de-personalisation
de-personalisation
free your mind
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your self respect has to be stronger than your feelings. if not, that person will keep on doing what you continue to allow them to do so. you have to come to a realization that your self worth is so much more than that. especially if they’re disrespecting you and your boundaries and/or not reciprocating energy. change without action is manipulation. they heard you the first. second. and third time. it’s time you learn to let go. set the standard for your life. raise the bar. don’t accept the bare minimum just because you’re in a period of loneliness and isolation. that’s the time you should value most. it’s imperative to learn to love yourself. you’ll find growth and contentment in your solitude.
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To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything.
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some people enter your life not to be your friend — but to be you. to learn your traits, your likes and dislikes, study your mechanisms and personality, and then attempt to become a copy of you. that’s why you have to be mindful of who you connect with and who you allow into your personal energy — everyone isn’t meant to be your friend, and that’s perfectly fine. be more protective and intentional with your presence, and what you share so loosely with others. but most importantly be selective.some people love to see you in survival mode; they love to know that their situation is better than yours, or that your life isn’t perfect. that’s why you have to be mindful who you confide in; some people are happy you have problems — it’s their only joy and fuel in this life. the only way they can feel accomplished or satisfied with their own lives is watching the temporary downfall of yours. some people only form of joy is the misery or sadness of other people because they rather see someone else’s pain beside their own just to feel good. so remain instilled in your silence.
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i like the concept of soulmates—not a “you’re destined to meet me, and love me” kind of soulmate, but a “i’d pick you, every time” kind of soulmate. a “no matter what happens, and what has happened, i want to go through it with you” kind of soulmate. a “i love you by choice, and you’re a blessing, and i’m going to continue thinking about you this way not because i have to but because i want to” kind of soulmate. a “you help me rest easy when everything is difficult” kind of soulmate. a “in every possible outcome, i want you there, to share it with me” kind of soulmate.
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Joseph Mallord William Turner, The Breaking Wave, around 1832
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i’ve dreamt away half of my life and i think i’m gonna dream away the rest half but i don’t think that’s what i want. i think maybe i wanna know how being alive feels like.how it feels to be real and not a wishy-washy dream.And then the the summer ended. Day by day, and taking its time, the summer ended. The noises in the street began to change, diminish, voices became fewer, the music sparse. Daily, blocks and blocks of children were spirited away. Grownups retreated from the streets, into their houses. Such trees as there were allowed their leaves to fall – they fell unnoticed – seeming to promise, not without bitterness, to endure another year. At night, from a distance, the parks and playgrounds seemed inhabited by fireflies, and the night came sooner, inched in closer, fell with a greater weight. The sound of the alarm clock conquered the sound of the tambourine, the houses put on their winter faces. The houses stared down a bitter landscape, seeming, not without bitterness, to have resolved to endure another year.
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