demonslullaby

[demonslullaby]

It’s not the actual goodbye that hurts.

It’s the lack of good morning texts and not hearing your voice tell me you love me.

It’s not the goodbye, it’s the sudden absence of the person you love the most

[demonslullaby]

[demonslullaby]

anyone who was an ugly girl in middle school has incredible social perception now. like no other life experience trains you to spot fake niceness like that

[demonslullaby]

What a weird horse

[demonslullaby]

Fat girls spent their childhoods and teenage years developing fire ass personalities to even be looked at as human. So as we grow older and start loving ourselves more and more and we finally see how beautiful we are, we already have a fucking great personality. I’ve never met a fat girl who wasn’t funny as shit and who didn’t have a bomb ass personality. And when the self love finally kicks in wooo shit boy watch out, because we definitely out here ruining lives.

[demonslullaby]

[demonslullaby]

what she says: i’m fine

what she means: Hermit crabs are highly misunderstood creatures that are far more complex than people give them credit for. Despite their name, they are social creatures who display complex behaviors such as curiosity and memory. These invertebrates display individual personalities and habits, likes and dislikes. Yet people buy them as simple souvenir pets and expect them to live for maybe a year, when they can actually live a decade or more in proper conditions. All hermits sold are taken from the wild, and are often forced out of their natural, fitting shells into toxic-coated painted shells just to get kids to buy them. With their clueless owners they are given just enough resources to survive on, but over time will succumb to health issues such as deteriorating gills and buildup of molting hormone, or simply loneliness from being kept in isolation from other hermits. It’s just so unfair that these cute critters are so misunderstood and so abused and we really need to do something about this.

[demonslullaby]

Me, the best crab mom ever: *offers hermit crabs a five course gourmet meal with organic “surf n turf” crab food purchased from an online retailer, chops fresh vegetables into claw-sized pieces, basically takes better care of hermit crab nutrition than my own*

My crab sons:

My crab sons:

My crab sons:

My crab sons: i must consume this wheat thin

My crab sons: using my own feces for dip

My crab sons: aren’t we genius little spider dogs

My crab sons: bone app the teeth

[demonslullaby]

me before hermit crab: I want a job so i dont feel like a worthless piece of shit

me now: i need a job so i can buy my hermit crab a friend and a 20 gallon tank and a climbing wall and another pool and a special diet and

[demonslullaby]

It amazes me that I can accurately type at top speed without looking at my keyboard but still pour water down my shirt ‘cause I missed my mouth in general.

[demonslullaby]

Parents: why you wanna move so bad

Me: independence

Me in head: gettin a lizard

[demonslullaby]

[demonslullaby]

i literally dont talk to anyone unless they talk to me first

[demonslullaby]

my body, tearfully: when sleep???

me: my dude we just woke up!! It’s time for wakefulness and doing things and Productivity

my body, weeping: but???? when sleep?????

[demonslullaby]

[demonslullaby]

game: you can buy clothing and accessories for your character, but we advise that you focus on other, more important things like- me, walking into the marketplace: