delusionalezhno

[delusionalezhno]

I write constant works weekly to myself, to this, in my art but all I’ve ever wanted was for someone to know why and read it, feel it like I do.

All I’ve ever wanted is for someone to understand why I’m sad, and not force me to be happy.

Maybe all I’ve ever wanted is to be sad

[delusionalezhno]

Part of me is screaming that if I don’t start feeling happy I’ll die.

[delusionalezhno]

[delusionalezhno]

“You are going to want to give up. Don’t.”

— Unknown

[delusionalezhno]

I can sense you're falling out of love with me.

[delusionalezhno]

My Trans Body, J. Jennifer Espinoza

[delusionalezhno]

“Love bores you?”

“No, it disappoints me.”

[delusionalezhno]

uh oh i miss something i can’t name again. i want to go home to something that doesn’t exist again. does anyone have a gun

[delusionalezhno]

Does life ever get to that point, the same point I get to when I drink?

When the bottom of my tongue swells, like people crowding the street. And I start to salivate so hard that it fills my mouth.

I’m forced to spit, like the taste after we smoked that cigarette.

Does like get over filling and make you spit?

I crave the taste, to start salivating.

[delusionalezhno]

To be loved, and in love at the same time.

When stars collide.

[delusionalezhno]

The tragedy of life or maybe just my life is that maybe I never looked up. I was too nervous about the smudges on my arms, the bruises from falling, the cuts in between my fingers to ever look up. That there has been a countless amount of people that have stared into my soul only to find a forest. And me? Eyes scare me.

What if they’ve always looked at me like that and I can’t get the grip to look up.

“Someday, someone is going to look at you with a light in their eyes you’ve never seen, they’ll look at you like you’re everything they’ve been looking for their entire lives. Wait for it.”

— Unknown

[delusionalezhno]

Fuck you die.

[delusionalezhno]

[delusionalezhno]

don't fall in love with the sadness again. don't fall in love with the sadness again. DON'T FALL IN LOVE WITH THE SADNESS AGAIN.

[delusionalezhno]

[delusionalezhno]

you don't deserve my love

you don't deserve a single prayer that has fallen from my lips just for you

you deserve someone just like you - smart, heartless, inconsistent, selfish, unfaithful

[delusionalezhno]

She’s the kind of girl you don’t just meet, you find her in poems, dreams, and quiet prayers. She’s so innocent, sensitive, and soft-hearted that even the smallest things can bring her to tears, but when you see her cry, you feel like taking on the whole world just to protect her.