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k this sideblog system doesn't really work for me back to @avoiceofnerat

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The simple premise I haven't seen anyone exploit yet: What if during his meeting with the Cat King near the lighthouse Edwin bolted and left BEFORE the Cat King had a chance to remove the truth spell?

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they are out for business 🫡

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More details 💕

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Okay, but imagine Charles calling Edwin his best friend for the first time.

Affection comes so easy for Charles, so I am sure he decides on it quickly, because this is the boy who read him to sleep when he was dying, the boy he has given up eternal bliss for, but for Edwin?

Edwin couldn't stand being around Simon when he only wanted to tell him he looked smart in his cap, and here is this bright-eyed, beautiful boy, grinning at him with sun stitched into his smile, and saying, "Well, we're best mates, him and I."

Love confessions when you know the other inside out are one thing, but I am pretty sure that Charles expressing any kind of love for him for the first time must have been the closest thing Edwin had felt to heaven so far.

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gentle

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Edwin moves with confidence and attitude and sass, and I've been thinking about how that lines up with what we know of him from before his death

Canonically, he was being bullied for being effeminate (calling him a Mary Ann when they sacrificed him). We don't see anything else, but based on that scene and the fact that all the boys in the dorm either participated or did nothing to stop it, Edwin was likely quite reserved. During his life, I think it's unlikely that he had that same amount of flair and confidence to his movements.

This implies that during his time with Charles, that confidence and comfort was able to grow and develop. I imagine that when he was alive, Edwin would have received insults or reprimands when he moved in a way he was inclined to, so he would stop and try to reign himself in. With Charles, however, he did not receive those kinds of responses. The boys poke fun at each other, but it's always so sincerely affectionate.

I'm struggling to really word all of this, but ultimately, I think that the Edwin we see is as expressive in his body and movements as he is only after many years of friendship with someone he was safe and free to be his whole self around

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Are we going to talk about how there were several hours between Charles' meeting with Edwin and his death? We don’t know how many, or whether his death could have been prevented with timely medical help.

That’s the thing — we don’t know, and neither do the boys. I doubt they’ve ever thought about that at all.

But what if on a case they encounter a guy who, after being beaten, spent some time immersed in cold water? Enough time to land him in the moderate hypothermia zone. They get him on land, and guess what? All of a sudden, he can see ghosts.

“Oh no,” thinks Edwin. He grasps Charles’s shoulder because he knows how this will play out…

Except this time there’s Crystal. Or Niko, or Jenny — it doesn’t really matter, does it? There’s someone whose only knowledge of hypothermia comes from a brief first-aid training. So she hurries everyone to the nearest house and makes the ghost boys help her dunk the guy into a warm bath while the owner of the house calls for an ambulance.

The guy survives and thanks them for saving his life afterward.

They wonder.

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Just realised that when niko gets stabbed, her dying mimicks the night nurse explaining what such a death would look like... I feel a little sick

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Edwin Payne

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the Cat King telling Edwin to count cats in Port Townsend was actually brilliant:

it is non sexual, thus overcoming Edwin's repression walls

it is not entirely non-sensical, he is a cat anyway

it is not an one-and-done chore

and most importantly: it forces Edwin to run around the city thinking about cats (aka the Cat King) constantly

while using the cats that Edwin encounters to keep tabs on him

just. *chef's kiss*

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This is kind of an afterthought of my Charles and Love meta, but I had this thought and now it's rotting my brain.

Perhaps the reason Charles has continued to repress his more intense emotions around Edwin because he's afraid that, if he pushes Edwin too far, he won't let Charles stay. Again, this isn't a dig at Edwin, it's Charles' trauma-brain messing with his perception.

Edwin said from the beginning "I'm not good with people," and Charles basically said "Tough, you're stuck with me."

But Edwin is smart and fast. And frankly, could conceivably cut straight to the bone with words, if the need arose. If he really wanted to be rid of Charles, he could make it happen. Maybe even get him sent to his afterlife.

And Charles just couldn't handle that. He couldn't handle the abandonment or the betrayal. But he knows that Edwin is, hypothetically, capable.

Edwin would, of course, never do this. But Charles has seen how Edwin reacts to strong emotions and conflict. And he can't risk losing the only safety net he's ever had in his existence.

Charles told Edwin from the start: "I'm aces with other people," and has been desperately trying to prove that ever since.

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Long post incoming, but I've been on and off it for days so you're gonna see it.

On Charles and Love

I think there's a lot more to Charles' reaction to Edwin's confession than what we may first assume.

Charles loves harder than anyone, but I don't think he even knows what it means or feels like to be IN love--or to be loved back. This isn't a dig at Edwin, so don't @ me. This has to do with Charles' past.

When Edwin first confesses on the steps of Hell, Charles doesn't even hesitate with his response: "Great, love you too, can we go now?" He does love Edwin, one way or another. He hasn't needed to examine that love any further. He doesn't think Edwin could mean it that way, because Edwin probably has never given any indication of feeling that for anyone. Perhaps he didn't think Edwin capable of love in that way. Perhaps it's his own repressed sexuality. Perhaps it's the feeling that he is inherently unlovable. Perhaps it's a combination of things.

On Edwin's and Charles' Repression

Look, Edwin is clearly autistic and heavily emotionally repressed--he's British, from 1916, and male. That's the perfect storm of emotional repression. But he clearly feels and feels deeply--he just doesn't always let on about it. (Which is such a nice thing to see for autistic representation, the "unfeeling alien" trope ain't it.)

And even though they've been together for 30 years, they clearly do not talk about deep emotions much, because it makes Edwin uncomfortable and Charles probably wouldn't manage to get much out before cracking a joke instead--it's his defense mechanism.

As for his own repression, Charles grew up in the 80s as a biracial kid with an abusive father. He was also at least questionably queer while alive: he was part of an alt crowd, wore eyeliner, and wore a single dangly earring. Now that doesn't mean for certain he's queer or questioning, but it IS a pretty common code in media and storytelling. And I imagine no small part of his father's excuses for abusing Charles had to do with "beating the queer out of him." Of COURSE that led to repression--how could it not?

On Feeling Unlovable

And the feeling that he's inherently unlovable? Does he really feel that way? I think so.

He wants it. He wants to be loved so badly. And because of that, he tries so hard. He tries to stay light and happy and kind, even when he's suffering underneath--he has his own flavor of emotional repression. Because if he can't be loved, he can at least be liked.

And he doesn't just want people to like him, he needs them to like him, because he needs to know he's likable. Because there's safety in being likable. There's safety in being funny and friendly and "a good sort of chap." It's proof he's not the monster his father was--the monsters his friends were. It's his shield. The shield he uses to protect himself from the world, yes, but also to protect the world from him. Or at least, who he thinks he is, deep down.

It's also, in his mind, his only chance at being loved. His only chance at staying loved. Because love is earned. Because love is the reward for good behavior. At least, that's how it was as a kid, right? And that's all he knows. He died before he could experience any other kind of love--besides the love between himself and Edwin, which is its own complicated matter.

The other difficult aspect of growing up in a household where love and affection were weaponized and where violence is an acceptable reaction to anger, is how it radically alters your perception of love and family.

You crave the love and validation you never received, but you also fear it and don't believe it's real when it comes without strings.

You struggle to identify love in healthy relationships because if it doesn't hurt, then is it really love?

And even though you crave it more than anything, you're afraid of it. You're afraid for things to get real, because real love--or your understanding of it--is dangerous.

Because love is a weapon and you can't bear for anyone to use it against you again.

Hurt People Hurt People...Sometimes

Trauma manifests differently in each person. There are some commonalities, but it's never exactly the same. I know the saying is "hurt people hurt people" and that's not entirely wrong. But sometimes, hurt people heal people--or at least try to. Charles is in the second group.

Charles never, ever wants anyone to feel the kind of love he knew while he was alive. So he paradoxically loves openly while remaining guarded. His loyalty and devotion are unmatched. He went to Hell for Edwin. But he also never told Edwin the truth about his father until essentially forced to. Because that involves vulnerability. It involves, in his eyes, weakness. And what did vulnerability and "weakness" get him in life? Well...dead.

But he craves reciprocation. He needs to feel like he can be vulnerable, safely. I don't think that Edwin has done anything to make him feel unsafe, but being that they're both emotionally surpressed boys killed by other boys for perceived weaknesses at 16 and the lack of a ghost therapist...it's not all that surprising they haven't dealt with their issues in 30 years.

I think this is why he latches onto Crystal so quickly and easily. Firstly, she's alive: he can at least pretend to ignore his own death for a bit. Secondly, she's his age (sort of) and can see him, which is an uncommon experience at best. Thirdly, again--she's alive, so it can never last--never be real. Either she'll age beyond him, or she'll die and likely be taken to her afterlife. Which he'll happily ignore for the first two reasons.

On Types of Love

I won't get too into this, because I'm in no way an expert in the wide variety of emotions attributed to love. But I will say this: Charles died at 16.

If we set aside the possibility of him being aromantic for now (which he absolutely could be), he may never have had the chance to fall in love while he was alive. If he could even recognize it for what it was. I mean, I'm in my 30s, been married and divorced twice, and I'm still not sure I've ever been in love. At 16, you're drowning in hormones and it can be hard to decipher feelings.

On Arrested Development

If you think about it, his death and subsequent ghostly afterlife are a supernatural version of the arrested development a lot of child abuse survivors experience. But his development arrested literally--he literally CAN'T grow up. At least, not physically.

He may have had 30 years to address his issues, but why would he have thought to? He doesn't have the same responsibilities or needs as a living adult. He's constantly on the job or on the run from Death, he's living with Emotional Repression the Person (my beloved), and frankly...it hurts to examine those problems. How many adults are actively avoiding their own issues?

On the Confession

Edwin, with the most heartwrenching tone of voice since David "I would like to spend" Tennant, makes clear that he's IN love with Charles. And for a moment Charles looks like he's been walloped in the gut with an iron bar, trying to process. But then the trauma-brain kicks in.

He finds the first "logical" explanation to someone (Edwin) telling him they love him: it's a literary reference, and Edwin is...maybe not "messing" with him, but maybe being extra dramatic about this? It can't be real.

But then Edwin gets upset--he's serious about this. And Charles sort of...short-circuits. He can't process this right now, not when they're running for their afterlives. Not when the Night Mother is waiting to split them up. Not when he's barely even begun to process his trauma. So he does everything he can to make sure Edwin knows that, no matter what, he loves him. Maybe not in the same way, but with the same depth.

Because they'll have time. They'll have all the time in the world to figure out what this means. Because they certainly don't right now, and everything Edwin is saying flies directly in the face of every opinion Charles has ever held about himself.

And what the hell is he supposed to do with that?

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Uh oh. Can I propose a little tweak here? Imagine this happens not on the first meeting with Cat King, but somewhen after the Lighthouse, when Edwin is on the brink of realising his feelings for Charles, but he is not quite there yet. And this time Cat King doesn't whisk him away before Charles and Crystal's eyes, but meets him somewhere sneakily, again.

Imagine this happens not when they solved the case and are ready to go back home, but when they are tied to the town by Edwin's bracelet, when the Lost & Found department is already alerted to them being there, and they know they have several enemies in the town. There are options to who is a culprit now.

Have I managed to make the setup even more angsty?

Lol When Edwin shows back up after his first one-on-one with the Cat King and is like "I was only gone a few moments" and Charles is like "you were gone for hours" no wonder he was so suspicious the rest of the season.

But also, what would have happened if Edwin DID agree to the Cat King's original bargain. He...gets frisky with the Cat King...gets dropped back in and Charles is just sat there, crying, because he used up his anger days ago thinking Edwin was gone forever. The "palace" has been fully trashed by a now-broken cricket bat. Edwin's about to ask Charles what's going on and from behind him, Crystal gasps and drops her breakfast. Charles looks up and doesn't believe what he's seeing.

"Where have you been?" he whispers.

"I...I was only gone a few hours...what...what happened here?"

"Edwin...you've been gone for weeks."

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Dead Boy Detectives 1.01 · The Case of Crystal Palace

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The Dead Boy Detectives and their board games:

In an interview with IndieWire it was mentioned that they had “every international version of Clue” and I had to take a closer look. Not only is it not exactly “international” versions, (considering that both Charles and Edwin are British, their national one would be Cluedo, so Clue does work as international in that sense), but the board games you see in the background are all vintage and from different decades!

I did not cover all the Clues, although they do have at least 8 of them in that closet. But their assortment of board games is quite interesting!

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I love dead boy detectives as Hob’s lodgers, but in addition I raise you: Jenny as a bartender at the New Inn