debirudori

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little girl whose fursona is a baby cow: for my third wish i want you to make the saying "you are what you eat" literal, no matter the disaster, no matter the pain

genie: yah ok

vampire working his office job: turns into an 8 foot wave of human blood sweeping through the office drowning his coworkers and thoroughly saturating everything, the furniture the walls the floor, with blood carrying a large variety of diseases, so that renovation is not an option and the entire building has to be condemned once men in full body hazmat suits confirm that nobody survived

tarrare somewhere in his grave: turns into a toddler

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*first time using gay slang* you look like you're wearing a wig!! and you look like a cunt!!!

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so what youre gonna wanna do is crush the garlic and ginger instead of just slicing it ok, it releases more of those good flavors. yoshi is going to eat me and turn me into an egg now, i love you. remember everything i taught you

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Dude that is too much slop for him

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"Sex is what makes us human" is stupid. Almost every species fucks. Humans are the only species that jumps motorcycles over school buses that are on fire. Some other things too probably

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i love it when the final song on an album is called something like "goodnight" or "farewell" except for when the beatles did it because they sang about problematic themes and three of them got yhe fourth one pregnant in the early days when they all looked alike and nobody could remember which one it was so they all got abortions just in case

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