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dont take bird noises for granted

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i don’t think people understand how much of life is grief. not just people dying, but losing the version of yourself you thought you’d become. grieving the city you had to leave. the friends you lost not in argument, but in silence. the summer that will never come back. the feeling that maybe you peaked at 12 when you were reading books under the covers and believing in forever

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Nishino Yoichi 西野陽一 (1954 - )

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Mazelle Spring 2023 backstage

Ph. Victor Edeh

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fr. “Being Happy” by Dana Gioia

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okay i lied put your clothes back on we're not having sex i'm fundamentally evil and i need you to kill me

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Gold Seashell Ring // DionneReve

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TAKESHI KANESHIRO Chungking Express, 1994

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i need to read more academic articles to make my yaoi more insane

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tumblr has been the most consistent thing in my life since i was like 14

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When I was 19-21 years old living on the streets in california the people who cared for me the most were never the people who could care for me comfortably. It was never the channels that were intended to or designed to help me. Not my dad or my local government or anyone with the authority to make things happen. It was my friend's stoner mom who got by on community aid who made me the best damn lentil soup ill ever have (no really that ruined the dish for me nothing has ever come close to that soup) and let me sleep on her floor. It was my ex who hated my guts but still set me up with toiletries when i needed them. It was the father of a classmate who met me by coincidence one time in a park and brought me home to share taco night together. It was the barista who got in trouble for giving me free coffee. It was the other homeless person who I shared some candy with who gave me his blanket. It was the randos at the bar who brought me to get stitches one night. The have-nots have always had more to give than people who believe themselves in a position of power. You can pick any one ivy league graduate and they will have a sob story for you. They will have excuses for why they don't care. They're scared and gormless and it'll take a hell of a lot to make me care about them. I guess what I'm trying to say is that as much as everything sucks and we're all fucked over every day, nothing can ever impede your own actions more than the feeling that you cannot make an impact. The initiative needed to make the world a better place lurks in everyone, it's your responsibility to nourish it. Volunteer somewhere, talk to someone on a bad day, give people the time of day to explain themselves. When you can, reach out to help someone. And when you can't, don't ignore them. Be kind to your friends and neighbors. It's literally always been and will always be about community. I love every one of you truly.

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I forgive it all as it comes back to me