deathby-discozombies - Tumblr blog

[deathby-discozombies]

Tiny drunk people

or…you know… kids. In my 27 years of being on this planet, I have learned that children are very complex creatures. But they also have similarities of adults which can be a good or bad thing. But one thing that has remained constant in my research is that the younger the child, the crazier they are. 

My one year old, for example, is a precious little girl…but she is insane. Specifically when she’s sleepy. She screams, she throws things, starts fights with people way bigger than her. She’s like a tiny drunk old man, that’s 10 seconds away from getting kicked out of a bar. 

When she isn’t sleepy, she’s still a little hellion. Still screaming, or rambling incoherently, but also dancing to no music at all, stumbling about, and getting emotional at every little thing. It reminds me of the first time I had been victimized by tequila. That night ended with me crying because I thought everyone was mean, and then disappearing into my room to pass out in my bed while I had company. 

It’s so hard to reason with someone under the influence of alcohol, much like it is hard to reason with a child who doesn’t understand words yet. There is no “wait a second, I just have to finish this one thing”. In their little drunk minds, it’s RIGHT NOW! Insert random bout of babbling and screaming here. Not to mention how rude they are! 

Kids…tiny drunk people….whatever you call them, be sure to keep a camera rolling. You’ve got at least 18 years of footage to acquire… You know, for blackmail purposes and such.

[deathby-discozombies]

Angry Letters

Women’s fashion industry:

Dear Mr. Women’s Fashion Industry, and I say mister because that would be the only answer as to why women’s clothes are so subpar. I am a woman in America, and I want to know WHY women do not have real pockets in their clothes?! 

As a mom of two girls, my kid’s clothes have better pockets than I do. They are ages 6 and 11 months…. Why does my baby get real pockets but I can’t even have pockets big enough to put my hand, let alone, anything else in?

When my husband and I were together, and we went anywhere in public, he had to carry all of my things in his pockets and he still was able to have his own items in his pockets as well. Women’s pants are especially bad. Not all women carry purses or backpacks. So could we please get pockets big enough to put more than a tube of chapstick in?

[deathby-discozombies]

i’m a firm believer in the fact that you should be able to laugh during sex

[deathby-discozombies]

Pass the blunt to your followers

[deathby-discozombies]

Good morning except for men who fuck fat girls in private but are too ashamed to date them in public.

[deathby-discozombies]

Y’all don’t like Black Women and I’m not here for it. If you don’t like Black Women don’t interact with my blog

[deathby-discozombies]

[deathby-discozombies]

i know i and so many other bi ppl have said this time and time again but really no one cares abt bisexuals but bisexuals and no one wants to change that it seems

erasure of our identity is deemed “discourse”. we have “straight passing privilege.” the community has turned their backs on us for the most part, despite the fact that we are four out of every 10 lgbt people in the us only, despite the fact that we are less likely than gay men/lesbians to be out, and despite the fact that the percentages of bi women (61 percent) and bi men (37 percent) who have been abused by intimate partners are both significantly higher than lesbians (44 percent) and gay men (26 percent.)

i’m sure that the majority of people reblogging this will be bisexuals, and that is my sincere thought, not a guilt trip. i don’t know how to end this but please do better, everyone. that includes bisexuals who make posts shutting down their attraction to men, and those who insist that bi = 2 or cannot include trans or nonbinary people. we are not a perfect community. but that does not give you the right to treat us badly. we shouldn’t stand for what we get and other members of the community NEED to stand with us against this shit.

[deathby-discozombies]

This is how Tiffany Haddish ended her standup special. I’ve never been so happy to be cursed.

[deathby-discozombies]

Black Boy Excellence ✨💫

[deathby-discozombies]

[deathby-discozombies]

Girls Trip (2017)

[deathby-discozombies]

[deathby-discozombies]

A bird explaining to a hedgehog crossing so it doesn’t die.

[deathby-discozombies]

90S MUSIC VECTOR ART. Throwback Thursday

[deathby-discozombies]

El Gato Gomez (@elgatogomez_art)

[deathby-discozombies]

I tell everybody im good cause wtf they going to do if I’m not