deerconsciousness

[deerconsciousness]

🇮🇷 Tehran, Iran - A man restores a well-known mural depicting the US flag with bombs and skulls, and the phrase “Down with the USA.”

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i get that americans love their cultural imperialism, but it really does piss me off that june is “international” pride month just because something happened in the united states.

in aotearoa, june isn’t our pride, it’s theirs. marsha p johnson and sylvia rivera are their historical figures, not ours. the phrase that “you owe your rights to Black trans women” is true there, but here we owe our rights to (mostly) Māori historical figures. i have the freedoms i do because of the legacy of an entirely different set of people operating in an entirely different context at entirely different times.

But because of american cultural imperialism, most queer people in Aotearoa don’t even know our own queer history. Carmen Rupe, Ngahuia Te Awekotuku, the Dorian Society, Gillian Laundon, Georgina Beyer, and the Wolfenden Association are some of our queer history. We should know their names! we should know what they did for us! but because of the power of the american imperial machine, we don’t.

our national pride month should be july, the month that the Homosexual Law Reform Act passed in 1986. our two largest cities hold their pride festivals in february and march, respectively. american queer history has very little (or nothing, depending on who you ask) to do with our queer history. anecdotally, from my own queries, queer youth in aotearoa know more about american queer history than our own.

anyway, happy pride, americans. i’m truly sorry that most of you don’t see the negative impact your nation’s culture has on the rest of the world. and to the rest of the world reading this, try searching for your own country and culture’s queer history, don’t accept the american narratives as your own. we deserve our own histories divorced from the cultural hegemony of the USA.

[deerconsciousness]

bangkok pride

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its always like be careful this song might become a memory. this cologne might become a memory. this brand of beer might become a memory. i time travel all the time

[deerconsciousness]

healing happens in circles, not lines. you will return to old places with new eyes.

[deerconsciousness]

sometimes I think I don’t like myself but if i’m being honest that’s not true. I don’t like some things that happened to me and I don’t like that I have to deal with the aftermath of them but I am always trying my hardest and I’m still here and I’m great for that. I think I don’t give myself enough credit for that

[deerconsciousness]

I hope my dreams tonight resemble this Rinko Kawauchi photo

[deerconsciousness]

things that happened to me when i was a woman in STEM:

an advisor humiliated me in front of an entire lab group because of a call I made in his place when he wouldn't reply to my e-mails for months

he later delegated part of my master's thesis work to a 19-year old male undergrad without my approval

a male scientist at a NASA conference looked me up and down and asked when i was graduating and if i was open to a job at his company. right before inquiring what my ethnicity was because i "looked exotic"

a random male member of the public began talking over me and my female advisor, an oceanographer with a pHD and decades of experience, saying he knew more about oceanography than us

things that have happened to me since becoming a man in STEM:

being asked consistently for advice on projects despite being completely new to a position

male colleagues approaching me to drop candid information regarding our partners / higher ups that I was not privy to before

lenience toward my work in a way I haven't experienced before. incredible understanding when I need to take time off to care for my family.

conference rooms go silent when I start talking. no side chatter. I get a baseline level of attention and focus from people that's very unfamiliar and genuinely difficult for me to wrap my head around.

like. yes some PI's will still be assholes regardless of the gender of their subordinates but, I've lived this transition. misogyny in STEM is killing women's careers, and trans men can and do experience male privilege.

[deerconsciousness]

in order to be interesting you need to be interested

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Where can i buy a latex top

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I saw Descendents and Circle Jerks yesterday. There were alot of older punks there it made me so happy

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Sometimes, if you’re lucky, there will be a tree outside your bedroom window. It is very important to romanticize this tree as much as possible.

[deerconsciousness]

[deerconsciousness]

I just found out two local gay artists were found murdered in their home. fuck. jesus. I knew these guys. I own their art. I've attended so many gallery openings at their shop. they've meant so much to the community here. and they're just fucking gone? just like that?

and of course the cops are claiming it's not a hate crime.