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Everyone keeps talking about "the writer's barely disguised fetish". But I still haven't heard about "the writer's barely disguised huge ass pet peeve"

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When my brothers were younger I wanted to teach about misogynistic tropes in media without scaring them off by presenting the topic right out the gate as serious and aggressive and intimidating so I pointed out one day that movie dudes usually only ever have three motives- 1. Wife, 2. Daughter, 3. Dog.

And now whenever we watch a movie together and a dude character is about to reveal their angst backstory we take guesses if it’s gonna be 1, 2, or 3.

Which is specifically the most fun to do in bad B-list action movies because you can say “It’s a 1” as it starts and then ten minutes later the ham-fisted Macho Man Tough Guy quietly mentions being married once and you can put your hands in the air and go “AYYY IT WAS 1” like your team just scored a sportsball goal

Truthfully though I think we need more 3’s

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nothing funnier to me than when AI does math wrong. like I get why it happens, it's a language model that's treating the numbers you feed it as words rather than integers and then giving you an answer based on how those words typically appear in a block of text instead of actually performing a calculation. but the one thing computers are genuinely incredible at. you fucked up a perfectly good calculator is what you did, look at it it's got hallucinations

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godddd im back on my bullshit thinking about whalefalls again

specifically the whole speciation/evolutionary stepping stone thing where they allow certain species to move, adapt, and disperse in new environments through the resources that they create simply by dying. Literally hundreds of species take advantage of one when it happens. So many species are fundamentally altered by a resource oasis hundreds of times more effective than marine snow.

fuckkk all im thinking about is shit like. one body. one death. yet a body that, depending on certain conditions, could take up to a CENTURY to be fully returned to the entropy it came from.

That shit can be considered an actual fuckin. Biome. a whole biome in a single creature.

Imagine you, a single cell or near single cell microorganism being the latest in a generational line that spans back so far that your line has evolved and speciated from its origin point before the whale fell.

Imagine you, with a lifespan of days or weeks living in rotting flesh that will presumably take up to a full century to fully consume

Imagine you, your entire bloodline, your whole world living off one body. Alive off of corpse-fat and marrow, consuming your god as it transforms you into something unrecognizable

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please stop writing "viscous" when you mean "vicious", it produces the weirdest mental images ever

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And when we finally kill the gods neither hell nor heaven will be waiting for them because they created those to imprison us

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Not to brag or anything but I’m Italian and I live in Rome and today they performed Julius Caesar on the literal ruins of the Curia of Pompey. aka the exact place where Caesar got absolutely wrecked in 44 BCE. on the anniversary of him getting absolutely wrecked 💅

🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪 (that’s 23 knives. historically accurate.)

(If you are interested in seeing more scenes from the performance, I have posted another video!)

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Happy Ides of March everybody, did you know the place where we believe Caesar was stabbed is now a Cat Sanctuary

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I would just like to point out that Julius Caesar was 55 years old when he died. This means he survived FIFTY-FOUR Marches over the course of his life. Statistically he was actually VERY GOOD at surviving March.

Ides of March Georg is an outlier adn should not have been-

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Tumblr holidays not being used for the rest of the world is weird. What do you mean I have to go to school/work? Don't you people know Julius Caesar was stabbed multiple times?

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Knives! Get your Knives here for no particular reason!

🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

Get em while they're cold, get em while they're sharp!

Special discount if your name is Brutus for no reason in particular!

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In honor of the Ides of March approaching, here’s the trash can I wrote on 2 years ago and only touch up in March

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Jurassic Park except they provide proper enrichment for the animals and they therefor don’t feel the need to hunt slow, small humans.

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🐊🐊🐊🐊🐊

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This is so funny I don’t even care for baseball but this is great

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