deecadence

[deecadence]

Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be in a sexless marriage

[deecadence]

I’m 👏🏾 trying 👏🏾 to 👏🏾 get 👏🏾 my 👏🏾 back 👏🏾 broke 👏🏾 in

[deecadence]

He’s gonna leave me one day and I’ll have no one to blame but myself.

[deecadence]

I'm just numb at this point. If I never speak again, I'll probably be way more misunderstood.

[deecadence]

I'm back. I'm depressed. I kinda don't know why. I kind of do. I've been off my meds for about a week and my efforts to work out my insurance details haven't been coming through. However, that doesn't really matter cuz everyone's attention is centered on l*zz*. I would like to express myself (even tho I don't know how to right now) but I am slick stuck between my constant concern of relevancy in an industry that I fight to be a part of and still am not in and a overwhelming amount of stress for feeling like a failure that shouldn't even be trying. When I'm on my meds, I can drown out doubts. I'm not quite "cured" but the masking is easier. I don't have a mask on right now. It's probably not coming any time soon. So, yeah. I hate you fat l*zz*. I still don't how to break into the industry and based on the conversation surrounding the incident, I don't know if anyone will want to show me grace if I ever got to that point. Idk. This probably doesn't make any sense

[deecadence]

This is my last post on this secret Tumblr bcuz it's not a secret Tumblr anymore...

I don't have a place to vent, I don't have a friend to talk to, and I have a lot of trouble communicating. I've worked on myself enough to kind of effectively communicate and provide insight to those who need it from me and deserve it. I was hoping this could be a platform for me not to use any of that important work and be immature and flippant and say things that I don't actually mean but feel anonymously. I'm too afraid of losing everything so I have to keep my thoughts to myself going forward. Not all of them, just the ones that are for me. I don't have any followers on this account so I'm talking into the void but I know you'll find this and I hope you don't take offense and I hope it doesn't turn into an argument. I needed this as a diary and I just can't use it anymore and it's kind of my fault so jokes on me, right?

[deecadence]

Replace cake with dick

me to my boyfriend

[deecadence]

LOVE IS THE WHOLE POINT. OF IT ALL

[deecadence]

I’m telling you now, if I don’t get no dick between now and when that mother fucker go out of town in five days, I’m gonna hop on another one. He’s so damn concerned about his friends group of other niggas that don’t be fuckin either so idk. Like, this is really my life now…

[deecadence]

[deecadence]

(New yorker voice) ay buddy im toppin’ here!

[deecadence]

[deecadence]

Many lgbt teenagers and young adults growing up on the internet today have socially conservative beliefs that they voice at all times that they got from their conservative parents which they’ve never challenged because they think the life experience of being gay or trans makes them politically progressive

[deecadence]

"soon", he said.

[deecadence]

i just think more 30-40 year old men should be more whorish. act your age for once.

[deecadence]

I wanna fuck.

[deecadence]

My worst fears came true and I'm in a sexless marriage. Sad part, it's fully all my fault