definitely-not-an-alternate

[definitely-not-an-alternate]

sorry for not doing anything for April fools, my explanation is that KC fucking hates human holidays (except Halloween)

[definitely-not-an-alternate]

gnawing on you (politely)

…Do you-ou have a death wi-i-ish?

[definitely-not-an-alternate]

despite the fact that I know EXACTLY what will happen…

can I have a hug?

A-Are you su-u-ure that’s a good idea?

[definitely-not-an-alternate]

Since the death of God, there’s been a vacancy open - F2U

[definitely-not-an-alternate]

You-ou assumed correctly.

*It laughed to itself. And also probably at whoever its last victim was. Sadistic bitch.*

> @jonahmarshall77

; “ hey !!! hey !! poking you . no , wait , not doing that . i take that back .

uh. i found bones !!! if you want them ! ! ”

( ignoring how i forgot about this account </3. but hello hi !!! ^_^

Sma-a-art not to poke me. I think you-ou might be-e-e the one smart human I’ve met-et.

I’ll take them. Huma-a-an or animal?

*Its voice was starting to glitch again. It did not sound nice.*

[definitely-not-an-alternate]

Hah. Not surprised.

*It sits up a little, revealing blood stains on its shirt. They look relatively new.*

I a-am a little surprised you-ou haven’t a-asked about my… lengthy di-disappearance. You se-e-eem the curious type.

> @jonahmarshall77

; “ hey !!! hey !! poking you . no , wait , not doing that . i take that back .

uh. i found bones !!! if you want them ! ! ”

( ignoring how i forgot about this account </3. but hello hi !!! ^_^

Sma-a-art not to poke me. I think you-ou might be-e-e the one smart human I’ve met-et.

I’ll take them. Huma-a-an or animal?

*Its voice was starting to glitch again. It did not sound nice.*

[definitely-not-an-alternate]

Hah. I’m no-not sure whether you’re bra-a-ave or stupid for letting me-e sta-a-ay here.

Not that you-ou could get rid of me.

> @jonahmarshall77

; “ hey !!! hey !! poking you . no , wait , not doing that . i take that back .

uh. i found bones !!! if you want them ! ! ”

( ignoring how i forgot about this account </3. but hello hi !!! ^_^

Sma-a-art not to poke me. I think you-ou might be-e-e the one smart human I’ve met-et.

I’ll take them. Huma-a-an or animal?

*Its voice was starting to glitch again. It did not sound nice.*

[definitely-not-an-alternate]

You-ou, however…

*Its neck snaps at an unnatural angle to stare at you.*

Do no-o-ot have that excuse.

You just ha-a-ave a problem. Or two, or three-e-e.

> @jonahmarshall77

; “ hey !!! hey !! poking you . no , wait , not doing that . i take that back .

uh. i found bones !!! if you want them ! ! ”

( ignoring how i forgot about this account </3. but hello hi !!! ^_^

Sma-a-art not to poke me. I think you-ou might be-e-e the one smart human I’ve met-et.

I’ll take them. Huma-a-an or animal?

*Its voice was starting to glitch again. It did not sound nice.*

[definitely-not-an-alternate]

I didn’t mean it a-as an insult. Just an o-o-observation.

*It leans back against the back wall of the closet, still sitting, its claws clicking against the floor.*

But I doubt tha-a-at the reaction you-ou seem to ha-ave towards corpses is… normal compared to mo-most humans.

Then again, being brought ba-ack from the dead and the-e-en living around something like me-e-e for so long pro-obably has some undesirable consequence-e-es.

> @jonahmarshall77

; “ hey !!! hey !! poking you . no , wait , not doing that . i take that back .

uh. i found bones !!! if you want them ! ! ”

( ignoring how i forgot about this account </3. but hello hi !!! ^_^

Sma-a-art not to poke me. I think you-ou might be-e-e the one smart human I’ve met-et.

I’ll take them. Huma-a-an or animal?

*Its voice was starting to glitch again. It did not sound nice.*

[definitely-not-an-alternate]

*It laughed. It sounded like screeching metal through heavy radio static. Or something like that.*

Y’know, I thi-ink there mi-might be a little somethi-i-ing wrong with you-ou, kid.

> @jonahmarshall77

; “ hey !!! hey !! poking you . no , wait , not doing that . i take that back .

uh. i found bones !!! if you want them ! ! ”

( ignoring how i forgot about this account </3. but hello hi !!! ^_^

Sma-a-art not to poke me. I think you-ou might be-e-e the one smart human I’ve met-et.

I’ll take them. Huma-a-an or animal?

*Its voice was starting to glitch again. It did not sound nice.*

[definitely-not-an-alternate]

> @jonahmarshall77

; “ hey !!! hey !! poking you . no , wait , not doing that . i take that back .

uh. i found bones !!! if you want them ! ! ”

( ignoring how i forgot about this account </3. but hello hi !!! ^_^

Sma-a-art not to poke me. I think you-ou might be-e-e the one smart human I’ve met-et.

I’ll take them. Huma-a-an or animal?

*Its voice was starting to glitch again. It did not sound nice.*

[definitely-not-an-alternate]

For the ones that need it today

[definitely-not-an-alternate]

[definitely-not-an-alternate]

*It laughed tiredly.*

No, no… you’ll be fine… I’ll be… ughh..

Caffeine isn’t… too great for us…

*Its voice sounds really staticky. You can barely understand it.*

“ hey, dude! i got your orange soda and some new ones that had a cool looking label on it.. not sure what the flavours are, though. ”

— @jonahmarshall77

Thanks.

*It pauses for a moment.*

Y’know, Jonah, I think you might be the most interesting human I’ve met in… a long time, we’ll say.

[definitely-not-an-alternate]

You know what? I’m immortal, I might as well.

*It opened the can relatively easily despite its long claws, and took a few sips. It’s pupils had expanded, like a cat’s. That can’t be good.*

Fuuuck. I should’ve checked if that was an energy drink first...

“ hey, dude! i got your orange soda and some new ones that had a cool looking label on it.. not sure what the flavours are, though. ”

— @jonahmarshall77

Thanks.

*It pauses for a moment.*

Y’know, Jonah, I think you might be the most interesting human I’ve met in… a long time, we’ll say.

[definitely-not-an-alternate]

*It takes a can out of the bag and looks at it for a minute.*

I… actually don’t recognize this. That’s a first.

*It turns the can around to look at the other side, and looks almost shocked.*

Wha-

Why the fuck is it watermelon and blueberry flavored?? That sounds like it would taste horrible.

Watermelon doesn’t even have a flavor…

“ hey, dude! i got your orange soda and some new ones that had a cool looking label on it.. not sure what the flavours are, though. ”

— @jonahmarshall77

Thanks.

*It pauses for a moment.*

Y’know, Jonah, I think you might be the most interesting human I’ve met in… a long time, we’ll say.

[definitely-not-an-alternate]

Hah. Probably for the best.

You said you found mystery sodas? I’ve been around for a while, I might know what they are.

“ hey, dude! i got your orange soda and some new ones that had a cool looking label on it.. not sure what the flavours are, though. ”

— @jonahmarshall77

Thanks.

*It pauses for a moment.*

Y’know, Jonah, I think you might be the most interesting human I’ve met in… a long time, we’ll say.