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[delbeugre]

[delbeugre]

When those red backlights fade, the whole world shifts into the unreality of a child’s diorama... A shiny glass terrarium wide enough to hold trillions and trillions of water droplets disguised as stars, of which she and her unlucky friend are caught in the middle of. But it’s almost hysterical, it almost makes her smile, the corners of her lips upturning because of how bitter misfortune can be. Only hours prior, like a pair of plastic dolls, Sadie and Delilah were perched atop cracked barstools. There was no distinct conversation, a silver flask passed between fingers flicking the cap open and shut. Everything around them smelt of sweat and leather. It’s simple, the line is set up for anyone to take the bait, Venus flytraps preparing to be fed — and a few observant suitors surely do swarm like fat flies on the brink of death. After all, they’re only alive enough to fuck and eat.

Sadie reflects on it with an arm slung around her waist, pinching the fabric of her dress between her fingers. The other palm is placed on her forehead in a pose most dramatic, a strange trembling taking over her wrists. The recollection is fuzzy, anger radiating from her cheeks as warmth, stark contrast to the frigid, sunken feeling settling at her feet. Soon enough, her ribs feel like they’re on the outside of her skin, body wreathing inside of itself as fury rises from her legs... A curt decision is made that it’d be best to light up. Her knuckles vanish into her locks and retrieve a spare roach from behind her ear. The flame of her lighter nearly gobbles it whole. She sucks at the poor thing with desperation. For a moment there, the offer didn’t seem like it would unravel into anything more than what it was on the surface — grisly old cowmen suggesting two girls should see all they could possibly see of the flora and fauna. The world makes you feel afraid of things, her uncle once said. It makes you afraid. And with piqued interest, Sadie accepts without considering a man’s (general) slime-ball intentions for more than a second. Afraid. She wasn’t, not with her hands lifted high above her head to grasp at the strings of the breeze while mounted on the seat of a motorcycle, not with her head tipped back as if to take a shot of the night sky. Then, the thrill is cut short, and they’re parked with a screeching halt. The purr of twin bikes still ring in her ears.

We never said the rides were free. 

The cards had been reversed, or perhaps they always were. Without waiting a beat, their company crudely allude to what they desire in return for a few fleeting ticks of excitement. Temper aside, she isn’t afraid now. She’s just eager to keep on moving. After brushing their eyes off like ants climbing up her knees, her mouth tugs into a tiny snarl. “Piss off,” Del spits. “Piss off, piss off, piss off,” it really is that simple, too, because her voice only gets louder and her shoulders broaden, tightening at the blades. Both geezers throw in the towel after less than a minute of her monotonous droning. “Piss. Off.”

So, here they sit, stranded and alone, glued to the stump of a Saguaro cactus like it’s Mother Nature’s bus stop. That roach can’t cough up a breath more, and it’s tossed and smushed with the toe of her boot. “So, Lilah,” she murmurs, voice rasped. “I think we give the ghosts a run for their money.” @delilahastor​ 

[delbeugre]

SADIE BEUGRE / SILVER SPUR RANCH.

[delbeugre]

The sun beats against her shoulders, the last hours of heat sinking deep into her skin. Sadie's only ever admired the desert from glossy pictures in educational magazines... It's just as beautiful as she'd expected, but also astonishingly desolate. Everyone and everything is washed in vermillion as dusk settles along the horizon, and she notes to herself that the air around here is dry. Empty. Her lungs can't seem to get enough in one breath. Knelt down, coarse sand whips the back of her thighs. She's cupping a small, withering rat in her palms, his long hind legs kicking away as she observes. Those big, watery eyes stare right back, a careful thumb nudging under its jaw to really look at the creature. "You're far from home," and in that she finds comfort, because it hasn't been an easy day. She, too, feels small and vulnerable. She, too, feels far from what she knows. Privacy. Sadie is not fond of such close quarters with so many strangers. Not all of them are strangers, of course, but all of them are strange to live with... It feels intrusive. Her conscious has decided to meander around, step out of social circles for the night to admire the creeping death of daylight. To an outsider, her hunched figure might look like a wild thing — you'd half expect her eyes to shine if you pointed your flashlight in her direction. She's done up in alligator skin boots and a thin, white dress torn to shreds and put back together with an absurd amount of safety pins. Her hair falls like a mane framing her face, and when her head snaps around to catch approaching footsteps in their tracks, it is elegantly disheveled. A few stray strands are blown from sticking to her eyelashes. "You scared me. Tired of mingling?" @hcllenic​

[delbeugre]

lifeinpoetry​:

You think because I am a woman, I cannot call myself a dog?

Look at my sweet canine mind, my long, black tongue. I know

what I’m doing.

— Analicia Sotelo, from “Bitch Instinct,” published in Poem-a-Day

[delbeugre]

Have you seen SADIE BEUGRE? DEL is in HER/THEIR SENIOR year. The MATHEMATICS MAJOR is 24 years old & is a CAPRICORN. People say SHE/THEY are GRITTY, BEWITCHING, RETICENT and WASPISH. Rumors say they’re a member of HASTINGS. I heard from the gossip blog that SHE BIT AN EX-BOYFRIEND’S PINKY FINGER OFF AFTER SHE FOUND OUT HE CHEATED, AND THEN HAPPILY SERVED TIME FOR IT.

im tommy im a freak and of course i am here to get freakalicious with u all... this is my newest frankenstein type creation named sadie i know .02% about her yet but i am more than confident she will b nothing but a fun time! like this if ur down to plot!

TW: VIOLENCE, MENTIONS OF JAIL/PROSECUTION, MENTIONS OF SUICIDE, DRUG USE

BACKSTORY

capricorn sun / virgo moon / scorpio rising

raised by her uncle Big (his name) who is a hermit shut in town local in the depths of the florida marshland like some goosebumps protagonist. hes gone far past socially acceptable in terms of his ability to connect with the modern person but is wise beyond belief... his whole vibe is a warped cross between a cryptid and a mountain man that forages and cooks neighborhood plants. married for 27 years before his wife passed from illness. its quite possibly the only thing hes ever been emotional about

but dels entry to his life throws a wrench in his sadness (despite abandonment being what they bond over). she takes the focus away from his loss with her presence; her dad, his brother, died in a tragic train-car collision around the same time (which is speculated to be a suicide bt nobody can ever really be sure). he was a single parent so her custody is thrown up in the air for a few months as cps decides what they r gna do with this freshly orphaned little scrapper

she just kinda turns up on his doorstep n from there they cohabit a space. shes arnd 6-7 at this time... big never seemed to b phased by the fact tht she was a child n tended to treat her more like an apprentice or guest. he was never close to her father because of their age difference, being the older out of the two, so to have his daughter become his responsibility is just..... weird

this doesnt mean that he wouldnt provide for her bt it was. not very parental whatsoever.... no conversation or interaction beyond what was necessary. she was a mute fr a while and still is? to a degree.... very short spoken

when she got to her preteens he offered her an allowance in exchange for little odds and ends of stuff to be taken care of around the house. errands n all tht.... sometimes he wld purposefully leave things for her to pick up n take care of without mentioning it for a bonus. taught her the importance of saving your money and the horrid corruptness of a society basing everythings worth off paper. big exposed her to a lot of knowledge and took advantage of her silent curiosity by fueling it with books, homeschooling, life skills (catching a fish, setting a trap, knowing your berries in the woods...... the works)

her teens carried out the same way bt with the introduction of a real job, a spot down at the local butcher shop checking people out at the register and helping around the back of house. del knows a great deal abt cow/pig/chicken/etc anatomy from her years here..... she committed to being 100% vegan into her early twenties because of her trauma frm this occupation

it paid very well tho n was the best gig she was going to get within a reasonable biking route from home. so she settled!

the plan wasnt to keep it up for long anyway. she worked rly hard for her spot at yates and didnt intend to ever screw herself over. her plan was to get her bachelors, masters, become a professor, pursue a personal hobby of agriculture and build an elaborate greenhouse to live in

bt things happen..... 

some 35yr old douche with a green thumb woos her at a gardening store n swoops in to teach her a little more abt romance; all of this, of course, under the guise that he had all these tips and tricks for living environmentally friendly. a lame hippie wannabe that shouldve never even approached her bt alas.... he did

love is a touchy subject n it hadnt been something she set her sights on, but she was interested in wht this dude could teach her n at 19 she ended up falling in love. she delayed her education to stay an extra year back home and work out another plan which included him

this was very disappointing to her uncle bt he didnt have anything to say abt it. it was never parental before n it was never going to be, so this was another lesson she wld just have to overcome on her own

it turns out that she doesnt care for infidelity. when the confession comes out its met with a lot of screaming, bawling, blistering white hot anger. the whole incident is blacked out of her mind to b honest....

matters of the heart are no longer something to concern herself with because of the repercussions of her rash behavior regarding heartbreak O________O she spent a year in jail n still has to attend therapy / anger management meetings

deep down she is still hurting. there was a lot of pain... bt the sadness is not over the loss of some noob. she is in a state of constant disappointment, detaching from herself out of shame. putting her own life on pause only for it to turn out like that? stupid stupid stupid... 

PERSONALITY

chugging along! tldr spectre-like swamp nymph aura with the slightest (not so slight) unhinged feral tendencies

delicate like a moth resting in the gleam of a flashlight.... her anger singes her wings when shes too comfortable staying in one place, so theres always constant stimulation, always shifting gears. shes prone to feeling threatened; that being said, sadie is wary of walking in crowds, a little bit skittish when approached without making eye contact beforehand. like a small grey kitten..... in a big wide world

has a hard time keeping a conversation bt is very interested in debate, and even more so in studying alongside someone in complete silence. it reminds her of home in the same sense tht her uncle wld nudge her to keep reading by always having his own book open

doesnt have many friends and is alright with that. rumors are tht she is still a virgin bt who really knows? not i...... bt i wldnt be surprised if this was true. shes not impressed by people nor material items so this whole yates crowd is a turn off

she is truly clueless when it comes to how to behave around anyone her age. i think she understands but it just doesnt compute. she could come off as impolite bt it is just standoffishness? some people cld try to crack her but i dont think even she knows what that would be, or what that would look like. even in her one (1) failed relationship it was never deep heart to hearts or sharing dinner..... solitude is her realm

del is very comfortable with herself, very open with her wardrobe! doesnt leave too much to the imagination? she appreciates the human experience n expresses that thru this whole “body is a temple” type thing.... not quite confidence, but proudness of being. has gotten multiple notices frm professors for her tops being too sheer, nylons too ratted up, etc. has dirt under her fingernails half the time, chipped polish, some chapstick. smudges her eyeshadow on with her fingers

doesnt smoke cigarettes all too often but is dependent on weed. it kinda perpetuates her paranoid demeanor bt at the same time it keeps her lax enough to be able to mentally handle city life

her room is a playground for huge monstera plants, christmas cacti, ivy creeping along the doorway. she sleeps on a tiny thin mattress on the floor with a linen sheet and has her books stacked up on the ground next to it to hold her ashtray. the whole thing is dumb empty

takes her studies seriously and pinches every penny she can..... she has never ordered herself a coffee frm somewhere before, ordered food frm a restaurant... nothing. i wld think the most she would branch out from harvesting everything on her own is buying a bag of sunflower seeds frm a gas station, but even then, she much prefers eating stuff she grows herself. has a tomato plant, some basil beginning to sprout, etc.... manageable crops for any college students tiny space

...

bt yea thats it thats all! connections cld be all over the place. im legit open to anything. theres only a few tht come to mind right off that bat: 

a few people that get along with her? same classes? they shared a bowl n now theyre getting into the nitty gritty of some personal conversation that is veering into no mans land....

some sort of clueless makeover moment? arent rly into sadie as a person bt see a lot of potential... perhaps need a plus one to a party on the fly and figure thats the best option theyve got

crushes? this wld be fun n potentially dangerous! like playing with a hot cast iron pan or something :)

again im vry new to rp so i wld like to leave a lot of stuff up to chemistry, brainstorming n stuff like that, but please consider everything on the table! what i hav mentioned is the tip of the iceberg im so burnt out n i wrote a lot more than i intended to i am so sorry but i promise i am friendly

[delbeugre]

[delbeugre]

universitylibraries​:

Tell me where it hurts, she'd say. Stop howling. Just calm down and show me where. But some people can't tell where it hurts. They can't calm down. They can't ever stop howling.

The Blind Assassin, Margaret Atwood

[delbeugre]