deargemi

[deargemi]

Entry#2

10-08-24

That was the night i decided to try shifting again,but this time with a firm belief it in not just as a silly girl thinking she have magic and could do it at will when actually there was a part of her who doesn't believe in it.

And so i lay there with earpods in my ears as i listen to a guided meditation in youtube, among that girl's various method video i decided to go with 'word method'.

I lay comfortably in my bed most comfortable that i ever was before,specially as she started making me do the breathing for relaxation.

And then counting started....

1...

2...

3...

4...

5...

6...

7...

8...

9...

10...

As she counted my mind was occupied with thoughts that i would finally see them,i would hear their laughters,sees the horror of shock in their faces,and feel their warmth under my fingertips.

And then it reaches to....

16...

17...

18...

19...

20...

Each number that she lets out my heart was jumping from so much excitements.My body started feeling heavier and heavier,my eyes feels like they were glued,it was a weird feeling but i took it as a good sign.

28...

29...

30...

As i hear the number 30,my heavy body started feeling light almost as if i am floating, i couldn't open my eyes to see but i was sure that i am not longer in my room as i can sense the surrounding slowly changing like i am inside a world where the time moves 100times slower and everything is in slow motion.

I want to feel excited to the point where i would jump in happiness,however it seems like energy started to leave my body drowsiness was filling me.

39...

40...

As she said 40,i was sure i did fell asleep a little still i tried my best to stay away and say the words slowly with her.I was determined i must go through all the number till the hundred.

However as i finished the words,my consciousness fully collapses and ended up falling asleep.

46...

58...

66...

I still heard a few numbers but was too sleepy to continue staying awake,so i just hope that maybe i would wake up in my desired reality.

I didn't know how much time had passed, slolwy i opened my eyes and....

Lights!?

But there's no way for my room to have lights seeping through.

But before i could celebrate and fully opened my eyes and let everything to fully sinks in, i heard a very loud sounds in my ears.The guide meditation video is done and it automatically switch to another video.

It took me moments to realized that i had almost made it if it wasn't for youtube automatically playing another video after the other.

At that time i was filled with mix emotions, but all i could think about was finally i am closer to witnessing it.

,little yana.

[deargemi]

Entry#1,

Last year i came across a tiktok video about shifting and thought 'oh that was cool i am sure i will be able to do that too since i used to lucid dreams when i was in high school',but after a few try i was immediately humbled.

I was so frustrated,i couldn't figure out what was wrong?Well it sounds easy and it almost like how lucid dreaming is.And so i thought 'Ah i was so stupid,maybe it is just an inside joke or something',i mean shifting into another reality you desires definitely sounds like an absurd thing.

Then a year later here i am.

Maladaptive daydreaming is a part of me,i do it all the time when eating,bathing,peeing, before going bed,as long as my mind isn't occupied.

Until a few months ago,i was daydreaming of a certain scenario that i would definitely sell my first child to the devil just to witness it happen,a scenario where i want to be there so bad and not just imagine it.And for some reason the first thought that came to me was 'shifting' not lucid dreaming that i have already achieved before.

I shook it off my mind and went with my life trying to look for a way to find a genie who would grant my wish to witness that scenario personally,to hear their laughters,see their reaction,and to feel their warmth with my own hands.

It came to the point that it feels like i am going crazy,all i have in my mind is that same scenario repeating in my head like a broken tape.My longing to personally witness everything is consuming me.

Then last week i came across a tiktok video about shifting,there was no tags or any caption just a girl talking about how she shifted the night before.And i feel like 'maybe god has pitied me and give me the answers to my ridiculous prayers'.

However remembering my previous failed attempt,i decided to do more research about it and finally when i was ready i decided that i wanna go into this world,maybe shifting is for me.

Filled with hope,expectations,and confidence the silly little me lay on her bed the other night hoping to shift in the reality she was desiring the most.

,little yana.

(To anyone who may came across this i am so sorry for my bad english it isn't my first language.I just wanna share my experience here hoping to find help and assistance in this journey,and i thought it would be cute to put it in a diary format as it also serves as my collection of memories to this journey.

Thank you so much for reading)