delarosapau-blog

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I care too much, that’s how I get hurt.

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Been about you since I met you

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Blank Pages. Blank Slates.

Lately, I've been trying to fill-up my diary since it hasn't been filled up since April 2017. So, as I was trying to be "productive" I thought of doing it so. But when I started to tell stories and jot down past experiences, I couldn't in any way think of something to say. Maybe because I've been feeling this lump in my throat the past months. Maybe because I haven't gotten over some of the causes of my latest anxieties and fears. Maybe because I couldn't really feel stable the past few months and weeks. I don't know.

As I type this, I still couldn't get hold and organize my "thoughts". All I know is that I'll turn crazy if I don't let this insane and unwelcomed thoughts out. Don't get me wrong, I'm not that depressed. It's just that, I feel like I’m slipping endlessly and tirelessly through the cliff, and that no matter how and when I ask for help, nobody would dare to. 

From now on, I’ll start anew with a clean page and clear heart to face whatever’s in my way. 

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Something New

This might be the first time that I’m welcoming these unwanted feelings. But is it really okay, though?

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We won’t grow knowing the familiar looks at us the same way. It is not romantic to be on one spot our whole lives, it may be safe or sure but it’s limited. That’s what I don’t understand, how some fear the new, the innovation, the gamble where infact we should all be more afraid of not being able to change, we should be uncomfortable when we’re too comfortable, we shouldn’t quit life that easy and settle for convenience. That’s too sad. Mantra should always be: “There’s something out there to learn.” We’ll never run out of interesting things to absorb, we just gotta keep ourselves interested.

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What is done in love is done well.

Vincent Van Gogh (via porsheohporshe)

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People like sitting at the beach because a calm ocean helps the chaotic mind.

highonnumbness  (via wnq-writers)

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I want to get more comfortable being uncomfortable. I want to get more confident being uncertain. I don’t want to shrink back just because something isn’t easy. I want to push back, and make more room in the area between I can’t and I can.

Kristin Armstrong (via blackqueerboi)

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At some point in life, the world’s beauty becomes enough.

Toni Morrison (via quotemadness)

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Merry Christmas!

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Independence!!!

I am raised by an incredible, loving, understanding set of parents, but the thing is I am trained and raised to be a little too independent - emotionally and socially. That is why whatever happens and when things get a little out of hand, I try too hard to be the strongest btch in handling myself, the situation and my emotions. Most especially because my sister and I have been living away from our parents since we entered college. That may be the sole reason why I learned to depend on myself only, without the need to confide to other people which I find it a nuisance and/or burden on their part and since they already have problems of their own.

I may regret being emotionally independent at times, but I find it comforting to just rely on myself and not others

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And when you see those good things–and I promise you, there are so many good things–they’re going to be so much brighter for you than they are for other people, just like the abyss always seems deeper and bigger when you stare at it. If you stick it out, it’s all going to feel worth it in the end. Every moment you live, every darkness you face, they’ll all feel worth it when you’re staring light in the face.

Emily Henry, The Love That Split the World (via wnq-writers)

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Will you..

When it’s not alright, when it’s not okay.. will you stick with me through whatever?

When it’s not alright, when it’s not okay.. will you try to make me feel better or run away? 

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See you soon mom!!

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New Tumblr page it is!