dazed-hippocampus

[dazed-hippocampus]

The Emperor of Ice-Cream

Call the roller of big cigars,

The muscular one, and bid him whip

In kitchen cups concupiscent curds.

Let the wenches dawdle in such dress

As they are used to wear, and let the boys

Bring flowers in last month's newspapers.

Let be be finale of seem.

The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream.

Take from the dresser of deal,

Lacking the three glass knobs, that sheet

On which she embroidered fantails once

And spread it so as to cover her face.

If her horny feet protrude, they come

To show how cold she is, and dumb.

Let the lamp affix its beam.

The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream

-Wallace Stevens

[dazed-hippocampus]

I was at the funeral of someone i didn't know. The church was absolutely beautiful. Cathedral ceilings, stained glass windows taller than you can imagine! But people I knew were there. My aunt and some uncles. My blouse kept unbuttoning, and all areas of my blouse that were sewn together unraveled, and you could start seeing my chest... I started to panic, so I texted Anthony to grab mcds and pick me up, but I couldn't find the exit. As if I was going around in circles. This church is a huge maze, is all I can think. Every door led to nothing, either locked or when I opened it a solid wall. BUT WHY! I NEED TO GET OUT AND OUT NOW! It felt as if the church was closing in on me, and someone was watching with glee because I could not leave. Eventually, somehow I got to this bus, it looked like a steam punk version of a bus, brass in color, tall pillars that bellow out black smoke and cold. I remember feeling cold with very small windows. So, in order for me to leave, there were instructions for me to kill these ppl that were blocking me from leaving. Of course, I did not want to do that, so I ran to this very small space where I could see the drivers seat. When I turned around, they were on the bus. Dread started to set in. I climbed through to get in the front seat. I saw that the bus was actually moving, but no one was driving, so I had to try to get into the seat. I adjusted myself into the seat so i could drive this monstrosity of a bus, but before I knew it, it crashed. I failed. I jumped up from my dream. Never got out. 

3.29.23

[dazed-hippocampus]

“There is some good in this world, and it’s worth fighting for.”

— J.R.R. Tolkien

[dazed-hippocampus]

Disassociated badly in my dream... I saw myself but it wasn't me. She was standing staring at me, so I slapped her to see if it would go away....she didn't. I Lost track of time in my dream. House was at my stepfathers, the set up the same but decorations different. Remember trying to turn the stove off someone had turned them all on on high and disappeared. Keep trying to get phones to work to call someone and that didn't work. Finally ran outside and ran up to anthony crying. Something about animals not being animals. I hurt them. I couldn't figure out who was real and who wasn't. I woke up scared

9.29.22

[dazed-hippocampus]

Meditation 🧘‍♀️ Music

[dazed-hippocampus]

"A novel was a confession to everything by a man who had never done anything"

-Mark Twain