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they should invent an apartment that has huge windows but is never too hot and is near everything i like and all my friends but is also quiet when i want it to be and costs zero dollars or perhaps they pay me to live in. and they save it just for me so i dont have to look for it :)

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highly recommend keeping a small portrait of a historical figure who met a grisly end on your work desk. for perspective.

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Finally some appropriate business formal atire for high powered executives like you and me.

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have you seen my berry its about 1 inch tall and 1 inch wide and 1 inch long

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Shout out to "enunciate" for being one of those words that forces you to do itself.

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first youtube analysis i've wanted to watch voluntarily

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americans say the word ethnic in a way that makes it really obvious they'd rather use the word exotic soo bad but know that it would sound racist. "ethnic appearance" "ethnic nose" "ethnic cuisine" WHAT DO YOU MEAN!!! WHAT ETHNICITY!!!!

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somewhere out there right now is a kid with curly hair being raised by people who have wavy hair at best and those people are giving them 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner and telling them to dry brush it. and that kid is gonna spend all of middle school and high school hating their hair and moping over the flat iron. they're being told right now that if they don't dry-brush their curl pattern into oblivion every morning it means they're unkempt and gross even though they naturally have the kind of ringlets that a thousand bridezillas would commit horrible murders for every june. it's happening right now it's an absolute epidemic and a tragedy every time

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Reddit sucks bc on there you make a comment like this and people downvote it but on here it would have 10 thousand notes

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Yep, I'm a city slicker. Wake up one morning and your city's all slick? That was me.

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1st biggest plot twist in life is when you're told that tomatoes are actually a fruit, not a vegetable. 2nd biggest plot twist in life is learning that "fruit" and "vegetable" are not mutually exclusive classifications and that tomatoes are still vegetables

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boooo i thought this was going to be about some new trend to like have a cigarette while you stare vacantly into your fridge