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We looked inside some of the posts by deepdankpit and here's what we found interesting.
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I don't even want to eat now and I was starving
just want to cry/die/etc
I fucking hate everyone around me
I fucking hate this family
I fucking hate this town
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really struggling not to throw myself out of the window
I intentionally stayed in my room all day, waited for people to go to bed, waited till 1 am to make food, and then ofc someone has to fucking wake up and go into the kitchen and just sit there
like bruh wtf
#I'm so sick of not having my own space#I'm so sick of being poor#I'm so sick of being disabled#and everyone around me being too stupid to see how distressed I am#and now I have to throw out the food I was making#I want to fucking die#\
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folk will be like "why don't you come out and socialise again why don't you hang out" and then when I actually open my mouth to be excited about something they shit all over it
this is why I don't want to hang out, girl. you are a fucking buzzkill. let me enjoy things wtf. people who have to shit on things when they see you having fun are the worst
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people go so far as to compare ERP Therapy to "properly taking your medication" and if it didn't work for you it's because it was done "improperly". god shut up
#so that was my journey in lurking the OCD community for resources#I've seen lots of invalidation happen in nd spaces but that was probably the worst and most blatant#people being like ''this doesn't work for me and recent evidence shows it's not more or less effective than other treatments''#and they just get shouted down with#IT'S THE GOOOOLLLDD STANDARRRRDDD#shut up man
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looking up treatments for OCD just made me more depressed because I have too many comorbidities for ERP therapy to be effective cool cool
and anywhere you go online people just repeat how great ERP therapy is instead of acknowledging some people are already dealing with enough stressors from non-OCD symptoms, that the added anxiety of exposure will make us so much worse that it ends up way more destructive than productive
#not to mention that it relies completely on the therapist being competent and not abusing their power over you#which with this specific therapy would be very easy to do#also seems based completely on minimising the compulsions and not the distress#like the compulsions aren't what's stressing me out dood#and what if my compulsion is completely internal like a mantra or something?#you can't tell I'm doing it and I can't stop it because it's a thought responding to another fucking thought#ugh just makes me mad this whole thing seems based on diminishing outward symptoms and then people are like#WELL I DIDN'T HAVE TO TAP MY NOSE WHEN I THOUGHT ABOUT MURDER SO I'M CURED#STILL THOUGHT ABOUT MURDER BUT YKNOW
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really hope I can sleep properly tonight. it's been days
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