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god please dont make me have to learn french
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the delicate balance between wanting to prove yourself as a legitimate researcher vs the awareness of the $12/hour undergraduate pay
#probably couldve talked my way into getting paid over the max next semester#IF IT WASNT FOR /SOMEONE/#/JEOPARDIZING ACADEMIC RESEARCH FUNDING/
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favorite method of finding new media obsessions: read weird porn with zero context thats at least 75% removed from the source material and become juuusssttt intrigued enough from the remaining 25% plausibly canon bits to go Hunting
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roommate come home at fuck o clock pm with her bf and make an ATTEMPT at being quiet challenge: Level [IMPOSSIBLE]
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me, being productive and studying: :)
the post-it note poetry from 9 hour shifts in a dead ass mall:
me, now experiencing emotions: :(
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FUCK
please dont be scamming me
please dont be scamming me
please dont be scamming me
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please dont be scamming me
please dont be scamming me
please dont be scamming me
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the difference between quiet contemplation and spiraling really is just sunshine huh
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oh wow were yearning
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aw man there's the shoe dropping
#knew that bitch was dangling somewhere#somehow recognizing it like this makes it that littlest bit easier
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just went through a whole character arc in an hour and now i need therapy
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if this is what grief feels like i want to go back to not feeling much
#low empathy was an easier struggle than this is#i love her but i just realized i dont know her as much as i wish i did#and what if i dont have much time left to find it all out
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ok why is the woman who left my application review on read for 2 weeks more accepting and encouraging of me than my own parents
#acknowledging my being autistic and nonbinary and not delegitimizing either???#respecting my pronouns???#TELLING ME SHES PROUD OF ME IN A WAY WHERE I CAN BELIEVE IT????#what the hell lady i was talking mad shit about the tight timeframes you left me with and you pull this shit????#im going to be thinking of this for months
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when you go through all that to go from an H to a B/C only to end up back at a DD a few years later
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damn did NOT realize you could cum so hard your abs hurt
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aw fuck it/its is sounding pretty good rn
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it was different when i didnt know otherwise
everything i learnt about how to interact with others was used to seed empty ground
lovely friendships bloomed
but isolated uprooted me
and now im tripping over empty holes when i run to catch up
across what was once even ground
#MAN U ACCIDENTLY MAKE FRIENDS FOR THE FIRST REAL TIME IN HS#LEARN HOW TO PEOPLE#THEN GRADUATE AND END UP ALONE FOR 5-6 YEARS#AND RLY JUST FORGET EVERYTHING ABOUT HOW U DID IT HUH#fr its so much worse knowing that i USED to know how to do this#compared to when i was learning for the first time
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