ddorie

[ddorie]

just ask him! — jung sungchan

PAIRING ✿ : barista!sungchan x f!reader

GENRE ✿ : fluff, oneshot, smau

WARNINGS ✿ : profanity

SYNOPSIS ✿ : you work the register at your family-owned cafe. recently, your parents hired jung sungchan—your ridiculously tall (and unfairly handsome) classmate—as the new barista. you weren’t meant to get close… but over time, you started using him as your emergency explainer whenever you forgot the drinks. the thing is, even after you’d memorized the whole menu, the nudges and soft hits never stopped.

[ddorie]

texts with otaku bf!sohee. (pt.2)

lee sohee x fem!reader

. . fluff , humour

part one part two

notes: this is literally my fav sohee pic omgggg this loser 😭

[ddorie]

🍰 minnie 18 (07’) sheher viet

navi . . m.list rules ( under construction )

[ddorie]

hiii can i ask you how you write texts? like which apps do you use? i’m trying to write my first smau but i have no idea how toooo

hello~~ i use social dummy for my text messages and twinote for tweets !!

(social dummy might not be available on the app store so if that’s the case, memi messages is a good alternative !)

good luck on your smaus ^_<

[ddorie]

ddorie finish a fic before starting new ones challenge go.. (IMPOSSIBLE)

[ddorie]

some1 feed me sohee fluff

[ddorie]

sudden user change ><

kkyiu —> ddorie

[ddorie]

this funny feeling

a/n: i'm writing this long ass thing and it's taking everything out of me so...here's a little smth that i conjured up while i was taking a writing break cause i'm running on fumes lol

word count: 1.7k

there's a funny feeling in your chest when you look at sungchan jung. all six feet of broad shoulders, strong muscles, and cocky smiles of him. the feeling settles in your stomach like a caged set of butterflies are preparing to take flight but haven't quite found their wings just yet.

instead, every time he smiled, laughed, yelled across the room, or even just purses his lips in silence, the butterflies in your stomach flapped around helplessly as you watched him.

it's almost cliché, the way that everything leading up to this has played out.

the two of you had gone to the same elementary school, middle school, and now, high school. but while you'd doodled his name in the corner of your assignments, only to hurriedly scratch it out before submitting it, you knew for a fact that sungchan barely knew you existed.

it'd made you upset at first; the way he walked past you without so much as a spare glance while you'd rack your brain, trying to come up with ways so that you could end up in his general vicinity, drawn like a moth to a shining star.

and then, it became natural. in the stories, the shy, quiet girl only got the handsome, charming boy if she had a glow up that involved a) tutoring the said charming boy or b) if she took off her glasses.

unfortunately for you, neither of those things worked on sungchan. so you were left with just awkward interactions in the hallways when you'd accidentally bump into him or stumbling over your words when he asked to borrow a pencil.

in the past fourteen years you'd been aware of sungchan, you don't think you'd crossed his mind even once.

but then something changed.

the way that he used to glide past you in the hallways turned into a slow, deliberate saunter. he held your gaze as you passed out papers with the teacher. his voice dropped to gentle tones when he asked you what you'd gotten for number seven.

it was devastating, being noticed by sungchan. you couldn't pinpoint what exactly had drawn his attention. so you spent hours every morning, dolling yourself up as much as possible in the constraints of your uniform, hoping that the prettier you got, the more of his attention you could steal.

soon, sungchan began asking you about yourself. your name. which university you wanted to go to after high school. what you wanted to do with your life. why you were in microeconomics of all classes together with him.

it was everything you'd ever dreamed of. there had been decades where you'd prayed that he would just turn around and look at you, standing at the other end of the hallway, your gaze following him. and now, he was sitting and talking to you, asking you things that you didn't think he would ever care to ask.

but every moment felt like you were waiting for the other shoe to drop. it was excruciating, feeling giddy and answering his questions as you felt your stomach clench with the foreboding thought in your mind that all of this was so temporary. that he was bored with his perfect friends, his perfect life, and his perfect everything, that you were just the little fixation of the day.

that he was just making friendly conversation since you were in the last three months of high school, leaving all the people you'd known since you were unable to even pronounce words fluently to venture onto adventures in places you still couldn't pronounce.

and then there was the stupid, hopeless part of you that just kept wishing that it was because he'd finally opened his eyes. that sungchan had turned and saw you at the end of the hallway and decided to walk towards you. that he had chosen you as the one he wanted to walk out of high school with.

it was a stupid, hopeless notion.

sungchan loved his girlfriend too much to even entertain the thought of you as anything but just a pity case of a person that he wanted to get to know before he locked all of high school into some folder in his mind that he never quite felt compelled to open.

she was gorgeous too. never seemed to ever be able to just melt into a crowd. somehow, crowds parted to carve her a path, people tripped over their own feet to help her in her times of need, and people always noticed her. she was so sweet. it nauseated you. so smart. it infuriated you.

and she was so in love with sungchan that you physically felt ill every time you looked at the two of them. all six feet of him and all five and a half feet of her. the skirt that seemed to flop around uselessly around your thighs and seemed to accentuate her every curve.

the way she waited so patiently every time sungchan cut away from her to talk to someone, his arm still reaching out blindly for her waist.

the way she invited you to her graduation party when she'd spoken to even less than sungchan had just because sungchan stopped in the hallway once to ask you about how the microeconomics exam had gone.

the way that sungchan had looked at her, beaming with pride.

it was devastating, feeling as though the butterflies were beating themselves to a horrid, tragic death as you realized that for all of your primping and priming, sungchan had only ever noticed you as yet another somewhat friendly face in the crowd. never the romantic interest that you always wanted to be to him. just someone that he'd wave at on the street but never cross the street to talk to. someone else that he could add to his repertoire of people he knew.

and the worst part? you were sure that he didn't even think about it that way because you were sure he didn't even think about you enough to define it.

when he asked you to sign his yearbook, three days before the last day of school, you almost said no. what would he do with your wishes when he wouldn't even remember you existed the moment graduation was over?

but then he looked at you with those big brown eyes that could melt the fiercest glaciers in the arctics and you were a goner. you tried to ignore the way that the cage in your stomach where you stored all the butterflies that gave you that funny feeling when you looked at sungchan jung was starting to give when his hand brushed against yours. the way that you could feel them slip out of the cage, slowly, quietly, and then all at once.

have a great summer, sungchan. thanks for all the funny feelings, all these years. - y/n

you knew he didn't and wouldn't read it. your handwriting was too small, having shoved the letters in between so many others, pages filled to the brim with all of his well-wishers.

and yet, the cliché is right, when he sees you again all these years later.

he's standing across the street at an intersection in the heart of a city you never thought you'd ever be able to afford to live in. he's alone, in a three piece suit and a coffee cup in his hand. you don't see him this time, much too preoccupied with the funny text that a coworker had sent you.

but the butterflies start, even before you look up and you just know. your head lifts, frantically searching the crowd as you melt into it, so sure of his presence and yet being unable to find him.

you stand on the other side of the street, eyes filled with tears. why? for losing him for the second time? for the fact that sungchan was still the reason why you had a funny feeling in your stomach? you don't know.

unsure of what to do or where to search, you adjust the strap of your briefcase, smiling a bitter smile as you sigh. perhaps you were always meant to be perpendicular. meant to meet, never meant to stay.

you turn, ready to compose yourself and shove the butterflies back into the cage but you can't. not when he's staring at you, having never crossed the intersection.

he's watching you carefully, as though he's worried that he might offend you with his memories. that the fact that he remembers exactly who you are when you might not remember him is the singular most devastating thing he can think of.

"what did you mean by that?" he asks. it's the first thing that he says in years. it's one of the twenty-six conversations you'd ever had with him.

"i'd loved you for a long time," you admit.

sungchan just watches you, steam rising from the coffee cup, evidently freshly brewed. "why didn't you tell me?"

you shrug. "you never asked."

"i didn't know."

"about my love or about who i was?"

"i'm sorry."

you sigh again, smiling a sweet and yet so melancholy smile. "it's okay. it was my fault."

"do you wanna catch up? how have you been since high school?" sungchan looks nervous, foot pawing at the ground, scuffing his freshly polished loafers. you tilt your head, and now, it's your turn to watch him.

"yeah, let's catch up some time, sungchan," you say finally. he smiles that stupid, gorgeous smile and you know you're done for.

the butterflies no longer can be confined in their cage as they flap outwards, occupying every inch of your body as he types his number into your phone.

"you haven't changed your number," you bemuse.

"neither have you. changed your number, i mean. you've changed a lot though," sungchan says.

"yeah?"

"yeah. i'll tell you how over a cup of coffee."

you laugh, and sungchan is unable to keep the smirk off his face. you just wave him off and start towards your office, promising to text him later in the day.

"oh and y/n?" sungchan calls out from behind you. you don't turn around but you pause your movements, ready to hear him out.

"thanks for this funny feeling for the past fourteen and a half minutes."

[ddorie]

texts with downbad!sungchan.

jung sungchan x fem!reader

. . smau oneshot , fluff , humour

note : never finished my eunseok fic so pls enjoy these rushed texts ㅠㅠ (sungchan is bias wrecking me sooo hard)

[ddorie]

brother’sbandmate!eunseok x reader

𝜗𝜚 : just a short drabble hehe. i love it when there is unspoken tension. first time posting here!

booming vibrations crept to your chest; sounds coming from the garage. there they go again. your brother’s band starting their session for the day, interrupting your train of thought. not today. please. it’s the finals next week—plus it’s a saturday morning! don’t they have school and shit to do? they’ve been at it for two weeks now. who knows what they are practicing for, you couldn’t be bothered to ask your brother. but one thing is for sure, they are not going to terrorize you today, not when you have multiple powerpoints to go over, and assignments to submit.

stomps of your feet drown from the loud playing behind the door you are facing. you stopped for a moment, calming your senses, sohee…i swear if you pull a ‘just another set’ excuse. you were sure your eardrums almost burst walking into that hellhole. basically screaming now, “sohee, can you guys not do this today, it’s the weekend right? get some rest and give me some rest, my finals is coming, i have a lot of shit to do!” that came out in one breath. he looked puzzled meeting your annoyed eyes. “what? no way! don’t you know we have an upcoming gig on monday? we have to rehearse.” the rest of the band abruptly stopped—a certain gaze caught your peripheral—but then your brother blocked your view ahead. not as calmly anymore, “how’s that my problem. go somewhere else where i can’t hear your noise!” you didn’t mean to be rude; it must have been the pent up frustration over the two weeks you endured. then their guitarist—wonbin, chimed in, “we had revisions to practice, yn. please, just today?” anton, simply smiled to appease, still holding on to his bass guitar. “no–“ you got cut off by a voice you rarely ever hear.

like a cold wind blowing, his presence suddenly becoming known. “we’re sorry for inconveniencing you. but we really need to finalize our performance today. just let us do one more set, hmm?” he got up; his hands still holding the sticks. eunseok has never been this forward—to you at least. blinking your eyes, mouth slightly agape, all you can let out was a small huff. “is that a yes?” you notice a slight tug at his mouth. a smirk. you panicked. get me out of here. “y-you owe me one, sohee.” quickly diverting your attention from eunseok, his gaze making you self-conscious. you stood there for an embarrassing moment—your brain short-circuited before storming out there. what was that?

his eyes followed your hurried frame, as he let out a light chuckle—amused by your flustered reaction. eunseok has never really noticed you before this, you have always been sohee’s younger sister to him, nothing beyond that. “don’t mind my sister, she’s grumpy all the time.” waving his hand loosely like he is used to it. shared worries of anton and wonbin flew behind eunseok’s head. “what’s her name again?” your brother eyed eunseok from the question, he has never asked anything about you before, but he tried to joke it off, not wanting to make it weird, “bro, my sister’s off limits. don’t start it.” his tone indifferent but there’s a hint of reminder. eunseok simply shrugged his shoulders, finding sohee’s warning absurd. of course, he know, he will never…

[ddorie]

cooking up a eunseok fic rn 💞💗💕 let’s hope i finish it "( – ⌓ – )

hii i’m back i think !!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ddorie]

hii i’m back i think !!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ddorie]

Hi, can you pls do a fic or head canon of ex bf anton who misses reader ex?

Includes:- pathetic Anton kind of, open ended, mild angst? Very mild angst.

I don't know if you wanted them to get back together or not so I left it open ended, tysm for requesting <333

Many much typo, no much Grammer, I very dumb dumb

"Oh and there's this really good ramen place right around the corner, I remember going there and...blah blah blah blah"

Anton can practically feel his brain leaking out of his ears from boredom, he feels like an asshole thinking this but he really wishes he never agreed to go on this date. He tried to argue against the idea but after watching him mope around their house like a kicked puppy sungchan insisted he at least try to have some fun and forget about you. The problem is that, being on a date, he can't think of anything but you and how he wants you to be here instead of her.

There isn't anything wrong with her, the girl he's on a date with, she's pretty and seems nice. They both have a lot in common, at least on paper, but he just can't do this right now. She isn't you, and you're the only one he wants. He isn't sure when it happened, when he got so comfortable that you would never leave him that he let himself get carried away. Being an Idol is a taxing job with little free time and slowly he started loosing focus, spending his free time playing games or sleeping instead of trying to spend his time with you.

It's not like he didn't know it upset you, you were getting increasingly agitated at his lack of effort but....he just assumed you'd never leave. Life felt so whole and good with you that he forgot there was a time before you, that you could leave if you ever wished. So when you told him you both needed to talk he was as dismissive as ever, that was until you said you were ending things for good. Antons world shattered that day.

He's been walking around like a ghost for the past month, it's like a part of him is gone and he can't get it back. He wishes he had begged you to take him back that day, he was too prideful to do anything but accept it at the time but now all he wants to do is go back in time and promise he'll change, that he'll love you like you deserve. He feels like a fool, loosing the best thing that's ever happened to him.

"Are you even listening?" Her voice snaps him out of his trance. He looks around, a bit embarrassed.

"uh....I'm...I'm sorry." Is all he can muster up to say, because he really is sorry for wasting her time like this. She just sighs, poking around at her food, looking annoyed. He doesn't say anything to make her feel better, eating his food in silence till the bill comes.

He sighs when he finally leaves the restaurant, sitting down on his car and sinking into his seat. He's miserable without you, up until this point he'd been hesitant to accept it but it's true. His life isn't the same without you in it.

He opens up his phone, scrolling through his contacts till he finds yours. 'Future wife (🤞🏻)' he thought the contact name was sweet at the time, especially since he was so sure you would be his future wife but now it just hurts to look at. He contemplates back and forth between calling you, it's pathetic, he thinks to himself, you've probably moved on and he'd just be making a fool out of himself, he just needs to move on and give it time. He calls anyway.

The phone seems to ring forever, it's only rung twice but it sure feels like eternity, his heart is beating out of his chest and he's immediately regretting his actions. What if you don't pick up? What if you do pick up? What's worse? If he cuts the call now you'll still get the notification, god be probably seems so desperate-

"...Anton?" he lets go of a breath he didn't know he was holding when he hears your voice. Surely you care about him at least a little bit if you picked up.

"...Can we talk?.... please just hear me out, I love you, I'm so sorry"

If you guys have any ideas future fics, my ask box is open :3

[ddorie]

✎ᝰ.ᐟ⋆⑅˚₊ RAIN CHECK - a jung sungchan oneshot

| 정성찬 Only love can make it rain

⟢ pairing: highschool student!sungchan x highschool student!reader

⟢ synopsis: You and Your best friend have a tradition of walking home from school together but when it starts pouring and he insists on sharing his umbrella which is way too small for two people , things get…warmer?

⟢ genre: fluff 𝄃𝄃𝄂𝄂𝄀𝄁𝄃𝄂𝄂𝄃 ⟢ word count: 1k

You can’t remember when it exactly started, but walking home with Sungchan became a daily routine for you.

Neither of you ever talked about how it started — it just did. You both left school at the same time, took the same path home, and after a while, it felt weird to not be walking together. What started as casual small talks turned into deep debates about the most random topics, races until the streetlight, and Sungchan failed attempts to impress you with his unfunny jokes.

You had grown used to him just being there.

But today, the weather had different plans.

The sky had been looking heavy all day, big grey clouds rolling in like some warning, but you and Sungchan ignored them. You both figured you’d make it home before it started to rain.

Big mistake.

The moment you stepped outside, the first raindrop lands on your cheek. A second later, the sky start’s pouring.

“Are you KIDDING ME?” you groan, pulling your hoodie up.

Sungchan lets out a deep sigh, as if personally stabbed in the back by the weather. “I knew I should’ve done a rain check.”

You watch as students search for a cover, some running towards the bus stop while others huddle under porch covers. Beside you, Sungchan reaches into his bag and pulls out—

The tiniest, most ridiculous small umbrella you have ever seen.

You stare at it. Then at him. Then back at the umbrella. “That’s it??”

“It’s all I had at home, okay?” Sungchan huffs, flicking it open. The thing could barely cover his shoulders, let alone two people. He glances between you and the umbrella before tilting it more towards you with a dramatic sigh. “Okay, we got two choices. One: we run for our lives. Two: we squeeze under this and pray for them.

You look at the pathetic excuse for an umbrella. “Guess I’m gonna have to take my chances with the rain.”

“Coward.” He teases you, but before you can start running, he grabs your wrist and pulls you under the umbrella with him. The move is so sudden that you barely process it — one second, you’re standing like 4 feet away from him, and the next, you’re way too close, his arm practically wrapped around yours as he awkwardly tries to hold the umbrella over you both.

“This is not working” you say, moving slightly.

Sungchan looks at you, and for the first time, he realises how close you two are right now. he clears his throat, tightening his grip on the umbrella. “Uh — No , yeah. This is… cozy.”

You roll your eyes at his words, but you can’t hide the smile tugging at your lips. “Remind me to buy you a real umbrella.”

“Hey, this one is functional” he argues.

Right then, a gust of wind flips the umbrella inside out.

You both stare at it for a few. Then at each other.

A beat of silence.

Then, you burst into laughter.

Sungchan frowns, struggling to flip the umbrella back while rain completely soaks you both. “This is not funny.”

“you should’ve seen the look on your face when it broke” you say between laughs.

Sungchan finally gives up, shoving the broken umbrella into his bag. “Alright. New plan. We make a run for it.”

“What happened to your functional umbrella?” you say sarcastically

He glares playfully. “Do you want to stand here all day?”

You shake your head, still smiling from ear to ear. “Fine. On three?”

Sungchan nods. “1…2…3 — ”

You take off running, rain soaking through your clothes as you race towards a small convenience store a few blocks away. Puddles splash and water getting into your shoes, but you’re laughing too hard to care.

By the time you reach the store, your clothes completely drenched and so is your hair. Sungchan pushes open the door, and the warm air inside is a nice contrast to the chilly rain. The cashier looks up, unimpressed at the two soaking — wet disasters dripping water all over the floor.

Sungchan gives them an apologetic smile before turning to you. “Well. That was something.”

“You think?” you say, shaking water from your hands.

Sungchan disappears into one of the aisles and returns a moment later with two hot packs. He hands one to you while tearing his own open. “Here. You’re probably freezing.”

You take it, pressing it between your hands. “Thanks.”

He watches you for a second, then rubs the back of his neck, suddenly looking… nervous?

“uh… I actually didn’t really mind getting caught in the rain” he says, his voice quieter than usual.

You glance up at him, raising an eyebrow at his words. “Really? Because I think I just saw you shiver.”

He laughs softly, then looks away, his fingers fidgeting with the edge of the hot pack. “I mean, I didn’t mind it because it was with you.”

You can swear your heart just skipped a beat. The warmth from the hot pack spreads up your arms, but you know it’s not just from that.

Sungchan exhales, shifting his weight. “I was actually gonna say this later — not when we’re soaked and freezing — but… I really like you.” “and i mean like… A lot.”

You blink. The words set in your chest, pushing away any leftover chill from the rain.

“You really picked the worst timing for this huh?” you say, a teasing smile landing on your lips.

“I knew you were gonna say that.”

You laugh, stepping closer to him. “You’re lucky I like you too.”

His eyes widen slightly. “Wait — seriously?”

Instead of answering, you tip toe towards him and press a quick kiss on his cheek. He freezes, eyes going impossibly big.

you were about to apologise as he didn’t react for a few seconds but before you can do that, he steps closer, tilting his head slightly — just enough to close the distance between you two. His lips are warm against yours despite the rain, and for a moment, everything else fades away.

When you finally pull back, he’s smiling like a fool

“You’re not gonna make fun of me for this, are you?” you ask, “Oh, 100%” Sungchan replies immediately. “But only because I really, really really like you.”

Outside, the rain is still pouring, but somehow, it doesn’t seem so bad anymore.

note: JUNG SUNGCHAN PLS JUST ONE CHANCE😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

› leave ask/comment to be added to my permanent taglist

to my main masterlist

© dailylcy pls dont not repost on any other platform !

[ddorie]

strawberry cake 🍰 — anton lee

PAIRING ⟢ anton lee x fem!reader

GENRE ⟢ social media au, written, fluff

SYNOPSIS ⟢ anton lee has been in love with you since the beginning of the semester but never had the courage to talk to you. he thought he was fine admiring from afar—until the ice prince, park sunghoon, entered the picture. will anton take the risk or lose his chance forever?!

FEATURING ⟢ wonbin, sohee, seunghan, & sunchan of riize, karina & giselle of aespa, and sunghoon of enhypen!

CHAPTERS ⟢ tba!

start date ⟢ 22.02.25!

🍰 comment/send asks to be added to taglist!

💭 OMG first smau with anton (biased)! i'm so inlove with whipped idol troupe :(

[ddorie]

GHOST OF YOU

~𐙚⋆° — ONE SHOT

When Anton abruptly ended things without explanation you were left heartbroken but mostly confused. Now, months later there is a feeling you can’t seem to shake off, it feels like Anton is still somehow with you. In your thoughts, memories, even your dreams. Haunting you like a ghost

You tried to move on with distractions such as work or friends even going on dates, and when you thought you were starting to heal, he showed up.

wc - 7.4k

~~𐙚⋆° pairing — ex!anton x female reader

~~~𐙚⋆° features — Shotaro of riize and Sakura of le sserafim

~~~~𐙚⋆° genre — angst, exes

~~~~~𐙚⋆° warning — angst, cursing, low self-esteem, concern about being a burden in the relationship and breakup.

!!Authors' note!! - There may be a couple of spelling mistakes.. (there is problably a lot lol) edited it late at night.

This work is a work of fiction and is not intended to reflect the real-life personalities or actions of the individuals portrayed. It is created solely for entertainment purposes!!

You remember the last time you spoke with Anton. Given his energy, you thought he was just tired, that he'd have a long day at work like he usually would, and eventually would come back around to make up for how he acted. You remember he drove you home from a date, parked the car in your driveway and told you that he needed some space. His eyes kept avoiding yours as he finally uttered out “I don’t have time to discuss this right now, im sorry" his gaze still turned aside. Of course you thought it was a weird way to end things, so you figured you'd talk tomorrow when he wasn’t acting so strange. Arguing with him would only make things worse, you knew that. So you swallowed all the questions and let the silence see you through. You remember sitting there, staring at the door, unsure if you should leave as his hands were tight on the steering wheel, eyes refusing to grieve. When you texted him the next day, there was no reply. Then another day, and another. Days turned into weeks, and suddenly when you stood by the entrance to his place, you were met with nothing, just the silence and a wooden door in your face.

You then keep thinking back to the time before the breakup, wondering what might have caused it. Anton wouldn't be the type to have an affair, he’s always too caught up with work to even have the time for that. Given how he still showed affection and care, it doesn’t seem like he had fallen out of love with you. It’s frustrating because everything seemed fine on the surface, and yet here you are struggling to understand what went wrong.

The sage green walls were adorned with vintage advertisements, large wooden frames holding posters of iconic images of Lee hyori and Seo Taiji and boys. It was nice, it gave the place a nostalgic feel to it, kind of like stepping into a time machine when entering the cafe. The cafe didn’t have a fussy or overly planned setup, but more like a collection of well-loved pieces. Large windows overlooked the quiet street, as few pedestrians hurry by under their umbrellas. You like the way that the place wasn't fancy or trying to impress anyone, it was just a place to find comfort.

You sat at one of the corner tables, just enough to be out of the way but close enough to watch the world go by “So yeah… I really hope the apartment complex will be ready when I move in, I can’t really bear the thought of finding a new place until then.. are you even listening to me yn?” 

You pull your gaze away from the window where you had been staring at the rain streaking down the glass “Huh? Oh.. yeah, ha, sorry” you gave a half-hearted chuckle, rubbing your eyes. “Something about a fire? That sucks…” 

A slight frown tugging at her lips now “Jesus, what’s up with you today? You’re barely listening, and you haven’t even touched your drink.” she motioned to the untouched hot chocolate in front of you, the dark liquid sitting there cold and forgotten. “Are you okay?” you glanced down at the mug, noticing the way the steam had long since disappeared. She was right. You hadn’t even thought to take a sip. It was almost like you hadn’t been in this room at all. 

“I’m fine” You finally met Sakura's eyes “Im… fine, don't worry Kura” you repeated again.

Your eyes flicking back to the street outside. Raindrops pattering against the windows, several cars splashing through the same puddle just around the corner of the road, sending ripples across the wet pavement. The man outside had shifted, his hands shoved deep in his pockets now, face angled just enough for the streetlights to catch a glimpse of it. For a split second, you could’ve sworn it was him. Anton. The way he stood there, the look on the strangers face, even the coat and beanie he had on made you think of your ex lover. 

You know it’s not really Anton, it’s the ghost of who he was. The ghost that has been following you for a while now.

He wouldn’t be here you think. Not after everything that had happened. 

“What’s so distracting?” you quickly looked down at your fingers, pretending to fiddle your white long-sleeved shirt to cover up the way your palms were suddenly clammy. “Sorry” you muttered, embarrassed at how obvious your discomfort had become. You cleared your throat as your fingers continued to trace the edge of your sleeve, the white cotton had that soft feel at first, but the longer you fiddled with the sleeve, the more it seemed to cling to your skin.

“yn are you sure you’re okay? you look like you’ve seen a ghost” Sakura leans forward, placing both elbows on the table, her shoulders that were relaxed, now sit a little higher, showing she's fully tuned into you. You see how her chestnut brown hair fall just past her shoulders, and eyes that were almost too large for the rest of her face, but in a way that made them captivating rather than overwhelming. You feel a tuf of guilt for letting your mind wander to the figure outside the window, but you brush it off. It doesn’t matter. It’s not worth bothering her with it.

“Never mind” you lean in your seat, leaning back a little as you steer the conversation in a different direction. “So, about the apartment. You’ve signed the lease right? I mean, I know you haven’t moved in yet because of the fire, but..” You trail off. 

"Yeah," she says "I signed the lease a couple of weeks ago. It’s actually a pretty nice place, two-bedroom, 12th floor, so it has good light, and has the perfect amount of space for everything I need. with the fire though…" She trails of, fingers tapping absently on the edge of her coffee cup "I am supposed to move in 3 weeks, but everything got delayed because of the stupid smoke damage. So now i'm just waiting for them to call"

You can see the frustration in her eyes, she’s trying to stay optimistic about the apartment. It's hard to blame her for feeling a little on edge, since a place she was supposed to call her own, her fresh start, was suddenly tied up in renovations.

"Fuck that’s so annoying”

"You have no idea. I’m was just ready to have a place to settle in, you know?"

"You will soon”

Her eyes meet yours for a moment, her smile returning more genuinely this time "Yeah I hope so. It’ll be nice to have a fresh start. I’ve been needing it." 

A fresh start, oh the freedom of a fresh start.

A moment passes by and the conversation settles into a quieter rhythm, the figure outside the window fades from your mind completely. The moment feels safe again, and for now, that’s all that matters.

The rain outside had only picked up from a fine mist turning into a steady drizzle. “I'm just gonna ask if I can take this to go” you say standing and grabbing your raincoat from the back of your chair. Sakura glances at the window, where droplets race down the glass, then looks back at you. “Yeah sure” she pulls her own jacket on and reaches for the umbrella that’s been resting beside her chair. "Let's go" she says. 

As you guys step outside, the cool autumn air hits your face, the drizzle soaking into your coat before Sakura pulls the umbrella over both of you, holding it at just the right angle to keep the worst rain at bay. The streets are so much quieter now, the usual sound of cars and people almost drowned out by the rain. 

“Not exactly the best weather for a walk” Sakura mutters under her breath as she steps over a big puddle, trying to avoid getting soaked. She’s careful, but her foot slips just enough for some water to splash up, hitting the edges of your boots "oops” she grins while looking up at you, clearly amused by the splash. You roll your eyes and without saying anything, you loop your arm through hers and give her a gentle push nudging her along the quiet street. Now walking side by side, neither of you rush the conversation as it flows easily, shifting between casual topics and long pauses that aren't uncomfortable, but natural. Around the two of you are low-rise buildings that line on either side of where you walk, and above you the sky that was once a washed-out gray color is now deepened into a bruised dark shade.   

The walk isn’t long since the café is just a few blocks from your place. You’re almost at the entrance to your apartment complex as you see the familiar sight of it ahead, a patchwork of lives unfolding behind the windows. You see someone’s slouched on a couch, lost in whatever's on the TV as their eyes fully focused. In another window, a person is kneeling on the floor laughing softly as their small dog nudges at a toy. Right below that window is a guy pacing back and forth, his phone pressed to his ear and a frown tugging at his brows. It’s a comforting sight to you, truly, how effortlessly human emotions play out in everyday moments, making you reminded by how much you wear your feelings as people.

“Watch your step it can be slippery” you say glancing at Sakura as she folds up her umbrella, the fabric still damp from the rain. You watch her carefully step toward the entrance, the ground slick beneath her boots from the steady flow of people coming and going throughout the day. The edges of the doorway are a little wet, the rainwater gathering in small puddles from the constant shuffle of feet and the last thing you want is for either of you to slip and hurt yourself. 

You wait by the elevator, as Sakura now stands beside you, fidgeting with the end of her umbrella. Its a comfortable silence but after a moment you hear her exhale out loud making you glance at her, her eyes flicker with anticipation. She’s got something on her mind. You can feel it. Then the elevator door opens with a soft ding, you both take a step to enter. She clears her throat and as soon as the doors slide close her voice fills the room. “Okay so… you know...” her voice a little quiet like she’s testing the waters. She shifts from one foot to the other and then finally just lets it all out. “There’s this guy... I uhm- I think you’d like him” you raise an eyebrow, surprised at the sudden change in the conversation as you let her words hang in the air for a bit. In another given situation, this would have been such a fun comment from her. You’d have laughed, probably teased her about setting you up with some guy. You would have asked her for pictures of him, asked her where she knew him from, you would have felt the thrill of meeting someone new, that rush of excitement. But now.. with the sting of your breakup, it just feels wrong.

The thought of even thinking about someone new makes your stomach hurt, but you can’t exactly say that to her, not when she’s trying to do something nice to you. Sakura’s looking at you, waiting for your reaction as you let her words hang in the air. 

“I- uh… I don’t know”  

“He is really nice, I swear. Like, he’s super funny and has this smile that you can’t help but smile back at. It’s totally infectious! and it’s not just his personality, he’s also ridiculously good-looking. Like ridiculously. His name is Shotaro. Shotaro! I mean come on, what more can you ask fo-” 

“Thanks Kura.. but I think im good, i'm not really looking for anything right now”

“See! neither is he. Seriously yn. He’s just the type to go with the flow, see where things go. No pressure, just… you know, see what happens”

“okay so he wants to just fuck me?”

“No!! I mean probably? Have you seen yourself?.. and so what? if you aren't looking for anything serious either then it´d be perfect for you to meet up right?” 

The elevator dings again, pulling you back to the present moment. You step out into the hallway, the sound of your footsteps echoing softly in the empty space. “I get it, Kura. I really do” you say, trying to keep the mood light. “But like I said, I’m really not interested right now” Sakura slows her pace as she approaches the door to your apartment. You put your key in the lock and turn, which makes the door creak open due to the old hinges, loose from years of use. You step inside, kicking off your boots that accidently hit the wall, marking it with rainwater. Sakura follows behind you, already unbuttoning her coat and shrugging it off. She hangs her umbrella along with her coat and turns to you.

“It's because of him right? Anton?”

You almost consider lying, just saying no and trying to move on from the conversation. But there's that nagging truth in the back of your mind, that yes, part of the reason is because of him. But it’s not just him of course, but about the way he just walked away from your life. Just you sitting in the front seat of his car, clicking the door lock open, the click of the lock like a silent signal for you to leave. 

“Goodbye yn” He left you with a question mark in your head, trying to make sense of what the hell just happened.

"Kura.."

“I get it if you don't want to, but I'm speaking as your friend, and as your friend I want the best for you. You know.. want you to come out a bit, get some fresh air, get your mind off hi- off things.. It's just for one night! nothing more” 

She’s just trying to be a good friend and you know her heart’s in the right place. Your sweet Sakura, who was there for you when Anton left, holding you while you cried, letting you lean on her and wrapping her arms around you. She stayed through it all.

“it's very considerate Kura.. but maybe another time”

The next day you had work, but getting there wasn’t easy. You kept replaying the dream about Anton in your head, and it threw off your whole morning routine. It felt so damn real, like you could almost still smell the cooking in the kitchen and feel the warmth of the air. So when you woke up, it left this empty hollow feeling in your chest. The dreams weren’t that unusual. You’d had a few of them by now, little snapshots of normal life with him. This time you were cooking as he was sitting nearby, watching you do your thing. It wasn’t anything special, but it was precious, the kind of everyday stuff you used to take for granted. The whole time it felt like things were normal, but now in the break room at work, it felt like another lifetime.

You step into the break room, getting an escape from the spreadsheets and endless typing. The fridge and the sound of the coffee machine are the only things that break the silence, until you hear Semoon and Inu leaning towards each other a little too close, speaking in hushed tones from the corner table. It's not hard to overhear what they say as you stop in your tracks to carefully listen.

"I swear she was so much more fun when she was with him. Now it’s like... well, I don’t know. She’s just kinda there you know?" Insu chuckles

"You notice how serious she’s been lately?" Semoon voice laced with a kind of mockery as she leans back in her chair. 

"fuck yeah, like she’s gone all... serious? boring, more likely. I mean, what happened to her man? the girl who’d actually laugh at our jokes instead of just giving us that half-assed smile?" 

They act like it’s your fault, like your whole personality was tied to Anton. Viewing you as someone who is not allowed to be different now that he’s gone. Dumbasses. Of course you know that what they are talking about shouldn't bother you too much. But it still hurts. 

This place, this one fucking place you thought would help you clear your head. You feel that familiar frustration creeping in, fuck how you hate how everything seems to circle back to Anton. How everything still feels like it’s about him. Why can’t Anton just get out of your goddamn head?! You’re so much more than that. You know you are. You deserve to move on, with or without an explanation from him. He can't keep taking up space. This is your post-heartbreak era, damn it. A fresh start. A new woman. You won’t let their gossip drag you down. You don’t have time for petty conversations about your life and your pain. You’re done with all that. Instead of confronting them, you just walk out of the break room. No need to make a scene. No need to let them have the satisfaction of seeing you upset. You focus on your steps, taking a deep breath as you leave the noise behind and walk back to your desk. Forward. You have to keep moving forward. So instead of confronting them, your phone is in your hands now, texting Sakura´s number. 

“Hey Kura.. can you text me Shotaro’s number, I’ve changed my mind” 

Later that evening after getting home from work, you found yourself booking a date with Shotaro at that new restaurant you’d always wanted to try. You’d been meaning to go for months, but after things ended with Anton, it somehow never felt right to go.

You step out of the elevator and walk down the hallway towards your door. As you approach, you see Mr. Kim standing a few feet away. He’s an older man, a little hunched, always with his gray hair neatly combed. You know he lives alone with his cat “Tomato” who often wanders the hallways.

Mr. Kim raises his eyebrows as you pass by him “Someone was at your door today”

You glance at Mr. Kim, not entirely sure you heard him correctly, given his soft voice and the way he speaks very slowly.

 “I was taking out the trash” he continues “A tall man was standing by your door. Didn’t knock though... just... looked kind of upset, but he didn’t knock”

Only one person comes to mind. Anton.

Oh god. What was he doing here? Had he come to say something? Had he finally come to his senses? Was he here to talk? Why now of all times! He knew you’d be at work. Your mind spins with a thousand questions. 

"Mr. Kim, was it Anton you saw?" you ask

He looks thoughtful for a moment, his eyes squinting trying to recall the details. "I’m sorry, dear. I wasn’t wearing my glasses, so I can’t be sure. But it might have been him. He didn’t say hello though, he just stood there with his head down"

A knot tighten in you as you wait for him to say more, he just shakes his head clearly unsure of anything else "I didn’t see him for long. He just stood there, looked like he was lost in thought"

Forcing yourself to take a deep breath you try to keep your emotions in check. "Thank you, Mr. Kim. I appreciate you letting me know." 

"Of course dear"

-

You knew deep down this was a bad idea, yet here you are.. alone with freshly done makeup, hair perfectly straightened, something you put extra care in. Even your outfit took you at least 10 extra minutes to decide. All of it, just for Shotaro to be 15 minutes late. Every passing minute you thought about leaving, but you didn’t want to waste a perfectly good dinner. To hell with sitting alone, you’ve been wanting to try this place for ages anyway, and now you’ve finally got the chance. Date or not, you’re starving.

You scanned the room, trying to get a hold of the waiter, when suddenly a guy, clearly out of breath, appeared in front of your table. 

“Yn?” he says, a little surprised to see you still here, although very relieved that you haven't left.

“Uhm yea-“

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” he blurts “I was helping my sister, and time just got away from me. I really apologize!” You can’t help but chuckle a little, shaking your head. It’s hard not to smile at his flustered expression. “Oh haha, no worries”

You stand up to greet him with your hand, instead he pulls you into a hug. It's unexpected  but surely not unwelcome. He’s already talking again when you both pull back.

“I’m so glad Sakura showed me a picture of you or I’d probably be even later than this” he laughs a bit embarrassed “You look really beautiful, by the way. The color of the dress really suits your eyes” 

You glance down at the cherry-red dress. It’s the same dress Anton always used to say he loved. Like you can almost hear his voice in your head and see the way he used to smile whenever you wore it. You've worn it several times just because you liked the way he couldn't keep his hands off of you, as much as he liked the dress on you, he couldn’t help but peel it off later on, as if it was never meant to stay on for long. 

You look up to say thank you, but to your surprise, it’s not Shotaro sitting across from you. It’s Anton. His long black hair falls in waves around his face, just like it used to. He smiles at you, and it feels like your heart tightens. It's been so long since you've seen that smile, especially the warmth it gave to your body. You want to burst into tears, not just because of the flood of memories that come rushing back, but because it hurts so fucking much. You want to reach out and tell him that you miss him, that you'll do anything just to talk it out. Tell him how you still feel.

“Anton?” you whisper, you are scared, scared that saying his name too loudly might shatter this fragile moment and he’ll fade away.

In an instant his face shifts, suddenly his features soften, the dark hair fading into blonde, his jawline tapping soft, with a pronounced chin. The image of Anton disappears, replaced by the guy you saw earlier. This moment you thought you were just caught in, the one that pulled you back into the past, slips away just as quickly.

“Uh sorry?” He raised an eyebrow, he was glancing at the menu but now his full attention was on you.

“Oh... uh, thank you! you look great as well. The blonde hair really suits you, it gives you this... fresh, youthful look”

“Thank you yn. Kura did say you’d be the charmer” he flirts. 

You chuckle at his words, feeling a bit lighter, given what you just saw seconds ago. It's crazy how much missing someone can alter your brain to make you see things. Spending all your time trying to find him, months of calling him, sending messages he never reads, you think you´ve gone insane if you see him in front of you now. For tonight you hope that your mind won’t play tricks on you again, won’t make you see things that aren’t there. This night was supposed to be about letting go of Anton, not letting his ghost slip back into your thoughts.

Shotaro grins, clearly enjoying the reaction he got from you "So.." he says while leaning back on the wine red cushion chair. "Should we just go ahead and hit all the clichés and talk about where we’re from and our childhood traumas, after we order?" He gives you a smile, and damn Sakura was right, you can't help but smile back.

“You mean the classic first date questions?” you reply, putting your thumb and index finger on your chin, while looking up, pretending to think it over “Sure, why not, gotta make sure you're not a serial killer”

““Exactly yn” pleased with your answer.

Throughout the date you two end up talking about how you both know Sakura, laughing over her little quirks, then Shotaro shares that he’s actually a dance choreographer even though it wasn’t exactly something he planned. He loves it though, and you can tell from the way he talks about it that he’s passionate. He mentions how being able to move with the music feels natural to him, you can already sense that he’d be an amazing teacher, the kind who could make you keep going and grow confident even if you had two left feet.

The dinner turned out better than you expected. There were a few moments when you had flashes of Anton, but it didn’t hurt as much. Not with Shotaro around, his silliness had you laughing so hard at one point you snorted, and it was impossible not to get caught up in the moment. It felt good, like you could just forget the longing for a while.

-

The ice cream is cold, your hands are freezing but the taste is worth the pinching feeling on your fingers. Shotaro grins at you while taking a lick of his chocolate flavoured one. 

"Look at us" his voice is light "Ice cream in November, what more could we possibly want?" 

His comment makes you laugh and shake your head "I still don’t get why that ice cream shop is open this late" 

"It’s for people like us yn" 

"I guess we're just that special" 

As you walk you notice how the Seoul sky tower glows its blue lights, a sign that the air quality’s okay for once. Some shops are starting to shut down for the night, their windows darkening, while a small kids’ store nearby is locking up its doors making the last few customers trickling out.

A green dinosaur teddy sat in the window, bright colors too cheerful, meaning to draw kids inside that passes by the store. You had one that looked like that, although yours was blue, not green. Anton would always joke around playfully pretending to be jealous when you’d hug the teddy instead of curling up with him. That Dino had been his gift to you. The reason stemmed from you one day telling him that he reminded you of one, big and strong but gentle. He’d laughed and given you the first one, and then more came after that, before you knew it, you had a whole collection of them beside you when you went to sleep. 

"...how about you?" Shotaro's voice was muffled at first, but breaks through your thoughts. 

You blink, realizing you missed whatever he just said "Oh sorry Shotaro.. I totally zoned out. can you say it again?"

"I was just talking about how nervous I was coming in here, to this date. You know.. since it’s a setup by Sakura and all. But honestly something just pulled me into it and now that I’m here, I don’t regret it at all" He pauses "So I was just wondering.. what made you say yes to this?" 

oh. oh no.. its a good question though.. Why did you say yes to this? was it really to just forget Anton, or was it you trying to move on? your words are tangled in your head, trying to find the right words to say to Shotaro. You don't wanna hurt his feelings, not when he’s been nothing but kind and genuine to you. He didn’t deserve to be compared to someone like Anton, especially not when he was standing there, with ice cream in hand, his scarf casually wrapped around his neck and his cheeks flushed from the night air, and goodness those eyes.. god. So warm and irresistible. It’s hard to keep your focus on anything else when he looks at you like that.

You then clear your throat, trying to push the awkwardness down. "Well... I guess it’s because I needed something different. I’ve been stuck in my head a lot, and Sakura… she said this would be fun. So I thought why not? No expectations, just... a night out" 

“Good to know” 

You thought the topic was fading way, but he keeps going.

“if you don’t mind me asking... what’s the thing that's been stuck in your head?"

I mean.. you don’t have to lie to him. You can just steer clear of the truth. It’s not like he needs to know how your ex dumped you in his car and walked away without a single explanation, leaving you to cry for weeks.

But here you are.

"Probably just trying to figure out how I can eat all this ice cream without getting brain freeze" 

He laughs but you can tell he’s not completely satisfied with your answer. You clear your throat, feeling the last bit of ice cream melt away. okay fuck it, just be honest. 

"Oka.. to be completely honest with you..." You take a breath. 

"My ex and I broke up a couple months ago.. and yeah it hurt. A lot. Sakura being the angel she is thought I needed something to get my mind off things. So here I am… I hope you don’t take this the wrong way though. I really do like you Shotaro. I'm enjoying this night so much" 

You can see that he’s processing your words.

“I’m really sorry to hear that yn... I understand how Sakura is just trying to be a good friend”

You can tell he is being honest, Shotaro woulndt lie, you believe in the goodness of his heart despite knowing him for less than 24 hours. "and yn... don’t ever feel like you need to explain yourself to me. I get it. I’m just glad you felt comfortable enough to tell me" 

He reaches up and slips his scarf off, gently wraps it around your neck. Probably noticing the chill in the air and the ice cream catching up with you. His hands linger for a moment as he  adjust the fabric making sure you're warm enough 

“I like you too, you know? I’m not expecting anything or rushing anything. We can take it slow, whatever feels right for you yn" 

The evening had been light and full of laughs. It was fun, more fun than you expected actually. Walking slowly you hear the soft click from your shoes against the floors. You catch yourself smiling again. Shotaro had been easy to talk to and for the first time in a while you  felt like yourself again. 

-

Rounding the corner towards your door, it felt like someone splashed an ice bucket over your head. There. Standing in front of your apartment door, is the last person you ever expected to see at this moment. Anton.

Mr. Kim was right, Anton had probably stood by your front door that day. His hood is pulled low over his head, casting a shadow over his face, but you can still make out the worn, almost hollow look to him. He looks... awful. Like he hasn’t slept in days, maybe weeks. His skin is pale, his eyes bloodshot, it sends cold shivers down your spine. At this moment your feet are rooted to the floor as your heart starts to race. 

What the hell are you supposed to do now? a part of you wants to turn around and pretend you didn’t see him, just walk back out. On the other hand, you know you’ll regret it if you walk away. After all this time, with all your unanswered questions, the pain of not knowing why he left. Here he is, finally standing right in front of you. 

“Hey yn” 

You stare at him, and all those months of wondering, of feeling like you were crazy for asking if he was okay, rush back in an instant. It’s like all the things you’ve been carrying these past few months are suddenly too heavy to even speak. Anton, who you called and texted several times asking if he was okay, is standing right in front of you as if he hadn't been ghosting you all this time. 

“What are you doing here?” there's a bite to your voice but you can't help it. He hurt you.

“I came to see you”

“See me?” It almost makes you laugh “After everything? I know you have been coming here, but you don't even bother to knock?” There’s a pause. He doesn’t seem to know what to say next.

You know you should hear him out, listen to him and hear what he has to say. But the anger you’ve been holding back for weeks bursts to the surface. 

“You didn’t even care enough to explain, to give me anything and now you just show up like nothing happened?”

"I'm sorry"

“After weeks of nothing, nothing Anton, you show up at my door like we’re old friends. Like do you even get what you did? do you even understand?” 

You stop in front of him, not too far away, but just close enough that if he reached out, his hand could probably touch you.

“Yn…” He starts “I didn’t want to hurt you… but I hurt you anyway” 

“Of course you did. You know what Anton? It was the silence that got to me the most. Not the absence of your voice or your touch, no it was the fact that you didn’t feel like you owed me an explanation. It makes me feel invisible, Anton. Like I didn’t matter enough for you to even say goodbye”

You open your mouth to keep talking, to tell him it’s a little too late to say sorry, but he holds up his hand, a signal for you to let him talk.

"I wasn’t... I wasn’t in a good place yn" he says quietly "I thought if I stepped back, I could figure it out... I’ve been struggling with my thoughts for a while, and I didn’t know how to talk about it. I didn’t want to pull you into all that. I didn’t want to bring you down into my mess” 

He pauses like he’s taking a deep breath, like this is something he’s been carrying with him for so long, and it hurts to finally say it out loud. You can see the way his hands tremble slightly. He’s standing there exposed and you’re left to process it.

“I thought if I just… left, if I ended things, it would be better for you. I thought if I stayed in your life like this, I’d only drag you down and make you feel just as lost as I felt.. I didn’t want to do that to you yn” His voice breaks a little at the end and you see him swallow hard, as his eyes briefly close. You can see it in his face, how much it cost him to admit this, how much it must’ve hurt to let you know what he’s been carrying all this time.

“I get that… I get why you didn’t want to pull me in” you slowly say to him, “but Anton why didn’t you even try to let me in. You just shut me out completely. You can't just walk away and not say anything, not even give me a chance to understand what was happening to you, what you´ve been feeling”

The pain feels sharp all over again. You were always there for him weren’t you? You would’ve been there no matter how messy things got. You would’ve stood by him, ready to help him through whatever came his way. It’s hard not to feel like he underestimated you, like he thought you wouldn’t be strong enough to handle his struggle.

“I just.. I needed to fix myself, to not drag you down with me and I was scared of how you’d react if I told you, scared I’d push you away anyway because of what I was going through” His voice is quieter now, like he's speaking to himself as much as to you “I thought you’d leave me. I thought it would be easier for the both of us if I left first” 

You want to shout that he’s wrong that you would never walk away. It feels like he never gave you the chance to prove that.

“So you thought... leaving me was easier?”

"You thought that would be better for me?" He nods at you, but there's no relief in his expression, just exhaustion.

"I thought I was doing the right thing yn” 

He’s here now, after everything he’s standing in front of you, apologizing to you and finally telling you the truth "You were never supposed to be alone in this Anton"

"I would’ve been there. I would’ve fought for you. I would’ve fought through whatever you were going through. I would’ve stayed, even if it was hard, even if I couldn’t fix it!" your voice trembling "I didn’t need you to be perfect, or be strong. I just needed you to trust me. To let me in.. You were fighting your demons alone and I didnt even know?.. Jesus Im a shit girlfriend!" 

You’ve been holding onto anger and confusion, these twisted emotions that he left you with. But right now they’re tangled up with something more painful than all of it. Regret. You want to wrap your arms around him and hold him, tell him it’s okay. That despite the pain or despite everything, you still love him. That love makes it so hard to hold onto your anger, to let go of the idea that you would have somehow been the one to save him from himself. 

"No no no yn you were not! I wa- I pretended that I was fine, if I let you see how much I was falling apart it would hurt you. I didn’t want you to see me like this, work was killing me, I feel like you deserved better, and I just.. I felt like I wasn't good enough, for you, for anyone”

You can feel the pull of everything you’ve wanted to say, everything you’ve been holding back for so long. It’s like your love for him is clawing its way out, demanding to be heard, even through all the pain.

"Anton.. I want to help you. I want to fight for you, I don’t care about the mess Anton. I’m not giving up on you. I don’t care if it’s hard. I’ll be with you, through whatever comes" 

Anton takes a step towards you. never leaving your gaze as he closes the space between you, then as if he can’t stop himself anymore, he reaches for you and pulls you to him “I don’t deserve you”

His lips are on yours now. The kiss is everything you’ve wanted. Its tentative at first, as if he’s waiting for you to pull away but then you lean into it, melting into his touch and he follows along.

The kiss deepens as you feel the warmth of his body against yours, the way his hands grip you, he’s holding onto something he’s almost lost. You kiss him back with everything you’ve been holding inside.

When you finally pull away, your foreheads rest against each other.

“Im sorry... I’ll try. For you. For us”

Again feel free to comment your thoughts on this fic, it can be silly reactions to constructive feedback -maybe it was too rushed? perhaps you guys wanted less dialogue and more descriptions?

Thank u for reading!! I love you!

[ddorie]

Bear with me

fluff :3

song eunseok x fem!reader

❕️warnings❕️: suggestive, makeout session,

word count!: 500+

(a/n- this fic seeing the daylight after rotting in my drafts pls😭😭)

You straddled Eunseok’s lap, hands curled into the front of his hoodie as his lips moved against yours, slow at first, teasing, before his tongue traced your bottom lip. You gasped softly, and he took the opportunity to deepen the kiss, tilting his head as his fingers dug into your waist. Heat pooled low in your stomach as you melted into him, letting his hands wander up your spine, dragging your oversized shirt with them.

more under the cut!!

But just as his fingers grazed the bare skin beneath, you broke away, panting. "Wait."

Eunseok groaned, head falling back against your pillows. "What now?"

You turned to the shelf beside your bed, where a lineup of stuffed animals sat watching like judgmental spectators. "They can't see this."

He blinked, then looked at you, then at them. "You're joking."

"I'm serious." You started reaching for them, turning their little plush faces away one by one. "I can't—ugh, I just—it's embarrassing!"

Eunseok grabbed one—the biggest offender, a round-eyed teddy bear with a bowtie—and narrowed his eyes. "I swear this thing hates me."

"You hate it first," you shot back, yanking it from his grip and flipping it around. "There. Crisis averted."

"You're insane," he muttered, but the moment you leaned back down, capturing his lips in another kiss, he decided he didn’t care.

This time, there was no hesitation. His hands slid under your shirt, fingers splaying across your bare back as he pulled you impossibly close. The friction between you sent heat licking up your spine, and when his lips trailed down to your jaw, then lower, pressing open-mouthed kisses along your neck, you let out a breathy sigh.

"You sound cute," he murmured against your skin, smirking when you swatted his arm.

His hands roamed lower, settling on your thighs, thumbs rubbing circles into the soft flesh. Your heart pounded as he gripped them, guiding you to shift in his lap. The feeling of him pressed against you made your stomach flip, and you squeezed your eyes shut, biting your lip.

"You’re thinking too much," he whispered, dragging his teeth over your pulse point before soothing the spot with his tongue.

Before you could retort, he kissed you again, harder this time, one hand tangling in your hair while the other slid beneath your thigh, pulling you flush against him. You whimpered, fingers clutching at his hoodie, and he groaned into your mouth, the sound sending a shiver down your spine.

But then your phone buzzed on the nightstand, snapping you out of it. You pulled away, breathless. "I—uh, I need a minute."

Eunseok exhaled heavily, watching as you scrambled off his lap. "You better not be answering that."

"I'm just going to the bathroom!" you called over your shoulder, disappearing behind the door.

The second it clicked shut, Eunseok turned his glare to the stuffed bear.

It sat there, smug. Mocking.

"You think you're so special, huh?" he muttered.

Then, with zero hesitation, he punched the bear right in the face. It flopped onto the floor, lifeless. He smirked.

"Yeah. That's what I thought."

♡