deadflowerblossom-83

[deadflowerblossom-83]

sorry bestie I can’t talk rn I’m busy consuming media that will put me in a worse mental state on purpose 🙄

[deadflowerblossom-83]

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guys like ass, thighs and tits.

you know what they like even more? skinny little girlfriends that drown in their clothes. they like being able to pick you up all the time because you ‘weigh nothing����’. they crave the feeling of being able to protect your fragile tiny self from harm.

put down the food and go drink some water. soon enough you’ll be every guys wet dream.

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[deadflowerblossom-83]

In a limbo of I’ll never be sick enough and I’ll never be able to get better

[deadflowerblossom-83]

Anyone else feel like they’re never gonna make it to your UGW?

Small rant :

But I’ve been struggling with an ED for YEARS, I can’t remember the last time I felt happy with my body. But I have yet to drop to a low/underweight anything, I’ve always been within the same 20lbs. I feel like I’m losing my mind?

I’ve tried for so many years and I’m starting to feel like there is no hope for me…

I’m just gonna be stuck in a constant binge/restrict cycle

Ok rant over, thanks for reading if you did

[deadflowerblossom-83]

bakers miller pink is used by victoria’s secret models to suppress appetite!!! here y’all go!

#FF91AF the hex code if y’all wanna use it, i might change my blog color to it tho

[deadflowerblossom-83]

[deadflowerblossom-83]

i’ve gotten so bold recently scrolling through ed tumblr in public like it’s the newspaper

[deadflowerblossom-83]

*opens tumblr app*

*reblogs 17 posts within 5 minutes*

*shitposts*

*fucks off into the abyss for 3 months*

rinse and repeat

[deadflowerblossom-83]

one of the worst things about eds is the constant inner conflict between the rational and the irrational part of your mind.

i want people to notice that i'm unwell, but at the same time i don't want people to bother me. i want to be free, but at the same time i don't want to let my ed go. i feel like i need to be hospitalized to prove that my ed is serious, but at the same time i don't want to end up in hospital. i want to reach my ugw, but i know that if i do reach it, i'll be forced to gain all the weight back so there's no point in doing so.

living with an eating disorder means living with a constant war in your mind, this shit is exhausting as fuck.

[deadflowerblossom-83]

◎「my current diet plan」◎

(this is not 4 any1 2 follow, just so i can stay accountable)

goal; in 5 months lose 40lbs

rules;

+avoid sugar and carbs

+eat half of everything i didn’t proportion

+always keep limit from 900-1200 cals

+only water and coffee

+try to workout every day

+no binging

+meal log every night

+remember this could be me;

[deadflowerblossom-83]

I almost didn’t eat for the whole week because I wanna be a skinny bitch. Nerves, coffee, and cigarettes are my best friends now.

[deadflowerblossom-83]

My 160 calorie breakfast 🥞🍓

1/4 cup flour-110

Splash of vanilla-0

1/4 t salt-0

1/4t baking soda-0

3 T egg whites-25

As much sweeter as you like-0

Cinnamon-0

TOPPINGS

1 diced strawberry-4

3T lite reddi whip-15

2T sugar free maple syrup-5

Combine ingredients and spray skillet with 0 cal spray, and use a TABLESPOON TO MESURE THE PANCAKES. TOP WITH TOPPINGS ANS YAY!

[deadflowerblossom-83]

why is it that i think everyone is beautiful except me?

[deadflowerblossom-83]

i love imagining myself dead, laying on the floor, skinny, my body looks so pale and pretty, my bones are showing

[deadflowerblossom-83]

having to lose weight you’ve already lost is so mentally exhausting and it’s not spoken about enough

[deadflowerblossom-83]