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[deathmetaldads]

EPISODE 48: DEATH BY THE DAD (with CHAD GAILEY)

Metal festivals: we all hate them. From Psycho Las Vegas to Festum Carnis, these cursed gatherings serve as the bane of every true banger's existence. In this episode, the Dads sit down with Chad Gailey (Necrot, Mortuous, Palace of Worms, Scolex, Atrament, Phrenelith, etc etc etc etc) to get to the bottom of every Parenthead's nightmare scenario: the dreaded FEST. 

Music:

Nunslaughter, "Death By The Dead"

Necrot, "The Blade"

LISTEN

PS Shelby was wrong, there are 4 Nunslaughter full-lengths, not 2.

[deathmetaldads]

EPISODE 47 - LIKE FATHER LIKE SON (with CALVYN & EZRA)

The Dads convene for the very first time on DMD with their own offspring Calvyn and Ezra, resulting in a horrific mishmash of bad movies, bad jokes, dad jokes, Jar Jar Binks, Wilford Brimley, and Gigli Allin. Stereotypes are reinforced, iron is pumped, and topical wisdom is dispensed in this thrill-a-minute crash course in parenting gone wrong!

Music:

Extremity, "Like Father Like Son"

Manowar, "Carry On"

LISTEN

[deathmetaldads]

EPISODE 46 - KILLING ON DADRENALINE

Aesop and Shelby would like to speak to your manager.

Music:

Dying Fetus, "Killing On Adrenaline"

Faun Fables, "Eyes Of A Bird"

LISTEN

[deathmetaldads]

EPISODE 45 - ROT TO DAD (with NICK KATICH)

In today's installment, Aesop and Shelby are joined by their pal Nick Katich (the morbid wizard behind the one-man black metal juggernaut Palace of Worms) to wax moronic about weird Finnish death metal, mispronunciations, selling out, cashing in, fighting The Man, and "sounding like Autopsy". Did you know Nick is a mortician? Yep, and he sure has some crazy fucking stories. So sit back, pour yourself some corpse juice, and have a listen!

Music:

Sentenced, "Rot To Dead"

Palace of Worms "Rot From The Stars"

LISTEN

[deathmetaldads]

EPISODE 44 - BORN DAD (with HARRI KUOKKANEN)

Finland's own Harri Kuokkanen (Hooded Menace, Ride For Revenge, Horse Latitudes, Hail Conjurer) sits down with the Dads for an in-depth discussion on Danzig, weightlifting, Body Count, religion, and the delicate cultural intricacies of pissing in public. Is Ice T the coolest guy ever? Who's going to Aftershock this year? Is America doomed? Does Blue Oyster Cult still "have it" in 2018? What is "it"? Tune in to find out!

Music:

Body Count, "Cop Killer"

Hooded Menace, "Charnel Reflections"

LISTEN

[deathmetaldads]

EPISODE 43 - YOU HAVE A PODCAST

Anal Cunt is a horrible fucking cunt of a band. Ivanka Trump is a fucking cunt. You're a fucking cunt, I'm a cunt, we're all fucking cunts. Who gives a shit?

Music:

Anal Cunt, "Unbelievable"

Extremity, "Grave Mistake"

PS Shelby got John Boorman and John Sayles mixed up, sorry.

LISTEN

[deathmetaldads]

EPISODE 42 - MOMITORY (with JERI SCARDINA)

Good news, Parentheads! The Dads are back with their third annual Mother's Day episode, featuring very very special returning guest Jeri Scardina (Shelby's mom)! How monumental is the occasion? Well, let's just say there was A FUCKING EARTHQUAKE right when these fools hit the record button! Truly an Act of God, and a DMD episode not to be missed!

Music:

Vomitory, "The Voyage"

The Little Girls, "The Earthquake Song"

LISTEN

[deathmetaldads]

EPISODE 40 - DAD PROFUNDIS

Wherein the Dads regale you, the listener, with the tale of Wulkanaz--a Swedish black metal warrior who defeated his Facebook enemy by means of an axe. Also some talk about Poland's Vader, police brutality, hookers, and The Great Mosh Pit of Life.

Music:

Vader, "Silent Empire"

TV On The Radio, "Ambulance"

Wulkanaz, "Lykta och Bloss"

LISTEN

[deathmetaldads]

EPISODE 39 - DEEP CUTS (FROM THE VAULT), VOL. 1: BOOK OF SHADOWS

An unconventional installment wherein the Dads comb through their vast and sprawling collection of mp3s to bring YOU, the listener, 16 forgotten bands that are not worthy of their own DMD episode. Thrilling fun, plus bonus content re: pubes!

Music:

Vastum, "Gagging on a Gash"

Hickey, "Revolution $19.95"

LISTEN

[deathmetaldads]

EPISODE 38 - AND THE LAUGHTER HAS DAD...

Listen to two guys playing hot potato with a blowjob.

Music:

Unleashed, "The Dark One"

The Flaming Lips, "Evil Will Prevail"

LISTEN

[deathmetaldads]

EPISODE 37 - SWEDISH DEATH METAL DADS (with DANIEL EKEROTH)

Shelby and Aesop sit down with accomplished author (Swedish Death Metal, Violent Italy, Swedish Sensationsfilms) and musician (Insision, Iron Lamb, Diskonto, Third Storm, Tyrant, Usurpress, Dellamorte, etc) Daniel Ekeroth to discuss his career in extreme media, from the punk and hardcore roots of metal to the European influx of B-movie slasher and horror films to the undeniable fact that Finland doesn't actually exist. It's a surreal, over-saturated giallo of discourse, culminating in a tense, horrifying shocker of a finale--leaving all participants confused, blood-covered, and wielding large kitchen knives.

What else? Well: Band Economics 101, People Are Allowed To Have Opinions, Dario Argento's Comic Book Store, Born-Again Christian Harry Reems, Drunk At The Gym, A Miserable Small Town In Northern Sweden Ripped Wide Open By Napalm Death, Yngwie J. Malmsteen Smoking Crack Inside of A Hollowed-Out Marshall Cabinet, Japanese Hardcore And You And Me, Aesop's Cool Story About The Nocturnus Book He Didn't Write (Extended, Remixed Version), Exactly One Hundred Years of Censorship, Let The Write One In, The Day Burzum Ruined Everything, Where The Fish Are Made of Candy, Remembering The Alamo (Drafthouse), Dismember-ing The Malmö (Sweden), Drinking Vodka Whilst Driving And Also Yelling At Pedestrians, Sacramento: California's Finland, Wishing A Speedy Recovery To Lemmy Kilmeister, Daniel Tells That Same Story Everyone Has About Their Mom Throwing Out All Their Old Star Wars And Ninja Turtles Action Figures Except It's About Obscure Death Metal Demos This Time, Floridian Methamphetamines And The Bentonomicon, Krug Life, Talkin' Vomitory, The Shape of Cum To Punk, The Malort Connection, Enamel Pin Chat, Last Houses: On The Lefts vs On Dead End Streets, Cult Movie Convention Etiquette, Remember When Voivod Covered The Batman Theme Song?, That Tacqueria In Oslo, Norway That The Guy From Wall of Voodoo Owns, Death Lays An Egg, An Amuse Bouche of Riffs, 100 Beers A Day From 1985 To 1995, "Rashomon" Except It's A Sex Comedy, A Sandwich (The Wegetarian Wersion), No Klingon Dick, The Time Aesop Punched Shelby At The Ruby Room, Beach Friend, Hat Talk, Nap Eyes, Overwhelming Colorfast (Again), Jackin' It To Swedish Aviation Magazines, Les Schwab: Pride And Performance, "The Chicago Handshake", Cutlering Books, Porn And Toilets, Un-Nice Scene Beef, 3 People In A Shitty Hotel Wayyy Outside Baltimore, Kind Of Goblinlike, Rancid Shit, Soft Puke, Torsos, The DMD Bump, and, as always, Fatherly Advice. Not gonna lie, this is a really good episode. Well... It's ok. It's... It's at least better than that last one with Tony Molina.

Music:

Insision, "World Impaled"

Usurpress, "Interregnum"

Slamahoochee, "Denny's Lumberjack Slam Breakfast (Come Undone)(feat. Tony Molina)"

LISTEN

PS: That Korean horror movie from 2016 is "The Wailing", dammit.

[deathmetaldads]

EPISODE 36 - CEPHALOTRIPS-HE (with TONY MOLINA)

In today's installment, Shelby and Aesop celebrate their two-year anniversary by meeting up with the Final Boss of Death Metal Dads, Mr. Tony "He" Molina (Tony Molina Band, Ovens, Healer, etc). Slam metal and the Hailz Distro Group Chat are discussed at length, and as a special Valentine's Day exclusive, Aesop finally shares the sordid details of the ancient Hickey/Voodoo Glow Skulls Split 7" Debacle. Lots of Bay Area music history and solid roasts in this one, so buckle up!

Also discussed: The Pink Immortal Onesie, An Unnecessary Transaction, The Best Tambourine-Repair Shop In Philadelphia, Long Island Slam Metal Blanket Fort, A Reference To Overwhelming Colorfast, Shelby Can't Believe A Vegan Donut, Roger Osborne, The Malignancy Pillow, Tom Araya Going "Aaaahhhhhhhh", A Burger That Has Onion Straws On It And BBQ Sauce And, Like, An IPA, Paul Bostaph's Favorite Ninja Weapon, A Reddit Rabbit-Hole, Paul Ryan/Gordon Jump, The Taco Bell Jerky Lady, Oakland Blacksmiths, When Hardcore Kids Hear Dismember 5 Minutes Ago And Start A Band About It, No-Riff-erum, Fuckin' In A Fire Truck, Building A Community And Supporting The Homies, A Trumpet Full of Yogurt, How Can You Be Gangster When You Play A Trombone?, The Cool Guy Clique, New Standard Elite: The Only Metal Record Label Based On A Yacht, I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry And The Drummer From Internal Bleeding, A Potato With Four Toothpicks Stuck In It With Chewing Gum For A Head, Bands That Have Parts, Defining Interesting Riff Metal, Pinch Harmonics Chat, One Singular Slam, Die In A Fire, Matching Cephalotripsy Hoodies As A Symbol of Pure Friendship, Swoopy Bangs And Stretched Earlobes, Shitty Dudes In A Wood-Panel Basement In 1993, That Time Tony Showed Up To California Deathfest In A Cardigan Holding A Totebag, Anti-Bowman, Little Fight Club, Revisiting The Underwear Punx, Unibrow/Mustache Unity, Crust Punk Rob Schneider, Burnt Ramen vs Gilman vs Mission Records, For Fans of Slap Bass And Grey Aliens, The Burlingame Coat Factory, A Bridge Into The World of Extreme Music And The Occult, The Jello Biafra of Black Metal Bands, Scaphism Chat And The Kings of Ping, Walnut Krieg, The Vanilla Gorillas, Legends of Millbrae Grindcore, Folger's Pigeons, Prison Guards, Weed Raps, Printing Errors, Howling Bulls, Vulgar Crystals, Christian Death Metal, Myspace, Texas Instruments, ASCII Metal, Fudgegazi, Chainsmoking, Quitting Bands, and, as always, The DMD Bump and Fatherly Advice. EVERYONE ARE POSERS.

Music:

Cephalotripsy, "Sanguinary Misogynistic Execration"

Tony Molina Band, "No One Told He"

Hickey, "Food Stamps And Drink Tickets"

LISTEN

PS The Creedence song that had the first ever slam was "Looking Out My Back Door"

[deathmetaldads]

EPISODE 35 - IN THE SHRINES OF THE KINGLY DAD (with SARA MURPHY)

In today’s episode, the Dads sit down formally in the austere and labyrinthine lobbies of Radio Valencia HQ with friend, aunt, co-conspirator, and Illogical Contraption Radio host Sara Murphy to discuss furries, Bay Area life, music, feminism, job interviews, and the horrifying banality of everyday life. Epiphanies unfurl and dreams are shattered at neck-breaking speeds, and soon the doomed trio succumb to unavoidable despair in a futile gesture of ultimate chaos and misery. Also: jokes about poop!

Also featured herein: A Show For Moms, One Spray And You’re South of The Border, The Cum Manifesto, IKEA Banana, The Kitchen From An Eighties Mental Hospital, Too Much of A Team Player, An Actual Lion, Adults In Toddler Clothing, Less Offensive Than Dave Matthews, A Preview of The DMD Mother’s Day Special, Seth Putnam’s Acoustic Solo Project, A Young Jew, Prick Springfield, “That Sounds Fingerbang-y”, M.I.R.V. Chat, Jarboe Reading Poetry Off Of Eugene Robinson’s Bare Torso While Neurosis Plays Noodly Ambient Music In The Background, Frequent Assaults, The New York Longstockings, Where’s Primus?, Re-Heating The Same Ideas, Something To Whack Off To, Basically Just Making Fun of Hammers of Misfortune, Kind Of Ethnic, Professional Backtracking, Yoga Music And The Brain Bubbles, The Amebix Nicotine Patch, An Albino In A Onesie In The Produce Aisle, ‘Lennies, Top Ramen (No Bottoms), Holocaust Record Store, Shopping For Ham Steaks And Bulk Mayonnaise, A Separate Heaven For Hawaiians, The Blood Incantation Shirt Shirt, Identifyin’ Imagine Dragons, ASMR Chat (Again), Mustache Doctor, Ed Sheeran Reminisces About Friendster, New Kids On The Blockchain, The Chase Mason Special, Cosmic Carpet, Andergrans Meatl, Hate Mail, Squashing The Beef With Squash Bowels, That’s So Murphy, Alameda’s Own Brad Willis, Proud Irish Girl, Mephisto Odyssey Park, An Unhealthy Fixation On A Co-Worker, The Boobs Part In “Schindler’s List”, Femayor, A Lecture About Tipping Generously, A Guy In A Diaper Onstage, Josh Needs An Operation, Wasting Time At The Gas Station, The DMD Platinum Club, “Stash” Dekker, #ReleaseTheDemo, Pizzagate or Whatever, A Shoutout To God, Tiki Torches From Pier One Imports, Short For Trishtopher, Broken Home vs Broken Hope, Old Soup Found In The Microwave of The Lactation Room, Aesop/Andrea, The Nuge, The DMD Bump, and of course, Fatherly Advice. It’s an all-day vape!

Music:

Tiamat, “In The Shrines of the Kingly Dead”

Puny Humans, “Deicide, At Their Mom’s House”

LISTEN

[deathmetaldads]

EPISODE 34 - DADSPONDENT SOULS

The enemies of Robb Flynn are the enemies of America.

Music:

Immolation: "Despondent Souls"

Parliament Funkadelic (with Buckethead, maybe?): "Hideous Mutant Freekz"

LISTEN

[deathmetaldads]

EPISODE 33 - SLUMBER OF SWOLLEN GUYS (with EZRA LUX)

In DMD’s first episode of 2018, the Fathers convene on a cold, rainy night in East Oakland with nepotistic third-time guest Ezra Lux to discuss a generation-spanning selection of topics ranging from racism to Taco Bell, soda pop brands to film history, and conspiracy theories to Finnish death metal. Will Producer Ezra’s mind withstand the shitstorm of psychic malevolence? Will Shelby learn to differentiate between Bill S. Preston, Esquire, and Ted Theodore Logan? Will Aesop remain awake? Tune in to find out!

Also blathered upon most non-heinously: A Trip Down Memory Lane (Horse Meat, Soy, and Grease), Dennis Quaid-Randy Quaid-Beau Bridges-Lloyd Bridges-Jeff Bridges-Jeff Daniels-Anthony Daniels-Daniel Day-Lewis-Anthony Kiedis, As Real As The Streets, Gay Jail, Tyler The Kreator, Does Finland Exist?, No Sprite Served Here, Doug E. Fresh: Rappin’ Scientologist, DMD2: Spring Fever, DMD3: Death Metal Dads In Space, DMD4: Death Metal Dads vs Leprechaun, and DMD5: Death Metal Dads vs Logan Paul vs Leatherface In Da Hood, Jimmy Stewart: Wife-Murdering Clown, Racial Insensitivity And Ezra Using The Word “Faggot”, Man Eggs And Bisketti, Freaked Chat, Oscarbaiting, “Urban Marketing” And The Average American Teenager, Unsolicited Alabama Football Notifications, “Special” “Rallies”, Elementary School Field Trip To The Suicide Forest, Burning The Midnight Oil, Brooke Shields, The Older Brother From “Blossom”, Okay In Small Doses, Reindeer Meat With A Zig-Zag of Fancy Sauce, Fuzzy Tingly Feelings In Your Brain And Private Areas, Gibby Haynes vs Larry “Bud” Melman, DMD Gets Their Own Show On The Disney Channel, Sex As A Child, Toxic Waste And Mutants And Shit, 2018 Coachella Lineup Announcements, Vladimir Putin Fucks A Poodle, The Poe Man’s Podcast,  Naming Actors, Naming Bands, And Naming Movies, Mustained, Twitter Beefs, Solving Colorblindness With Bitcoin, The Ghost of The Dead Grandma From Family Circus, Holocaust Denial, The DMD Bump (Self-Love Edition), and, as always, Fatherly Advice. Consume it!

Music:

Demigod, “Dead Soul”

Charlie Daniels, “In America”

LISTEN

[deathmetaldads]

EPISODE 32 - SOON TO BE DAD (with GARZO)

Shelby and Aesop are joined by Peruvian maniac Garzo (Los Huaycos) to smash the language barrier sans phone service or microphones and uncover the truth about foreign Santas, time-travelling prog rock bands, future pyramids, and hairless dogs. 

Also discussed: Night Ranger Or Power Ranger?, A Guitar That Turns Into A Motorcycle, Cans vs Bottles of Beer And The Perils of Drunken Skateboarding, Shitpussies And Buttholes And Vaginas, Leafblower Week At The Yamaha Factory, Where's The Mayonnaise?, Fred Etsy, Drummer of Dismember, Lawrence of A Labia, Hulk-Cucking, Klingon Bukkake, Toilet Paper Hacks (Toilet Paper That You Cannot See), 13 Reasons Why Los Huaycos Are The Cannibal Corpse of Netflix, A Spoiling Alert, All This Fucking Shit That Is Happening, Looking For A Job In The Milky Way, Sucking The Nipple, Sharpening The Pen, Ricky Henderson In The 90s, Human Evolution And The Upside-Down, The Secret Broken Phone (Don't Tell My Wife), A Speedo And A Razor, Super Friends From Peru, Drugs And Fucking, Hebrew College, A Hundred Dollar Idea, The Trouble With Tribbles And Cum, Horny Goat Weed, Randy Scottish Basilisk Powder, Romulan Porno And The Roddenberry Estate, Being More Like Fabio, A Pinch of Nutmeg Around The Holidays, Making Christmas White Again, Sometimes In The Mountains They Don't Get Presents, Rush Rash, A Possibly Non-Existent Band Called Placebo, Jose Canseco (A Shitty Landlord), Finding Pizza In Your Bed, Hitler And UFOs And The Hollow Earth And The Illuminatus! Trilogy, Semen In Garzo's Dad's Penis, International Habits of Taxi Drivers, Falling Asleep On BART, A Drunk Santa In Your Uber, Fluorescent Birdhouses, A Special Non-Denominational Holiday Message From The Death Metal Dads, Heinous Hoodies, Garzo Only (No Mike), The DMD Bump, and, of course, Fatherly Advice. This one is punk as FUCK.

Music:

Dismember, "Soon To Be Dead"

Los Huaycos, "Huaycal Animal"

Cannibal Corpse, "The Bleeding" and Tears For Fears, "The Hurting" played at the same time

(PS Yngwie J. Malmsteen totally WAS in G3. Suck it Aesop.)

LISTEN

[deathmetaldads]

EPISODE 31 - MITHRADADTIC (with PAUL RYAN)

In today’s installment, the Dads convene upstairs at The DNA Lounge in scenic San Francisco with one-man wrecking crew Paul Ryan (Origin) to discuss licks, riffs, shreds, dicks, and donuts. It’s a veritable buffet of off-color topics, ending in a crescendo of shame and horror. Join us!

Also open for debate: Your Dad’s Dick, Shred Begley Jr., More Than a Feeling, Death Metal Dads (Now On Netflix), Dead On A Cruise Ship, How Sociopathetics Clip Your Toenails, BYOB Strip Clubs, Mostly Cum And Farts, The Entire Shipping Department At Camco Drum Pedals, An Automotive Diagnostic of Death Metal Music, Hot Takes About Obituary, Now With The Internet And Everything, The VP of Sweeps, Hitler Was A Vegan, Infernal Hailz/Come To Brasil, “Nature Is My Jam”, Dez Cadena In A Dashiki, Topeka/Tapioca, Good Times At The Maritime Hall (RIP) and The Pound (RIP), A Lot Of Talk About Gorefest, Paul’s Seaside Estate, George Lucas vs Lucas Mann, An Intimate Phone Encounter, Hatebreed Hatespeech, Fairly Biblical, The Car Crash Story, Exhumed And Their Halfway House Program, A “Covfefe” Reference, Bad Ideas For “Bonus Content”, Thrash Metal Bangs, Our Stupid Ass Show, NASCAR’s Mike Smith, Suffocation’s Mike Smith, Strange Things Afoot In The Back Room At Guitar Center, Shelby’s Racism… Exposed!, If At The Gates Were Younger And More Attractive, Steel Toe Abortions, Rubik’s Cubes And Rotary Phones, The Benefits of A Plant-Based Diet, A Wizard In A Garage Making Amps and Pedals, Sixty Acres of Land In Marin, Mike And The Mechanics Chat, A Black Metal Band In Tennis Clothing, “The Bleeding”, “The Hurting”, “The Wizard of Oz”, and “Dark Side of The Moon”, Gangbanging For God, A Simply Red Cassette In A Nissan Pathfinder, The Fixie Bikes And The Ironic Moustaches, Four Kinds of Vegan Donuts, Phobiaphobic, Fatherly Advice, and of course, The DMD… Plug?

Music:

Origin, “Mithradatic”

The Manson Family, “Scratching Peace Symbols In Your Tombstone”

LISTEN