deardairywassup-blog

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How will be my today's day: Eight of pentacles

Basically I will be doing hardwork today naiceeee I mean I know this already because I know the circumstance ;-; but being told by my deck it hits different. Is all I am saying.

Bro I really did get work a bitch is busy today damn how it knows? Oooof did a cute lil stuff for dad then talked to flipkart wlla now probably going to go out shopping with mom? Also I mean I knew I will be handling kushal.

Yesterday I had gotten 4 of swords, death card and the lovers (but the lovers was away from the two) I had seen it as the end of something or a beginning and 4 of swords was some kind of contemplation and lovers was the cards telling me I have a choice and I get to choose my path and whatever I choose god and spirits will be there to help me. Honestly what had happened was just like the 4 of swords I was lying on my bed crying felt internally dead yet free because a realisation had come to me and I didn't make a choice per se but I just understand somebody up there is watching me do whatever I do. I do not know why I had that realisation or how but it just happened and yeah there is that.

I see why people say to do energy check on a daily basis it helps you learn tarot through your own experiences. Interesting. It's weird that I subconsciously know what will happen. Humans are weird yet fascinating and I still want to learn how this works? Do we just put our own meaning into it? Or does our brain knows stuff and it communicates. I can't wait to get my new deck I will use both but I will learn properly with that one because I won't be googling images every minute and I will get to see it up close.

Also weirdly enough even if it doesn't work sounds like history to me. Painting from that time. Sounds pretty interesting.

I know there were decks that were cheaper but I couldn't make myself buy them just because of the thought if those didn't work they would just be wasted money but if these wouldn't work they would be historic pieces and like that after a month of overthinking I finally bought them because they have been haunting my dream and I hate when that happens. It literally annoys me when my brain can't make sense of something I find fascinating. Ishhhhh.

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1) Page of pentacles

2) the hierophant

3) 9 of sword

4) strength

5) 9 of wands

6) knight of cups reversed

Tomorrow will be: 3 of wands

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Past: page of pentacles

Interpretation: colours- Red, green, brown, yellow, blue

Present: queen of cups

Interpretation: colours- yellow, green, grey, black, white, red,

Future: knight of wands + lovers

I will edit this later bro this too much work

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How the fuck is the high priestess card so fucking sexual? Uuuuuuhhhhhhh like how?????

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Heh

Look at this... 👀 https://pin.it/7tlFBrQ

1: the world card

2: 6 of swords

3: Justice + two of wands

4: knight of swords

5: three of wands

6: page of wands

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1) 10 of cups

2) 4 of pentacles

3) 2 of wands

4) justice

5) 3 of wands (rev)

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I literally am having another anxiety attack and yo how do you ground yourself?

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I just want to cry and I dunno melt? I really can't deal with the pain but it would take a lot more to get rid of me life.

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I need therapy I will try one session even if it's for 600 meri genuinely tabeyaat kharrab lg rhi hai it's like so many things and they have all just I dunno collided

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I am in shock and what about it?

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Also I had taken the whole I am a queen joke way too far need to chill xD my Kundali calls me a king ;-; a warrior king at that 😤 a very hoe-y warrior king. Also me need alone time bro fuck everything and everyone. All can fuck off for all I care my energy is getting wasted on things it should have not been wasted on just because I have this I need to save everyone but myself thing going on. I swear my fucking wish to save people is so harmful to me I should have gone into social work my fucking counsellor was correct but a bitch needs money to survive and social work does not fetch money ;-; damn my personality do be doing wack stuff to my already saxxiii as fuck mental health. Dare someone die on me I will fucking kill them in my next life. Will be born as a rich as fuckkkkk dude in next life and will kidnap all these hoes and make sure they end up remembering this life.

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I lost my other tumblr accounts but got this one back and deleted insta but I need to rant so yoooooooooo guess who's back? Shady's back.