deadsy-doodle-blog

[deadsy-doodle-blog]

Grim’s ear flicked to the sound of shattering glass in Orion’s apartment, followed by an angry exclamation of “FUCK!” He got up and went into the kitchen, noticing glass shards and water on the floor, as Orion still stood holding the neck of a bong and Morty was backing away from his raised leg with a needle taped to a pen and a bottle of india ink, he was covered in dirty bong water and glared up at Orion.

               “I told you not to hold it while I’m doing this.” Morty said taking his hat from his head and shaking water out.

               “You said, ‘here hold this.’ And they you fucking stuck a needle into my skin.” Orion exclaimed.

               “you’re fucking drunk.” Morty argued, going after him with the needle again

               “You’re fucking high.” Orion said backing away, holding the sharp end of the bong neck to him.

               “I’m both, let’s do this.” Grim smiled. Morty looked over to him with a wide grin. 

               “Grimmy’s here!” Morty said gleefully as Orion started to lower his guard and backed away slowly. Grim took his shirt off and pulled a chair up to the counter. Morty did the same and looked intently at his friend. “What would you like, buddy?” he asked through dirty glasses.

               “tit tat. Surprise me. Don’t go too big though. Two inches max.” Grim said gesturing to his chest, just above his rib.

               “You’re getting a dick.” Morty laughed.

               “Two inch dick. Yeah you should know what that looks like.” Grim said in a snicker. Morty scowled up at him and prodded him with the needle. Grim flinched and his brows winced down. Orion’s roommate came home from work a few minutes into the stick and poke session and observed the first two letters on Grim’s chest. He laughed and left the room briefly returning with a bottle of rubbing alcohol and some paper towels. He handed them to Morty as he started to make a ‘K’

               “Oh shit.” Orion’s roommate giggled again.

               “What?” Grim asked, looking up, twisting, trying to see what Morty was doing.

               “He spelled it wrong.” He grinned up at him. Morty shook his head.

               “Shit. I forgot the ‘C’. Oh well.” He said as he finished the line of the K and then dabbed Grim with the rubbing alcohol. Grim jumped at the sting and bit his lip.

               “What does it say?” he asked.

               “I was trying to be clever and titty fuck you.” Morty said as he pushed back and waited for Grim to follow him to the bathroom to look in the mirror. Grim looked at his reflection at the letters “F U K” Grim laughed heartily.

               “dumbass!” He exclaimed. Morty smiled and looked at Grim’s chest, bleeding slightly.

               “That’s probably gonna get infected as fuck.” He said rubbing his eyebrow briefly.

               “You cleaned the needle right?” Grim asked, looking at him.

               “Yeah, but it’s still like, done in a kitchen.” Morty smiled.

               “Well, as long as you didn’t poke me 300 times with a used heroin needle I’ll be fine dealing with it.” Grim laughed.

               “The worst that happens is you die of AIDs, right?”

               “Oh this just reminded me…” Grim said letting his mind trail off as he left the room. He went up to Orion and grabbed onto his shoulder, leaning into him.

               “Where did you get your piercings done?” he asked, looking up to his older friend. Orion rolled his eyes up in thought.

               “These three are from Black Moon. They’re the best.” He said briefly touching his jewelry. Grim nodded his head.

               “Oasis wants her belly button pierced for her birthday.” He said in a smile.

               “Would you wipe that dumbass grin off your face when you talk about her?” Orion smiled.

               “I can’t help it, I honestly fucking love her.” Grim laughed, scrubbing the back of his neck. Orion shook his head in a laugh.

               “Fuck you’re gonna start singing love songs next.” Orion chuckled. Grim shook his head laughing, rolling his eyes. Grim looked up at the clock on the wall, it was rounding 9:00.

               “I need to sober up a little.” He said passing his bottle to Orion to finish. Orion took a swig of the beer as Grim lounged back in the couch, watching Morty tattoo his own legs. Morty sat criss cross hunched over, staring intently as the needle poked in and out of his flesh. Grim turned his eyes to the television, laughing at a comedic part in one of Orion’s favorite movies.

                 About two hours later Grim headed for home, his chest stinging a bit where his new tattoo was. He casually walked into his grandmother’s home and greeted her as she was putting dishes away. He grabbed some of the odds and ends that she couldn’t quite move well enough to put away and stowed them away in their homes. She smiled at him and thanked him for his help before sitting down at the counter and turning to a page in her book. Grim let out a sigh and tossed his keys out of his jacket onto the counter and leaned against the counter, biting his nails in thought.

               “What’s the matter chamacco?” his grandmother asked as he started into space, clicking a thumbnail against his teeth. His eyes shifted to her.

               “Nothing. Just thinking.” He said as she looked up at him from her book.

               “about?” she asked, marking her spot before closing her book to lean on her hand listening to him.

               “A little bit of everything.” He sighed. “I need to figure out what to do for me and Oasis after we graduate.” He said pinching his brow. “where to work, where to live, all that shit.”

               “What to name your babies.” His grandmother smirked, watching his reaction. His brows scrunched down and he let out of breath of a snicker before rolling his eyes.

               “That’s not happening.” He said looking into her deep brown eyes.

               “We’ll see.” She chuckled. Grim shook his head laughing at the thought of himself bringing a child into the world, god forbid.

               “have you been drinking?” Grim joked with her, playfully nudging her arm before saying goodnight and heading up to his room. He started to write down a few notes for some song ideas before laying down in bed stripped down to his underwear. He snuggled into the sheets and burrowed into his pillow, trying to suffocate his mind with sleep.

[deadsy-doodle-blog]

PUNK ROCK RUINED MY LIFE

SECTION NINETEEN

       The bell rang for class, Oasis sat looking for Grim. He was usually on time for biology since they shared it and sat next to each other. After about ten minutes Grim ambled in, red eyes and toting a drink and a brown paper bag. He reached into the fast food bag and handed a medium fry to their biology teacher who took it wordlessly and sat it aside at his desk. Grim slumped over to his desk and sat down, shoving the bag and his drink into his backpack. Oasis leaned to him and told him what page number they were on, smelling the reeking skunky stench of marijuana on him. He blinked his eyes hard and stared at her for a moment.

         “...what?” he asked in a long pause. She rolled her eyes at him and dug his textbook out of his backpack for him. She flipped to the page they were on. Grim stifled his laughter as best he could.

         “There is going to be a quiz at the end of class, so I suggest you take ten minutes to study.” The teacher said slowly returning to his desk and starting to eat the fries that Grim had brought him. Oasis returned to her reading, noticing Grim spinning a pen between his fingers, staring into space out of the corner of her eye. She glanced at him.

         “Grim.” She whispered sternly. He looked over at her with the pen rested on his upper lip. It fell when he grinned at her, her face stern and unamused. “If you fail one more class you can’t graduate, numb nuts.” She said in a glare at him as he continued to play with his pen, balancing it on the bridge of his muzzle and attempting to spin it. He let out of huff of air and a laugh. She grabbed the pen from him and broke it in half, Grim smiled, stifling a burst of laughter, shaking his head. He finally turned his eyes to his text book.

         After a few minutes, she noticed him seeming to be intent and dissolved in the reading. She watched his eyebrows scowl down, his eyes moving with the words.

               “Oasis. This book is in English right?” he whispered. She looked up at him in confusion. “I’m so high I can’t read.” He added, looking closer at the sentences, trying to make out what they said. He looked at the pictures in the text book, trying to figure out what he was trying to read about. He blinked his red eyes a few times trying to focus. Their teacher’s voice announced for them to put their textbooks away. “Fuck.” Grim muttered under his breath. He slid his book off the desk into his hand and letting it hit the floor with a loud thud.

               The young mare infront of him passed back a sheet of paper with quiz questions. He looked at Oasis.

               “Can I have a new pen?” he asked. She dug into her bag and gave him a pink pen. He smiled at it then back at her.

               “Grim. Eyes on your page. The quiz starts now. You have twenty minutes.” the teacher’s voice boomed over him. He turned his head back to his own page, staring at the words that kind of fuzzed out of his focus. He could see the word but just couldn’t comprehend what it said. He managed to scrawl his name at the top and the date. He sat for a while staring at the words on the page. Finally able to make out a few of his words and give some kind of answer.

                 After class, the quizzes were passed in. Oasis kept her hand on Grim’s shoulder as they walked out. Guiding him with frustration.

               “How did you do?” she asked in the hall as they headed for the lunch room. He dug into his backpack and pushed the fast food bag to her. He opened his drink and took a chug.

               “Oh shitty, so shitty.” He laughed. “I was finally able to figure out what I was doing around the end, but most of the time I was drawing, and I think one of my answers was ‘sexy cells’.” He said looking at her.

               “You’re going to be in deep shit if you pull that again before class. You were a mess.” She said to him, she dug into the fast food bag and pulled out two burritos, handing him one and leaving their shared fry in the bag for the time being as they walked to the cafeteria.

               “It’s fine. It was one quiz.” He said unwrapping his burrito.

               “They make up 60% of our grade.” Oasis said as he reached into the bag for hot sauce. He ripped the packet open and squirted a little into his mouth.

               “I’m failing math too, so I don’t really know why you’re telling me percentages.” He shrugged.

               “More than half!” she exclaimed as they sat down at the table with her little brother. He waved to his older sister as he was taking sips from his drink.

               “It’s fine.” Grim said rolling his eyes. “how’s it hanging, Shoal?” he asked the palomino. He shrugged his shoulders. “The next time we go out for lunch do you wanna come? So you’re not stuck with this shit?” Grim asked eyeing his tray. The cafeteria lunch was unappealing as usual. Shoal nodded his head.

               “Do we just meet by your car?” he asked Oasis. She nodded her head. “Oh, can I ride home with you today too?” he asked. She looked at Grim for a moment.

               “Me and Grimmy were going to hang out for a little while. He has some band practice after school. You could come with?” she asked. Shoal’s eyes fell for a minute.

               “Come on, you need a life.” Grim said pushing on his skinny shoulders.

               “I guess I can.” He said feeling a little uncomfortable.

               “Awww, baby brother is going to hang out with us!” Oasis smiled at him.

             After school let out Grim and Shoal waited for Oasis by her car. She finally showed up and unlocked the doors to let them in. Shoal sprawled out in the backseat, holding onto Grim’s guitar as the car moved through town. Oasis changed Grim’s music to the radio, playing a mainstream music station. Grim groaned and banged the back of his head into the headrest. He started growling the lyrics over the music, grunting them out gruffly and off pitch.

         “Stop!” Oasis laughed, pushing him in the seat as he mocked her music. “Grim!” she laughed again, turning her music up over him.

        “ Keep spending most our lives livin' in a gangsta's paradise!! ” he screeched, Shoal covered his ears in the back. Grim turned the radio off and laughed at their expressions. “I only know that shitty song because you listen to it.” Grim laughed as Oasis held in her giggles as they drove to the venue the band was going to be practicing at tonight. Grim opened the door of the bug once it was parked and got out, he pushed the seat forward and took his guitar from Shoal before standing aside to let him out of the car. Oasis and her little brother followed Grim into the sticker and poster plastered building. Morty held the door open for them as he was on his way out to bring in more band supplies from his van.

        Grim plugged his guitar into the amp waiting for him on the small stage platform. He started talking into the mic to the soundcheck guy who owned the venue.

       “Copper, how are you?” Grim asked into the mic as he tuned and strummed his guitar a few times. He listened for Copper’s reply, yelled over the sound check. Copper ran up to the stage platform  and shook Grim’s hand.

      “Let’s make sure you guys are good and ready for Saturday night.” He said up to Grim as he placed his guitar back down.  He hopped off the stage.

      “This is my girlfriend and her little brother.” Grim said introducing Copper to Oasis and Shoal.

      “Little brother?” he laughed, seeing how much taller Shoal was than Grim. Oasis laughed, looking up at her brother who stood nearly 6’3” by now. “Is your whole band here yet?” Copper asked.

       “We’re still waiting for Orion.” Grim said looking at the clock on the wall. “he should be off work and on his way.” He said looking to him.

       “He plays a back up guitar, right?” Copper said looking at the stage as Crue tuned her bass. Grim nodded his head. “Lets have you plug in and play a little bit, we can adjust more when Orion gets here with his guitar.” Copper said directing Grim back to the stage. Grim hopped up and grabbed his teal guitar from its stand. He plugged in to the other amp and started to play a little bit, looking to Copper as he headed over to his sound booth. Grim listened to the levels and told Copper where to adjust. Copper sat making notes of his adjustments to help himself be more prepared for the coming weekend show.

       Orion stepped through the door a few minutes later and unplugged Grim from his amp. He shoved the chord into his own guitar and started to play a little.

      “Sorry, I’m a little drunk, needed to bum a ride from my roommate.” He said to Grim as they both listened to the guitar’s sound.

      “It’s fine, don’t be late on Saturday though.” He said taking his guitar back to the front of the stage.   Oasis and Shoal watched the band do a run down of their songs.  Oasis handed Grim a bottle of water as their run down closed up and their soundcheck guy came up to them to give them a few notes on how they sounded. He gulped the water, soothing his rasping voice and then screwing the lid back on. He shoved the notes into his pocket and walked out to the door with Copper, starting to light a cigarette and talking about percentage cuts and rates with him as usual. Oasis followed slowly and SHoal timidly tagged along, feeling uncomfortable.

      When Oasis met Grim outside he distractedly handed his cigarette to her and she puffed on it a little bit. Her little brother’s neck and brows twisted with surprise as she puffed out smoke and handed the cigarette back to Grim. She turned her head to him, she whispered “If you tell mom or dad I will kill you.” quietly.

       As Copper and Grim finished their conversation and cigarettes Orion came out, stumbling a little. He looked at Oasis with a grin. “How are you? Who is this?” he asked looking to her brother.

       “Shoal. He’s a dork.” Oasis giggled, hugging Orion in a friendly embrace. Orion shook Shoal’s hand with a toothy grin. Shoal’s ears pinned to the sides as Crue came out of the venue with a loud band of the door. Grim turned his head to her as she started singing one of their songs.

       After about an hour more of practicing Grim helped the band pack up their equipment. Oasis handed Grim some of the lighter things as he packed them into the van as her little brother toted pieces of the drunk kit.

      “Oh, hey, Shoal…” Grim said as the Palomino turned away to stand off to the side. Grim sat on the floor of the van, looking up to his blue eyes behind his glasses. “I have a job for you.” He said reaching into his pocket and rifling around for a minute. He pulled out lighters, wads of crinkled money and papers. He thumbed through his torn notebook papers, chewing his lip. “Dammit.” He sighed before checking his other pocket.

       “If you flip me off like last time it won’t be as funny because this is taking too long.” Shoal said growing impatient, waiting for what was likely to be a prank and a waste of his time. Grim’s fingers searched the breast pocket of his leather jacket, pulling out a small bag of weed. He tossed it at Shoal and he fumbled to volley it back, wanting nothing to do with it. Grim beamed a jagged smile up at him as he pulled out more papers and a pen. He distractedly grabbed the pen and pulled it apart with his thumb and forefinger in one hand, the top fell off and a tightly rolled joint fell from the inner walls of the pen. He put the joint in his lips and grabbed a lighter as he tossed some folded papers aside, looking for the one he wanted. He took a slow drag, finally picking up a lined sheet of paper that was tattered and burned on one edge.

      “I’m no artist.” He said in a stifled breath as he held the joint in his lip, trying to talk. He unfolded the paper and handed it to Oasis’s little brother. “But, we need a band logo, we want to start making stickers and bullshit like that, maybe making a little dicky album at some point. Those are just kind of some of our ideas.” He watched Shoal’s blue eyes search the drawings.

      “I could rework some of these and see what I can do.” He said softly.

      “I can pay you however.” Grim said pinching the joint in his fingers.  “weed, acid, booze, sex, cash…” Shoal’s eyes drifted up with a scowl, meeting Grim’s smile. “$75?” Grim asked with a wince.

      Shoal bit his lip, looking a little unsure. Oasis looked at Grim, standing behind Shoal, she gestured her thumb up a little.

     “$100, and one of these?” Grim said bouncing his brows, giving Shoal a joint. He passed it back to him, having no interest.

     “$100 is fine.” Shoal said meekly, looking into Grim’s reddening eyes, glossy as he puffed out a little more smoke. Grim nodded his head.

      “Suit yourself.” He said taking his lit joint from his lip and handing it to Shoal. “Hang on to that will ya…” he said with a snicker, getting kicks out of his discomfort. Grim turned to his pile of pocket contents and plucked ten and twenty dollar bills, unfolding and straightening them out. “Orion!” Grim shouted, looking down at his wad of cash. He reached for his joint, plucking it from the minor’s fingers and returning it to his lip as the drunken backup guitarist ambled over, chains and straps clinking together as he stepped closer. “Do you have $30?” he asked taking a drag. He watched as Orion searched his wallet and pockets. He flopped a twenty onto Grim’s pile and some loose change, which scattered into Morty’s van. Grim watched as it rolled to the backseat and the sounds of it clinking against the bars, sounding like a game of pinball. Grim belted out laughter and lumped the money together. “I owe you $10.” He said placing the stack in Shoal’s hands. “Unless you’re sure you don’t want a...” Grim said before making a stroking gesture with a whistle and his brows raised, letting a smile crinkle across his face as Oasis shook her head in a chuckle at her little brother’s reaction.

[deadsy-doodle-blog]

PUNK ROCK RUINED MY LIFE

SECTION EIGHTEEN

        Two weeks later Grim was turning 18. He got home from school with Oasis on the back of his bike on that Friday and brought her into his grandmother’s home while he got ready for a party that Orion was throwing him. His grandmother handed him a card sized envelope from his mother as they came into the kitchen to say hello. Grim reached across the table for a red pen and wrote “Return to Sender” on it and tucked it into his jacket with a gruff expression.

        “There might be money in there, Mijo.” His grandmother said as he started to walk up the stairs to his room, Oasis following him.

       “I don’t want any of what she has to give.” Grim said back to her without even turning his head.  Oasis followed Grim into the room he was staying in. The old wallpaper was a worn mustard color with blue and white flowers and designs. The bed was nicely fit with a comforter and smooth sheets.

        “You can tell this isn’t your actual room.” Oasis smiled.

       “Yeah?” he grinned back at her as he slipped his jacket off. He took his shirt off and chuckled as she looked around at the feminine vintage room. She looped her arms around his bare stomach in a hug. He wrapped one hand on her back and kissed her softly. She pulled him into another smooch as he was tugging a tee shirt off it’s hanger in the closet. He felt her fingers grasp onto his hips. He grinned, creating a divide between their kisses.

       He dropped the tee shirt in his hands and quietly headed to the bedroom door. He closed it and locked it softly before turning his radio on. Oasis sat cross-legged on his bed, looking at him with a little smile. He jumped on the bed next to her and rubbed her knee softly, looking up at her mischievous smirk.

        She leaned over his chest and placed another kiss on his lips. He rested his hands on her back as their kissing built into making out. He opened his eyes feeling her hands fumbling with his belt.

       “Oh, you’re making the first move today, huh?”

       “Just taking care of the birthday boy.” She laughed lightly, her cheeks starting to blush as she dragged his zipper down. He closed his eyes as he felt her soft touch, a little timid. He placed his hand over hers with a bit of pressure to guide her.

       “You’re not going to hurt me, I tell you every time.” He smiled up at her.

        “Maybe this time I will.” She smirked up at his eyes.

        “Please don’t bite it.” He winced. “Actually, maybe a little. I kind of want to see if I like that.” He chuckled, grabbing onto her hair as she went down on him.

          After about twenty minutes Grim and Oasis stepped down the stairs to the living room. His grandmother sat quietly hand sewing one of her projects.

        “I’m going out with some friends tonight. I might spend the night there, I’m not sure.” He said to his grandmother as they headed to the door. She looked up and noticed Oasis wearing one of his shirts, it hung baggily on her and she followed Grim out, her cheeks red as she hid her face a little.

        “See you later!” she said sheepishly to his grandmother as they headed out the door. Grim pulled the door shut and started laughing.

        “Smooth.” He chuckled, giving her a soft kiss before leading to his bike. “Sorry about your shirt, I’ll wash it tonight or tomorrow.” He added before starting his motorcycle. It growled beneath his legs as he waited for Oasis to climb on.

        “It’s fine! I’m just glad I did a good job!” she yelled over the putter of the bike.

        “Really good job, who’ve you been practicing on?” he chuckled back to her. He squeezed her knee affectionately before winding his bike out of the driveway. He zipped though town to Orion’s apartment, where they had partied all summer. Grim turned his bike off and waited for Oasis to get off before swinging himself off the bike and meeting her with another kiss.

         “I’m glad you’re getting more confident.” He said tucking his hand into her back pocket.

         “I think that it helps that we’ve just been working up to.... ya know?”

        “Fucking?” Grim smiled, the jagged gap in his teeth showing.

        “Making love.” Oasis giggled, thudding his chest.

         “The way I see it, you don’t make love. You just love or you don’t. I love you, so I don’t need to prove it with my dick. It’s just fun, and sexy.”

         “I think I want to try it, like after I turn eighteen in a few months. Is that okay?”

       “Yeah, I’ve already told you I’m fine with waiting until you’re ready.”

        “I just know that you want to. I feel like I’m teasing.” She said in a hush as they neared the apartments. Grim lit a cigarette, to postpone going in.

         “Well, hell yeah, I want to. You’re fucking hot. And it’s been a while, but I really want it to be special for you, since it’s your first time. Honestly it will probably help that we’re working up to it too, it won’t be as scary.”

         “Okay, I just feel bad.” She said moving her hair out of her face.

         “There’s no reason to. If I really need it that bad I just grab a magazine and a bottle of lotion. Takes like five minutes.” He said taking his cigarette from his lip and waving it as he talked with his hands. Oasis rolled her eyes. “ohhhho, you didn’t like that, did you?” Grim smiled.

          “Don’t be an asshole.” She said brushing passed him to go into Orion’s apartment alone. Grim laughed out a puff of smoke and flicked his cigarette to the parking lot. He opened the door with a wide smile.

         “Guess who’s legal!” he yelled. Everyone yelled ‘happy birthday!’ back to him. Oasis was making herself a drink as Grim grabbed a bottle and poured some into a red cup. He kissed her cheek, she still seemed a little upset. “You’re honestly really cute when you’re mad.” He said leaning against the counter with her. He rubbed his hand on her back gently.

          Orion came into the kitchen with a beer and smiled at Grim.

          “I’m not a pedophile if I do this…” Orion said before squirrel tapping Grim. He let out a puff of air and tipped his drink over onto the floor, cringing a bit as Orion laughed. Grim started laughing too and tried to hit his friend back.

         “Give me your nuts, boy!” Grim growled trying to chase Orion in the kitchen.

        “New song lyric!” Orion laughed as he grabbed a pan and covered his crotch.

         “I’ll get you when you least expect it. You’ll be minding your own business, and bam! Punched in the dick.” Grim chuckled, giving up and making a new drink as Oasis giggled in the corner. He grabbed a handful of puffy cheese balls from the table. He handed some to Oasis.

        “Pong practice. Puff me.” He said before opening his mouth wide. Oasis tossed one at him, he caught it in his mouth and crunched it. He waited for another as Oasis giggled and threw one at his chest a little harder.

         “Oh come on.” He laughed catching it with his hands.

        “Yeah Oasis, just let him get some balls in his mouth.” Orion laughed.

         “Whose balls are we talking about?” Morty laughed entering the kitchen with his empty beer. Grim caught a cheese puff in his mouth and crunched it.

         “Mine.” Grim laughed after the crunch. Morty intercepted the flying cheese puff Grim was waiting for with his hand and put it into his mouth.

         “Mine now, bitch.” He grinned to his friend.

        Grim chuckled and pushed his chest back as he mocked Grim, waiting like a baby bird for a cheese ball. They both dove after a mid air ball and knocked heads together. Grim belted out laughter and hugged onto his friend as they both giggled idiotically.

        “Now kiss!” Orion called o them as they stood rubbing their heads. Morty jumped into Grim’s arms, taking his hat to cover their faces as they mimicked slurping and smooching sounds. Grim let out a loud moan before letting Morty’s feet down to the kitchen floor. The pony snatched his hat back from him and winked at Oasis.

        “watch out, I’ll steal him.” He laughed as he picked up a booze bottle and poured some into his cup.

       “Morty, do you have some good shit?” Grim asked after taking a drink of his own concoction.

     “I have some smack and some pretty good ganja.” Morty said rifling into his coat.

     “Smoke me out.” Grim said in a grin. He followed Morty to the living room and sat down on the couch. Oasis sat near Grim quietly, watching as they packed a bong and Morty took the first hit. Grim grasped onto the lighter and wrapped his fingers around the bong, taking a long hit from it as well. The stale skunky stench swirled out as Grim’s lips left the glass. “mmmmm?” He asked looking at Oasis, passing it hallway to her. She hesitantly placed her fingers around the neck and brought it to herself. Grim let out a slow smoke trail from his lips. “I’ll light it for you, all you do is breathe in as it’s bubbling, hold it, and let it out.” He said bringing the lighter near. He watched as she took her first ever hit, she let out the puff of smoke and started to cough. She covered her mouth with a smile as Morty giggled at her.

       “I’m gonna cut off on alcohol for a while, okay?” Grim said quietly to her. She nodded her head softly, finishing her drink to get the taste out of her mouth. “You’ll get too fucked up too fast.” He added as he took her cup into the kitchen. He brought it back with some water.  He kissed her softly and watched her movements slow down as the effects started to settle in.

       “Do you feel it?” Grim chuckled as her eyelids grew heavy over the reddened eyes. She nodded her head slowly and started to giggle. Grim left her on the couch for a moment, grabbing himself a beer and some pizza from the kitchen. He sat down next to her again and watched as she turned into the moment again and smiled at him.

      “Where did you get that?” she asked in a wide grin.

       “I found it.” Grim chuckled, puling the cap from his beer. He handed one of the slices of pizza to her.

        “Oh my goooooodddd! Thank you, you’re the best!” she said taking it graciously, beholding the golden cheese she had been blessed with. Grim smiled at her and shook his head.

       “More where that came from, baby.” Grim laughed before taking a bite of his own and then chugging his beer in a few gulps. She ate her pizza slowly, pondering with each bite. Grim’s head turned as she let out a moan

       “…are you okay?” he laughed, noticing Orion and some of the other partiers turned their heads to the slightly sexualized sound that escaped Grim’s girlfriend.

       “The crust is the best part. It’s so fucking good!” she said shaking her head at him. He started to laugh.

       “Apparently!” he smiled at her. “Do you want my crust?” he asked in a grin. Oasis threw her arms around him and planted a big kiss on his lips before biting the crust out of his hand and returning to her spot on the couch, nibbling at it.  

        “Grim, here we got you a little gift.” Crue said approaching him. He reached for the box in her hands.

        “Woah! When did you get here?” Oasis asked with a full mouth to Crue.

         “I just walked in.” Crue smiled, looking from her to Grim. He made a smoking gesture with his fingers pinched to his lips. Crue nodded her head with a laugh. “Well, open it, asshole.” Crue said looking at him. He cut the tape from the box using his pocket knife and opened the box to a new set of guitar strings and a few picks.

         “Oh fuck yeah! Thanks!” he said putting the lid on them. He stood up and gave Crue a quick hug he sat back down as Crue left for the kitchen to get herself some pizza and a drink.

         “What was that?” Oasis asked with her brows scrunched.

          “What?” Grim asked sipping from his beer.

          “Should I be worried?” she asked.

          “About what? Crue?” he asked, his expression growing a little confused.

          “I’m your girlfriend. I’m right here.” She said getting defensive.

           “Crue is just my friend. You have nothing to be jealous about.” Grim said in a whisper to her, trying not to draw attention. Oasis shook her head, her red eyes tearing up. She got up and grabbed his beer, taking a quick swig before dumping it over his head. She walked toward the door, heads in the room turned as Grim was taken by surprise. He got up after wiping some of the beer out of his eyes with his shirt. He went after her, running a little bit to the door. He pushed it open and squinted his eyes looking for her. She was walking down the block toward the park, the sun was starting to set, the golden light cast a long shadow at her feet as she walked slowly, carrying her head low.

        He ran after her, catching up with gravel crunching under his feet as he matched her speed, she glared at him with teary red eyes.

        “What the fuck was that?” Grim asked, his brows arched down in a scowl.

         “I’m not stupid.” She said wiping tears from her cheeks.

          “I honestly have no idea what you’re on about.” He said shaking his forelock out, flecks of beer dripping from his hair.

         “You feed me all of that ‘oh I have no problem waiting’ bullshit and you have your fuck buddy on the side.” She said puckering her lip in, trying to hold in more tears.

         “What? Crue? What the fuck?” Grim asked as they neared a park.

         “I’ve always thought she was kind of a skank.” Oasis said pushing his hands away as he tried to get her to calm down.

         “Oasis, just shut up and listen for a second.” She wiped her tears away, glaring at him. He held her hand and walked her to a bench at the park. He sat down with her and kept her hand clasped in his. “Crue is just a friend, alright?” he said looking at her. “It’s kind of fucked up that you think I’d cheat on you. Fuck, I know I’m a piece of shit, but, jesus.” He said with a little bit of a heavy breath of air.

         “She doesn’t like me. Never really has.” Oasis said with her head hanging down. “I just figured that was the reason, that she likes you, more than a friend. I can see the way you look at each other. There’s tension.” She said as tears started to fall from her eyes, trailing down her cheeks. Grim stared at her for a long time. He pulled her into a hug.

          “Listen, Oasis, it is weird between me and her. We used to be a thing, but I never loved her as more than a friend. Alight? It’s been like three years since anything happened, she’s my bassist and my friend and nothing more to me, alright?” he asked, stroking her hands.

          “You promise, there’s nothing I need to worry about?” she asked.

          “I pinky swear, babe. You are honestly the best thing that has ever happened to me.” He said hugging her into his chest. “Fuck, you deserve so much better than me.” He said shaking a little, trying to stifle in his tears, his voice wavered a little and he let go of her. He hid his eyes beneath his hair and shrugged his shoulder up, he sniffed a few times.

          “No I don’t. You’re exactly what I love. I don’t care if you think you’re not good enough, you’re trying for me.” She said shaking her head. “I’m sorry I’m being a bitch.” She huffed, trying to calm herself down.

           “You’re fine. I’m a dick sometimes. A lot of the times. I don’t think the pot helped, sort of feel like you’re not reacting well to it. It makes you think a little too much sometimes.” He said. “If I’m being an asshole just give it right back to me, alright, or fucking deck me. I can’t read minds.” He added. He pushed his forelock out of his face, it was starting to stick together from the beer. “I’m not even buzzed anymore, wanna get out of here?” he asked.

          “Sorry I ruined your night.” She said grabbing Grim’s hand as he helped her up.

          “Fuck it, it’s the same every time I’m here. I don’t remember shit. Birthdays aren’t special either. Just another day.” He shrugged as they started walking back to Orions apartment. Grim slipped in for a moment and grabbed a can of beer, shoving it into his jacket to take home. He said goodbye to his friends before meeting Oasis at his bike.

           He revved it up and waited for her to get on. She grasped onto him tightly, clinging to him, still feeling a little high. He made his way down the road, the headlight illuminating the lines on the road that stretched forever in Oasis’s mind. Grim kept turning his head to check on her as he drove. After a while the bike finally stopped and Oasis scrambled off, her legs giving out a bit. Grim grabbed her arm and helped her stabilize herself.

           “Forget your sea legs?” Grim laughed as he got off the bike. She looked up at him with a little giggle.

          “Will your grandma let me stay the night?” she asked, wobbling a bit.

         “Probably, we have another guest room.” He said in a smile. He glanced up to see his mother’s car parked on the road infront of his grandmother’s house. “shit.” He said under his breath.

          “What?” she asked.

          “This is going to be a shit show.” He said swiping his hand over his face. He pushed the door open timidly. The living room was clear. He let out a sigh as he guided her to the kitchen, noticing her irritated eyes. He felt the turning of heads and the movement of shadows turning attention to them as they neared the kitchen.

           “You’re home early!” his grandmother smiled pleasantly. Oasis looked to an unfamiliar mare sitting near the kitchen counter near his grandmother, she had short white hair with black dyed tips. Her makeup was gaudy and her shirt hung low, a little revealing considering her age. Grim nodded his head.

          “She wasn’t feeling too well.” Grim said rubbing Oasis’s back. Grim’s mother looked her up and down for a  moment before taking a drink from a bottle of beer.

          “Hi, I’m Grimmy’s girlfriend.” She said waving gently.

         “Must have some pretty low standards.” His mother said in a smirk, glancing to Grim. “Did you get my card?” she asked. Grim dug into his jacket pocket and tossed the envelope across the counter with the ‘return to sender’ displayed nice and clear. She rolled her eyes and drank the rest of her beer. “Don’t let him knock you up, he’s a real prick. Wouldn’t wanna be stuck with him for eighteen years” She said to Oasis as she pushed by to throw her bottle away. Oasis’s ears switched back, taken by surprise. Grim’s fingers held onto her shoulder, a quiet tension in them.

         “Do you drink tea?” Grim’s grandmother asked gently as his mother went out the kitchen door for a cigarette.

        “I would love some.” Oasis said politely. His grandmother placed a tea box in front of her and started to boil water in a kettle over the stove. Grim’s eyes stayed locked on the door where his mother stood outside smoking. He let out a sigh.

        “Grandma, is it alright if Oasis stays the night in the other guest room?” he asked quietly.

        “Of course, mijo.” She said as she pushed a mug to her.

          “Thank you!” Oasis said warmly to her.

         “I’ll make sure the bedroom is ready for you. We haven’t had a guest in a little while. When that kettle whistles pour her some tea, Grimito.” She said shuffling off for the stairway.

         “who is that?” Oasis whispered, gesturing to the door with a nod of her head.

         “My fucking mother.” He said in a hush between gritted teeth. The door opened again and she stepped inside the kitchen as the kettle started to whistle. Grim got up slowly and turned the stove off. He grabbed the kettle gently and brought it to the counter.

          “How’s Sara?” Grim asked quietly.

          “She’s doing great. Doesn’t have nearly as much attitude as you did.” She said leaning against the wall, folding her arms. Oasis poured water into her mug, feeling uncomfortable. “You got a pretty quiet little girlfriend here.” She said looking to Oasis.

           “She just doesn’t feel well. Doesn’t owe you a conversation, either.” Grim said in a glare to her.

            “She has a mind of her own, thanks. See what I mean, hon, he’s such a little asshole.” She said shaking her head.

           “Since when do you want to be involved in my life?” Grim laughed to himself. “fuck you’re such a joke.” He laughed. “Do me a favor and just walk out.” Grim said gesturing to the door with his green darting eyes. Oasis turned her ear to the shuffling sound of Grim’s grandmother coming downstairs. She let out a breath of relief.

            “I’m going to head out. I just wanted to see the little shit today, but apparently he doesn’t want to be around me.” Grim’s mother said to her as she started to zip her coat back up.

           “Well, it was nice of you to stop by.” His grandmother said timidly, unsure of how to word a reply. Grim watched as his grandmother casually walked his mother to the door and they said their goodbyes. Oasis took a slow sip of her tea, looking to Grim as his teeth grinded beneath his lip. She reached her hand to his and he jumped a little, then looked down at her little fingers curling around his. His shoulders relaxed and a small smile creaked across his face as his eyes met hers.

            His grandmother entered the room again and laid a soft hand on Oasis’s shoulder. “The spare room is made up when ever you are ready. Are you hungry, hita?” she asked.

           Oasis shrugged her shoulders, Grim turned to the fridge and grabbed some leftovers from the previous night and put some in a bowl for her and heated it up. He gently scooted it across the counter to her and watched as she dug in, starting to feel the munchy effects of her first time smoking.

           “Thanks, grandma.” Grim said quietly, looking to her gentle wrinkled eyes.

           “happy birthday, mijo.” She said softly, hugging him before letting out a yawn. “I’m going to go lay down, if you need anything Grimito will help you.” She said to Oasis softly. She shuffled to the stairs and went up slowly, her body aching with each step.

            Grim looked to Oasis, a tired expression in his eyes.  “Why is your mom so…” she started to ask.

            “bitchy?” Grim finished her sentence for her. “I’m not sure, I think she has some kind of metal condition or something. She’s always been really shitty to me.” He said in a sigh. He took her bowl as she finished eating and put it in the sink gently. “I’ll show you where you can sleep tonight really quick.” He said motioning her to follow. She slowly stood up, still tarred up from the pot. She slowly stepped behind grim up the stairs, holding onto the railing as she focused on her movement. Grim gently pushed the door open and turned the light on to a nice guest bedroom. His grandmother had placed some of her shampoo and a fresh bar of soap on a clean towel on the dresser for her.

          “There’s a bathroom over here so you can get cleaned up and whatever.” Grim motioned with his fingers. “I’m gonna go have a quick smoke and then I’m gonna lay down too. It’s been a day.” He said stroking his fingers through his long forelock. Oasis nodded her head agreeing with him before stepping into the bedroom to gently cradle the towel and other items into her arms as she headed for the bathroom to take a shower. Grim thumped down the stairs, tapping his pack of cigarettes on his wrist. He stepped outside softly and lit the cigarette between his lips.

          He leaned on the side of the house as he inhaled the thick smoke and the hit of nicotine filled his lungs. He let out a puff and looked out into the darkened night. Tonight was quiet and pleasant. Crickets chirping as the trees swayed in the early fall air that swept his smoke away. He slowly burned through the cigarette, enjoying the feeling of the tension leaving his body. He felt the beer in his coat pocket from earlier as he stamped the cigarette out on the side of the stairs and threw it into the garbage. He softly creaked the door of the house open and locked it as it closed behind him. He turned the lights off downstairs and headed up, hearing the shower turn off in the bathroom. He went into his room and opened the can of beer and took a quick sip before stripping down to his underwear and curling up in bed. The cold sheets raised goosebumps on his arms as he snuggled into them and reached for a magazine near his bedside. He thumbed through it, skimming articles he had already read about musicians.

         He heard a light tap on the door before looking up to see Oasis wrapped in a towel, her hair damp. She smiled at him as she neared the bed in the dim lamplight of the room. Her towel dropped to reveal her pale skin as she burrowed into the sheets next to him. Grim folded the page of his magazine and tossed it back to the floor before taking another sip of his beer. He turned to her and cuddled up to her, stroking his hand along the damp fur of her hip.

         “how was your birthday?” she asked quietly, nuzzling into his neck. He let out a sigh and his eyes rolled up.

          “a little all over the place, honestly.” He said in a heavy sigh.

          “I’m sorry about earlier, it was super uncalled for.” She said with her eyes shifting away in shame.

           Grim just smiled at her and kissed her softly. “I kind of like a jealous girl. You’re a little feisty.” He chuckled softly. “Haven’t had a beer dumped on me in a while.” He said grabbing onto her butt and pulling her closer to him. “how are you feeling?” he asked in a light laugh.

           “Slow.” She answered softly. “It’s different than I imagined.” She smiled. “I thought that colors would look different.” She said as she rubbed his back softly.

           “You might be thinking of LSD.” He said closing his eyes as she danced her fingers down his spine. “Did you lock my door when you came in?” Grim asked quietly. She nodded her head. “Good. My grandma might check on me to make sure I’m in my own bed.” He said in a smile. He kissed her softly again, her little cold fingers cradeled his cheeks, stroking his sideburns softly as they kissed. She skimmed her tongue against his, his hand groping her butt as her kisses became heavier. “you know what feels super amazing when you’re high?” Grim whispered, parting his lips from hers. She shook her head softly before feeling his fingers trail down her body, contouring the curve to her loins. She let out a little sigh with his touch as her fingers grasped onto his shoulders, curled in pleasure. Grim smiled at her and pecked a small kiss on her lips, watching her expressions.

[deadsy-doodle-blog]

PUNK ROCK RUINED MY LIFE

SECTION SEVENTEEN

      Later on in the month in Grim’s drawing class he hooked his feet around Shoal’s stool and pulled him to his desk with his feet. Shoal turned around, confused as he started to move back. Grim looked up at him. “Can you help me really fast?” he asked. Shoal nodded, scooting his glasses up.

       “I want to draw Oasis, but I don’t know how to draw nipples.” He said quietly to the Palomino. His light brows scrunched down under his glasses, taking his eyes from Grim’s face.

      “That’s gross, Grim.” He said turning and trying to scoot his chair back to his own desk.

      “Shoal wait, seriously I do need help. I’m just pulling your chain.” Grim laughed. He turned his drawing of a guitar to Shoal. He picked it up and held his hand out for the reference picture and compared the two. He sat both pages back down on the desk and took his eraser and adjusted some lines. He pushed the page back to Grim.

      “The angle was too steep.” He said pointing out part of the drawing that was now fixed. Shoal turned back around.

     “Hey, sorry I said that about your sister. I’m just fucking with you.” Grim added.

      “Why would you think I would find that funny?” Shoal asked rolling his eyes, still trying to go back to his own work.

      “Oh I didn’t. I was just trying to get you a little riled up, see what your reaction would be.”

      “You’re really messed up.” Shoal said finally turning around. Grim brought his pencil back down to his page and continued working on his project.

       “Fuck off. She does have great tits, by the way.”

      “Like you would even know, just let me go back to my art. I’m going to ignore you now.” Shoal’s nasal voice said over his shoulder. Grim shook his head, getting some satisfaction from Shoal’s reaction to him, seeing he was obviously uncomfortable and embarrassed.

       “I do know. And thanks for your help, kiddo.” Grim added, not getting any further response. Their art teacher stepped up near Grim’s desk and looked at his art over his shoulder. Grim glanced up to him and picked up his pencil to keep working. The teacher slowly migrated away. After class Grim playfully bumped into Shoal, he was still pissed off and the gesture only agitated him more.

       “Grim! What the hell?!” he said pushing him back. Grim laughed.

       “Whoa, calm down buddy.” He smiled to the youngling, he was roughly the same height as Grim, despite being so much younger.

        “I’m not joking, Grim, leave me alone.” She said trying to outwalk him in the hall.

        “What are you gonna do, kick my ass?” Grim chuckled.

       “Get the fuck out of my face, Grim!” Shoal said pushing pass him, Grim belted out laughter, surprised to hear him use such a strong word.

       Later on during lunch he waited for Oasis near her classroom. She approached him with her arms crossed.

       “Are you being an ass to my little brother?” she asked, looking at his green eyes shifting.

       “I was just giving him shit!” Grim exclaimed.

      “Well he is really upset, okay?” she said taking her books to her locker. Grim leaned against the other lockers.

      “About what?” he said shaking his head.

       “He’s been getting picked on by other kids, and you doing it too doesn’t help. He’s having a hard enough time finding friends.” She lectured him.

       “Wait, who the fuck is picking on him? Besides me?” Grim asked, following her down the hall toward the cafeteria.

      “He wouldn’t tell me.” Oasis said to him heatedly.

       “Well hell, if I knew that I wouldn’t have given him such a tough time. He came and tattled?” he asked.

       “Well I could tell he was having a bad day, okay? Jesus, be a little more sensitive.” She bickered with him.

       “Alright, I’ll lay off the poor kid.” He said tucking his hands into the pockets of his jeans. They approached the same lunch table that Shoal was sitting at alone. Grim slumped his backpack off his shoulder and sat it near him then followed Oasis to stand in line for the cafeteria lunch. Grim wrapped his arms around Oasis from behind her, hugging them over her shoulders loosely. He leaned over and kissed her cheek, she was still upset with him. “I’m sorry I’m a dink.” He said softly to her ear. They waited for a few minutes, talking a little more casually. Grim overheard some commotion from the side of the cafeteria, looking over to see Shoal’s face covered in food and the hand of a heavier set kid in a metal shirt withdrawing from the back of his head.

       “Oh my god.” Oasis said covering her mouth and hopping out of line, running to her little brother. Grim’s eyebrows bunched down and he briskly walked into the direction of the kid in the metal band attire. Once approaching the kid, who was a sophomore, he shoved him aside and looked him square in the eye.

        “What the fuck?” Grim asked shoving the kid back again. They were near the wall now and the bully shoved Grim’s shoulders back.

       “What do you want, pussy? Did I embarrass your little boyfriend?” he taunted, getting in Grim’s face.

        “You’re a fucking cunt.” Grim said glaring him up and down, pushing him hard again, pressed into the brick wall. The bully swung his fist toward Grim’s stomach, he twisted out of reach and brought his knee into the groin of the young paint stallion. He let out a sharp blow of air as Grim shoved his shoulder back, slamming it into the wall and brought his fist up in an uppercut to the bully. A crowd had started to gather and chant ‘fight!’ at this time.

       The bigger kid wrapped his arm around Grim and tackled him to the ground. Grim held onto the fists of his attacker and struggled to keep him off of him.

       “God, you’re a fucking fat ass!” Grim grunted, his arms shaking a little. “Not very strong though, only workout you get is from lifting spoons to your mouth, right?”

       A teacher’s hand grabbed onto the kid’s metal band shirt and pulled him up, and another grabbed onto Grim once he scrambled up from the floor. He looked around to see Oasis, her brows raised with concern. He didn’t see her little brother, his tray was still at the table. Grim was tugged into the principal’s office with his opponent

        After a long grueling lecture and a call to his grandmother Grim was suspended for three days. Once home to his grandmother’s house she lectured him as well.

       “What the hell are you doing, Mijo?” she asked as he walked through the door.

        “I wasn’t the one who started it.” Grim shook his head.

        “Suspended, aye.” She sighed, looking disappointed in him.

       “Would you just let me explain?” Grim tried to butt in as she was rattling off in Spanish and shaking her head as she was walking away from him. He got frustrated and let out an arch of angry sounds before stomping up the stairs to his room. He plugged his guitar into its amp and frantically played for a while, trying to burn off some steam with some fast paced punk music. He played through several songs before his hands started to cramp up. He heard a pound at his door before it flung open and his guitar was unplugged from the amp.

         “What the fuck, Grim?!” his mother’s voice surprised him. She grabbed him by his ear and tugged him down to her level. His fingers dropped his pick. “You got kicked out of school?” she said yanking him near her more as the crackle in the amp fuzzed with their footsteps. Her fingers released his ear and they came up to slap him. He caught her wrist and held it tightly.

         “Don’t fucking hit me.” He said in tense teeth before dropping her hands. He slid his guitar off his shoulder and sat it on it’s stand.

        “What the fuck is your problem? Getting kicked out of school and shit? God you’re really going places, Grim.” She said folding her arms, watching him pace the room with his hands wrapped around to the back of his head. He pushed passed her into the hall, heaving for air, it became so hard to find in this whole house. She followed right behind him. He fled from the house and fumbled with a cigarette, trying to light it, just to do something to keep himself occupied. “No, fuck that!” his mother said grabbing his cigarette and the pack from his jacket. She tossed them to the side. “Are you going to fucking talk? What the fuck is your problem?” she said getting in his face. “Your grandma called me really upset because you’ve been fighting kids at school. Little punk ass, getting fucking violent. Just like your fucking father.” Her eyes burned into him. Grim’s stomach twisted, he leaned against the siding of the house, he heaved for air, getting lightheaded as his blood boiled and his sinuses throbbed with the congestion of another stress induced headache.

         “I was fighting the kid for being an asshole to my girlfriend’s little brother.”

        “Let him pick his own fights. Two more weeks and they could throw your ass in jail for that shit.”

        “Her little brother is only like fourteen. What was I supposed to do, just let him get his ass kicked?”

        “Well it’s bad enough that you broke that neighbor kid’s ribs last Christmas, who the fuck knows what you’re capable of.”

      “Don’t fucking hold that against me. Who the hell fucks their kid’s best friend, then throws a bitch fit when they get pissed about it?”

     “You’re fucking assaulting kids, you’re gonna wind up in the slammer once you turn 18. I’d give you a fucking month.”

     “Oh so now Morty is a kid huh? That’s not what you said a few months ago when I asked if you fucked him.”

      “That’s not what this is about!” she said getting in his face.

       “I didn’t fucking do anything wrong, mom! I was fucking standing up for my girlfriend’s little brother!” he argued back.

         “You know what, fuck it. Whatever. Don’t be calling me when you get arrested for kicking the shit out of a minor.” She said shaking her head and backing away from him. She picked up his discarded cigarette from the lawn and plugged it into her mouth before lighting it and getting into her car. She backed out of the driveway and sped off down the road. Grim slumped down to the ground at the side of the house and held his head in his hands.

          Grim heard the sound of gravel crunching as a car pulled into the driveway. He looked up surprised to see Oasis’s yellow bug. She got out of her car toting his backpack. She approached him as her little brother followed. He pushed himself up off the ground and greeted her in a hug. Her hugs felt so good. They radiated love and kindness that seeped into his chest. He felt his heart thumping, a contrast from her calming presence.

         “Are you okay?” she asked looking up at him, noting that he seemed a little bit off. He nodded his head silently and looked to her little brother.

         “How are you holding on?” Grim asked letting Oasis out of his embrace and taking his backpack from her shoulders. Her little brother nodded his head a little. He flipped his hand back and forth to say ‘so so’.

        “Hey, I’m really sorry for giving you a hard time this morning. I didn’t know you were going through some shit.” He said looking him kindly in the eye.

          “It’s fine, I really appreciate you standing up for me like that.” His nasal voice said softly.

          “Do you guys want to come in for a little bit?” he asked starting to back toward the door. Oasis looked up to her little brother and he nodded his head. She pushed him on to follow Grim inside. “Grandma!” Grim called. She came in from the kitchen, still seeming irritated.

         “This is Oasis’s little brother. I was fighting that kid because he was getting picked on. I really didn’t just pick a fight.” Grim explained with a soft voice. Shoal reached his hand out to her and she shook his hand warmly, looking from her grandson to Shoal.

         “Are you hungry?” she asked Shoal and Oasis.

        “We don’t want to be too much trouble.” Oasis said kindly to her.

         “No it’s no trouble. I want to hear more about this.” She said looking from Oasis to Grim.

         “We can stay for a little bit.” Shoal said after looking to his older sister. Shoal sat at the barstools at the counter grating cheese for their food as Oasis helped Grim’s grandmother happily. Grim was mostly busy opening cans for the taco soup that they were preparing.

         “Why do you get picked on?” Grim’s grandmother asked in a nice voice, taking the grated cheese from Shoal. He shrugged.

         “He’s a new kid, he skipped two grades so he’s the youngest one in the school.” Oasis said looking at her little brother after washing her hands.

        “You must be very smart, chico.” She said with kind eyes. They continued to tell her about the incident and her expression toward Grim softened a little. Still upset that he was suspended, but at least it was for a good reason. After a few hours Oasis and Shoal had to leave, Grim hugged Oasis sweetly and patted Shoal on the back at the door. After they backed out of the driveway he shut the door softly and sat down on the couch in the living room. He held his head in his hands, still going over everything his mother had yelled at him earlier.

         His grandmother’s kind withered hands rubbed his shoulder affectionately and said “my favorite jackass” in Spanish to him. He grinned a little bit and shook his head in a laugh at her. “You’re doing all of my chores while you’re suspended.” She added in English.

[deadsy-doodle-blog]

PUNK ROCK RUINED MY LIFE

SECTION SIXTEEN

       A few weeks later their first classes started. Grim was going through a wave of apathy, his seasonal job had ended and being back in classes reminded him constantly how close but still so far he was from his own freedom of the system, of being dependent. He absent mindedly wrote lyrics and song notes down through the first day of disclosure after disclosure.

       Grim sighed after his fourth class, finally being able to go free to lunch. He waited outside on his bike for Oasis, growing a bit impatient. She finally showed up and greeted him with a kiss, taking the cigarette away from his lip to do so. Grim’s lips parted from hers and they chased his cigarette in her hand. He took a few drags off it as he plugged his keys into his bike and flung his leg over it, then waited for Oasis to get on behind him. He took one last long drag of smoke before flicking the cigarette to the ground.

       He revved the engine and moved his bike out of the high school parking lot, driving them to a little fast restaurant down a few blocks that was popular with the high school kids. He parked his bike at an angle and waited for his girlfriend to hop off. He turned the key and flipped his mane out of his eyes. He looped his fingers around Oasis’s belt loop and hugged her into his side as they walked in the door. He guided Oasis to the counter, and waited as she ordered what she wanted. He ordered a bunch of fries for himself, paid and found a table in the back of the little building.

        They waited momentarily until their food was brought out. Grim had a tendency to hold onto fries like a cigarette as he nibbled.

       “What’s your next class?” he asked looking up to her as she took a big bite of her sandwich. She smiled a little bit with her full mouth and held her finger up to him as she struggled between chewing and laughing.

      “I have biology with Mr. Thundlin.” She finally said after a few moments. Grim pulled his class schedule from his jacket.

       “Oh hey, I do too!” he smiled, grabbing a handful of fries and stuffing his mouth full.

       “Yay!” Oasis said with her face brightening up before she took another bite.

      “I’m gonna keep asking you questions while you try to eat.” He chuckled watching her dig into her food.

      “I’m fucking starving.” she said between bites.

       Grim smiled and gave her a handful of his fries. He dipped a few of what he had left into some hot sauce from the table.

     “Did I tell you I have a class with your little brother?” he said glancing up to her as he munched his fries.

      “No, what class?” she asked.

      “It’s just an art class, I took it for an easy credit.” He shrugged. “It’s our first class of the day.”

      “Ha, that’s awesome, do you sit by him?”

      “Yeah, I’m right behind him. I get to throw shit at him all hour.”

       “God you’re going to drive him crazy.” She smiled taking another big bite.

       “Probably. That little shit is already impressing the art teacher.”

       “Well no shit, he’s been taking private classes from Ozzie since he was six.” She said in a light laugh as she finished up her lunch and stole another of Grim’s fries.

      “Fuck, you can pack it away. Where the hell does it all go?” he laughed as she took a sip of their shared drink.

       “Mostly my calves” she said with her brow scrunched.

       “You’re seriously so skinny.” He laughed. “Gaining like five pounds wouldn’t kill you.” He chuckled. She just glared up at him.

       After their lunch was over Grim drove them back to school and they sat outside enjoying the late summer sun before the bell rang. Oasis helped Grim up and they walked to their next class together. Grim tossed his leather jacket over the chair of one of the back row desks, Oasis sat next to him and they watched patiently as more kids came in. Grim waved to one of his friends, he came over and sat in front of Grim and turned to talk to him.

       “Hey man, I heard you got with Kenzie over the summer.” Grim smiled, talking sort of hushed. His friend nodded his head with a grin. He leaned in to Grim and started to list some of the nitty gritty details of his summer fling. Oasis glared at them and shook her head. Grim’s grin fell with her sharp look. He cleared his throat and stared at his friend, begging him to shut up.

       The class quieted down as the Teacher came to the front and started passing stacks of disclosures to the class. Grim leaned his head on his hand and let his eyes roll up in a bored expression to Oasis. She smiled and nodded her head to him. He glanced over the class disclosure, and then the synopsis of chapters they’d be learning. His lips cracked into a smirk at the words ‘sexual reproduction’ he lifted his page to Oasis.

       “Wanna be my partner?” he chuckled pointing his fingers to the word.

       “You realize you’re pointing at Asexual Reproduction, right?” she giggled.

        “What’s that mean?” he asked turning the page around. He quickly skimmed the sentence. “Oh, I can go fuck myself.” He grinned. Oasis started laughing very hard, heaving for air at Grim’s interpretation.

        “Is there going to be a problem with you two sitting next to each other?” their teacher asked, hovering their desks. Oasis stifled her laughter and straightened up in her seat, Grim contrasting by slouching down in his own and looking up apathetically. Oasis shook her head no and turned her eyes to her disclosure.

        Their biology teacher walked away and started to address the class. Grim gestured a flick of his wrist and imitated a whip sound at Oasis. She rolled her eyes at him and shook her head.

[deadsy-doodle-blog]

PUNK ROCK RUINED MY LIFE

SECTION FIFTEEN

      The summer passed warm and slow, Grim working those three months to build up savings. He and Oasis coordinated plans for their senior year of high school, they had become slightly more intimate since the beginning of the summer, but were still going slow with their next steps.

       Grim plotted his credits out with Oasis, trying to figure out what to take that would allow him to graduate early. He ran through options with her at her parent’s house. Her mother occasionally chipping in to help weigh a decision. Grim was going to be turning eighteen in a matter of weeks now, and he was excited to finally be a step closer to having total control of his life.

      “Grim, do you plan on doing anything after school? College?” Aqua asked as she sat next to Oasis and thumbed through a magazine.

      “No, I don’t really want to go, I don’t think I would make it in anyway.” He said shaking his head. “I just want to play music.” He said looking up from his registration papers.

      “I’m sure if you worked really hard this year you could get in somewhere.” She added. Grim shook his head again. Oasis looked at her mother with a raised brow, signaling for her to drop it. Grim was a little self-conscious of his education, and he constantly beat himself up about it.  

      “You’re still planning on beauty school, right babe?” Grim asked his girlfriend, she nodded with a smile.

      “Yeah! I’m so excited! I just have a few classes to take at the tech school and then I can start going for more training.” She said to him. After about an hour deliberating on their registration they put their papers away and went for a walk as the sun started to set. Grim lit a cigarette in the warm late August air and held Oasis’s hand with his free hand as they walked.

       “What are we going to do when we graduate, like really?” Oasis asked, looking up to him.

       “I’m moving into an apartment as soon as I can. Maybe you’d wanna come with?” he asked glancing down to her.

       “I think that sounds great. We could live together, and cook together, and just be around each other all the time.” She said in a smile. “It’s almost been a year since we first started talking.” She added.

       “It has, huh?” Grim asked breathing out some smoke. He strung his free hand around her waist as they walked. “pretty good year?” he asked.

       “Really good year.” She grinned up. “I think I’m getting used to you.” She chuckled, pushing against his arm.

       “That’s honestly probably a bad thing.” He smiled. “How would your parent’s take it if you moved in with me?” he asked. “Not that I give a shit, personally, but I know you do.” He added.

       “You know how uptight they are. They would want us to be married or at least engaged. Sometimes I just get so frustrated with them. I’m seventeen and a half. I can make my own choices. I kind of wish I could do whatever I want, like you.” She said in a sigh.

        “Hey, you’re pretty lucky though. Your family is pretty functional. Mine is a fucking shit show.” He said glancing at her with his brow cocked down.

       “I know. But sometimes I just feel like I don’t fit in. Like I’m not as good as my brothers. Splash is a jock just like my dad, and Shoal is like some child prodigy. I don’t know. My dad is over protective and my mom is always worried for me. I just wish they would pull the stick out of their ass sometimes.”

        “Don’t take that for granted.” Grim said, his expression melting into a more serious tone. “You have no idea how fucking lucky you are.” An icy edge to his voice made Oasis’s ears pin back.

        “I can’t do anything, Grim!” she said dropping his hand.

        “Doing everything yourself isn’t so great, either, Oasis!” he shouted a little bit. Her ears flattened and her brows scrunched up at him, mad and offended by his tone. He let out a huff of air and shook his head. “I’m sorry, I’m jealous.” He sighed out, looking away from her flaming blue eyes. They reached a park as the sun dipped beyond the mountain.

       “Why are you jealous?” she asked, starting to soften a bit from the heat of the moment. They walked toward the swings and sat down, Grim rocked himself a little bit, looking down at the ground for a while. He wasn’t sure if he really wanted to talk about it.

      “You have both of your parents, your brothers are both fully related to you, your mother hugs you and is nothing but supportive, your dad fucking loves you, your parents live in a two story house, and it’s clean, and they cook and laugh, and like actually talk about feelings. I’ve never had that. Not once.” He said in heaves of shallow breath. “They care about where you are at night. They care about who your friends are.” He added, he felt her gaze and heard her get off the swing, the chains gently clinking together. Her hands softly caressed his shoulders and wrapped him into a hug.

      “God, Oasis, I fucking practically raised my little sister, I don’t even know how she is doing because I can’t go back to that hell hole.” He said halfway smothered into her stomach. “I can’t even stand my mom, Oasis. I hate her so fucking much.” He said with tears starting to well up a little. He quickly sniffed and stifled his tears back into his eyes. Her hands rubbed his back gently and through his hair. “I’m sorry I’m being a pussy.” He sniffed after a few minutes.

      “Grimmy, you’re supposed to have feelings. It’s okay. I didn’t know you’ve been through this.” She said softly, crying herself.

      “You don’t even know the half of it.” He said trying to pull himself together.

      “You can tell me.” She said softly, trying to get him to look at her.

      “I don’t want to talk about it, it hurts too damn much.” He stiffened his lip, feeling his chest ache. He took a few deep breaths, a familiar migraine pulsed into his sinuses. “Lets get you home. I should go too.” He said getting up from his swing. He walked away fairly briskly, Oasis fought to keep up. He was clearly still upset but too hardened to talk about it any further. They walked the remaining block back to her parent’s home.

       “Goodnight, I love you.” Grim said once next to his motorcycle.

       “I love you too, I didn’t mean to upset you.” Her ears dipped back.

       “Don’t worry about it, I’m fine.” He said shaking his head. He pulled her into a kiss and a fast hug before letting her go and throwing his leg over his bike and starting it up.

[deadsy-doodle-blog]

PUNK ROCK RUINED MY LIFE

SECTION FOURTEEN

      Grim followed Crue into the venue, toting his guitar and a part of Morty’s drum kit. He sat his guitar on it’s stand on stage and handed the snare to Morty as she started reassembling his kit, getting ready for the show. Orion plugged his guitar into his amp and started tuning as Grim flipped wires around the floor, he took time taping them down. Morty did a few short clashes on his drums and cracked his knuckles a few times.

      “Crue, take a step to the left!” Morty called over their soundcheck. She took a step to the side and looked back at him. He grinned and bobbed his eye brows. “That’s better.” He said with a grin, staring at her. Her brows scrunched and she stepped her bass close to the amp and it squealed high pitched in the speaker next to his head. He covered his ears and glared at her.

      “Go fuck yourself!” she said spitting at him before returning to her place, plucking at her bass watching Grim scatter around getting everyone ready. “Grim, he’s being a fuck head again.” She said down to him.

      “What am I? Fucking baby sitter? Grow up and deal with it.” He said scrunching up and grabbing his guitar and plugging in.

      Crue and Morty started bickering, as Grim tried to soundcheck with the sound guy. His ear flicked to his band mates, his brows scrunched and he stormed to Crue, he pulled the plug from her bass. “Would you two shut the fuck up?” he exclaimed looking to both of them. “Stop being a big baby, and stop being a fucking asshole.” He said tugging both of their ears and releasing them with a push. Crue picked up her plug and stuck it back into her bass as Grim returned to his spot. “Are you fuckIng ready, Orion?” he asked, losing his temper.

      Grim strummed his guitar again, staring to the sound guy. His thumb directed the volumes and levels until he found his happy spot. People started flooding back into the venue as they warmed up. The band started playing rambunctiously from the first few sounds. Grim’s hands hung low to his guitar, frantically strumming as he growled into the microphone. His knee mimicked Morty’s drumming, a little bit slow. Grim dropped his hands and grabbed onto the mic, flipping a finger to Morty and pointing it up, glaring back to him.

      They played through a few songs in their set, eventually being encored. Grim was dripping with sweat as the moshpit screamed for more. He wiped his face with his hand and started another riff and the fast paced lyrics, Orion and Crue joined in, eventually Morty adding his drums. The moshpit violently swirled, legs and arms going every which way. Grim noticed a shadow hop up onto the stage, his cheek was caught by a fist, several others in the most pit were trying to jump up and grab the random intruder, Grim’s cheek stung as he noticed a bloody spiked bracelet pull back from his face.

      “You wanna go, motherfucker?” Grim said loudly, the mic blaring a bit as his guitar’s chord ripped away and Morty’s drumming slowed down. Grim grabbed onto the arm of the punk and twisted it to the side, is own blood smearing from the spikes to his wrists. Grim brought his foot up and pushed him from the stage into the grasp of the moshpit. Grim returned to his mic and finished the last lyric of the song before storming off stage with his guitar slung from his back. He held his cheek as he headed for the bathroom. He pushed the door open and noticed two younger boys smoking a joint. Grim grabbed it and took a fast hit before handing it back to them and looking in the mirror at his cheek.

      “Hell, are you okay?” one of them asked.

      “mother fuck.” He said grabbing paper towels and dabbing them to his cut. They quickly filled up with blood. Orion came in shortly after and checked on him.

      “Shit, you need stitches man.” He said as Grim was rinsing and blotting the blood.

      “What the fuck?” Grim asked looking up to his friend.

      “Did you know that guy?” Orion asked Grim, he shook his head, causing the blood to gush more.

     “Hey! Give me that fucking joint, again!” Grim called in the mirror, looking back at the kids in the back. They brought it over to him and Grim handed them a little wad of cash, slapping it to their chest before using his left hand to take a drag and  holding his cheek with his right. He winced and pulled the paper towel from himself, the blood kept coming.

      “Come on, you need to go to the hospital.” Orion said trying to push Grim.

      “No, fuck you.” Grim glared up at him.

      “Yes, fuck you.” Orion said pushing him more.

      “Don’t touch me, mother fucker!” Grim said with a scowl as he held the joint in his lip and pushed Orion’s chest. Orion shook his head and wrapped his arm around Grim and lifted him over his shoulder. “What the fuck?” Grim squirmed. Orion pushed the door open, met by Morty and Crue.

      “Start your van.” Orion gestured to Morty as Grim fought his grasp.

     “Put me the fuck down, I’ll go.” Grim guffed, letting out a breath of smoke over Orion’s shoulder. Orion let his friend down, Crue and Morty quickly packed the van with their equipment as Grim sat in the front seat still slowly smoking and holding his face, blood seeping through the paper towel to his fingers. 

     Morty drove to the nearest hospital and they walked in with Grim to the ER. They brought him back fairly quickly and stitched his cheek closed, asking to call his mother. He told the nurse his grandmother’s phone number and waited as the doctors spent time disinfecting the gash in his face.

     Grim sat in the waiting room for a while after, waiting for his grandmother to show up to pay for the stitches and take him home. She showed up looking worried, glancing to Grim with raised brows.

     “I’m fine.” He said in monotone, glancing up to her.

      “What happened?” she asked looking at his large gash.

      “I got punched in the face and the kid had a studded bracelet on.” He said moving his jaw a little. He waited while his grandmother took care of insurance information and payment info. He followed her quietly to the car and held his cheek.

     “Don’t touch it.” She scolded him.

     “It hurts.” Grim said in an arch of attitude.

      “Because you’re touching it.” She said in a glance to him.

[deadsy-doodle-blog]

PUNK ROCK RUINED MY LIFE

SECTION THIRTEEN

       Grim’s alarm went off early in the morning, he pulled himself out of bed and pulled the nearest pair of pants on and the least smelly shirt he could find. Today was the last day of the first week of is full time summer job. The June morning air was crisp in his grandmother’s house as he quietly went down the stairs to make some coffee and eat breakfast. He shoveled cereal into his mouth as the coffee maker gurgled.

       His ear flicked around to his grandmother softly shuffling her slippers across the wood floor.

       “Good morning.” She said scuffing her way to the fresh coffee. She poured herself a cup and one for her grandson. She softly sipped from her mug, watching him pour some cereal milk from his bowl into the coffee and stir it around, spooning out a soggy flake. “It’s Friday mijo.” She smiled, looking at the bags under his eyes as he let a heavy sigh out.

       “almost there, one more day.” He said in a slight smirk.

       “Going to see your girlfriend after work?” she asked.

       “Yeah, it’s been a few days.”

       “Good, that will make you feel better. What time are you getting home tonight?” she asked.

       “I’ll try to be back by midnight.” He said slurping his coffee and leftover milk, he put his dishes in the sink and poured the remaining coffee in the pot into his thermos for work. He pulled his leather jacket off the back of the chair and pushed his arms through it. He grabbed his thermos and motorcycle keys and headed out the door for work.

       He swung his leg over his motorcycle and revved it, the sun was starting to peak over the mountains and shine into his eyes, he pulled his sunglasses out of his jacket and slid them up the bridge of his nose. He tucked his thermos into the saddle bag of his motorcycle and pushed his bike out of the driveway. He ripped his bike forward down the road and drove to work. He clocked in and pulled his long snarled mane back. He went to his station and began his day’s work. His eyes repetitively glanced at the clock watching the hours tick by. He counted the minutes down until he was able to go see his girl.

       After eight grueling hours he ambled to the time clock and punched out, immediately releasing his mane from the ponytail and shaking it out, greasy and sweaty from the warm building. He grabbed his jacket on the way out and tugged it on as he briskly walked out the door. He revved up his bike and sped to Oasis’s parent’s house. It was about 5:30 by the time he got there, he knocked on the door timidly and waited for an answer. Her mother answered with a welcoming warm smile.

       “Grim! Come in, we were just having dinner, come join us if you’d like to.” She said leading back to the dining room and rushing to get him his own plate. He sat his plate down next to Oasis and hugged his arm around her. She smiled and smooched him sweetly.

       “How was work?” she asked as he reached to slap some food onto his place.

      “It was a fucking drag.” He said cramming food into his mouth. Her father cleared his throat and glanced his way. Grim didn’t acknowledge his glare and kept gulping food.

      “You must have been hungry!” Aqua giggled as he cleared his plate in record time and leaned back in the chair, patting his belly.

      “I was starving. Didn’t have time for lunch today.” He said in a smirk to her. Oasis giggled at him and shook her head. After the dinner was cleaned up Oasis’s family scattered around to their various activities. Shoal was going to his art class in a little while and was preparing to go. Cache and Splash watched the football game on TV, calling out as team scored. Oasis’s mother was busy cleaning and talking to the couple as she went. 

      “Do you wanna go do something?” Oasis asked Grim feeling bored.

      “Yeah, we can go hang out somewhere.” He said gently stroking her hair with dazed eyes.

      “Going out?” Aqua asked pleasantly.

      “I think so.” Oasis said in a smile.

      “Have fun, be back before ten, okay?” she smiled. Grim took his girlfriend’s hand as they walked to the door.

      “Oasis, are you going out?” Shoal asked gathering his art stuff.

      “Yeah, why?” she asked with her brow cocking down.

      “Can you drop me off to Ozzie’s?” he asked. Grim looked to Oasis.

      “Yeah, is it okay if we take my car instead of your bike, Grimmy?” she asked. Grim nodded his head.  Shoal smiled and gathered his art supplies and followed them to Oasis’s bug. He crawled into the back seat and waited as Oasis started the car. Grim pulled the seat handle and pushed his seat back into Shoal’s long legs and laughed.

     “God, Grim!” he laughed. Oasis smacked his chest playfully and he pulled his seat forward again. Grim chuckled to himself and turned on his music as she pulled out of the driveway. Once down the road a few miles Grim rested his hand on Oasis’s leg and they talked about their day and what they wanted to do.

     “Is dad going to pick you up?” Oasis asked looking in the mirror at her little brother.

     “Yeah.” Shoal said in monotone.

      “Okay, good.” Grim smiled looking back at him. He scooted closer and whispered in Oasis’s ear his idea.

      Oasis pulled up to the blue house and waited as Grim got out and pushed the seat up so her little brother could climb out of the seat and head inside. Grim sat back down and looked at his girlfriend for a while.

      “His art is pretty good huh?” he asked. She nodded her head. “Is his art teacher like some crusty old lady with a shit load of cats?” he chuckled.

       “No, actually, he’s covered in tattoos and listens to metal.” Oasis laughed.

       “Fuck, maybe he’ll rub off on your brother…that didn’t sound right…” he laughed.

      “Oh my god!” Oasis laughed.

     “So what did you think of my idea?” he smiled, watching the road go by in front of them.

      “I know just the place, it’s a little bit of a drive but it’s perfect.” She grinned. Grim smiled at her.

       “Oh, I’m excited.” He said in a chuckle.

      After several miles and a few songs later they were very far from the city. She pulled up next to a little meadow on a dirt road. She took her keys from the car and followed slowly to an old willow tree as Grim looked around silently, fireflies glimmered through the air and over water of a pond. He slipped his leather jacket off and tossed it into the grass near the dock, followed by his shirt. His pants dropped and he gently flung his briefs to the dock. He took a running jump and plunged into the cold water. It was a refreshing feeling, washing the days stress and sweat from his body. He emerged from the water and spat a bit from his mouth, straightening his soaked hair out of his eyes. He looked up to the dock to see Oasis on the last part of her undressing. He waved her on.

       “Come on, it feels so good!” he smiled, looking up to her dainty body bathed in moonlight. She gracefully submerged her naked body into the water and swam toward Grim. “Hi.” He said as the water rippled from her body to his.

      “Hi.” She laughed. Blushing a little and keeping her eyes glued to his. He smiled and kissed her sweetly. His hands threaded through the water to her hip as they swam in place. He gently rubbed her hip through the water and glanced down with a smile, the water a little dark and murky to see much. She blushed and laughed.

      “Sorry.” He said in a sigh, looking back to her face. “You’re too perfect.” He said caressing her face with his dripping fingers. She smirked at him and laced her fingers around his neck. She pulled herself closer to him and kissed him warmly. He caressed his hand to her tail and kept them afloat.

      “We didn’t bring towels.” Oasis giggled, trying to keep talking to avoid awkward silence among the sound of treading water and crickets.

       “We can drip dry.” Grim shrugged a little. “I don’t mind if you’re a little wet.” He said softly before his soft smile cracked and he immediately started laughing. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it to sound like that.” He said in embarrassment.

      “I don’t get it.” She said looking at him confused. “what did I miss?” Grim laughed harder.

       “Shit, you have a lot to learn.” He giggled kissing her softly.

      “What? Was that like a sex joke?” she asked with her brows scrunching.

     “Yeah, it’s okay. I’m a pervert sometimes. I really didn’t mean for that to be dirty.” He apologized.

      “It’s fine. Have you done it before, Grim?” she asked starting to drift away a little bit.

      “Yeah, I’ve done it a few times. We don’t have to talk about this if you’re not comfortable.” He started to feel an awkward tension building.

      “I mean, we’re butt naked, might as well address the elephant in the room.” She said in a smile. “How many girls have you been with?” she asked hesitantly.

      “Three.” He said calmly looking her in the eye, her eyes fell a little bit. “I know I got started a little early.” He said shifting his green eyes from her face. He started tearing  himself apart in thought, how his mother probably doomed him to turn out this way.

       “I just feel embarrassed, I’m not experienced and I’m scared I’m not enough.” She said bringing her eyes up. “I want you to be happy being with me.”

      “Oasis, I am happy with you. You’re like the only thing that makes me happy. Don’t feel bad for being naïve, or innocent, please.” He grabbed her hands in the water. “I can be patient, I have no problem waiting until you’re ready and we can take it slow, okay?” he asked softly as the moonlight illuminated the bright green sincerity of his gaze.

      “Okay.” She said in a sigh, treading water to hug onto his body. His hands rested on her hip as hers wrapped around his shoulders. She started to blush a little and pushed herself back starting to giggle.

      “What?” Grim smiled at her.

      “Its…smaller than I thought it would be.” She said giggling.

      “Hey! The water’s cold, don’t be mean!” he chuckled and splashing some water at her. She laughed and pushed water back at him. He took a deep breath and dipped below the surface, disappearing in the murky pond water. Oasis looked around, waiting for the cold shock of a splash. She felt him tug at her foot before popping up behind her, she screamed and swam away as he tried to splash her.

      After a while they were both getting tired. Grim clutched onto the dock and pulled himself up out of the water. His back arched with the cold air and he wrung the water out of the hair of his tail and shook his mane. Oasis struggled hanging onto the dock to pull herself up. Grim’s hands met hers and he pulled her up. Her eyes quickly skipped from their feet up to Grim’s face, blushing.

      “uh, here.” He said reaching for his shirt and handing it to her to dry off with. He tugged his briefs on followed by his pants. They clung to his damp legs as he put his leather jacket on his bare shoulders and flipped his hair over it. She was already dressed and running her fingers through her hair when he glanced back. They wandered over by the willow tree and laid in the cool grass, watching stars and fireflies. “This place is really pretty.” He said glancing over to her.

       “This is where my mom and dad grew up” Oasis said in a smile.

      “Oh really?” Grim’s brows raised in surprised. She turned her head back a little and pointed to the tree trunk that had some initials carved into it. She smiled. “They probably fucked under this tree.” Grim smirked, digging for a reaction from her.

      “Oh my god!” Oasis belted out in laughter. “Don’t make me think about that!” she punched his arm. Still sitting up she pointed across the field. “See those lights? That’s my grandparent’s house.” She giggled.

      “Jesus, you’re a little ballsy, aren’t you?”

       “They couldn’t tell if it was us from that far away.” She smiled. “My other grandparent’s live just down the road the other way too.” Grim laughed.

       “You’re a fucking psycho.” He laughed.

       “It’s pretty though, huh?” she added looking around the meadow and the dotted fireflies and wildflowers.

       “Yeah.” Grim said looking at her as she sat taking in the environment. Grim grabbed her hand sweetly and kissed her fingers a few times before massaging them in his callused hands. He looked down at her dainty left hand, stroking at her ring finger gently for a moment. Her right hand butted in and he massaged that one gently. After a few minutes he stretched her hand around to his neck and she was pulled in closer to his chest.

       “Hi.” He beamed up at her. She smiled and moved her damp hair out of her way.

       “Hi.” She smiled down, biting her lip slightly.

       “God, you’re fucking pretty.” He said in a short sigh, caressing her cheek softly. She leaned down to him and kissed him softly, his hands lazed up to her waist, holding onto her as she smooched him lightly. She shifted a bit in the grass and flung her leg over him His fingers curled to her pockets as she kissed him a little more passionately. His tongue slithered to her lips as they let go of his bottom lip. She pulled back starting to laugh.

      “You taste like pond water.” She giggled. He chuckled and sat up to her, kissing her gently once more. “What time is it?” she asked.

     “Fuck if I know.” Grim smirked. Oasis stood back from him and found her car keys in the grass. He got up and followed as she walked to her car. She started it and checked the time.

      “Shit, I need to be home in twenty minutes.” She said to him.

      “Oh fuck, do you have everything?” he asked getting in the car.

       “Yeah, I think so.” She said getting into her driver’s seat and handing his shirt back to him. She pulled her car out of the meadow and headed back down the old corroded road. Grim lit a cigarette and rolled the window down.

       “Can I have one?” Oasis asked, glancing at him, obviously stressed. Grim nodded his head and handed his to her and dug another out. She puffed on it shakily and let a cough out with the first inhale. The smoke whipped out the window as they sped through the night toward the highway. “That was fun.” Oasis said between a puff.

       “Yeah?” Grim chuckled.

       “So you really meant that, that you’ll wait for me?” she said starting to get a little more quiet. Grim turned the radio down.

       “Yeah, I have no problem at all. You just take your time, alright?” Grim said before taking a long drag.

       “I just feel bad.” She said before puffing on her slow burning cigarette.

       “Don’t. I don’t want to pressure you into doing stuff if you’re not ready or scared. I’m fine with where we are for a while.” He said shaking his head.

       “I want to try, I’m just scared I guess.”

       “We can work up to it. There’s other stuff we can do. Just don’t worry about it for right now, okay?”

       “Thanks, Grim.” She said turning her eyes to him briefly.

       “I love you.” He blurted out. He watched her ears perk and a smile cross her lips. His ears and cheeks burned, his heart pounding in his chest. Did he really just say that out loud?

      “I love you too.” She said in a smile before tossing her cigarette butt out the window. His heart jumped to his throat and he couldn’t wipe the smile off his lips. 

[deadsy-doodle-blog]

PUNK ROCK RUINED MY LIFE

SECTION TWELVE

       The remaining few months of the school year rolled by fairly quickly, Oasis was tutoring Grim to help him get his grades up in their free time before summer rolled up. Her little brother wound up being great help with math even though he was so much younger. By the end of the term he was passing all of his classes with a B average, his best ever. Oasis had started to let lose a lot more and would occasionally join in on parties and band practices that Grim went to at the beginning of summer. She had started to taste little sips of whatever bottle was provided for the mostly minors.

        Grim picked her up from her friend’s house on a summer night on his bike, she wrapped her arms around him as the bike rattled and revved up with the twist of Grim’s fingers. He drove through town and into the next to Orion’s apartment. He slowed the bike pulling into a parking lot of a fourplex. He walked the bike to a parking space and waited for Oasis to hop off. He pulled his key out  and got off the bike as well, he pulled his jeans at the knees, unbunching them from his crotch. He wiggled his right leg a little and let out an annoyed puff of air before plunging his hand down his pants for a brief moment. Oasis looked at him with her brows skewed.

        “Balls.” He said looking at her expression. She shook her head and laughed. He lead her inside one of the basement apartments, Orion, Crue, Morty, and a few other familiar faces were there already. They raised their drinks to them an announced a hello as they came through the door. Grim made a quick survey of the alcohol and mixers. He poured some rum into a cup and topped it with some cola. He handed it to Oasis and pinched her butt before he poured some more for himself. He picked up an Everclear bottle and took a quick painful swig and grimaced as the burn fell down his throat to his chest. He swung his way into the dark living room that followed the kitchen. He flung his leather jacket on a chair and sat back. He grabbed Oasis by the hip and pulled her onto his knee.

       “Hi Oasis.” Crue smiled, Oasis smiled back to her politely.

      “Hi!” she grinned. Grim stuck his hand out to Crue and she passed him the pipe she was taking a hit on moments before. He cradled the lighter and the pipe in his hand and brought it to his chest. He passed his plastic cup to Oasis to hang on to while he took his hit. He breathed his smoke to the side, away from Oasis’ back.

         “Do you wanna try, babe?” He asked in a deep, pushed voice, holding the smoke in as he tried to speak.

        “No, I think I’m okay with just this.” She said holding her drink up. Grim took his cup back and passed the glass pipe back to Crue. Grim caught glimpse of Morty on the other side of the room, he nodded his head to him, it was still a little awkward between them since Christmas. They had worked things out a little bit and Grim was working on letting go of anything associated with his mother. Morty ambled over and sat on Crue’s knee, mimicking Oasis on her boyfriend’s. He turned and batted his eyelashes at Crue. She shook her head and let out a breath of smoke.

       Grim laughed and rubbed Oasis’ back gently a moment before his hand trailed to her chest and he groped her breast briefly, Oasis turned to glare at him, taken by surprise and a little embarrassed in front of his friends. Crue smiled at him and reached around Morty’s back and twisted his nipple. He yowled and jumped off her knee. She brought her boot up and pushed his ass away from her. Grim laughed to Crue. She scowled at him after glancing at Oasis’ uncomfortable face.

        “Fuck you too.” Crue said reaching to Grim’s chest and twisting his as well.

       “Ah, bitch!” he yelped grabbing his chest.

        “Be nice to your girlfriend, asshole.” She said in a smile to Oasis, who seemed happy to have someone there to keep him in line. Morty came back and sat on the other side of Grim on the floor.

        “Stop grabbing tits!” Orion called from down the hall. He and some of his friends his own age came out toting a door.

      “What the fuck?” Grim laughed looking at them.

      “We broke my normal beer pong table.” Orion laughed. He and his friends set up some kitchen chairs and placed the door ontop of them.

       “How the hell did you break it?” Crue asked getting up to go get a drink.

       “Some fucking idiot was kicking the legs when he was tripping on shrooms.” Orion said motioning to his roommate.

      “Fuck off, you were supposed to be baby sitting me.” He laughed.

      “God damn it, that’s all I ever do.” Orion laughed looking at his underage friends. Crue and Grim flipped him off with a grin.

      “Oasis, you told your parents you were sleeping over at your friend’s house right?” Grim asked. She nodded her head.

      “I’m planning on spending the night here, You’re gonna wanna shower before we take you home tomorrow morning.” He said quietly playing with her hair.

       “Yeah, my dad would kill me if I came home smelling like beer and pot.”

        “I think he would kill me first.” Grim laughed.

       “What are you guys doing for summer?” Crue asked, she was the one with the most functional family from the band and sometimes would go on a vacation for a few days.

        Morty gestured to the room with a smile, Oasis shrugged poking her lip out and turning to look at Grim. He rubbed his eyebrow with his knuckle and looked at both of them.

       “I actually applied to work full time over the summer.” He expected some laughter.

      “Good, then you can move your ass out as soon as you can.” Crue said raising her brows.

      “Hey, are you guys playing or not?” Orion asked to his band members. Grim patted Oasis’ thigh and she let him up. Crue followed and Morty took her seat.

      “You’re not going to play?” Oasis asked feeling a little uncomfortable around him, there was something about him that just made her feel uneasy.

      “Poor depth perception.” He said tapping his thick glasses. Oasis nodded slowly. He got back up and slowly walked by her. “Do you want a beer? Or another drink?” he asked holding his hand out to her.

      “Sure.” She said handing her cup to him.

      “Morty, she’s drinking rum, don’t go too heavy, she’s a lightweight.” Grim called from the other side of the door table.  

      Morty rolled his eyes at Grim. “is rum okay then?” he asked her. She nodded her head in a little smile to him. Oasis watched as Grim made his first beer pong shot and missed.

      Morty’s chestnut finger popped back in front of her face with the plastic cup.

     “Thank you!” She smiled as he sat down next to her again.

      “He doesn’t want you to get sick.” Morty said to her as she took a slow sip of her drink, it was a little strong. After about twenty minutes she was starting to feel the alcohol hit her, and obviously Grim was too, being a few beers into losing the game.

     “Celebrity shot.” Grim said waving Oasis to come over. He handed her the ping pong ball and rested his hand on her hip as she tossed it into one of the cups. Grim hooped and pulled her chin into a kiss. His lips were cold and tasted like flat dirty beer. She smiled up at him as he rested his arm over her shoulder and watched the other team miss their shot.

       After losing the first round of beer pong Grim changed the CD that was playing and grabbed Oasis’s hands and pulled her in to dance with him. Oasis was feeling a little bit tipsy and laughed, trying to keep her balance and swinging her hips and arms with him.

      “Ya drunk?” Grim laughed, noticing her reddening cheeks and heavy eyelids.

      “I think so!” she giggled grabbing onto his shoulders. “A little bit!” she added. Grim grabbed her by the hips and pulled her in closer from her dancing and kissed her softly.

       “Woooooo!!!” Everyone in the room cooed, turning to them. Grim popped his middle finger up in their direction with a wide grin. Oasis let out a loud laugh and a snort. The entire party turned and laughed at her giggle as Grim let her out of his arms. He followed her to the kitchen for a refill on their cups. He leaned into the counter sipping on his concoction of various booze. Oasis was downing hers fairly quickly. He grabbed her waist and pulled her body into him against the counter.

       “Slow down a little bit, okay?” he said softly, kissing on her neck.

       “Let loose, I’m having fun.” She smiled, staggering a bit to turn to him.  

       “I know, I know. You don’t have a high tolerance.” He said moving hair out of her eyes. He kissed her softly a few times on the lips.

      Orion came into the kitchen and noticed their PDA.

     “Don’t be getting too lovey dovey tonight.” He said filling his cup.

      “Why, I never.” Grim said in a gastly voice, touching his chest. “Are we on the couch?” Grim added, dropping his imitation voice.

       “Yeah, wherever you drop.” Orion shrugged. Oasis started giggling, looking up at Orion as he smiled at her then back to Grim. “Do you feel it?” he asked looking at Oasis as she swayed a little, trying to hold her balance.

      “Yep!” she said holding onto Grim’s shoulder. He looked down at her shoes, that had a bit of a heel.

      “Why the hell did you wear those?” he laughed at her. He held onto her hip and helped her walk back to the living room and helped her take off her shoes. She wiggled her toes a bit in her socks and leaned back into the couch onto Grim’s arm. He rested his arm around her and stroked at her shoulder as Orion’s roommate put a movie in and started it, a few people starting to wind down.

       Grim’s fingers tangled into his girlfriend’s dark hair, she sweetly wrapped her arm around him and rubbed his side a little bit. She pulled herself up and met his lips. He softly grazed is against hers until she locked onto him with some feisty kisses. He rested his hands on her cheeks and held her into the kisses until it built to a makeout in the darkened room. After a few minutes she pulled away from him with a grin before resting on his chest again.

       Morty came by with another drink for them and passed his pipe to Grim. Grim took a few more hits, and sipped his drink slowly. It was a heavy mix, and everything was starting to catch up to him. He dozed for a few minutes, feeling the hit of pot sink into his shoulders and weigh his head back against the couch. He felt Oasis stirring a bit, and she let out a disturbed noise.

       “I don’t feel good, Grim.” She said. He opened his eyes, she was swaying and her words were starting to slur. He got up and helped her.

       “Lets get you to the bathroom, babe.” He said propping her up, Crue looked over concerned a little bit. Grim glanced at her and smirked a face as he helped his girlfriend walk to the bathroom. She instinctively headed to the toilet and struggled to pull her pants off before she sat down. Grim closed the door and awkwardly watched as she rested her hands on her knees, starting to black out a little. She got up after a few moments and pulled her underwear up and her pants without zipping them. She leaned against the wall and started to cry. Grim walked over to her and placed his hand softly on the top of her head. He stroked her ear softly and touched the hands covering her face.

      “Hey, what’s going on?” he asked.

      “I’m a bad kid.” She cried.

      “No you’re not.” He laughed.

      “I lied to my mom and dad and I’m so fucked up. Don’t let me die, Grim.” She cried.

       “Hey, it’s okay. You’re fucking normal babe, not every kid is perfect, a little rebellion is good for you. You’re not going to die either, you just had too much.” He said hugging her as she cried.

        “I don’t’ feel good, I can’t see straight.” She said trying to stop her tears.

       “Come here.” He said pulling her with him to the toilet. He pulled the handle and flushed it before he lifted the lid and sat with her as she leaned over it. She dry heaved a few times and nothing came out.

      “You need to throw up.” Grim said sounding a little more urgent. She had tears running from her chin.

      “I can’t” she said turning to him.

      “Here, look. You need to throw up, you need to make yourself throw up.” He said making her look at his face. “Take your middle finger, and try to touch the back of your throat.” She reached her fingers to the back of her throat and gagged a few times, to no avail.

      Grim winced as she tried again and finally, copious amounts of alcohol spilled from her mouth. He pulled her hair back and held it for her as she heaved several times. “There you go.” He said rubbing her back. She rested for a few minutes over the toilet, sweating and shaking. Grim helped her up and helped her rinse her face at the sink. A light knock on the door came and Grim yelled out. Crue opened it to check on them.

      “She’s okay.” Grim said leading his girlfriend out. Crue went into the front room before them and told Morty to move off the couch. Grim lead her to the couch and helped her lay down. Crue came a few minutes later with a cup of water and some bread.

      “Shit, is she okay?” Orion asked quietly to Grim as he stroked her hair, she was starting to black out.

      “She’ll be okay, she threw up a lot. Just needs to sleep it off.” He said quietly. At this point only the band members were left staying at the party. Orion and his roommate moved their makeshift door table and pulled the futon mattress of the couch out and helped Grim lift Oasis a little bit and turn her to her side. Grim followed Orion and grabbed a blanket from his room, it smelled like sweat and marijuana.

       Grim tucked his girlfriend into the blanket and curled up next to her on the futon. Morty eventually went home around 2 AM and Crue was curled up on the other couch. Orion and his roommate were off to their own bedrooms.

      Grim scratched Oasis’s back softly, feeling her breathing. He leaned up and took her earrings out and placed them in his pocket. He noticed Crue sit up and grow edgy as he uncovered his girlfriend and tugged her pants off gently. “Relax, I just want her to be comfortable.” Grim said glancing back at her. He folded Oasis’s pants neatly and placed them under his pillow. He covered her back up, slipped his shirt off and hung it over the back of the couch. He cuddled up to her under the blanket, rubbing her back softly, still not feeling too well himself as he comforted her.

       As daylight broke though the window Grim’s eyes gooed open. Oasis was still sleeping, she had moved a little bit in her sleep, to the other direction so she was basically the big spoon. He  sat up softly and stretched his back up. He leaned over and brushed her hair out of her face. She moved a little bit before her eyes opened to him.

       “Feeling okay?” he asked in a hush.

       “No” she groaned.

       “Still nauseous?” he asked.

      “A little.” She nodded her head.

      “Where are my pants?” she asked after rustling a little and rubbing her legs together. “We didn’t do anything, did we?” she added.

      “They’re right here, I took them off after you passed out, I wanted you to be more comfortable. We didn’t do anything either, you made out with me and then you got sick, so here we are.” He smiled softly before kissing her forehead. She started to sit up and held her head in pain. Grim reached to the side of the futon and grabbed the cup of water he had for himself. He gently handed it to her and she drank it quickly. Grim let out a belch and noticed Crue jump up.

      “Did I wake you up?” Grim laughed. Oasis’s eyes closed and she groaned. Grim slid out of the blanket and off the futon bed and pulled his shirt back on. He took Oasis’s cup and refilled it in the kitchen. He brought it to her with a slice of bread and some ibuprofen. She graciously took it from him after rustling around under the blanket to pull her pants on. “Take a shower in a bit and get cleaned up, then we’ll go get breakfast and I’ll drop you off when you’re feeling less hungover.”

[deadsy-doodle-blog]

THE ART OF HOLDING YOURSELF TOGETHER

SECTION ONE

         Ozzie flung his long hair over his shoulder as he dug in his pocket looking for the house key to his mother’s home. “Son of a bitch.” He mumbled as his fingers were fumbling the keys and his baggage was growing heavier by the moment. He hadn’t used that key in so many years. He flipped to the old silver key and pushed it into the keyhole, turned and unlocked the door. He shuffled his bags in his arms and pushed into his childhood home. Home, that was a weird concept after five years of jumping around.

        He flipped the light of the living room on and looked at the subtle changes of the room that his mother had made since he left at nineteen for Italy. It wasn’t too late yet, only about ten so his mother may have still been awake. He shook the snow off his shoulders and slid his coat off after resting his bags by the door. He heard some cautious footsteps approaching, he smiled, eager to see his mother. Her ears and eyes peeked around the corner of the wall at him, looking shocked to see a hairy dark young stallion beaming ear to ear at her.

         “Get out before I call police.” She said shakily.

        “Mom, it’s me!” Ozzie belted out in laughter. She stepped away from her hiding place by the wall and put her guard down, leaving her broom leaned against her post. She immediately teared up at the sound of his laughing voice and she came to him with open arms. She hugged him tightly and cried into his shirt as he rubbed her shoulder warmly.

         “What happened to you? You look like a damn thug.” She said wiping her tears and looking up to him after a few moments. “What are these holes in your face, Osmond?” She asked with her brows scrunched. He smiled and shook his head, his dimples puckered as he took his hat off and shook the snow off and placed it over his suitcase. “My god, look at your hair.” She said in her little Italian accent. It was very damaged and was threaded with beads and snarled braids. 

         “This is nice, I like this.” She smiled after shaking her head and stroking his full goatee. He smiled again looking at her eyes, researching her new son, he grabbed her hands and kissed them. 

        “I missed you.” He  laughed.

        “Well, I’m glad you’re home. Go take a shower, are you hungry? Why didn’t you tell me you were on the way home?” she said in a jumble of emotion.

        “I wanted to surprise you.” He chuckled taking his shoes off. “I could eat, what do you have?” he asked as they walked further into the warmth of his childhood home. The smell of his mothers house was so welcoming and warming to his heart., He headed for the restroom as she parted to the kitchen. She warmed up some leftovers for him to eat, it was weird that she might be cooking for two again so suddenly. She kept his plate warm and made him a cup of chamomile tea as the shower water in the bathroom rattled the pipes through the wall. He came out about ten minutes later in jogging pants and pulling a white tee shirt over his chiseled chest plastered in tattoos.

        “Osmond.” His mother said with a stern look on her face. He just smiled at her, waiting to hear all about it. She pushed his plate and cup to him at the counter bar, she grabbed his hands and turned them back and forth, looking at all of his new body art. “There’s not much space left.” She said looking up at him before getting a spoon for him.

       “I still have some room.” He chuckled to her. He pulled his sleeves up to show his bare uninked shoulders. He pulled the pant leg of his jogging pants up and showed her the spaces he had left on his calves. She sighed and shook her head with a smile.

        “Where did you leave my son?” she laughed after he started to spoon soup to his lips.

        “A little here, a little there.” He said flicking his icy eyes up to hers with a smile.

        “Do you have pictures, I want to see.” She grinned leaned on the counter. He nodded his head as he chewed the chunky soup, he sprang up from the bar stool and rummaged in his tattered up bag. He pulled out a black photo box and sat it on the counter. He pulled a pocket knife from his cargos and slashed the tape from the lid. He pushed the box to her and took the lid off.

        “Wait…” he said as she started grabbing a chunk to start with. He eyed the box carefully and thumbed out a handful of about ten photos with red pen marks on the side. “I don’t think you’ll want to see those ones.” He laughed placing them face down on the counter in front of him.

         “Oh, little keepsakes, huh?” she smiled up from the photos from the start of his trip.

        “Yeah, something like that.” Ozzie chuckled as she shook her head at him with a smile.

        “Do they find all of that metal in your face attractive over there? And all of your colors?” she said flipping through the photos of her son five years ago in Italy. That was the Ozzie she remembered, one colored skin, short hair, and just his ears pierced.

       “There’s some pictures of all of the art I sold while I was gone too. Thought you’d appreciate those.” ignoring her question, sort of getting tired of her criticism. He picked up his tea and swirled the teabag around before taking a few sips. He lifted his spoon from his soup back up and it clinked against his tongue ring and made some soft scrapes.

[deadsy-doodle-blog]

 PUNK ROCK RUINED MY LIFE

SECTION TEN

      “Grim.” He heard Sara say quietly, tapping his arm.

      “What?” he asked rolling over.

      “Will you help me build a snowman?” she asked.

      “No.” he said quietly. He burrowed deeper into his blanket and turned his back to her. She pushed his back and he grunted trying to scoot away from her.

     “Please?” she asked looking sad.

     “I guess.” He groaned as he barrel rolled out of his blanket and popped his back as he sat up. She smiled and handed him his coat. Grim smiled. “Let me get dressed first.” He said scratching his bare chest. He pulled his gray thermal shirt on and his green pants, then tossed the tan coat on and pulled a beanie over his mop of hair. He dug into his drawer and found some fingerless gloves. He followed his little sister out into the deep snow. He helped his little sister roll the snow and stack up the balls into t snow man. He told her to go find some rocks for the eyes and face. Grim pulled some sticks off the tree and stuck them into the sides. He lit up a cigarette and puffed on it as Sara finished their snowman.  About five minutes later he stuck the filter end from his mouth into the snow man’s face and Sara laughed.

      A few hours later their mother came home from work with another guy toting on her arm. She had eggnog in her arm and some brownies from a coworker.

      “Mom! Look what we made!” Sara said smiling at her as she was walking up the driveway.

      “Wow.” She said distracted. The guy looked uncomfortably toward Grim. “These are my kids.” She said with a little smile.

      “How old did you say you were?” he laughed looking at Grim kind of awkwardly, Grim’s glare shot through him. She thumped the stranger’s chest and kissed the neck of the guy and whispered something to him before they headed inside. Grim lit another cigarette and started walking down the road.

     “Where are you going?” Sara said sounding distressed. He ignored her. “It’s Christmas Eve.” She said sadly.

      “It doesn’t matter. It never mattered, Sarah.” He said turning as he kept walking. He showed up at the house after night fall, the snow was falling heavily and his nose ran, numb fingers. He opened the door and saw his little sister frosting some cookies.

      “Did mom make those?” he asked.

      “Yeah, they’re in her room now.” She said putting some sprinkles on the cookie. Grim picked one up and took a bite out of it. He sat it back down and took his coat off. He blew his nose in a paper towel. Grim and his sister watched tv for a while, until their mother was showing her friend to the door.

      “Nice.” Grim scoffed as she shut the door, she glared at him.

      “I don’t tell you how to live your life.” She said abruptly to quip.

      “I thought you said you were trying to be better.” He snarked.

     “I am. I’m only human, Grim.” She argued.

      “you sleep with every guy you meet. I’m surprised we don’t have another sibling as often as you whore yourself out.”

      Sara cried “just stop!” Grim and his mother stopped arguing and looked at the floor.

      “There’s Christmas movies on tv.” Grim said quietly sitting back down, feeling sorry for his little sister. Their mother cleared her throat.

      “Let me go take a shower and I’ll come watch a few.” She said quietly. Grim curled up on the couch with a blanket as his little sister colored some coloring pages from the free coloring contest book for businesses. Their mother came back a little while later in her spaghetti strap nightgown, which was a little too revealing after a few movies Sara went to bed. Grim stared into space on the couch quietly.

      “You wanna polish off that bottle of tequila?” his mother asked after a moment.

      “What kind of mother are you?” he asked sitting up.

     “we’re both miserable.” She said shrugging. Grim got up and brought the bottle and two shot glasses out.

      “might as well be drunk and miserable, right?” he asked setting them down on the coffee table. She took a shot and poured him one.

      “How well can you hold your alcohol? Think we can finish this?” she asked swishing the bottle.

      “Oh yeah.” He said nodding his head. He took his shot quickly and she poured more. “Do you need a chaser?” he asked getting up again.

      “Yeah” she grimaced with her shot. He brought two sodas out and knocked another shot down.

      “Whatever happened to that one girl that you were hanging around a lot a while ago?” she asked starting to feel the alcohol.

       “We broke up, or called it off, whatever, we didn’t get along as well as we thought.” He said shaking his head taking another shot.

     “I liked her, she was cute.” She said looking disappointed.

      “We’re still friends. She’s the bassist in my band. But I’m getting kind of serious with another girl in Grandma’s town right now. She’s really nice and has her life together.” He said awkwardly.

     “Good. She sounds out of your league.” She said taking her shot.

     “I thought so too. She must have a thing for bad boys I guess.” He shrugged.

      “She probably doesn’t know what to do.” She said taking a long drink of her soda.

      “Not really, but she’s trying.” He said nodding his head. “It’s been four months with her coming up soon.

      “Don’t knock her up. Don’t be shitty.” She said lounging back.

      “Mom, close your legs or put some underwear on.” He said averting his eyes from her. She pulled a blanket over herself and rolled her eyes. After they drank the bottle Grim stumbled to his room and passed out on the bed. A few hours later his little sister woke them both up with excitement. Grim’s blood rushed to his head and as he sat up his stomach flipped. He bolted for the bathroom across the hall and hung his head in the toilet vomiting up tequila and soda. After getting cleaned up Grim went into the front room and they sat down to open gifts, which was usually money from their mom and clothes from their grandma. Grim opened up a new coat and a pair of jeans from his grandma, and Sara a new pair of pajamas, shirts, pants, and a new handmade blanket.

      Grim handed his gift to Sara, she opened up a new stuffed animal from him and hugged him tight, excited to have something for herself that wasn’t his old toys passed down.

      Grim opened up a pack of cigarettes and fifty dollars from his mom. He smirked. “Thanks.” He said in cynicism.

     “What. It saves you a bribe.” She said with a smile, still a bit drunk. 

      That day Grim dawned his new coat and went to practice with Shade. It had been about a month since he had last seen anyone from the band. He was excited to play some music that his grandfather had wrote and see what they thought of the sound of some of the guitar riffs.

     “How’ve you been?” Crue asked hugging him thoughtfully as he walked into the old abandoned house. He embraced her hug and squeezed her tight in a friendly hug before putting his arm around Orion as well.

     “I’ve been doing okay, actually.” He said with a grin between her and Orion.

      “How’s your mom?” Morty asked quietly from the back of the room on his drum kit. The other two looked at him.

      “…What?” Grim asked seeing their reaction. Crue’s ears dipped and she glanced over at Orion. He nodded his head to her, his brows were scrunched and he looked genuinely pissed, which was rare for him.

      “Just wondering.” Morty added quietly.

      “Grim…can I talk to you, in private.” Crue said giving him a very serious look. Her eyes looked like they could be smoldering with unspoken rage. He nodded and followed her outside into the snow. “we weren’t going to tell you, but I think you have the right to know.” Crue said holding her hands together and then unclasping them to scrub the short side of her mane as she sighed and hesitated.

      “What?” Grim asked confused, growing impatient and anxious

      “Morty fucked your mom.” She finally blurted out. She watched as Grim’s shoulders grew ridged and his ears flattened back. His breathing became heavier and he clenched his fists.

      “Are you fucking kidding me?” Grim asked feeling that damn migraine again. He looked up at Crue.

      “You’d have to ask him for the full story, but he’s been bragging about it at school, Orion and I were pissed when we heard. There’s some nasty shit being said, I’m glad you don’t go to our school anymore.” She said shaking her head and lighting a cigarette. Grim slumped down further on the icy ground and lit one for himself, he held his head in his hands as he puffed at the cigarette, fighting off some angry tears. Crue touched his back, trying to comfort him.

      “Don’t fucking touch me.” He snapped. “I’m so pissed off right now.” He said jerking away from her. He got up with the cigarette still in his mouth, puffing out smoke like a locomotive. He stormed inside the abandoned building full of band supplies. He handed the cigarette to Orion as he brushed past him then pounced on Morty, tipping his drum kit over. The drums clattered and thumped with their struggle

       “How the fuck could you?” he yelled with his hands pinning his throat down to the floor. He held his fist up ready to start pummeling the chestnut pony.

        “She came on to me.” Morty choked, he squirmed under the band’s front man. Grim lifted his leg over the drummer and straddled him, pinning him with his entire weight. He started bringing his fists down onto his friend’s face and chest.

        “You fucked my mom? I thought she couldn’t get any lower and she does this? And you went with it?” Grim said punching him repeatedly.

       “I wasn’t going to pass up on free pussy. She asked me to shovel your driveway a while ago, and she said she’d pay me off. I went inside and she just went down on me.” Morty said in rhythm with the blows delivered by Grim’s fist. Morty was able to wriggle out from Grim’s legs, he stood up and tried to scramble back until Grim pinned him against the wall. ortyfought back a bit after a while, clipping Grim’s chin and nose, Grim started beating him harder with more rage until Morty was about to pass out in pain, starting to slump against the wall as his eyes rolled up a little bit.

      “Grim!” Crue said trying to pull him off the drummer.

     “Fuck you!” he said still punching, blood spattering the wooden floor boards.

     “Grim! That’s enough!” Crue screamed as she and Orion started pulling him off of their drummer He pulled away from Crue’s grasp and kicked Morty in the side. Grim heaved for a moment looking at Morty curled up in a bleeding ball. Crue’s fist popped Grim in the eye and he turned his attention surprised, he held his hand over his swelling eye and looked at her fuming.

      “Stop. You made your point.” She said standing up to him. Orion timidly went to the drummer and cared for him. He was badly injured from the kick in the side. Morty grabbed at his side and wheezed, blood seeping from his nostrils and gums.

      Grim’s mouth bled and he shook his head, he grimaced and spit a part of his tooth out, from Morty’s struggle. Grim was shaking and literally steaming in the cold as he was licking the blood from his bottom lip. He looked from Crue’s face to Morty and Orion against the wall.

      “You probably broke his ribs.” Crue said feeling that he was being excessively violent. She turned and helped Orion gather Morty to take him to a hospital. Grim stormed out shaking his head as Orion lifted Morty onto his shoulder and Crue ran to open the car door.

      By the time Grim got home his eye was watering badly, it was already deep purple and swelling shut. He approached the trailer house that caused so much of his pain and baggage. His brain coursed with a mishmash of punk eulogies, suicidal thoughts, violent tendencies as he approached the door. His hand touched the cold door knob and his thoughts left and all he could feel was blood. Blood rushing inside his head, blood flowing from his face, blood throbbing in his hands, blood stinging in his busted knuckles.

      “What happened?” his mother asked when he returned, he heard her in a foggy distorted cloud. He took a deep breath and his eyes slowly tracked to her, feeling the fog. I was like being high on everything at once. His heart raced but his head was slow until catching up to that sentence.

     “Why don’t you fucking tell me? I just kicked the shit out of my friend Morty because he was bragging about something you did.” Grim said confronting her. He sounded so calm, he even surprised himself.

      “You know how boys are, he’s making it up.” She said shaking her head.

     “I’m not so fucking sure, mom, you’re such a fucking whore. If it has a dick you’ll suck it.” He said as the blood build up and the words spat out with it.

      “I felt bad because I didn’t have any cash on hand.” She said angrily. “I don’t need to explain myself to you.” She said growing irritated. “He’s eighteen, isn’t he?”

      “Pretty bad when your seventeen-year-old son is more responsible and can keep it in his pants! You throw your vagina around to get what you want, just like it’s fucking international currency! You don’t care who gets in the crossfire!” He said screaming. Sara peeked out of her room afraid. There it was, the rage, the migraine.

      “Stay in your room Sara!” Their mother screeched down the hall.  

      “Ya know, I’d tell you to suck my dick, but knowing you, you probably would!” Grim screamed storming off to his room. “Fucking puta.” He added as he flung the door open. 

      “Don’t fucking talk to your mother like that!” she said following him into his room. He started aggressively shoving everything he could into his backpack.

      “You’re not a mother, you’re just the person who gave birth to me.” He said glaring up at her.

      “Oh Saint Grim, he can do no wrong.” She said crossing her arms.

       “Excuse me for falling out of your vagina and living in this hell for sixteen years! You’re such a bitch.” He said shaking.

      “Run away to grandma’s again, go mooch off her.” She said as he brushed past her with his back pack. He went to the phone and called his grandmother, she said she’d pick him up. He ignored everything his mother was yelling and throwing at him as he stormed out the front door. He walked about five miles by the time his grandmother drove by and picked him up. He was freezing, his pants were soaked wet from the snow and ice, his hat frozen and his hair starting to become crisp. He flung himself into the car and turned the heater on full blast.

      “What happened?” she asked worried looking at his black eye and the blood on his lip and hands.

      “She fucked my best friend.” Grim said shaking his head.

      “Language.” She said looking at him. That was the word she really hated.

      “I don’t care right now, grandma, I’m still really pissed off.” He said looking out the window and folding his arms. “Soy un hijo de puta.” He sighed. Tears started to silently leak from his good eye, he carefully wiped them away so his grandmother didn’t see him crying. She looked at him sadly as she shivered and sniffled.

       “calm down, you’re out of there.” She said handing him a pepsi. He took it in his hand and held it up to his eye, the cold relief.

       “I’ve gotta go to school with a shiner.” He said looking at himself in the mirror after a few minutes of silence.

      “Did she do that to you?” she asked looking worried.

      “No, my friend Crue did, I was beating the shit out of the friend that slept with my mom…Crue made me stop.” He said quietly. “My mom was throwing shit when I was leaving, I honestly don’t even know if anything hit me. I just feel numb.” He sniffed.

[deadsy-doodle-blog]

PUNK ROCK RUINED MY LIFE

SECTION NINE

      The next few days were slow, and Grim drudged the week he’d be out of school staying with his mother. He got home from school that Wednesday and packed his bag with some clothes for a week and the gift he had for his little sister. His mother soon showed up with Sara. His mother was dressed in a sweater that was a hint see through and some very tight leggings and her biggest hoop earrings, he rolled his eyes not thinking that she had changed at all. Grim threw his stuff into the back seat of her car and sat in the front seat with his arms folded. Sara was already sitting in the back, excited to see her brother as their mom was talking to their grandmother for a few moments.

      “Has mom been better lately?” he asked his little sister looking straight forward.

      “Yeah. We go places sometimes, she takes me out with her and get food.” She said happily.

      “Good.” He said as his mother came toward the car. She got in and started it. She backed out of the driveway slowly and turned the car toward the road to  the highway to go to their small trailer park.

      “Mrs. Hannaway asked me if you could shovel her driveway and steps when we get home.” She said looking at Grim.

     “I always used to.” He said shrugging.

      “Ours too.” She said in addition.

      “Why don’t you just salt it?” Grim asked as the snow started to fall and the storm brewed.

      “That’s too expensive.” She said shaking her head.

      “Not really, you can get it for like ten bucks at the grocery store.” He said shaking his head.

      “That’s a nice coat.” His mother said looking at him and sort of grabbing at the fabric on his sleeve spattered in multiple stains and patches.

     “I’ve always had this.” He said with a glare at her. She released a tired sigh and pulled a cigarette out and lit it up, rolling her window down and steering simultaneously. They were silent on the rest of the car ride until they got home. Grim went next door to the trailer house the old woman lived in and asked to borrow her shovel. He quickly shoveled the snow from her walkway and driveway, then did the driveway and stairs of his mother’s trailer. Once it was dark Grim’s nose was running and his fingers were numb but the snow was shoveled aside. He returned the shovel and walked back home with a plate of cookies and hot chocolate mix in return.

      “Jesus it’s freezing in here.” He said taking his coat off moments after walking into his childhood hell hole.

      “Buck up.” His mother said as she was putting her own on and grabbing her keys.

      “Where are you going?” Grim asked.

      “Out, gotta get more smokes, and I’ll bring back some food.” She said heading out the door. Sara sat on the couch with her worn out blanket bundled up around her.

      “Let’s turn up the heater a little. This is bull shit.” He said rolling the sleeves of his long sleeve up and messing with the thermostat. He listened for a while, not hearing it turn on.“Fucking pilot’s out.” He said in a grumble going to the kitchen to find some matches. He stuck a few and finally lit the pilot and the heat started to fill the house.

      “Sara, you don’t need to sit in the dark.” He said turning the lamp light on. She looked cold still. “Go get your pajamas on.” Grim said to her kindly. “I’ll make you some hot chocolate.” She excitedly left the room as Grim went into the kitchen and heated up some water in the microwave while he also brewed some coffee.

     Sara came and sat on the floor in the kitchen with her worn out teddy bear, which used to be Grim’s. She was wearing one of his old shirts from when he was a kid. He handed an old mug full of sweet chocolate with marshmallows to her and poured himself some coffee in his own. He sipped it black and sat on the floor with his sister. “It’s gonna get better.” He said sweetly to her, hugging her shoulder.

      “I’m okay.” She said softly.

      “sis, I’m sorry I left you. I just hope that mom’s been able to provide for you better now that I’m gone.” He said looking at her.

      “You make her mad. She’s always stressed out.” The seven year old said to her older brother.  “She said you ran away because you hate us.” She said looking sad.

      “I don’t hate you. I just don’t have any respect for mom. She doesn’t have any self control. She seems better now. I thought maybe if I wasn’t here to cost money and do all of the work for her she might step up a little.” He said. Sara got up and went into the front room with her hot chocolate.“Does she still bring guys home?” Grim asked.

      “Sometimes. She drinks a lot more now.” She said looking saddened again.

     “Is she mean to you?” Grim asked.

     “No.” she said shaking her head.

     “She was mean to me, I think it’s because I look like my dad.” He said.

     “Grim, who is our dad?” she asked looking at his green eyes from over her mug.

     “Sara, we have different dads. I don’t know who mine is at all, mom’s been with too many guys to know for sure.” He said honestly.

     “Why doesn’t he live with us?” she asked. “We’d be better with a mom and a dad.” She said confused. “All the other kids in my class have both.” She said a little frustrated.

      “Sis, they probably don’t even know we exist.” He said honestly, seeing some tears well up in her eyes.

       “You’re lying!” she said getting emotional. “Mom said you’re a liar!” she said getting up and storming off to her room.

      “Sara, you don’t understand!” Grim yelled at her as she fled the conversation.

     “you’re a liar! My dad is going to come and everything will be okay!” she yelled. Grim stormed up to her room livid that his mother was brainwashing his little sister against him while he was gone.

      “I am not a liar! Our dads don’t even know we were born because our mother is so much of a fucking whore that she probably doesn’t even remember who knocked her up in the first place! She probably couldn’t tell you who your dad even is! He’s not coming to be a part of this family, because we are not a family!” Grim said going red in the face as he screamed. Sara was crying hysterically on her bed now.

     “I thought that’s how babies were born, when people love each other.” She bawled.

     “Mom doesn’t know what love is. We were only born because sex feels good, Sara. That’s the only reason. We are both accidents in mom’s life. We weren’t planned.” He said trying to calm down, taking deep breaths to try and soothe that familiar pounding in his ears of a stress headache. He breathed deeply for a moment as Sara stared into space. He huffed out and ran his hand through his long hair. He looked behind his shoulder and walked into the room. He shut the door and sat on her bed. “Sar, do you understand where babies come from?” he asked her.

      “People love each other and…I don’t know.” She said looking frustrated.

     “Don’t tell mom that I told you, in fact don’t tell anyone. I just want you to understand why I said all of that.” He said to his baby sister. She curled up in a ball in her blanket, not wanting to look at him.

     “People don’t need to love each other to have a baby.” He started calmly. “Babies come from having sex.” He said holding his head in his hands, embarrassed.  She jumped at the word, knowing it was bad, she looked up at his uncomfortable face. “Do you know what it is?” Grim asked. She hesitantly shook her head no. “they get naked and do stuff, they kind of mix different germs and sometimes it makes a baby grow inside the girl.”

      “But aren’t germs on everything?” she asked more confused.

      “yeah, but these are kind of special kind. They have to put their body parts together to mix them…” he said starting to look mortified. She looked at him confused still. He groaned and looked up at the ceiling in frustration “Okay, you know boys and girls are different, right?” he asked, she nodded. “The boy parts have to go inside the girl parts.” He explained with his fist and finger. She looked horrified. Probably scarred for life, but at least its better coming from him than their mother, he thought.

      “for christ’s sake.” He said wiping his forehead. “That’s how it works, it feels really good and mom does it for fun, not for love.” He said shaking his head. “Those guys she brings home all of the time, that’s what they’re doing in her room.” He said scratching his neck.

     “So, she made us for fun, not because she wanted us?” Sara asked looking tearful again.

      “Yeah, Sarah. She’s an addict to that feeling, and I’m sure she cares about us and all, but that’s why we don’t have a dad. She doesn’t want to be married or with the same person for very long.” He said biting his lip with his brows raised, hoping that she could understand a little better now. He heard the door slam out in the front room.

    “Don’t tell.” Grim said looking at her with stern wide eyes. She nodded her head and followed him out of her room. Grim grabbed his coffee from the table and took a sip.

     Their mother was sitting a bottle of tequila on the counter with three Styrofoam boxes, a six pack, and she tapped a new pack of smokes on her wrist as she threw her keys down.

    “looks like you went on a real fuckin spree.” He said nudging Sara to take some food. She lit her cigarette and smiled.

    “Sure as hell did. We’re getting trashed tonight.” She said taking a long puff from the cigarette.

    “Oh god, how can you do that? Smoke before eating tacos then chasing it with tequila? What the fuck?” he said taking his box from the stack.

   “I’m a hard bitch.” She laughed.

    “Sé que eres una perra.” Grim said with a roll of his tongue as he was getting a fork. She pushed the ash end of her cigarette on his hand. “What the fuck, mom?” he asked jumping away.

    “Don’t talk to me like that. You should be grateful, you little asshole. Did your grandma teach you that?” She said getting a shot glass down, Grim’s gray ears pinned back to his mop of hair as he left the room quietly. They ate in silence watching television. After a while Sara went to bed and Grim sat on the shabby loveseat as his mother was curled up on the couch.

     “I see you got the pilot to light.” She said as the heater kicked on. 

     “What the fuck is your problem?” Grim asked edgily.

     “I could ask you the same.” She said glaring up at him.

     “No really, what is it about me that you hate so god damn much?” he asked.

     “You’re a mean, back talking, condescending little prick with a god complex.” She said taking a shot of tequila and grimacing.

    “I mean before that.” Grim said brushing her insults off.

    “What do you mean? You’ve always been a dick.” She asked.

    “Even as a kid you treated me like shit. Burning me with your cigarettes, yelling at me when I didn’t do anything, what the hell?” he asked. She stayed quiet for a moment, and nervously took a drink again. “I have a right to know. You don’t treat Sara like this thank god. Is it because of my dad?” he asked.

    “You don’t know your dad.” She said drinking the last of her glass. She got up and brought the bottle and another shot glass out. She sat it in front of Grim and poured him a shot. He looked at her oddly. “What? You already drink anyway, why not at home?” she asked taking the rest of the shot she was sipping.

     “Answer my question.” He said picking up the glass and slamming it down his throat.

    “I told you, you have no idea who he is.” She said turning the channel.

     “Yeah, but you did.” He said looking at her as he poured more into his glass.

    “He was abusive.” She said looking up at him after a long pause of silence. Grim stayed soundless for a few moments, taken by surprise that she was actually going to talk to him.

    “One night stand, right? Who cares, he was a little rough.” Grim said shrugging.

    “No, Grim, your father was my last real relationship. He wasn’t a hook up, he was my boyfriend for a year and a half.” She said more seriously.

    “So, what did he know about me? Did he leave? Did he hurt you?” he asked.

    “We broke up because he was abusive, he stalked me and would follow me after that. I had restraining orders and everything and he still found ways to mentally abuse me. He’d send me letters, and watch my house…and one night he followed me at night and raped me.” She said shaking a bit. Grim stayed silent and looked at the floor. “I wanted an abortion, but I couldn’t afford it, and my mother begged me.” She said holding her arm. She took a gulp of her drink. Grim poured himself some more. They stayed silent for a long time.

     “I remind you of him.” Grim said quietly.

     “You do. You look just like him, you sound just like him, and every time I look at you I remember all of that pain I went though and how scared I was. I was forced to give birth to my rapist’s child.” She said quietly.

     “Do you know how unfair that is to me?” Grim uttered in her stillness. “Right from the beginning, all you have felt for me is hate for the fault of another guy.” He said shaking his head.

     “I never meant to. It’s just so hard.” Tears ran down her face into her glass.

     “Oh yeah, real fucking hard to learn not to hit your kid, or burn them, or remember to feed them.” He said ragefully bubbling up again. He got up and walked to his room.

     “Grim.” She said quietly.

     “No, go fuck yourself.” He said shutting his door. He rolled up on his bed and sobbed for a bit. The tequila fueled the flow of his tears, the salty taste a reminder of all of the shit going through his mind. He stayed in his room until around noon the following day.

    His mother pushed his door open quietly as he was sleeping and sat beside him on the bed. She touched his arm softly, he jumped, startled.

    “What are you doing in my room?” he asked pushing away from her

    “It’s my house, technically it’s my room.” She said defensively.

    “what do you want?” he asked with his heavy eyelids hanging low in misery and dry from hours of alcohol exaggerated tears and a hangover.

     “I just wanted to check on you, make sure you’re okay.” She said looking meek.

      “I’m fine.” He said coldly. She looked around the room sadly.

     “I guess you’ll want to take this stuff with you when I take you back.” She said quietly looking around the room, places where he had torn wallpaper off, his posters plastered crooked on the walls.

     “Yeah, I guess.” He said quietly.

      “I didn’t mean to upset you last night.” She said looking at his green eyes.

      “last night isn’t what’s bothering me.” He said shaking his head.

       “I’m a horrible mom, I know. I’ve always been afraid of you.” She said quietly.

       “Afraid isn’t what I’d call it. It’s spite.” He said curling up in the corner of the bed.

       “I just knew what you were.” She said shaking.

        “what I was? What I was was a baby, a child, that you took responsibility for. Don’t play the guilt card on me.” He said bitterly.

       “I didn’t ask or plan to get pregnant, Grim, I was raped, I brought a child into the world that was half victim and half rapist.” She said shaking her head.

       “Don’t fucking talk about me that way, oh yeah big sob story from twenty years ago about how you were the victim for a few minutes. I’ve been the victim my whole life. Does it give you closure, or power to do what you did to me?” he asked.

       “I don’t know.” She said getting emotional. “I just keep getting wrapped up in memories every time I looked at you.” She said with tears falling.

        “I didn’t ask to look like my dad, I didn’t’ ask to be abused, I didn’t ask to be born into this life, I didn’t ask to be born at all. I’m nothing to you but regret.” He said between his teeth. “and you dare to play the victim here? After telling me that I should have been aborted? That you can’t stand even being around me? When I have done nothing wrong, and had my innocence destroyed due to your neglect and abuse.” She had tears falling once more. “Why are you even opening up to me about it?” Grim said glaring at her.

        “Like you said, you have the right to know, and I’ve been going to a councelor lately.” She said wiping the tears from her face.

         “I’m glad.” He said shaking.

        “I’m trying to be better.” She said brushing her hair out of her face.

         “The damage is done, mother. I’m always going to be fucked up because I have been for years already. As soon as I’m eighteen don’t even bother any more, I wont be coming around.” He said in a harsh voice.

          “Can we just try to get along, just for the holiday? One really good year?” she asked.

         “The first and last, I’m sure.” He said looking at her. She nodded and got up. She left the room sniffling. Grim rolled over and tried to go back to sleep, fueled by depression.

[deadsy-doodle-blog]

 PUNK ROCK RUINED MY LIFE

SECTION EIGHT

      The next day at school Grim talked with Oasis. “I’m going to my mom’s for the Christmas break.” He said to her as they sat against the wall at the end of the hall, which was rather secluded.  

      “Oh, I was hoping you’d be able to come to our Christmas dinner.” She said looking disappointed a little.

       “I can come over tonight, if that’s alright.” He said putting an arm around her and kissing the side of her head.

      “Yeah.” She said with a smile.

       “I’ll need a ride. Bus again today.” He said rubbing his arm.

        After school ended Oasis took him to her home and they enjoyed dinner with her family, they were starting to get more used to Grim being in the picture, though he was starting to pipe up a little more with his odd warm yet abrasive personality. Later that night on the way to Grim’s temporary home with his grandmother the young couple pulled over and messed around in the backseat for a bit. Oasis was very shy but Grim was patient and respectful of her, about as classy as he could be in the back seat of a Volkswagen beetle. Once back into the front seats still a little hot and bothered but running short on time, Grim started sort of chuckling to himself as Oasis put her car into drive and the windows started to defog.

     “What?” Oasis asked blushing, he shook his head and bit his lip not wanting to tell her. “What? Did I do something weird? I don’t know what I’m doing. What is so funny?” she asked in embarrassed giggles. “I haven’t done anything with anyone besides making out, that was my first time with stuff like that.”

      “I’ll be honest, half of that, you were working yourself up on my belt buckle.” He said with a chuckle.

       “Oh my god.” She covered her mouth. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

       “Nah, you were liking it.” He grinned. “I didn’t wanna be a buzz kill.” He added as he looked between her red cheeks and the dark road illuminated by the headlights of her car.

      She dropped him off at his grandma’s house, he ran to the driver side and leaned in her window. “Hey, thanks.” He said looking at her sweetly with love in his eyes. He dipped his head through the open window, kissed her quickly on the lips, then turned her head into the light.

      “Oh shit.” his jagged grin cracked across his lips.

      “What?” she asked.

     “I gave you a BIG ass hickey.” He said looking at it with a grin. She rubbed her hand over it and her eyes went wide as she felt her tender flesh and the heat coming from the mark. “It’s not that bad. Put some ice on it and massage it a little.” He said kissing her forehead sweetly, then thumping the car as a goodbye. “See you at school.” He said backing away from her car slowly and wandering inside. He said goodnight to his grandmother as she was reading and went up to his room thinking of Oasis.

[deadsy-doodle-blog]

 PUNK ROCK RUINED MY LIFE

SECTION SEVEN 

       At school as the days got cold Grim mostly wore the same beanie, the same thick jacket, and the same old dirty jeans while most other kids were dawning brand new sets of winter clothing. He met up with Oasis in the hall and kissed her sweetly while toting his guitar to his music class before the bell. Her winter coat was that sort of fake edgy punk, but she still looked like a badass.

      “You’re on time.” She smiled.

       “I have a class to care about.” Grim said tucking his hand into her back pocket as they walked to the end of the hall. He stepped into the band room and locked up his guitar. He came back out and grabbed Oasis by the belt loops. He smooched her playfully, he felt really good today. He walked with her to her first class of the day.

      Once there he kissed her goodbye and wandered the halls back to his class. They met up at lunch again.

      “Hey, you wanna get out of here? Go get something?” Grim asked. She nodded looking at the school’s boring menu.

      “I took the bus, you have your car today?” he asked.

      “Yeah, come on.” She said getting her coat out of her locker just down the hall on their way out. They ran through the deep snow out to her yellow bug. He got into her passenger side and switched the CD player to his music. He turned it up and rolled down the window and lit a cigarette. Oasis drove slowly to the traffic light and stopped on the red light. Grim noticed a kid that owed him some money.

      “Thursday, douche!” he yelled out of the window of the bug, Oasis starting giggling hysterically. “What?” he asked sitting back down and mopping his hair out of his eyes.

      “You’re funny. Trying to be intimidating while riding passenger in a bug.” She turned looking at him still gigging.

      “That fuck owes me.” Grim said in a breath of smoke that escaped through the window.

      They went into a fast food place and ordered some burgers and fries. Grim grabbed the bag after paying and they went back to the car. He sipped on his hot coffee and sighed from the warmth in the cold air. They made it back to the lunch room and sat down with the snow on their shoulders melting. Grim wolfed down his food as Oasis took her time.

       “Why do you eat like that?” she asked.

       “I’m an animal.” He said licking his fingers. “No, I just grew up not having enough to eat most of the time as a kid. It’s a habit.” He said shrugging, not really wanting to talk about it. Oasis kind of cleared her throat.

        “I’m sorry.” She said feeling bad for him.

        “No it’s alright, I learned to deal.” He said shaking his head.  Oasis finished up and Grim threw away their garbage for her. “You have something right here.” He said rubbing his stubble. She wiped her face.

       “Missed.” He said with a smile. “Missed again.” He commented. “Here.” He said leaning toward her. She prepared for a kiss on the cheek, instead he leaned in closely and licked her face. He looked at her smiling with his jagged grin.

        “Ew.” She said wiping his spit from her cheek.

        “More where that came from.” He said licking his lips.

       “Gross.” Oasis laughed hard. Grim smiled and held her hand. The bell rang to head back to class again.

       “Fucky.” Grim said making a pouty face.

      “Later.” She said kissing him goodbye before heading back to her class. After the school day was finally over Grim got home from school and his mother was at his grandma’s house again. His heart started pumping and the hair on the back of his neck raised up again. He felt nervous sweat pooling on his back as he went up the steps to the door. A migraine shot through his head and the pain coursed into his sinuses. He took a deep breath and turned the door knob.

       “I want you home for Christmas.” She said immediately as he walked through the door. Grim stopped in his tracks, swiveled around and walked back out into the cold. He heard the door open and slam after him once he had sat down on the steps. His mother slapped the back of his head as she passed down the steps and turned to face him at the bottom.

       “Careful, it’s cold out, you might want to put some clothes on.” He said lighting a cigarette nervously, his fingers trembled and his mouth struggled to extend the cigarette to light. He puffed in and it started to finally burn, his stomach tightened and his lungs burned with that anxious inhale.

       “I talked to grandma and she agrees that you need to be with your family on Christmas.” She said extending her fingers to him, plucking the cigarette from his lip and putting it in her mouth. She puffed deeply on it and blew the smoke to her side.

        “Bitch.” He said digging into the back in his breast pocket for another out and lighting it. He inhaled that first drag shakily and the nicotine went directly to his head and stomach.

        “Don’t talk to me like that.” She scolded taking a drag of her own.

         “Grandma really wants me home for Christmas?” he asked. “Let me ask her myself.” He said glaring at her with the smoke billowing out of his lip.

        “Oh you don’t even trust me?” she said shivering.

        “No not really.” He said with the cigarette taught in his lip, it bobbed with his stifled words.

       “Just for a few days.” She said looking for sympathy.

        “You’re just looking for a baby sitter while you go out and fuck some dude.” He said looking at her while he flicked his ash away.

        “This year is going to be different.” She said shaking her head.

         “It’s been a tradition mom, me and Sara wake up on Christmas and get new clothes from grandma, and our mom is hung over all day because she was up all night at the bar picking up guys.” He said wiping his brow as he held the cigarette loosely in his other hand.

        “I swear, I’ve changed. It’s been so different since you’ve left home.” She said sticking her cigarette filter in the snow.

        “I’ll come home for the time I’m out of school, then I’m coming back here.” He said looking at her coldly.

        “Alright. I’ll pick you up next week on Wednesday.” She said brushing past him up the stairs. She hugged her arms over her cold torso trying to shield her skin through her sheer sweater and bra. Grim followed a few moments later and his grandmother smiled at him as he came through the door.

         “He’s coming home for a week.” His mother said with a smile between them. She picked Sara up by the arm and said it was time to go back home. She took her out to their beat up car and they drove out of sight.

         “Just give me a call if you need to come back.” His grandma said kindly.

         “Is this because I’m a handful?” he asked looking at her with apologetic eyes.

          “No, mijo, going home shouldn’t be a punishment. I’m just hoping it will help you patch things up.” She said holding his hand tenderly.

          “I can’t wait until I turn eighteen. So I can just get out of everyone’s hair.” He said rubbing his head.

         “You don’t need to move out right when you turn eighteen.”

         “No, I want to. I’m independent. I’ve already claimed that with my mom, and I’m sorry for mooching off of you for this year.” He sighed.

[deadsy-doodle-blog]

PUNK ROCK RUINED MY LIFE

SECTION SIX

      A few weeks passed with Thanksgiving. He spent the holiday with his grandmother who made her own recipe of homemade tamales and tortillas. The season had changed to winter time in the blink of an eye. Grim was doing well, he was happy with his grandmother.

    She was starting to show Grim old family album photos from when he was a baby, most of the pictures he wasn’t being held by his mother at all, it was usually either his grandmother or his grandfather who had passed away from cancer when Grim was about ten. He had taught him how to play guitar during the times when he would stay over with his grandparents while his young mother would be out partying every weekend.

    “Did you teach my mom Spanish at all?” Grim asked looking up from the album after seeing all of the Hispanic relatives he couldn’t remember.

    “No, your grandfather only spoke English so I never really spoke much Spanish after we were married. Just to my family.” She said as Grim thumbed through the pictures.

    “How do you say ‘dumbass’ in Spanish?” Grim asked.

    “Cabrón.” She said with a slight smile.

    “Really?” Grim laughed. “You’re always after me for swearing.”

    “Ah, you don’t listen, hermoso.”

     “Can you teach me any more Spanish?” Grim asked with a smile. She chuckled.

      “You should know some kind words to go with what you want, loco.” She smiled as he got to the parts in his book with pictures of his birthday when he was 5, he didn’t look happy. “That was the year your mama made her own plan, huh, angelito.” Grim nodded his head solemnly. He hadn’t known that all of his bad memories had a photograph. He took a deep breath and closed the book.

     “Do you remember that was the year your grandfather started to teach you how to play guitar?” she asked.

    “Hmm, yeah.” Grim answered.

    “Well…tocar.” She said with a smile.

    “What?” Grim asked with his brows raising and his ears swiveling to the side in confusion.

    “Tocar la guitarra.” She rolled off her tongue.

    “Play? Play the guitar?” Grim asked getting off the couch as she nodded.

    “Not that electric basura, let me find your grandfather’s guitar.” She said getting up after him. He followed her into her bedroom, it was neat and photos of his mother in her youth and his grandfather sat at the nightstand. Snapshots of Grim and Sara sat at the other side that she slept on. She opened her closet doors and looked to the top, she turned the light on to see better.

   “Will you bring up a chair?” she asked her grandson. Grim ambled away and returned up the stairs with a wooden stool. He placed it down in the closet and got up onto it, balancing as his grandmother pointed to the guitar case. She watched as he pulled it off the overhead shelf and some flurries of dust snowed down. Grim hopped off the stool with the guitar case.

    Grim unzipped the bag and looked at some notebooks and random sheets of music that were tattered and yellow.

     “He used to write his own too.” She smiled at him as he thumbed through them. He recognized a few that he began learning with.  He put the books and sheets aside then lifted the guitar up out of the case. He rand his thumb over it and listened to the notes, it was a little out of tune.

     He sat on the edge of his grandmother’s bed as she did the same and watched as he gently tuned it by ear. He started strumming notes to a song that his grandfather used to play very often, he remembered it from memory as it was the first full song he had learned to play. His grandmother watched with teary eyes as the sounds of her life came to ear from her grandson’s fingers.

     “It’s been so long since I’ve heard that song.” She said with a little smile. Grim smiled sweetly at her and hugged his arm to her back in solace.

      As the new trimester of school started Grim had learned a lot from his grandmother in their time off. He learned how to sew patches onto his jackets more securely. His grandmother had sat down with him and taught him several hand stitching techniques, her frail old hands and old eyes struggled a little but she never missed a park with her stitch. She was teaching Grim a little bit of Spanish, and he would play his grandfather’s songs for her in return.

[deadsy-doodle-blog]

PUNK ROCK RUINED MY LIFE

SECTION FIVE

      At the end of Grim’s first visit to the Cole home Oasis walked him out to his bike and kissed him goodnight on the front step. Grim smiled at her after she pulled away from her smooch and he lifted her chin back up with a gentle hand and kissed her again, a little softer and a little more sensual. Her fingers wrapped around the back of his neck as they kissed. Grim’s eye was caught by the flickering porch light and he pulled his lips away from hers. “I uh, better go.” He said with a smile looking back at the door as Oasis blushed beet red. She moved her hair out of her face and nodded her head.

     “See you at school.” He said before hugging her lightly and briskly walking back to his bike. He swung his leg over and revved his bike up before turning it out of the driveway as Oasis went back inside and the porch light turned off.

     Grim ripped his bike through town to his grandmother’s house and pulled into the driveway next to his mother’s beat up car with a brand new windshield.

     “Fuck me.” He said as he went up to the door, he begrudgingly pushed it open and stepped inside. His mother was sitting in the front room near the lamp.

     “Mom.” Grim said passing through the room.

     “Grim.” She said glancing up at him. He went upstairs and closed the door in his room. He plucked at his guitar for a while, nervously trying to figure out what to say. His grandmother must have told his mother that he was staying with her. She hadn’t even tried to come around until tonight. His grandmother came up and knocked on the door gingerly.

     “Your mother wants to talk with you, mijo.” She said quietly. He looked up at her and nodded. He silently got up and went back down to the living room, he just about forced himself to even look at her. He grinded his teeth down to bear the thought of her.

     “you’re looking well.” She said quietly looking at her son’s face.

     “Yeah.” He said sitting down on the couch.

     “Still smoking?” she asked.

      “Yeah, I’ve kicked some of the hard stuff though. Pretty much just weed and cigarettes now.” He said quietly checking so his grandma wont hear.

      “Ready to come home?” she asked leaning back.

      “Not a chance.” He said getting defensive.

     “You’re my god damn kid.” She said feeding off of his negativity.

     “I hated my life when I lived with you. I have a good thing going here.” He said standing up.

     “You belong at home with me and your sister.” She said looking up at him.

     “But I deserve to be happy. I’m finally fucking happy, mom. Is that so bad?” he said getting tears welling up.

     “Don’t start bawling.” She raised her voice.

     “Just leave me alone.” He said putting his hands on his head.

     “This isn’t fair to your grandma. You think she wants to take care of you?” she said getting mad.

     “At least somebody does. I’ve been independent since I was five. Fucking five, mother. You hardly buy food, we got by on my drug money, I paid for my baby sister to eat at school, I taught her math, like what the hell?” he said going red in the face. His grandmother entered the room gently feeling the tension in the room.

     “Everything okay in here?” she asked looking worried.

     “Mom, just stay out of it.” She flipped her anger.

     “Grim, Mi cielito  you are welcome to stay as long as you need. You’ve been so much help to me.”

     “Mom, you don’t need to lie. He’s on drugs, he hardly goes to school.”

     “Grim goes to school every day and he’s been doing fairly well. He’s been getting clean slowly and has always been more than willing to do my errands.” She said defending him.

     “I’m staying here.” He said crossing his arms and holding his hands into fists of rage. She got up and slammed the front door to the house on her way out.

     “She just left Sara here.” Grim said shaking his head.

     “She’s fine. Asleep upstairs.”  She said quietly.

     “Grandma, I’m sorry if I’m a pain in the butt.” He said looking stressed.

     “No chico, you’re just fine.” She said hugging him.

     “She just makes me mad. You know?” he said putting his jacket on.

     “Going out?” she asked.

     “Just for a few minutes. Need some air.” He said opening the door. He sat down at the curb and lit up a cigarette. He puffed on it for a bit while pulling out a bag of cocaine. He sighed and got his wallet out, he pulled the razor blade out of the pocket and chopped the drug up smaller, he made a line  on the back of his wallet and snorted it.

      “Ugg.” He grimaced, sniffing to clear his nose a little bit more. He wiped his face with his hands and smeared the tears out of his eyes.  He put his cigarette back in his mouth and puffed again. A car drove by slowly and he felt their glare. He flipped his finger up at the car.  He heard he car honk at him. “Yeah, fuck you too!” he yelled out. He picked himself up off the curb and went inside, feeling out of body.

     “I really wish you’d stop smoking.” His grandmother said sipping a cup of tear looking out the window.

      “Sorry, I can’t help it. Bad habits die hard. I’m under a lot of stress.” He mumbled rubbing his face again.

      “Tell me about this girl you’ve met.” She said changing the subject.

      “She’s officially the girlfriend. I met her parents earlier today, she’s a really good girl. She get’s good grades, she’s got dark hair and blue eyes, she’s sweet, kind of brings out the good in me, you know?” he said sitting down on the couch.

      “Don’t get her into any trouble. Keep her, she sounds like a good one.” His grandmother said kindly.

      “I plan on it.” He said in a sigh.

      “You should bring her over one day, I want to meet her.” She said sipping her tea.

       “Yeah. I’m gonna go to bed.” He said getting up feeling very high.

       “Goodnight.” She watched concerned as he went up the stairs. He sat down on the bed and stared at the wall for a long time. He started shaking thinking about his mother’s behavior. He got up and went into his grandma’s room to check on his little sister, still fast asleep.

        “She’s alright.” His grandma whispered as she came up the stairs slowly.

      “Just wanted to make sure.” He said quietly going back to his room. He laid down and stared into space for a while.

[deadsy-doodle-blog]

PUNK ROCK RUINED MY LIFE

SECTION FOUR

           After a few months had passed Grim had saved enough gig money up and bought a motorcycle, tired of bumming rides from friends. Grim was also starting to win Oasis’ heart over. Her shy personality started to blossom in his company, they were officially a couple after a short time. Oasis invited him to have dinner with her family one day after school let out.

         “Yeah, babe.” He said helping her up from the hallway floor where they sat to talk at school often. He walked her over to his motorcycle. He got onto his bike and revved it up. He waited for her to hop on and she wrapped her arms around his stomach to hold on. “Just tell me where to go.” He said yelling over his shoulder as he started to maneuver the bike out of the high school parking lot. She gave him directions to her house. It was a big white two floor building with flowery bushes and shrubs, a bay window and a willow tree out back. Oasis got off the bike and waited for him to follow as he turned the key out and the bike popped and sizzled with heat. She tucked her arm under his and entered the home. Her family was scattered within the home each doing their own thing.

      “Wow, nice place.” He said looking around. A tall palomino with a muscular build got up from the couch on the opposite wall.

      “Daddy, this is my boyfriend, Grim.” Oasis said leaning on Grim’s leather clad shoulder. The palomino looked him over, looking unimpressed.

      “Cache.” He said  reaching out and shaking his hand. His grip was very firm and Grim did his best not to give him a floppy fish handshake.

     “He’s staying for dinner.” Oasis said with a smile. A little white and gray mare assumed to be her mother walked into the room with a towel in her hand, drying her fingers with a big grin on her face.

     “Hi Honey, who’s your friend?” she said with a smile.

     “Grim, my boyfriend.” She said sweetly. Grim reached out to shake her hand with a grin. She laughed genuinely and shook his hand with her dainty damp fingers.

     “I’m Aqua, Oasis’ mom. Like spaghetti?” she asked warmly. Grim nodded his head.

      “You have a really nice home, Mrs. Cole.” He said in a raspy nervous voice, he tried to clear his throat to no avail.

     “Oh it’s messy, I need to do a little deep cleaning.” She smiled.

     “No really, it’s nice.” He laughed feeling a bit uncomfortable in such a clean and welcoming home. There were so many pictures of them on the wall as an entire family. They didn’t have some kind of bleakness of their own like the few at his mother’s house did.

     “Come take a seat kids, it’s about ready.” Aqua said with a grin. Pretty soon Oasis’s brothers came down as well. Her older brother apparently just got back from his football practice, he looked to be about eighteen. He wore the stereotypical jock ensemble, a jersey, a snapback hat, and a douchebag haircut. Her little brother was about four or five years younger, he looked mostly like their father apart from having glasses. They all had the same blue eyes as Oasis except for her father. His were a deep caramel color of distaste. Her mother told them to all come and dish up, Grim’s train of observation was interrupted by the thought of food in a functional family setting.

      “Guests first, sweetie.” Aqua said rubbing the little brother’s shoulders.

      “No it’s alright, man. Little guy’s gotta eat.” Grim laughed waving him on. Grim grabbed his plate last and sat down on the end next to Oasis. She smiled at him with rosy cheeks and patted his knee, telling him to relax.

     “You go to school with Oasis?” Cache asked.

     “yeah, her one class is next to mine.” He spoke between bites of food.

      “We have math classes at the same time.” Oasis giggled.

      “tell us a little about you.” Mrs. Cole said with a smile looking into his jade eyes.

        “I’m in a band. I just moved here about four months ago.” He said eating his food quickly.

       “A band? What do you play?” Splash, Oasis’s older brother asked.

        “Punk rock, mostly.” He said reaching for a breadstick a little hesitantly. He gobbled his food a little quicker than he had planned.

        “There’s more if you’re still hungry.” Mrs. Cole said kindly and Cache took a sip from his beer and cleared his throat.

        “Sure. This is really, really good.” Grim said getting up and getting another serving from the kitchen. He sat down and kissed Oasis’s cheek quickly. She blushed and her long eye lashes fell to her plate then back to him.

        “Did you all grow up in this area?” Grim asked eating quickly again.

        “Yeah, for the most part. Cache and I are from Riverton.” Mrs. Cole said sweetly. 

        “Small town, huh?” Grim asked with a nod. “I’m a city kid. I used live in Price with my mom.”

        “Your parents are separated?” Cache asked looking concerned, taking a break from his spaghetti.

         “Not exactly.” He started. “My dad bailed when I was little. I’m living with my grandma right now. My little sister still lives with my mom.” He said scratching his head. Cache looked at him and his wife in disapproval.

         “Well if you need any help or a good meal feel free to come by.” Mrs. Cole said with a kind heart. Cache looked at her and Grim rubbed his arm, feeling his ears flick back and burn in embarrassment.

         “Thank you.” He said awkwardly. After dinner and cleaning it all up Grim and Oasis stepped outside into the backyard. “I feel so stupid.” Grim said quietly to her.

         “Don’t. My mom likes you.” She said with a smile.

       “Your dad thinks I’m a douche.” He laughed.

        “I’m his little girl. It’s hard for him to see me with anyone.” She said hugging her arm around him as they sat on the back deck steps.

       “God I could really use a stogie.” He said grabbing his kneecaps and letting out a heavy sigh. Oasis patted him on the back and smiled at him. They went back inside and sat down in the living room. Cache turned his attention from the football game on TV to them.

      “Grim, can I have a word.” He asked tiredly.

      “sure.” He said as Oasis left the room quietly. He felt some sweat building up on his back, her father was intimidating, a military tattoo peeked out of his shirt sleeve on the arms that most likely had taken lives.

      “Are you on drugs?” Cache asked looking him in the eye. Cache’s brow was taught and his face was very serious.

      “What?” Grim asked with a little laugh.

      “You heard me.” He said quietly.

      “No sir.” He lied shaking his head.

      “It had better be the truth.” Cache said looking at his dark ringed eyes.

       “It is.” Grim said through his teeth.

       “Don’t you dare hurt my daughter in any way. You treat her with respect and kindness at all times. Are we clear?” he said with his eyes piercing through Grim.

      “Of course.” Grim said holding his ground and looking back just as seriously with a small nod of his head.