delusionalblfan - Tumblr blog

[delusionalblfan]

I'm sitting at uni freaking out about omegaverse car racing instead of actually paying attention to my lecture and honestly idk what that says about me

[delusionalblfan]

And all the possibilities the second season of pit babe can bring us. The old regrets and resentment i thought were buried. The hatred that filled my heart but that actually made me cry like a baby. The honest love that begs for nothing but just that...love! The sense of family. I am telling you. My expectations are high high hiiigh

[delusionalblfan]

The fact that I can watch more of Charlie and fall even more in love with him. My heart is already filled with love for him I think it will explode

[delusionalblfan]

When I tell you I am much more excited about pit babe season 2 than the fact that I am actually progressing on my career...my parents would be so disappointed if they knew my priorities

[delusionalblfan]

FIRST AND KHAOTUNG AND MAFIA AND TATTOOS? AND FIRST'S CHARACTER BEING A FLIRT????? I AM ON CLOUD NINE

[delusionalblfan]

can anyone tell me when we'll be able to watch the special episode of the sign? my life cannot progress until i see it. i can watch other series, i can work, i can eat, i can sleep…but i am not living. seriously. i need it

[delusionalblfan]

via inspiresatur @ twitter | 21042024

[delusionalblfan]

when Yuan says 'i wish i could tie you up' Qian's face screams 'you can't?' and that's art

[delusionalblfan]

i don't get an escalation of anger mixed with embarrassment as bad as when i am reaching that peak of emotion while watching a series and someone interrupts me. you motherfreaker i was crying and i cannot cry in front of you. can you please leave? or can you at least make yourself not noticeable the next time? can you pretend you didn't see me cry? can you evaporate from earth? can you just go d..

[delusionalblfan]

my drama list would be doubled if i counted those series i don't even know if i like but i know i will like some scenes that i saw gifs of. so i end up watching the episodes while skipping most part of them. like i don't even understand the story of ghost host ghost house but i do know they have a banger chemistry. or i still don't know the relationship and/or friendship between the boys in i'm tee me too but i know i love Off Jumpol's screams

[delusionalblfan]

and another, kinda related to that, is that pity is real and can be hurtful for the soul but if you say you don't pity anyone you are fooling yourself

One of the most important survival skills as an adult is internalising the idea that other people being rude or dismissive towards you for no apparent reason, is most often a reflection of their problems (shitty attitude, bad day, work stress, family stress) and usually has nothing to do with you.

[delusionalblfan]

when i am daydreaming i think 'oh i really would love to be Babe, Yuan, Tharn, Tang Yi, Akk, Heart, Ji Woo…'. and that doesn't mean they are my favorite characters. their others halves are. but i don't dare and don't even have the structure to be the good that i see in my favorite characters. i don't have the soul to be what i want to. i don't have the emotion to feel what i truly want to. i can't do this for myself. but i can do good for the ones that i love. and this is kinda sad now that i am thinking...

[delusionalblfan]

i get Yuan. it is irrevocably impossible to not fall in love with Qian, being in Yuan's position. impossible. and it's obvious that mountains would be moved and any single thing would be done, just for Qian. the man deserves the world

[delusionalblfan]

i was not prepared for unknown to end today. i was not prepared to let go. i wanted to cling to it for 2 more weeks. that was the deal. not to feel all of this and so much at one single day.

[delusionalblfan]

Regardless if this was intentional for this reason, I think it's smart to have Qian play with lighter after having learned about San Pang and Lili since he is a former smoker because, to me, he is thinking about how nice a cigarette would be to calm his nerves.

Also, I liked several moments about the Lili and San Pang reveal like that Qian saw very visible and physical markers of Lili and San Pang's relationship because it's a nice comparison to the soft touches that Yuan gives Qian (and that he shrugs off).

Hickeys are slightly aggressive compared to the passive domesticity that Yuan and Qian exhibit by cooking for each other and laying in bed. Hickeys cannot be denied unlike all those other forms of intimacy. They are obvious. They mark the flesh.

I appreciated that Lili did NOT want San Pang to admit their relationship.

And that San Pang didn't look Qian in the eye when he said it, which is the first time San Pang hasn't looked directly at Qian.

But Lili can look Qian in the eye because SHE went after San Pang first. SHE initiated this relationship. Lili states that San Pang protected her, that San Pang has been there for her, and she likes him, which sounds familiar.

Finally, even if no one admitted it, Qian figured out that everyone knew but him, and even if they weren't all told directly by Lili or San Pang, they knew.

And that's what Qian states he is actually pissed about - That everyone knew, and he had to find out from this very visible display of physical intimacy.

Yuan knew and approved. Yuan even states that San Pang treats Lili well. So even if Yuan wasn't told, he figured it out.

Once again, everyone knew what was happening but Qian.

Everyone figured it out but Qian until he saw the physical markers of it.

Everyone realized the obvious.

Everyone knew.

But him.

And he didn't.

Until he got an aggressive reminder

Of exactly what everyone knew all along.

Everyone.

God, a cigarette would be nice right about now, huh?

Or a good parallel.

[delusionalblfan]

weekly break to appreciate how hot chris chiu is