deathbypolykin-blog

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my bf has many interesting stories and observations from his new job as a 911 operator

my favorite is how meandering people are, even in the midst of a terrible emergency

they respond to “what is the emergency” with “well, the thing is, four weeks ago–”

and then he’s like “WHAT IS THE EMERGENCY RIGHT NOW”

and they’re like “so what happened this morning was, i said to my wife, i said–”

“WHAT IS CURRENTLY HAPPENING AT THIS MOMENT”

“oh i’m having a heart attack”

my second favorite is how specific he has to get sometimes

like, “what is your emergency?”

“i’m sitting in a pool of blood.”

“… is it�� your blood?”

“yes i think so”

“do you know where it’s coming from?”

“probably the stab wound”

“have you been stabbed?”

“oh yah definitely”

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swagless

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Which crystal gem body type is closest to yours? 

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the type of people the world gives you - 

light:

glows when they talk, dewy eyes, radiates with a blessing from the sun, calm in the air and goodness in their hearts

ocean: 

bodies full of stories, a will that ebbs and flows, lazy smiles, no real devotion to anything but existence itself, wordless lullabies

earth: 

minds like caverns, hands like stone, to hold or to hurt, heavy irises, earthquake tempers, stubborn desire for constant reconstruction

poison: 

an inexplicable sense of sharpness, hot tears, decaying cores, irreversible tornadoes and infectious whispers

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wouldn’t it be neat if everyone’s hair color was based off of their birth stone?? tag what your hair color would be!!!

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this is the greatest thing i’ve ever seen

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tfw you’re on mobile and have to work hard against auto-correct to keep your lowercase aesthetic™

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Guys who think periods are nbd are my favorite guys.

Also:

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pseudo intellectual asshole: “everyone’s taking too many pills. they don’t like to feel, so they take pills. we need to stop taking so many pills and live life.”

my pill taking ass: “i can’t wait for the pill that makes me unable to hear you.”

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2017 better be like a utopian golden age for everyone to make up for this literal flaming trash pile of a year

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ok so i’m kinda curious about something, reblog this and add what the weirdest thing in your room right now is in the tags

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hey microsoft, here’s a tip, don’t make such fucking creepy ads you weirdos

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In the State Farm commercial ‘Never’, a man professes he will never get married, have kids, or buy a minivan, but does all those things. The last thing he says is “I’m never letting go”, implying he’s about to abandon his family.

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Barring a small handful of common-sense exceptions, kids should be allowed to hang out in their room with the door shut, and as they get older, locked. People need to be alone sometimes. That’s just sort of a common experience. This may come as a surprise to some folks, but children & teenagers are people. Sometimes they’ll get sad and they’ll want to be alone. Sometimes they’ll get anxious and they’ll want to be alone. Sometimes they’ll want to be alone and not really have a reason for it; that’s okay, too.

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“Todd why is the office flooded?”

“Aesthetic.”