demo-at-barnes-and-noble

[demo-at-barnes-and-noble]

It's ma turn tae restock supplies at base an ye can always tell which shampoo is the Spy's because it's always somethin like "l'eau champeaux trés radiánte pour le cigarette jaquéarse" and always has at least 3 equally bloody incomprehensible friends tae go wit it

[demo-at-barnes-and-noble]

Book just fell off the shelf an I nearly soiled maself

Last time I go upstairs unarmed

[demo-at-barnes-and-noble]

Here’s a secret tip for all ye: hollow out the least valuable book ye can find and put a good-sized flask in there. Nobody’s goin tae the bookstore for Twilight, I’ll tell you that

And if any of ye ARE, let me tell ye this: it’s the least accurate book ye can find in the whole place. I’ll bet ma whole arse Stephanie never seen a werewolf her entire life

[demo-at-barnes-and-noble]

Lady jus asked me why I need to wear an eyepatch

Aye Barbara it’s so I’m only half as rude when I stare at ye fer askin such a bloody bawheid fookin question

[demo-at-barnes-and-noble]

I don’t know whose good idea it was tae give children the stupid talking books

Fuck right up with yer stupid Winnie the soddin Pooh board books, ye ain’t foolin anyone with your saccharine nightmare fuel

Whole upper level like a cursed jack-in-the-box

[demo-at-barnes-and-noble]

What are ye doin in there ye spooky bastart???? Nearly gave me a heart attack

WHAT IS A BOOMER

[demo-at-barnes-and-noble]

All right but if this a prank just ye be warned

WHAT IS A BOOMER

[demo-at-barnes-and-noble]

Flattered mate, we’re both the best boomers in the desert .)

WHAT IS A BOOMER

[demo-at-barnes-and-noble]

Aye whichever hair up their arse bloody Englishman keeps puttin the fairy tales in the fiction section, when I find ye you’re gonnae be handed back to your mother in a dustpan