definatelybrilliantpopcorn-blog

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so like okay, 

I don’t know why I’ve been obsessively thinking about the concept of “gaydar” 

but I have. 

Actually no it’s because a straight family member used the term like 

“oh I have really great gaydar” 

and it made me feel really gross 

and it took me like a full hour to realize why. 

When heterosexual people say that, 

it feels like they’re bragging about their ability to clock us, you know? 

like a straight person is telling me that they can spot us queers at 50 paces 

and i’m immediately going to be uncomfortable with that, 

whereas when other queer folks talk about being able to spot each other 

it’s a tool for survival. 

Like here’s the thing right? 

being able to tell is important sometimes.  

Here’s an example: 

A couple summers ago I was in a very very small town in Nova Scotia, Canada 

(like 6 buildings small) 

and I met a woman in the library who was probably a little older than my actual mother. 

She was there most days using the wifi 

because she lived across the street in an apartment without internet. 

We sat at the same table a few times and spoke briefly about life in passing 

and after a few of these not-talking-about-gay-stuff convos I was pretty sure she was a part of the lgbtq community 

and I slipped in a casual pronoun re: an ex 

and she just looked at me, 

stopped completely 

and said “oh thank fuck, I thought so.” 

and instantly started talking about her girlfriend, 

it was like this huge wave of relief washed over both of us 

because we were in a small rural town and both hovering in this really queer space and unable to talk about it. 

Anyway she was really rad and took me to the closest big town to buy me a tim hortons coffee 

because she found it reprehensible that I had been in canada for more than 3 weeks already and hadn’t ever had it. 

Almost instantly it was like 

“oh okay we have this thing in common that other people may not be cool with 

but we can actually exist and not hide shit without the fear of violence or anger”

but when it’s a straight person

they’re pretty much just letting you know that they can spot the fact that you seem “abnormal” to them 

like great 

thanks for letting me know. 

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The fourth wall is the only thing keeping the real and fictional words apart. One day it breaks.

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Reblogging for that last comment

In shitty but unsurprising news, men leaving their wives who have been diagnosed with cancer is 5x more common than women leaving their husbands who have been diagnosed with cancer.

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hey shoutout to the farmers

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how to make tea

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[A white fortune cookie paper with black text on the front and an icon of a bee. It reads: Your personality is fueled by the fascination you feel for life.]

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alright! i discovered that being mentally ill is not too fun! that was a good learning experience. can i be done now

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I think the biggest problem with modern feminism is how much of it relies on this “choice feminism” of performing femininity. The problem with this is that society is the one making the choice, by way of societal pressure. Sure, someone can wear makeup or shave their legs and have it “be their choice” as no one is physically forcing you to do these things. However, society is forcing you to do these things for the validation you receive once you perform these expensive and time consuming asks. Society makes you have more confidence and feel prettier when you put in the effort. And society bases a woman’s worth on her appearance. Therefore, you will feel better performing these actions, even though you made the choice to do them. You will find more confidence within society by giving into society.

All in all, there is nothing wrong with wearing makeup or shaving your legs. But the expectation for women to perform these acts is a problem. It costs women money and time and energy, and it exists because women’s worth is tied to her beauty/sex appeal/sexual availability to men.

Your personal choice is fine. It’s not right. It’s not wrong. But understand where the confidence and preference for performing these extra feminine rituals comes from to further your understanding of our patriarchal society.

TERFs don’t interact. 

EDIT: also society pressures transwomen even moreso than afab to conform to these standards. the pressure to be seen as a woman is tied into the time and money consuming acts of performing femininity. please reblog this version.

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Your wife changes her hair color every season and her personality adjusts slightly. You’re secretly only in love with Autumn wife. She just came home sporting her Winter color.

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Looking into Kyrgystan

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i always want to do fuck marry kill but then i remember that i dont want to fuck marry or kill anyone

can there be a more mild version like. hug, point finger guns at, and whack with a frying pan

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Being told you’re appreciated is the simplest thing, and yet it’s one of the most uplifting, incredible things you can hear.

-Unknown

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Read how China is brainwashing people in re-education camps in the Xinjiang region!