deacruor - Tumblr blog

[deacruor]

[ groom ] / listen i'm obligated

 it starts with a knife to the throat , as it always does . though you want something different now — to taste something other than gravel and the broken teeth in your mouth . but violence has an unmissable flavour , one that coats the tongue in thick , oil splotches and invades every groove , every scar shaping the inner side of your cheek . it refuses exile , only burrows further into the space between the door and its frame like a termite , so you continue to dig your teeth into the flesh of your mouth in hopes of crushing it before it can breed . the action itself is anxious but disciplined . it’s much better than biting your nails . this is a secret between yourself and the grave of your body . 

but now , it is hers too . everything is . this body is an altar for her and is no longer your own , no longer a sanctuary for thoughts all too vile for freedom’s gentle embrace . if he were to be frank with himself , he may even grow fond of this change over time . there is no need to run anymore . there is no longer a knife at his throat ( but this feeling cuts all the same , bites into the flesh side of his neck with teeth made of desire for something too foreign to have a name , too new to be christened anything but a quiet draw of breath when she comes too close , so close he can taste the perfume she is wearing , each hurried breath a starling bird falling to freedom ) . this is new and like all the new things are , it’s overwhelming . it aches and it clots in his blood in words untranslatable to human tongue and he , more often than not , finds himself stuck ‘tween wanting to take her hand into his or to simply drain this capricious brain of his through the eyes , ears and nostrils . gruesome ? yes . painful ? probably . effective ? absolutely .

    — —    but not right now .

‘ you’re fussin’ again . ‘ and he is basking in the attention . the sun spills through the gaps in velvet drapes in golden streams , pools at her feet as if her most loyal servant and he notes ( idly , through half - lidded eyes ) if she were to step into its centre — ah , but these hands at his neck are too distracting , rob him of every thought that does not serve as a reminder of how radiant she is . and that just won’t do . ‘ hey , hey , ‘ it’s spoken soft , softer than he had originally intended it to be ( focus , reno . ) while calloused hands ( scarred , knife - marked , born to choke , made to bleed — ) take hold of hers , gently , gently . ‘ if you adjust this thing ‘round my neck one more time , ya might as well just choke me with it , princess . ‘t least then i won’t have to suffer through yet another gathering of — – ‘ 

             ( — witches / cretins / councilmen / commoners / well - wishers /                                                                          your dearest idiot brother and his idiot men — )

‘ — – you get the gist . ‘ but this is not about him , never has been . ‘ listen . ‘ with her hands still gently held inside his own , a smile carves its way into his cheeks , brilliant and full of teeth ( the devil only smiles before slaughter — but petty mischief would just have to do , for now . ) ‘ let’s get out of here , it’s boring . i know you’re bored . i know i’m bored , so c’mon . they won’t miss you if you’re only gone for an hour of two , ‘ or five , or ten , ‘ and in the meantime we can do somethin’ actually worthwhile . ‘ / @deacruor

[deacruor]

( ˶˘ ³˘(⋆❛ ہ ❛⋆)!♡ moon mom has to. it is law

hey uh–kiss sora on the cheek? | @deacruor

               cheeks red as the rose. an eye clamped shut due to the kind endeavor place ‘pon his freckled cheek, though, a boy not so tentative about kinds acts of affection when offered to him. once askew lips, turn upward into a bright, beaming smile that rendered the brightest suns, dull. albeit, the pink of his soft cheeks remained. perhaps, in hindsight, it made him appear younger than he actually is. unsure of what he has done to deserve this gentle act of affection, was it because he helped her, in some way? or was it because he bared a heart of a true hero? a boy so selfless && altruistic, that even gods themselves showed him some form of respect. he offers a bit of a laugh, exuberant it was, but soft. whatever it may be, he appreciates it.

                 “ gee, “ a hand went to his nape to comfort it, “ I’m not sure what I did to deserve a cheek kiss, miss luna..freya, “ uncertain whether to refer to her by full name or not. he did not want to disrespect her in any regard. “ but it was uh..nice of you to do so! “

[deacruor]

Tagged by:  @shouigunjin  ,  @wintersired  ,  @kissafist Tagging:  UH !!!

PLACE IN SOCIETY

♦ Financial : wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty / n/a . ♦ Medical : fit / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged . ♦ Class or Caste : upper / middle / working / slave / unsure . ♦ Education : qualified / unqualified / studying . ♦ Criminal Record : yes / yes, for minor crimes  / no / has aided / committed crimes but not caught yet 

FAMILY

♦ Marital status : married — happily / married — unhappily / engaged or betrothed / partnered (  verse dependent  ) / single / divorced / separated / widowed or widower . ♦ Children : has a child or children / has no children  / wants children / had a child . ♦ Relationship with Family : close with (some) siblings (  with stella it’s excellent !! although the relationship with her brother is absolutely complicated and weary  ) / not close with sibling(s) / has no siblings / sibling is deceased / parents deceased. ♦ Affiliation : orphaned / adopted / disowned / raised by birth parent(s) ( to a degree i believe the queen had some saying in ) / raised by others [ servants / nurses / maids / nanny ] .

TRAITS + TENDENCIES

♦ extroverted / introverted / in between . ♦ disorganized / organized / in between . ♦ close minded / open-minded / in between . ♦ calm / anxious / in between . ♦ disagreeable / agreeable / in between . ♦ cautious / reckless / in between . ♦ patient / impatient / in between . ♦ outspoken / reserved / in between . ♦ leader / follower / in between . ♦ empathetic / apathetic / in between . ♦ optimistic / pessimistic / in between . ♦ traditional / modern / in between . ♦ hard-working / lazy / in between . ♦ cultured / uncultured / in between . ♦ loyal / disloyal / unknown . ♦ faithful / unfaithful / unknown / depends on the person .

BELIEFS

♦ Faith : monotheist / polytheist / atheist / agnostic / nontheistic / shinto. ♦ Belief in Ghosts or Spirits : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care. ♦ Belief in an Afterlife : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care. ♦ Belief in Reincarnation : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care. ♦ Belief in Aliens : yes / no / don’t know / don’t care. ♦ Philosophical : yes / no.

SEXUALITY & ROMANTIC INCLINATION

♦ Sexuality : heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual / demisexual. ♦ Sex : sex repulsed / sex neutral / sex favorable . ♦ Romance : romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favorable . ♦ Sexually : adventurous / experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious . ♦ Potential Sexual Partners : male / female / agender / other / none / all . ♦ Potential Romantic Partners : male / female / agender / other / none / all .

ABILITIES

♦ Combat Skills : excellent / good / moderate / poor / none . ♦ Literacy Skills : excellent / good / moderate / poor / none . ♦ Artistic Skills : excellent / good / moderate / poor / none . ♦ Technical Skills : excellent / good / moderate / poor / none . ♦ Medical Skills : excellent / proficient / good / moderate / poor / none .

HABITS

♦ Drinking Alcohol : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess / rarely . ♦ Smoking : trying to quit / never / sometimes / frequently / to excess . ♦ Other Narcotics : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess . ♦ Medicinal Drugs : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess . ♦ Indulgent Food : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess . ♦ Splurge Spending : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess . ♦ Gambling : never / sometimes / frequently / to excess .

[deacruor]

The end is nearing. A new sun will rise. This body; This exhausted corpse, made of silvered, scarred skin and pale, broken bones, will disappear like a phantom. There will be no body to bury. No remnants left behind. No grave with a name, to leave your winter roses.

Lillith Regina, “Beginning of The End” (via: poetic-sanctum)

[deacruor]

" Missy, I will pick you up and carry you to bed if you dont sit down and rest. I haven't done that since you were a child but I'll do it again. "

 & she avowed, mind would she not to forget the existing sacrifice-pile, skip backwards to a childishness (  never had  ) clouded by a barrier of obligation ; a childishness she hardly beheld.  the innocence / the less weary shoulders / the less stiffened fibers, hands, legs / a still loose noose around the neck;  a pure, untainted fluid in her veins, still flaxen, and rich enough when she was young / younger than memory served.  yet untouched  / yet not marred  /  yet not worn out  /  unburned.  by controversial recollection of  peace-tombs, she was four years old again: remembered the accents wrapped around caring syllables,  accents that hummed in her ears ever since tympanums could unscramble stellar language at her first taken breath.   she was eight years old again: at noon hast thou carried that restless girl, learning, devoted, obsessed with prophetic lessons, and lay didst thou her ‘neath warm blankets, to shield her from blood-sealed destinations.  t’was associated with a safer time, with a tranquil time ; a beautiful illusion that ignored a rotten future.    she was twelve years old again:  and the bitter scent of unsweetened tea accompanied conversations, drenched in humble nothings & the silent murder-songs of a child who died at twelve o’clock in her regal pyre, and hath risen as a shrine maiden, (  in-human, non-woman, aloft, ascended, spiritualized  ) in a desecrated chapel, when she ripened to sixteen. alas, moon shan’t star-gaze back to a delicate age, only advance in this merciless progression, unending orbiting ; such was her quest.  yet, she did not unlearn small GAMES the dead girl, half of her maturity, used to play ; with ruthless sarcasm in counter and a playground so vast in her head.  there was the undead one sleeping, the specter glistening with dawn-ichor, leaving the sombre hours behind.  she was twenty-four in this good midnight, and she laughed , and laughed , and laughed,  both feigned and true :  “ oh dear; what a threat this is.  please, have mercy on me, will you? ” 

  “ that is, if you can catch me ! “   /    @catncore

[deacruor]

 (   SOME PARTINGS ILLUSTRATED BRUISES, and did not heal   /  idly settling, continuously closing only to unclasp with a single jolt.    )   how come we re-found ourselves in wasted lands,  dead lands, hope-lost lands, one life at a time ?   met in a country haunted by the last breath of a basal woe & washed foot prints of wanderings, never-done & yet to overcome, although somberly summoned into instincts.  an infertile , tan ground still soaked in the testimony of misery, left it un-bloomed, this lucian domain, beyond the broken walls of its crown city.     call it a requiem for those that basked in an existence consisting of a vague return. paradises were not our terrain to be part of, so it appeared, albeit star-crossed kingdoms stirred more acquaintance, than the spring-green wherein home lay far between an unforgiving tide and wintry sights.   tattered & ragged ,  she stepped onward with the ruin of last night’s trauma on her cratered back  (  or rather :  that which ate itself into dna strings, parasitic.  our primeval tragedies were passed down equal to a cancer gene.  the trauma --- as mighty zeus / the father-figure of thy trinity said --- shall be a long-term predisposition for the reincarnated brood of salvation.   )    at insomia's burial, taking its long overdue & final rest ‘neath disaster-flooded buildings and streets,  her laughter-starved mouth yearned to sigh aloud.  but all of yesterday’s debris and the haste of vehicles would, transitory , cease to be --- as her tired eye caught thee, like a greyscale photograph, timelessly at sleep-less gates, to connect these circle-ends, coated in anxieties and dark-bedded fantasies.

  ah, endymion, darling mine / sweet sleeper, king of night ; thou should’st not have been here.  here ; at her weary point-of-no-return  /  here ; where life-extraction and the purification began, and olympians claimed every part of her, for their hallow plan. and with her it shan’t desist.  yet again ; yet again.  oh, what’s in a called name?  “ noc--- tis? ”   or a corrected title?    “ --- your highness, should you not be far ahead already? ought we not meet overseas, where the aquatic goddess waits? ”   or in an underlying one?  (  oldest friend,  almost-lover, moon-beholder, somnus  )    //  @ilmortale

[deacruor]

pavane for a dead princess >> maurice ravel

[deacruor]

I, the half-mad mourner of buried days,

Anna Akhmatova, from In Memory of Mikhail Bulgakov (A.S. Kline)

[deacruor]

(Charles Courtney Curran),1861-1942

[deacruor]

SELF - KNOWLEDGE QUESTIONNAIRE.

RATIONALITY

You like clarity and intelligent simplicity and you get frustrated at messy thinking. This can make you seem unreasonably pushy to some, but it is actually a virtue: you are motivated by a horror at pointless effort and a longing for precision and insight into how things and people work. Your ability to synthesize and bring ‘order’ is essential in producing thinking which is truly helpful.

SHYNESS

Part of you is gripped by the fear that you’ll launch into something and completely mess it up. The upside of this is wise caution: people are indeed often too rash, whereas you know, by instinct, that holding back can save you. Probably, you feel shame and self-disgust a bit too much. But when you do feel in your element, you act with a wisdom and sensitivity never found in people with thicker skins.

RESILIENCE

You have a tendency, after a setback, to turn your emotions towards restriving. What attracts you is the idea of wiping out a humiliation by resumed action – overcoming weakness, repressing your fear. Because part of your motive is pride, you can sometimes be unwilling to admit weakness or to receive aid. But at heart, tour insistence on coming back and never folding has taught you a valuable pessimism: you know that important journeys are never easy.

tagged by:  @fadeglory​ & @vynua​  !! tagging:  you see this you are tagged

[deacruor]

take this test for your muse and post your results, tag as many as you’d like !!

tagged by: @fadeglory  & @ilmortale !!  tagging:  everyone

Warmth  ||||||||||||||||||||| 70% (  supportive / comforting  ) Intellect  ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||  90% (  cerebral / analytical  ) Emotional Stability ||||||||||||||||||||| 66% (  calm  ) Aggressiveness ||||||||||||||| 50%  (  modest , docile &  tough   ) Liveliness ||||||||||||||| 50%  (  somber /  restrained &  wild  / fun loving  ) Dutifulness ||||||||||||||||||||| 66% (  traditional  ) Social Assertiveness |||||||||||| 38% ( withdrawn ) Sensitivity ||||||||||||||| 42%  (  coarse, tough. hm  ) Paranoia  |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74%  (  wary, suspicious  ) Abstractness ||||||||||||||||||||| 70% ( strange , imaginative ) Introversion  |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82% (  private , quiet  ) Anxiety  ||||||||||||||| 50%  (  self-assured but fearful ?  ) Openmindness |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82%  (  curious, exploratory  ) Independence  ||||||||||||||||||||| 70%  (  loner  ) Perfectionism  ||||||||||||||||||||| 66%  (  orderly, thorough  ) Tension ||||||||||||||| 50% (  relaxed / cool  &  stressed / unsatisfied  )

[deacruor]

「 Lunafreya Nox Fleuret in Kingsglaive 」

[deacruor]

I feel numb I feel numb in this kingdom

[deacruor]

STELLAUX

☆ .*･｡ﾟ  sc   »  @deacruor​

hellenistic  tragedy  condemns  their  faith  ——  two  sisters  born  alike  in  constellation,  where  holy  blood  bleeds  across  the  horizon  of  twilight’s  azure.  ignorant  and  naive  of  the  ancient  myth  foretelling  their  cursed  existence,  they  lived  together  in  harmony  before  the  lands  of  their  birth  became  consumed  by  the  devil’s  hellfire.  the  balance  was  shattered,  and  a  plague  of  humanity  was  unknowingly  unleashed.  the  star  lives  on  mirroring  the  fragile  glow  of  the  iridescent  moon.  her  memories  are  fragile,  yet  the  bond  shared  between  them  remains  as  unconditional  as  ever.  heart  beats  in  slumber,  she  remains  blinded  by  the  corruption  that  was  already  thrust  upon  them.  ❝  you’re  loosing  your  color,  dear  sister.  are  you  ill  ?  ❞

  the spine twitched.  (  beware the crack  )   marrow & calcium twisting and snarling, triggered by our flinching ghosts ; shaken by the waver of inborn cataclysm.  it crept into the cells, that one weathered truth ; yet was it caged behind the bars of her teeth.  lo darling sister: when the looking-glass of stories was turned, and carbon flickered alight with scarlet taint, initially holding her brittle thoughts together --- t’was then, that sanity flaked off her eyes, and skin, to the painting of mona lisa akin.   lo darling sister: t’was then, when she perceived how strange and odd, odd, odd the fact to be of living, mortal flesh was.  and how insidious the desire to scratch it from her wispy bones.  taken back to a primal fury hath the prophetess been ; by almost-death, by almost-loss.  how hideous the lie to come across, how uncertain the reality made of this revery, to be held captive by : a gentle falseness, a comatose destiny.  (  please, oh please, eat up every inch of her CALAMITY  )   “ ah, am i ?  “  sister-love of selene echoed, deep / deeper within the heart eclipsed by tar.                              (  &  art thou my dearest eos? art thou my STAR ?  )    “ some restless nights must be blamed for that, i believe.  but do not worry. “   we shall no longer be damned or sorry.    “ i feel perfectly fine. ”  (  now that she knew, to not condone this ignorant peace in lieu of relieved wrists ; mere means to tether bindings and lock two grails of astral-boiling blood into an imprisoning space. where the ruin waited for its birth, and the woman, clothed with the sun & with stars in heir hair, prepared to have the stained moon beneath her feet. )  she fed herself the long-lasting red of the light until she was veiled by its colors, eager to walk o’er the wasted temples of the world with thee in her arms. 

[deacruor]

❛ some people are born with a piece of night inside, and that hollow place can never be filled. ❜

“ such a dour,  dreary sentiment,  “  amusement weighs ‘pon his voice,  warm and lilting like the flicker of a flame.   such a human sentiment,  he thinks,  but does not say.  with the passing of time ( days, weeks, months, decades, eons ), confined to these mortal shells as they have been,  new memories mingling with old,  he too finds it more and more difficult to simply let go of who he was to remember who he is.  would that he could free them from these constraints,  this primitive and fleshy prison,  turn their back on this world and return to the sky.  

but lo’ it takes but one look ‘pon her fair features to remind why he chose this path: the sweetness of her smile and the soft gleam of her eyes, the kindness of her touch to warn what he could lose were he to renounce this mortal body. no matter the endless drudgery of lifetimes that pass ‘fore their reunion, the oblivion coupled with it,  the cruelly short span of the time they do have compared to the eternities already lived, it is worth it to see the recognition and adoration in her eyes when memory returns. it is worth it to remember his own love for her: luna,  nechbet,  sin,  utukku,  selene;  his sister, his softer half, his kinder side. it is worth being able to walk the same ground, to stand in her company, to bask in her ethereal glow and take it for the privilege he’s been granted;  one that would never have been, had they remained as they had been.

a smile glides over his features growing in radiance like the rising sun over the cusp of mountains—– where axel ceases to exist, helios begins, filling skin to the brim almost fit to burst. 

“ but surely you do not believe it to be your lot, αδελφή? you, who has taught me more than anyone the beauty night can hold,  who has spoken to me,  frequently,  vividly,  about the brilliance of the stars so i may love them without ever having seen them?  you,  who shines most brilliant of them all?  surely not, “ his hand lifts to cup her cheek,  thumb tracing the swell of bone before his lips find her skin,  pressing a soft kiss to her brow. here,  in this moment,  short as it may be,  he has found himself home again.  “ if anything you are the piece that fills the hollow. “

[deacruor]

{♦}

[deacruor]

“I am the echo of a tattered book – my spine is cracked with age and my pages are no longer caressed. I am a reminder of so many words lost to another time.”

— sarcolinedream