deer-knight - Tumblr blog

[deer-knight]

since cohost is probably going bankrupt, would you consider pillowfort? it's similar

i've just browsed some articles about them and read their FAQ page. i guess i could try it. the ai ban they have sounds great. i'll consider it. thank you for the suggestion - im so tired recently. i don't know if i even want to be doing any social media anymore.

[deer-knight]

cohost

yep, officially using cohost now:

[deer-knight]

Helloo, hope you're doing well:)

Not actually sure where I picked up on it, but you write, don't you? Would you mind sharing some recent works or fragments that you enjoy?

Or if you're not comfortable with that (which I absolutely understand), what are some works by other writers that resonate with you?

oh interesting! i used to write poetry and short stories, yes, but i haven't done anything of substance in years.

and...even the handful of recent snippets i've done i feel a bit insecure about, and lately i feel very protective of things i create, given the current climate of sharing art online.

i have been enjoying the locked tomb series, the ember bones series, and honestly - there were some brilliant writers on deviantart back in the day that i still think about.

[deer-knight]

well, i guess this is why you trust your gut, huh.

i've just made a cohost page (under the same name) and we'll see if i like it. unfortunately despite having a lot of projects i'm working on i'm struggling to feel like sharing them online is the right move.

i'm tempted to leave the internet/social media scene entirely, quite honestly. i don't have a smartphone, i work outdoors full time, and i'm already the most "offline" person of most friend groups. i don't think it would be difficult for me.

and yet, nearly 9,000 people follow me here, which still baffles me. i've done my best over time to weed out bots and such, but im sure some have slipped by. still, that's a lot of people. and, that's not to say i'd only consider staying because others want me to, but. it's something i think about.

i'm so grateful for the enthusiasm and kindness and words of support that folks have poured out into the comments and reblogs and asks on this blog. it matters <3 thank you, from deep in my heart.

so, what will happen to this blog? i don't know. i don't know if i feel good about leaving all this stuff here to be scraped by ai or mined for data or whatever else would get to it. at the same time, what a special archive of my creativity over the past several years. i suppose i could archive it in some way. not quite the same, though.

my askbox is open, as always, for anything anyone wants to send while i'm still around, which i will be for a while still, till this is all sorted.

i know about the anti-ai programs i could spend time putting my work through to make it harder for ai to use them, but. it feels quite depressing, i think. i think i'd rather keep my work offline, if this is something that will persist and evolve and create barriers for a casual artist like myself to feel comfy posting on this site and others. i'd rather save my depression and anxiety and any leftover emotional energy for things that matter more to me than posting art online.

thank you all for being here. i will stick around to see how this plays out, but i don't feel very hopeful. haven't felt very hopeful in general, recently. i'm alright. i think i'm just tired of... everything.

be well <3 &

hesitating

gonna be real, i've started to feel nervous about putting my art on the internet, full stop.

i love making art, and i love sharing it with this lil corner of tumblr, but with every ai generated image built of stolen art that i see, i just get sadder and sadder.

which bums me out, right, cause i've actually made some art that i love recently! and i think about posting it and i just take a deep sigh and think what's the point - is it worth it?

i feel so disillusioned with sharing art online at the moment. and i can put my watermark in the corner and sign it and that doesn't stop theft - it's not really meant to do that. it's so people who see it can return to the source if it's reposted anywhere. (speaking of which, please do not repost my art anywhere without my permission)

so ehhh. its complicated feelings. hence why i've been quiet on the art and photography front.

drink some water <3

-&

[deer-knight]

would you be displeased if I said that apple juice ask had big dave strider energy?

gonna be real don't know who dave is

[deer-knight]

hello there i hope you are having a good day

i was wondering if when you wear historical reenactment or fantasy clothing do you do it as yourself and it is some different clothes or you adopt a character to be and its like acting?

And if it is the second, do you have several characters or just one? i am just curious because i have different vibes and characters for the vibes with my historical and fantasy outfits and wondered if anyone else is the same

sometimes, but it is subtle!

my historical garb i wear just as myself, transported to another time and place.

the garb i wear to renaissance faires (when i'm not doing rapier demos) have subtle characterizations to them. when i dress as the pirate i like to act a bit goofier and casual and make jokes with kids and such. when i dress in my elven style i try to embody being a bit more graceful, a bit more fluid and of the earth, that sort of thing.

obviously posing for photos for my various looks/characters i try to pose as i think portrays their character well.

im not much for acting, but it's a fun experiment!

[deer-knight]

what’s your favorite snack!

i'm not a huge fan of food, but my favorite thing to consume is fancy apple juice :3

[deer-knight]

go on then!

[image description: gothic calligraphy that reads “Ask Me Anything”]

[deer-knight]

Would you mind if I used your selfies as an example of what I want my top surgery results to look like to show my surgeon?

go for it! best of luck dear anon!

[deer-knight]

so glad i'm no longer at a place in my life where i have to pretend that women in cheap sets of costume armor are the hottest thing ever

[deer-knight]

they/them

through the coldest days and the longest nights, we keep on fighting.

[image description: four photos of op standing outside in a snowy forest. op is a slim 20s white person with very long wavy brown hair worn loose, with two braids tied back from either side. they wear layers of grey and brown wool with a shirt of mail, spaulders, and a wide leather belt with tassets. they wear a white fur mantle and a black leather gorget, mostly covered by a dark brown scarf. in the first photo they are in the middle of unsheathing an arming sword from their hip, which they hold in the three subsequent photos. end image description.]

[deer-knight]

they/them

it’s dangerous to wander the winter woods alone…where are you headed, traveler?

[image description: three photos of op from the hips up, outside in a snowy forest. op is a slim 10s white person with very long wavy brown hair worn loose, with two braids tied back from either side. they wear layers of grey and brown wool with a shirt of mail, spaulders, and a wide leather belt with tassets, with an arming sword worn at their hip. they wear a white fur mantle and a black leather gorget, mostly covered by a dark brown scarf. in the first two photos, the scarf is pulled up over their nose. in the third, they’ve pulled it down to show their face. end image description.]

[deer-knight]

Hello Deer-Knight! I hope you're doing well. Guess what? I have a top surgery consultation coming up in late March! That being said, I was wondering if maybe you'd be alright with people using some of your photos as references to show a surgeon for what they'd like their own chest to look like post surgery? If not, that's perfectly alright. I just wanted to ask to be polite. Best wishes! (P.S. I don't mind if you answer this ask publicly, but it's up to you)

dear shampoo! i am so happy and excited for you! top surgery was an enormously positive life changing experience for me, and i am wishing you all the best in this endeavor.

people are welcome to use my photos for top surgery reference and i am so grateful to my surgeon for her incredible standard-setting skill in this work.

as i've said before - i don't feel comfy disclosing who my surgeon was, but i couldn't be happier with my results, and the standard of care i received was incredible.

best of luck shampoo!!

[deer-knight]

oh new username I like it

thank you! i like it too ^_^

[deer-knight]

hi :3

hi!! :3

[deer-knight]

it's 2024 you know what that means: time to stop shaving massive swaths of your body! listen. cmere. listen to me. if you're someone who regularly shaves your legs/armpits/arms/groin/etc. this is it. this is your sign.

now listen. i know. it feels so nice and smooth! you rub your legs together like cricket! swish swish! listen to me - have you ever fully let yourself have body hair? i mean it. fully let your hair grow until it doesnt grow any longer?

let me tell you something - i am a texture-sensitive being. truly. i was also someone who had to shave my legs daily if i wanted to give the illusion of a creature that doesn't have leg hair. and the fresh shave smoothness was nice! and the scratchy nonsense that started poking through at the end of the day was terrible! it also sucked to torture my skin this way all the time. i have thick, dark hair. and everyone would be on my case about it - my mother, sister, grandmother, kids at school or summer camp. "you missed a spot!" i banish you to the shadow realm.

beyond just knowing that the beauty standards of the world we live in are fucked, consider this an opportunity to just be curious about your body. it's 2024! gender is dead! humans often are covered in hair! its normal! people might give you a hard time about it. the best we can do is ignore them, if they are not the sort to see it as an opportunity to learn.

when i started wearing my unshaved legs bare i was so nervous. and after i made it clear to the people who would have bothered me about it that i wasn't going to bend to their expectations, nobody has really mentioned it. i've had kids ask why i have hair in my armpits or on my legs, because they don't have filters and are curious about their world, and i just say that its normal to have hair or to not have hair, for all people of all genders.

it takes a little bit of time to adjust to the feeling and texture. this much is true. but oh my gosh, i beg of you to try. even if you think you wont get over the sensory nightmare of the initial scratchiness. i haven't shaved in 7, 8 years now, and my hair is still thick and dark but the texture has softened so much, and i love the swish of hair on my legs, in my armpits, all over. i'm not on testosterone or anything, i'm just a hairy creature. y'all, it's so beautiful. it keeps me warm! it's soft in a different way - i can even condition it if i want extra softness! its an incredible texture, and i'm so grateful i let my body be the way it's always wanted to be.

it's 2024. you don't have to shave anymore. if you've been thinking about it, now's the time. free yourself. doesn't matter your gender or sexuality or anything. it doesn't make you less feminine, it doesn't make you less refined, it doesn't make you less sexy or less lovable or anything like that. anyone who says different isn't worth your time.

been wanting to make this post for a while now. your body is yours, and you can let it be as hairy as you like <3

[deer-knight]

happy solstice and yule everyone!! <3

thank you @bitecore for filming ^_^

[video description: op prances around in the snow in a white and grey unicorn onesie and untied leather workboots. op is a white person with long wavy brown hair. tumblr user bitecore is filming, and laughs as op frolics, saying “yay!” when op throws snow up in the air. end video description.]