denmark101

[denmark101]

How to Live in Denmark in the Media

On TV2’s “Go’ Morgen Danmark,” Kay recently discussed the differences between US and Danish working culture in the context of the US 2020 election.

In addition, DR.DK featured Kay in a story about how Americans perceive Danish social habits.

Journalist og forfatter Kay Xander Mellish, der har boet i Danmark siden år 2000 og har udgivet bøger med titler som ‘How to Live in Denmark’ og ‘How to Work in Denmark’. Bøgerne er skrevet med en tilflytters perspektiv og kaster et kærligt-kritisk blik på danskernes vaner og uvaner.

– Jeg er for nylig begyndt at coache danskere i de kulturelle forskelle, de vil opleve, når de laver forretninger i USA. Her er en vigtig læring, at danskere generelt ikke bryder sig om at give positiv feedback, medmindre noget er virkelig sensationelt,

Kay also noted the difference in the way Danes and Americans handle social events, particularly dinner parties.

“Når du er til et middagsselskab i Danmark, forventes det, at du bliver hængende virkelig, virkelig længe. Det forventes også, at du bliver siddende på den samme plads hele aftenen og i øvrigt drikker store mængder alkohol,” siger Kay Xander Mellish.

“Når du er inviteret til middag i USA, så rejser du dig, når du er færdig med at spise, og går måske ind i stuen og ser tv eller gamer sammen eller går i biografen. I USA tolkes det som dårlig opdragelse, hvis du bliver hængende for længe og bliver en byrde for din vært.

“I Danmark tolkes det derimod som uhøfligt, hvis du som gæst tager tidligt hjem. Da jeg kom hertil, kom jeg til at fornærme mange danskere, fordi jeg ikke forstod denne kulturelle forskel.”

Finally, BBC.com quoted Kay Xander Mellish in its story The Single Word that Connects Denmark.

It quoted Kay as saying:

Heavily subsidised through taxes, Danish daycare centres foster social mindedness early in life. “Almost everyone goes to public daycare in Denmark,” said Kay Xander Mellish, author of the books How to Live in Denmark and How to Work in Denmark. “Even Prince Christian, the future King Christian XI, attended public daycare.” Every child born in Denmark is guaranteed a place in daycare from six months to six years of age where the emphasis is on playing and socialising – formal education doesn’t begin until age eight or nine.

A culture where everyone is well looked after fosters trust and a sense of all being in it together

“In the first few years,” said Mellish, “children learn the basic rules for functioning as a society. They learn how to sit at a table at lunch time, wait until it is their turn to be served, and feed themselves. In the playground, they spend most of their time in “free play”, in which they make up rules for their own games.”

Staff generally don’t lead play, she explained, which “allows the children to form their own groups and learn how to work together on their own.”

Hear all our How to Live in Denmark podcasts on Spotify and on Apple Podcasts (iTunes).

  Get the How to Work in Denmark Book for more tips on finding a job in Denmark, succeeding at work, and understanding your Danish boss. It can be ordered via Amazon or Saxo.com or from any bookstore using the ISBN 978-743-000-80-8. Contact Kay to ask about bulk purchases, or visit our books site to find out how to get the eBook. You can also book a How to Work in Denmark event with Kay for your school, company, or professional organization.

          Want to read more? Try the How to Live in Denmark book, available in paperback or eBook editions, and in English, Chinese, and Arabic. If you represent a company or organization, you can also book Kay Xander Mellish to stage a How to Live in Denmark event tailored for you, including the popular How to Live in Denmark Game Show. Kay stages occasional free public events too. Follow our How to Live in Denmark Facebook page to keep informed.

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[denmark101]

Moving to Denmark: A few basic tips

Denmark is a lovely place to settle down for a while, or even permanently if you are ready to do battle with the immigration authorities.

Make sure you bring money. Denmark is an expensive place to live where you will own less stuff, but better stuff.

That said, there’s no need to bring much furniture, in particular if your furniture is nothing special.

You can easily purchase basic pieces from IKEA, either in Denmark or in IKEA’s homeland of Sweden, and there’s also the option of buying gorgeous Danish design furniture inexpensively at local second-hand stores and flea markets.

Clothing and beauty products Bring lots of casual, warm, and waterproof clothing. You don’t need huge polar jackets – Denmark rarely goes below 0 Fahrenheit/-15 Celsius – but halter tops and suede loafers will see very little service.

When it comes to business clothing, blazers, sweaters, and trousers in subtle colors are usually your best bet. (Danes are not great fans of whimsy or eccentricity when it comes to clothing or jewelry.)

Pack extras of any beauty brands or personal care brands you can’t live without. Items sent from the US (or anywhere else outside the EU) to Denmark require substantial postage plus withering customs and administration fees. Plan on at least $50 per item.

In addition, if there are any over-the-counter medicine brands you find comforting when you are sick – NyQuil, Pepto-Bismol, Sinutab, etc. – bring them along.

Danes don’t do a lot of over-the-counter medicine; their preferred remedy is a nap and a cup of tea. Generic Tylenol and Advil are easy to find in Denmark.

An apartment in Denmark If you rent an apartment in Denmark, be aware that it will need to be spotless, repainted, and sometimes refloored when you return it. Take time-stamped photos on the day you move in to avoid arguments later.

Many urban apartments do not have bathtubs, only showers. In some cases, you will need to buy your own refrigerator and washer-dryer for a rental apartment.

Europe uses a different electrical current than the US, so leave your blenders, mixers, and hairdryers at home unless you want to constantly use them with a converter, which is a pain and a fire hazard.

Bedding systems are different, too; mattresses are thinner and there are no flat sheets.

Kitchen garbage disposals do not exist in Denmark. Instead, many communities have specific programs to pick up organic waste, which is carefully separated from plastic, metal, paper, and glass.

Air conditioning is unusual in Denmark, because the weather is rarely hot enough to require it. You can always open a window, but the windows have no screens.

Religious services If you’re a Christian and want to go to services during your time in Denmark, seek out an international church. Danish state churches, which are supported by a voluntary tax, are very quiet and usually poorly attended.

There are very small Jewish and Hindu communities in Denmark, and a large Muslim community. Muslims make up roughly 6% of the Danish population, and there are several new and attractive mosques financed from abroad.

Medical care in Denmark Anyone with legal residence in Denmark is entitled to tax-financed Danish medical care. You will be asked to choose a doctor shortly after you arrive, selecting from a list of general practitioners with offices close to your home address.

Ask your colleagues for recommendations; alternately, you may get some good tips from the many Facebook groups for internationals living in Denmark.

Eyeglasses, dentistry for adults, and some types of mental health care are not covered by the public system, so you’ll have to pay for those services out of pocket if you need them.

Annual physicals are uncommon, and testing is less extensive. Mammograms start at age 50, for example, instead of age 40 as in much of the US.

Danish physicians shy away from prescription medicine, particularly antibiotics, painkillers, and sleep medication. (Even melatonin is technically illegal in Denmark.)

Medical care for specific cases In addition, some people of Asian or African descent living in Denmark have told me that ethnic Danish doctors aren’t always familiar with medical conditions that are specific to people of color, such as sickle cell anemia.

Finding a doctor who shares your ethnicity isn’t always possible, particularly outside of the big cities.

You may need to get aggressive about your care, insisting on a second opinion, if you suspect that your doctor isn’t giving you the right advice.

This may also be true if you have a specific medical condition and are accustomed to getting a specific medication at home.

Not all pharmaceuticals are available in Denmark, and ordering your pharma online from outside the country is illegal.

If you’re caught, you can get a fine and a police record that will affect your ability to achieve permanent residency or citizenship.

Entertainment Most English-language movies and TV shows in Denmark are presented in the original version with Danish-language subtitles, so you’ll be able to watch many of your favorite shows on the local version of Netflix or HBO Nordic.

The selection isn’t as extensive as it might be at home, however, and some shows are only available a few weeks or months after they premiere elsewhere. (You can use a VPN to try to get around this.)

Some services, like Amazon Prime, use geo-blocking so that even shows you have downloaded in the US cannot be viewed in Denmark. Others will let you purchase and download films from your US account even though you are in Denmark.

If you like board games, consider bringing along some versions with English-language boards and English-language rules.

And if you’re an eager cook who relies on specific ingredients, bring them along. Denmark does have Asian and African markets that offer a variety of spices, but if you need ingredients that are specifically North American or Latin American – canned pumpkin, for example, or specific chilis – you may be out of luck.

A few US foods that are also popular with Danes, such as French’s hot dog mustard, are available in the American “ethnic” section of supermarkets, which is sometimes set off with tiny American flags.

This is an excerpt from Kay Xander Mellish’s new book, Working with Danes: Tips for Americans. You can see more excerpts by following Kay on LinkedIn.

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[denmark101]

Denmark is not just Copenhagen

One of the things that surprised me when I first moved to Denmark is that there could be so many distinctions and divisions between fewer than six million people living in an area half the size of Indiana.

But the differences exist, and they are deeply felt.

Stopping by Copenhagen and saying you’ve seen Denmark is a little bit like stopping by Manhattan and Disney World and saying you’ve seen the United States. (And many Danes do precisely this.)

Dry humor in Jylland While Copenhagen is both the capital of the country and its business center, much of the country’s wealth is generated in Jylland, the large land mass stuck to Germany.

Jylland is the source of most of Denmark’s agricultural exports, particularly pork, and many of its best engineers, who these days largely concern themselves with green energy technology.

People from Jylland are known for their extremely dry humor and low excitement levels, which become more pronounced the further north you go.

I found this out for myself when I brought my How to Live in Denmark Game Show comedy presentation to Brande, a town of about 7000 out in the countryside.

The same jokes that had wowed audiences numerous times elsewhere in the country earned only stone-faced silence, and the occasional upturned mouth corner.

After it was over, I apologized to the organizer, and said I was sorry that they hadn’t liked the show.

“What do you mean?” she said. “They had a great time. “This is how they look when they’re having a great time.”

Different regional accents Danes from various parts of Denmark also have sharply different accents. Some regional dialects, like Bornholmsk and Sønderjysk, are so specialized that people speaking them are subtitled on Danish TV.

It’s common for urban types to make fun of people who speak like they come from the countryside, calling them bonderøv, or “farmer butts.”

The “proper” dialect-free version of Danish is rigsdansk – Danish as spoken by the monarch. In addition, there is a government agency that updates the dictionary, approves spellings, and produces complex rules about commas that have even highly educated Danes tearing their hair out.

On a daily basis, most Danes speak a casual, urban form of the language, peppered with English words and a good deal of English-language profanity.

Many think these words are fun and colorful and have no idea why anyone might be offended by them.

Drive the Daisy Route If you have a good amount of time in Denmark and are itching to get behind the wheel of a car, consider taking a short trip along the Marguerite Route, otherwise known as the Daisy Route, a 2200-mile network of small roads through the prettiest parts of the Danish countryside.

You’ll see the magnificent white-sand beaches of West Jylland, the straw-roofed houses in villages on Fyn, the treacherous chalk cliffs at Møns, and the beautiful castle at Helsingør that features in Shakespeare’s “Hamlet.”

Taking a weekend off to explore the Danish countryside will give you a sense of the natural diversity of this green, peaceful country, something you can’t fully appreciate in the taxi between your office and the airport.

This is an excerpt from Kay Xander Mellish’s new book, Working with Danes: Tips for Americans. You can see more excerpts by following Kay on LinkedIn.

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[denmark101]

Working with Danes: Tips for Americans – Get the book!

Working with Danes: Tips for Americans, Kay Xander Mellish’s new book, is now available in eBook form.

The print book will be published later in Fall 2020.

Denmark is a great place to do business. Infrastructure is superb, corruption minimal, and the Danes sincerely enjoy a good business deal.

Yet when Americans arrive with their burning ambition and enthusiasm, they sometimes experience tensions with the modest, calm, practical Danes.

This book is a companion volume to last year’s popular book, Working with Americans: Tips for Danes.

Working with Danes: Tips for Americans covers aspects like:

How to manage the anti-authoritarian Danes and build consensus

Why your Danish colleagues may undersell their products or skills

What times of year you should avoid for campaigns and launches

Why giving too much positive feedback can be a turnoff for Danes

How transparency and trust is key to negotiating in Denmark

Why you should never say “let’s have lunch” unless you mean it

The book also includes tips on dining, driving, and diversity in Denmark, plus tips on what to wear, how to give gifts, and why someone might put a Danish flag on your desk on your birthday.

It also includes a short section with ideas for how to prepare for long-term stays in Denmark.

For the moment, the eBook is available exclusively on Amazon.

Visit our Books about Denmark page for information about all our books, including How to Work in Denmark: Tips for finding a job, succeeding at work, and understanding your Danish boss; How to Live in Denmark: An entertaining guide for foreigners and their Danish friends; and Top 35 Mistakes Danes Make in English.

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[denmark101]

usa denmark cultural differences

Interested in the cultural differences between the US and Denmark?

In preparation for her upcoming book, “Working with Danes: Tips for Americans”, Kay Xander Mellish has created a selection of articles about US business culture vs Danish business culture.

Kay discusses business culture in Denmark, with its emphasis on low hierarchy and trust, as well as business etiquette in Denmark.

  Hear all our How to Live in Denmark podcasts on Spotify and on Apple Podcasts (iTunes).

  Get the How to Work in Denmark Book for more tips on finding a job in Denmark, succeeding at work, and understanding your Danish boss. It can be ordered via Amazon or Saxo.com or from any bookstore using the ISBN 978-743-000-80-8. Contact Kay to ask about bulk purchases, or visit our books site to find out how to get the eBook. You can also book a How to Work in Denmark event with Kay for your school, company, or professional organization.

          Want to read more? Try the How to Live in Denmark book, available in paperback or eBook editions, and in English, Chinese, and Arabic. If you represent a company or organization, you can also book Kay Xander Mellish to stage a How to Live in Denmark event tailored for you, including the popular How to Live in Denmark Game Show. Kay stages occasional free public events too. Follow our How to Live in Denmark Facebook page to keep informed.

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[denmark101]

Danish Music

If you’ve always wanted to listen to more Danish music, now probably isn’t the time: thousands of Danish songs recently disappeared from YouTube due to a copyright dispute.

Music isn’t one of Denmark’s most famous exports, even when it is available. While Danish housewares and furniture design are popular all over the world, most Danish music fans are local, particularly when it comes to Danish-language rap.

But that doesn’t mean Danish music isn’t deeply loved by its fans.

The overflowing back catalog of “greatest hits” from the past decades’ pop charts will get Danes on the dance floor at any party, particularly if they’ve been drinking.

You can pick out the internationals in the group by noticing who is still on the sidelines, looking a little bewildered and trying limply to catch the beat.

International breakout acts A few Danish acts have in fact broken out internationally. Michael Learns to Rock, a 90s soft-rock band, is still hugely popular in Asia. If you’re in a dive bar in Thailand or a noodle joint in Shanghai, you might hear these guys crooning in the background.

Christopher, a blond, curly-haired Dane from the much-mocked Copenhagen district of Amager, has become quite successful in China by touring the non-glamorous cities there and building up a fan base. He eventually got a tasty sponsorship contract with Huawei Mobile, which may have paid more than his music ever did.

Mew, Lukas Graham, Mø, and Oh Land are all pop and rock acts that come from Denmark and have achieved international attention over the past decade, and a Danish songwriter was behind Lady Gaga’s hit “Born this Way.”

And, of course, Aqua’s 1997 pop hit “Barbie Girl” is still referenced all over the world. Aqua’s Wikipedia entry describes them as “the most profitable Danish band ever.”

A good place to be a music fan Denmark is a good place to be a music fan: most international acts stop here on their tours, and there are a lot of great venues to see smaller local acts.

I particularly like Vega in Copenhagen, a beautiful old wood-paneled hall with great acoustics and an intimate feel.

If you like singer-songwriters, the wonderful high-tech DR Koncerthus in Copenhagen sometimes switches out the symphony with a girl or guy and a guitar. It’s worth getting on their mailing list, because tickets sell out quickly.

Aarhus, Aalborg, and Odense also have good local music scenes, and Herning has a big stadium that attracts international acts. One Direction played its last Danish concert there – at least the last one until their inevitable reunion tour.

And, of course, there’s always the outdoor Roskilde Festival, in non-coronavirus years, and smaller outdoor festivals like Skanderborg’s “Smukfest.”

Tivoli in Copenhagen runs popular Friday night concerts that usually feature top Danish stars and somewhat faded international acts. If you like 80s and 90s groups from the US or UK, this is a good place to see them.

Singing is Danish music Denmark also has a jazz scene – which thrived in the 1960s, bringing numerous African-American musicians to Denmark – and a classical music past. The classical composer Carl Nielsen was the topic of a question on my Danish citizenship test.

But most common way Danes experience music is by singing.

I wrote about drinking songs and children’s songs in an earlier blog post on Danes and Singing, but I’ve since learned that even professional events sometimes begin with a song from the “>Danish High School Song Book, one of the country’s best-selling books for generations.

It’s quite impressive to watch your colleagues spontaneously cheer up and sing out in unison an entire set of lyrics they learned during their school days.

Having not attended school here, I do a lot of smiling and nodding along.

The official Danish song book The Danish High School Song Book was first published in 1894 but is updated regularly. Version 18, which was published in 2006, includes some English and German songs, as well as four songs by the local rock icon Kim Larsen.

Version 19 is due out this year and is scheduled to include a nod to the country’s expanding Muslim population, with a song about celebrating Ramadan in Copenhagen’s Nørrebro district.

Not yet clear is the fate of a (newly) controversial song, the 1923 Carl Nielsen melody Den danske sang er en ung, blond pige. (“Danish song is a young, blonde girl”).

The very popular song – which despite its title, is about Danish landscapes, not Danish women – was the subject of a complaint in 2018 by a female professor at Copenhagen Business School. It was sung before an internal meeting, and the professor found it offensive.

My own Danish music library Since Danish music isn’t on YouTube for the moment, I took the opportunity to go through my own download library and see what Danish music I’d purchased in the days before Spotify and other streaming services.

I found three songs: two by the 2000s-era rap duo Nik and Jay, working-class Danish boys who rapped mostly about the joys of hot girls, and one by Basim, who represented Denmark at the Eurovision Song Contest in 2015.

The Eurovision contest, and its associated programs Melodi Grand Prix and the children’s version of Melodi Grand Prix, are an unavoidable part of the Danish music scene. Everyone makes fun of them, but the streets of Denmark are empty on the night the programs are broadcast.

Basim, a cheerful pop singer who is often compared to Bruno Mars, is a Dane of Moroccan origin.

He caused a great deal of astonishment from racists on both the right and the left when, at the very climax of the upbeat “Cliché Love Song”, a giant Danish flag dropped down behind him amid a shower of rose petals.

“Because I’m Danish,” Basim explained later.

It was very inspirational, in my opinion.

Basim’s song – which is probably my favorite pop song to have come out of Denmark – doesn’t seem to be affected by the YouTube dispute, so you can watch it now. Check it out here.

Hear all our How to Live in Denmark podcasts on Spotify and on Apple Podcasts (iTunes).

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[denmark101]

Danes and Boats

It’s a funny kind of summer this year in Copenhagen, without the usual swarm of tourists.

No blustering American cruise ship passengers looking for KONG-ens Nytorv (pronounced like the protagonist in “King Kong”). No groups of petite elderly Chinese ladies posing for pictures around the Hans Christian Andersen statue. No European families wobbling on their rental bikes and riding very, very slowly in the bike lanes.

Because of the coronavirus, only tourists from Norway, Iceland, and Germany are welcome in Denmark this summer, and they’re a lot like family anyway.

In a sense, we longtime residents have the city for ourselves. It’s rather nice.

Of course, there’s less to do – no Copenhagen Jazz Festival, no Roskilde Festival, no Distortion, and a lot fewer of the big family parties and graduation bashes that keep things lively in other years.

But there are still the parks, the gardens, and the water. There’s nothing more eternal in Denmark than going out on a boat.

A boating nation Denmark is a boating nation, from the days when the Vikings built innovative ships to the present, when the coast is dotted with marinas for pleasure boats.

The country has won 30 Olympic medals in sailing – 12 of them gold. That’s more than it has won in any other sport.

And many of the comforts of the Danish welfare state were paid for by the (now reduced) profits of Maersk, the world’s largest operator of container ships.

Cheap boating options You wouldn’t get much joy out of spending a sunny summer day on a container ship, but even if you don’t own one of the 57,000 pleasure boats currently docked in Danish harbors, you can still get out on the water.

The yellow harbor bus costs no more than a standard bus ticket and gives you the chance to see some of the city’s most famous monuments – like the Black Diamond and the Little Mermaid – from the water.

Or you can upgrade a bit with a DK50 trip on the famous flat-bottom boats, which provide better seats and tourist guide narration in Danish, English, German, and sometimes French.

(If you speak more than one of these languages, it’s always entertaining to hear how the guides tailor their presentations for different language groups. As I recall, the Germans get more numbers.)

Upgrade a little more, and you can rent your own kayak, plus a kayaking teacher if you need one.

Get out on the water Maybe the harbor is too small for you and you’d like to get out into the wider waters.

If you can’t get an invite from a friend who owns one of those 57,000 pleasure boats, rent a boat and sail into the Øresund. It’s a lovely day trip, heading up towards Helsingor with the coast of Denmark on one side and the coast of Sweden on the other.

For a social occasion, you can invite some friends to join you for a long picnic out on the water. Just don’t take argumentative types along, because once you’re out there on the waves, it’s hard for anyone to stomp off because they don’t agree on politics, religion, or FCK vs Brondby.

Another option is the popular overnight cruise to Oslo, where the tickets are cheap but the food is expensive.

Wherever you go, there’s a wonderful freedom to being out on the water, away from it all. Wind in your hair, sunshine (sometimes) on your face – it’s one of the best places to enjoy the Danish summer.

Hear all our How to Live in Denmark podcasts on Spotify and on Apple Podcasts (iTunes).

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[denmark101]

Denmark and World War II: Thoughts on an anniversary

Anyone who takes a walk around Copenhagen is bound to run across one of the hundreds of concrete bunkers that were built to defend Danes from the Nazis.

There are a couple in the park near my house, huge slabs of grey concrete now partially covered by greenery. Many of the interiors have been renovated, and the bunkers are very popular with up-and-coming rock bands, who use them as soundproof rehearsal halls.

The bunkers, built in anticipation of an air attack like those on Britain, were never used for their intended purpose.

Danes did not hide in the bunkers from a Nazi attack, which came by land, and Denmark surrendered almost immediately – the flat Danish landscape would have been no match for the powerful Nazi tank divisions of 1940. Denmark was occupied for more than 5 years.

Tomorrow evening – Monday, May 4, 2020 – many Danes will put a candle in the window to mark the 75th anniversary of the end of that occupation.

Here come the trolls

Even before the anniversary, I’d been thinking a bit about Denmark’s history during World War II.

One reason is that a group of Chinese Communist Party trolls has been on social media mocking Denmark’s “lack of honor” after the Nazi invasion.

Their messages, on networks blocked for the average Chinese citizen, seem to have been centrally coordinated and are almost certainly fruits of the CCP propaganda machine, no doubt in response to a Danish newspaper’s cartoon satirizing the Chinese origins of the coronavirus.

“The country that surrendered to the Nazis in a few hours has now surrendered to the virus!” wrote one lovely fellow after Denmark reported its first coronavirus casualties. “The spineless Danes surrendered to Nazi Germany in just four hours!” wrote another.

Why anyone in the Chinese government thought this would help achieve their diplomatic goals is a mystery.

“Thanks for the time you spent with us”

The second reason is that during the coronavirus lockdown, I’ve been exploring local parks.

One in Northern Copenhagen is called Mindelunden – in English, Ryvangen Memorial Park – and it’s the final resting place of the members of the Danish resistance who were executed nearby.

Many Danish cemeteries, such as Nørrebro’s famous Assistens Kirkegaard, are casual places that welcome picnics, lunches, and sunbathers, but not this one.

Mindelunden is quiet and carefully fenced-in with watchful caretakers (I accidentally rode a bike in the first time I visited, and let’s just say they were not pleased) and it is full of memorial bouquets, even apart from official holidays.

A female resistance fighter’s grave, with the legend “You died for what you thought was right.”

It’s moving to see the graves of the resistance fighters, many of whom were very young when they were executed – there are several 17 and 18-year-olds.

(“Thanks for the time you spent with us,” reads the gravestone provided by the family of one teenager.)

Older resistance fighters have gravestones that list their occupation – merchant, editor, engineer. There are a few women, but not many.

It’s upsetting to see how many of the executions took place in the very last days of the war, during March and April 1945.

Even the German soldiers carrying out their orders must have known that theirs was a lost cause by that point.

.

Friendly with Germany

Interestingly, I don’t see much tension between Denmark and Germany these days. Problems in Germany produce none of the barely-disguised glee apparent in the Danish media whenever anything goes wrong in Sweden.

Many Danish children still learn German in school – in some places, it’s required – and the west coast of Denmark is deeply dependent on tourism from Germany.

The Germans rent summerhouses on the west coast, shop and eat in restaurants there (you can count on every menu being available in German) and enjoy the windy, chilly beaches.

Along those beaches are another set of bunkers, increasingly laid bare as the white sand shifts. There are dozens if not hundreds of them, many open for visits and popular with tourists. These are the bunkers constructed by the Germans during their occupation, defenses against an Allied naval attack that never came.

Seventy-five years later, what happened in 1940-1945 has been neither forgiven nor forgotten, but it has been set aside in the postwar spirit of inter-European co-operation.

It seems likely that when the Danish borders open again after their coronavirus closure, the first foreign tourists admitted will be German.

Hear all our How to Live in Denmark podcasts on Spotify and on Apple Podcasts (iTunes).

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[denmark101]

Animals and Denmark

Among the many cultural questions I ask audiences during my How to Live in Denmark Game Show is “Which animal represents Denmark best?”?

There never seems to be an obvious or generally agreed-upon answer. Sure, the bear represents Russia, the elephant Thailand, and the bald eagle the United States. But what about Denmark?

Denmark does have a national animal – the mute swan (Cygnus olor) – but an image of a swan doesn’t provoke the kind of immediate association with Denmark that, say, a koala bear does with Australia.

That said, mute swans are easy to find in Denmark. You can see them sailing down the quiet streams of the country’s historical parks, such as the vold in Fredericia or Utterslev Mose in suburban Copenhagen.

But these strong, individualist, and often angry animals are a strange fit for a country that prides itself on co-operation and peacefulness. They’re also not really mute – in fact, they have a noisy hiss that can signal an attack if they feel their nest is threatened.

Given that these muscular birds are about a meter tall and their wingspan can be twice that, you may feel threatened too.

The most common answer

Anyway, the answer I get most when I ask Which animal best represents Denmark? is not the swan, but the pig.

There are, notoriously, twice as many pigs in Denmark as people, and Danish bacon is prized all over the world. Pig insulin also helped create Denmark’s thriving pharmaceutical industry, although it has long since been replaced by artificially-created insulin.

And pigs are reportedly highly intelligent and even have a sense of humor, which many Danes would feel is a good match for Danish humans.

In addition to pigs, my audiences also often say that the dog is an animal that could represent Denmark – reliable, faithful, and not too flashy.

But neither dogs nor pigs would be an acceptable symbol to Denmark’s Muslim population – now about 5.3% of Danish residents – so it’s back to the drawing board.

Personally, I think a good approach might be to look at the characters in popular Danish children’s comic Rasmus Klump. They include a bear cub – that’s Rasmus – and his friend Pingo, who is a penguin, and Pelle, a pelican. Any one of those would be a nice national animal that everyone could agree on.

Animal welfare

Most Danes would consider themselves animal lovers – despite a controversial 2014 incident with a zoo giraffe which resulted in many, many crazy people sending me emails – and most care about the way animals are treated.

Animal welfare is a pretty safe political position in Denmark, even if the animals are being raised for food.

My chicken teriyaki readymade meal, purchased for last night’s dinner, has a printed seal of approval from “Animal Protection Denmark”, and if you go to a Danish supermarket, eggs and meat are all very clearly marked to tell you what kind of life the animal had.

I even remember reading a dating profile from a fellow who said he would not consider ladies who bought eggs from caged hens.

And, as with many places in the world, vegetarianism and veganism is becoming more popular in Denmark. The meatless selection in grocery stores is growing, in part to meet demand from the many IT specialists who have recently arrived in Denmark from India.

Pets in Denmark

Danes love their pets. About 27% of Danes own a cat, and 24% own a dog – even though many urban apartment buildings don’t officially permit them.

That said, Danish pets are not pampered in the way that Chinese or French pets might be, with tiny clothing, fancy food, or dog spas.

A Dane has no intention of putting her dog in a miniature puffa jacket for a walk, even in the depths of winter. (Safety equipment, like a little lighted collar, is more popular.)

And nobody calls their dog their “best friend” or “fur baby.”

Furthermore, when a pet’s time on Earth comes to an end, they are not kept alive with extraordinary measures. (An acquaintance came to Denmark with the goal of making artificial legs for aging and crippled pets but found little demand.)

Letting go of pets when their time has come is very similar to the Danish attitude towards letting go of people when their time has come.

The third most popular pet

While dogs and cats are the two most popular pets in Denmark, there’s also an interest in the usual fish, hamsters and canaries. Bunnies are big among preteen girls.

It’s quite common for suburban families to raise chickens in their backyard. For several months they provide fresh eggs, and ultimately they provide a chicken dinner.

But the third most popular pet in Denmark is actually a horse. Many people who live in cities, or near them, own a horse or a share in a horse that lives in the nearby countryside.

You might have a 10am meeting with a business partner who will mention that she has already been out for a 7am ride.

Owning a horse is an expensive pleasure. Once stable fees, hay, vet bills, horseshoeing, and food are taken into account, maintenance of a horse can easily cost DK3000 a month, and that excludes the cost of the horse in the first place.

Looking at that price tag, you might be tempted to just buy birdseed and try to pet the swans.

Hear all our How to Live in Denmark podcasts on Spotify and on Apple Podcasts (iTunes).

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[denmark101]

Denmark’s Weapons Against COVID-19: Early Action, High Trust—and a No-Nonsense Queen

The worst-case coronavirus scenario is as terrifying in Denmark as it is everywhere else. There is no guarantee that the Danish health system will have the resources to help everyone who needs care. And the economy might be in tatters when the quarantine ends.

But for now, there is a certain pleasure in watching the gentle social machinery of the Danish state swing into action.

At the lakes in downtown Copenhagen—the city’s former moat—kindly city employees in safety vests make sure everyone runs or strolls in a clockwise direction, minimizing the chance of close face-to-face encounters.

The Danish police sent a friendly message to every mobile telephone in the country, reminding recipients to practice social distancing as you “enjoy your weekend.”

And Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen made an appearance on the Instagram account of Denmark’s top Gen-Z influencer, Anders Hemmingsen. She empathized with teens’ desire to go out and party, but encouraged them to stay home and tolerate their parents for a little longer.

I occasionally write for other media outlets and websites. The above is an excerpt for a piece about how Denmark handles coronavirus that I wrote for Quillette, an international magazine devoted to free thought.

Read the entire piece in Quillette here.

Hear all our How to Live in Denmark podcasts on Spotify and on Apple Podcasts (iTunes).

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[denmark101]

Coronavirus and Denmark: A few thoughts

The first Danish Coronavirus case was diagnosed on February 27, and so many things have changed in Denmark over the past four weeks.

Most noteable, of course, is the misery of the people infected with the virus, the pain of the families who have lost loved ones, and the Herculean efforts of the health care workers who care for them.

But daily life has changed for ordinary citizens as well, and not just because many of us aren’t quite sure what will be happening with our jobs and exactly how we will be paying the rent in the future, not to mention all that online shopping from home we’ve been doing during quarantine.

Schools are closed, with the kids (more or less) learning from home, and many of their parents are (more or less) working from home too. Cinemas, shops, gyms, and swimming halls have been shut down in an attempt to break the chain of infections. Concerts and sporting events are canceled. Confirmations scheduled for the spring have been put off – a crushing disappointment for the teenagers who have spent the past 6 months in Bible studies with hopes of a big spring party.

What is surprising, though, is how much is unchanged.

It’s spring, like always; there are lovely green buds on the trees, like always, and Denmark’s cherry blossom trees are blooming, although Copenhagen’s famous cherry tree corridor at Bispebjerg Cemetery has been closed to prevent dangerous crowds.

Just like always, Danish kids in their quilted “flying suits” are playing outside, drawing with colorful chalk on the sidewalk and scooting away on their pushbikes as their parents chase after them.

There’s nothing more timeless, and more comforting, than the sound of children’s laughter.

The fate of the handshake

One of the great questions in the aftermath of the Coronavirus outbreak in Denmark will be the fate of the handshake.

Only two months ago, a law debuted that required new Danish citizens to shake hands with the mayor of the local municipality. The law, which was promoted by nationalist parties and targeted at fundamentalist Muslims who refuse to shake hands with the opposite sex, was in my opinion stupid even before the Coronavirus crisis. (One Dutch-born mayor who was becoming a Danish citizen would have had to shake his own hand.)

What happens after the virus is vanquished? The Danes do love a handshake; when arriving at a party, they go around and shake the hand of everyone in the room. The same is true of a job interview; it’s considered appropriate to shake the hand of each of the managers staring at you from across the table.

Giving up the good strong handshake, long thought to be an indication of good strong character, would be a body blow to Danish manners.

The quiet times

Denmark has always been a quiet country. Three weeks into the Coronavirus shutdown, it’s even quieter now.

I bicycled through downtown Copenhagen last Sunday, and it was a lot like Sunday used to be when I first arrived in Denmark. Back then, shops closed at 1pm on Saturday and didn’t open again until Monday morning. It was always exasperating to realize at 1:15 on Saturday that you were missing an ingredient for your dinner recipe or one crucial piece of hardware for a renovation project, but it did force you to spend your Sunday with family or working on your hobbies instead of standing in line at Føtex.

In the virus times, of course, supermarkets are pretty much the only type of store open.

Going there can be one of the highlights of the day, since it is one of the only government-approved reasons to leave your home. It’s always nice to pick up some fresh fruit or salad – I think everyone already has enough toilet paper.

As you return home from the supermarket, come in and wash your hands for what must be the tenth time that day, not counting the times you have bathed them in foul-smelling hand sanitizer.

While you were out, you may have touched a surface with the virus, although you have certainly not shaken anyone’s hand.

Social distancing on bicycles and boats

The authorities advise suggest that everyone avoid infection by maintaining social distance, staying a good one to two meters away from other people.

Of course, that’s no problem for riders on Copenhagen’s S-trains, who always sit as far away from each other as possible. This form of social distancing has been going on for as long as I’ve lived here; Danes do enjoy a privacy bubble.

The much-loved bicycle is another excellent social distancing machine. It’s hard to come too close to anyone while riding one, and you really don’t touch anything but the handlebars.

If you’re rich, you can even do social distancing with your sailboat. Out in the middle of the Øresund or the Kattegat, no virus can reach you, provided you have chosen your sailing companions carefully.

Thoughts about masks

Medical masks have long been popular in Asia, which has learned through the bitter experience of SARS and MERS how to handle respiratory epidemics.

But they are rarely worn in Denmark. Even in these Coronavirus times, the only people I’ve seen wearing them have been of Asian descent, plus one group of trendy young men wearing what looked like military-grade gas masks for a trip to the supermarket.

In Denmark, wearing a mask to a political demonstration has long been illegal, and in 2018 the law was extended to include the everyday wear of burkhas, niqabs, fake beards and balaclava-style hats that cover your face.

There is an exception for “masks that serve a worthy purpose”, and one could argue that a medical mask is quite worthy, particularly if the wearer is ill or immune-compromised. The decision of whether or not the purpose of a mask is “worthy” is left up to the individual police officer.

Covering your face isn’t customary in Northern European culture; it is seen as a sign of dishonesty or aggression. Even my most left-wing friends quietly told me that they agreed with the burkha and niqab ban.

If Danes begin to wear masks in the street, that will be an indication that the Coronavirus times have resulted in very serious change.

Hear all our How to Live in Denmark podcasts on Spotify and on Apple Podcasts (iTunes).

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[denmark101]

Postcards from New Orleans

A couple of weeks ago, I was lucky enough to jet off for a week to my favorite city on the planet: New Orleans! I went there to attend a yoga teacher training with Yoga Medicine, spending four days nerding out about the anatomy of the spine, common injuries, and how to work with them... from The Copenhagen Tales https://ift.tt/32mpm0T

[denmark101]

Drinking in Denmark

Earlier this year, my daughter and I visited several Danish high schools to help her choose the location where she’ll continue her education. We looked at the classrooms, and the laboratories – my daughter likes science. We looked at the athletic faculties, and we looked at the bars.

Yes, most of the high schools visited had a bar, or at least a café where they serve the students beer on tap, or hard cider in cans, or alco-pops in bottles when they want to relax after class.

Now, the high school students are usually at least 15 years old, usually 16-19, and the legal purchase age for wine and beer in Denmark is 16, so it’s all totally legal.

It’s just a bit surprising when you come from anyplace where teenagers are encouraged not to drink alcohol to find a bar conveniently located next to the school gym.

The consequences of heavy drinking Drinking plays a big role in young people’s lives in Denmark; by age 14, my daughter’s class had begun to split into those who got drunk on the weekends and those who didn’t.

And their Danish parents don’t seem to mind. “It’s just part of having fun while they’re young,” one parent said to me. “I actually drank a lot more when I was younger,” said another.

That doesn’t mean that alcohol use has no consequences: a new report says 30,000 young people in Denmark have a drinking problem and only 2% of them are getting treatment for it.

(The Danish public health system is excellent for emergencies like broken bones and serious illnesses like cancer, but is less effective when it comes long-term psychological and addiction issues.)

And early in 2020, the EU Commission reported that Denmark placed an unhappy first in Europe in binge drinking and that it was one of the reasons Danes had the shortest expected lifespan in Western Europe.

According to the report, 37% of adult Danes said they had “regular major alcohol usage,” which was nearly double the EU average of 20%.

Ale, mead, fruit wine, and syra Alcohol has a long history in Denmark. The Vikings brewed four types of beverages: ale, mead, fruit wine, and syra, a fermented milk. – and for many centuries Danish babies have eaten øllebrød, which is a mix of old bread scraps and beer.

Fast forward a few centuries, and alcohol is still part of almost every Danish gathering, although in many circles beer is less popular than wine. “Two bottles of good red wine” is an informal currency in Denmark, what you give to the neighbor who checks in on your cat while you’re on vacation.

After the first bottle of so, nobody notices if the wine is any good or not. And there is usually more than one bottle.

Heavy, heavy drinking is deeply entrenched in Danish culture; even highly-educated adults often drink to get drunk, and simply set aside the next day for a planned hangover.

A Pepsi! A Pepsi! What the Danes drink, and how much, is their own business. It only affects internationals when people get offended when you don’t want to drink along with them.

I’ve done a lot of interviews in connection with my books and speeches, but the only time I’ve really had a journalist go after me was in a conversation about alcohol.

We were on a radio program discussing the traditional Danish Christmas lunch, and I suggested that to make the meal more hospitable to everyone (including Muslims, Jains, Mormons, pregnant women and designated drivers), the host should make available some non-alcoholic beverages, like a Pepsi.

A Pepsi! A Pepsi!

He couldn’t have been angrier if I had told him to feed his guests by throwing them fish from the back porch.

You could not have Pepsi at a Christmas dinner, he said. If you absolutely insisted on not drinking, a non-alcoholic beer might do. Or “Danskvand,” the local vernacular for plain sparkling water.

Sparkling water, how festive.

Lukewarm tap water It’s better, at least, than the lukewarm tap water that was served at recent business cocktail party I went to.

The host had invited a number of Danish Muslims – many of them leaders in their fields – and provided nothing to drink but glögg made of wine and brandy.

These sharply-dressed professionals had to walk around with sad little glasses of sparkle-free water. Good times!

I’ve seen many Danish people grimace when I tell this story. I’m not sure if they’re embarrassed at the host’s rudeness or annoyed that the guests wouldn’t just have some glögg to be part of the fælleskab.

Guilted into drinking more The truth is, I’m not a teetotaller myself. I like an occasional glass of red wine on a grey February evening, or a crisp gin tonic on a hot summer day. I even used to work for Carlsberg in their headquarters, where I helped them sell beer.

My feeling is just that drinking alcohol should be a choice and not a requirement, and that the choice of how much to consume should be up to the individual.

Some Danes – not all – seem to feel insulted when their guests don’t drink, or don’t drink as much as they do. Perhaps they see it as a comment on their own behavior, or an insult to Danish culture.

But curried herring and repeated screenings of Olsen Banden movies are also part of Danish culture, and my failure to enjoy either doesn’t seem to bother anyone.

Alcohol has a special, and not particularly flattering, place in the society of contemporary Denmark.

Hear all our How to Live in Denmark podcasts on Spotify and on Apple Podcasts (iTunes).

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[denmark101]

Debt in Denmark

January, February, and March are some of the dreariest months in Denmark – it’s dark, with no Christmas lights to pep it up – and many people are dealing with a heavy load of year-end debt from travelling, parties, dining out, and gifts.

Along with religion, personal finances (privatøkonomi, which many Danes insist on directly translating to “my private economy”) is a topic that is rarely discussed in Denmark. But the country has one of the highest rates of household debt in the world.

And once you get into debt in Denmark, it can be very difficult to get out.

Mortgages, credit cards, text-message loans Much of the debt in Denmark is mortgage debt, since buying a home has tax advantages and prices in the big cities are six times what they were 20 years ago.

But there is also credit card debt and bank overdrafts, plus the no-money-down quick loans advertised on public transport. They seem to be directed at young men with low impulse control. Just send us a text and get that electric guitar and new gaming system right away! Don’t wait!

And the very worst debt, in my opinion, which is tax debt.

Owing the Danish government Tax debt is what you get if you get a raise during the year and forget to tell the tax department to start deducting more. If you don’t, you’ll get a big bill in March of the following year, as I found out in a panic one year when I had to empty my savings to pay it.

Tax debt is part of the bigger category of “debt to the state”, which also includes student loan debt, outstanding day care bills, or unpaid fines for not having the right ticket on the train. Danes owe more than DK123 billion kroner, to the state, a number that’s doubled since 2005.

What all these debts have in common is that you will have to pay with after-tax kroner. That means if you put your nose to the grindstone and dedicate yourself to earning more money to pay off the debt, you will also accumulate more taxes owed. It’s a hamster wheel of misery.

National database of debtors As an international, you may have a different approach to paying bills than is common in Denmark.

In many cultures, the first bill is just a suggestion, and the second 30 days later is a reminder, and you don’t really have to pay until you get that one with the big pink line across the top saying final notification.

Not in Denmark. If you don’t pay a bill the first time you receive it, it will be back within 10 days with a hefty “late fee” on top. After another couple of weeks, there will be another demand and another late fee, and then finally “indkasso”, a debt-collection service that is supposedly not run by Danish gangsters, but might be, depending on whom you owe your debt to.

You might also be listed in RKI, the national database of people who owe money. Every big company in Denmark subscribes to RKI, which means that if you’re listed in the database you’ll have trouble getting an apartment, job, gasoline card, or mobile-phone contract.

That’s a lot of headaches for an unpaid electricity bill.

Denmark is an expensive place to live Running into debt in Denmark is understandable; it’s an expensive place to live. I frequently get mails from internationals who have been offered jobs in Denmark and want to know – on this salary, how much will I be able to save?

To start with, I tell them to contact the tax department to find out how much take-home pay they’ll have once their Danish taxes kick in.

Then it’s a matter of lifestyle. Do you need to drive a car, or will you be able to survive with just a bicycle? How big a home do you need? How new a phone do you need? Are cigarettes, pharmaceuticals, alcohol, or take-out meals among your expenses? Do you like to travel or dine in restaurants?

Even if you live like a monk or nun, there are some levels that are difficult to go below.

One fellow wanted to know if he’d be able to support his spouse and three kids on Dk2500 a month after rent.

He was, unsurprisingly, from a country that did not experience Northern European winters. Five all-year wardrobes including five winter coats, gloves, and hats, plus five pairs of winter boots, three of which will have to be constantly replaced as the children grow? Five bicycles with tires that puncture at precisely the wrong moment? At least two phone contracts, at least three birthday parties, plus gifts for all their fellow students’ birthday parties?

Good luck, sir. Welcome to debt.

Hear all our How to Live in Denmark podcasts on Spotify and on Apple Podcasts (iTunes).

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[denmark101]

Secrets of a non-Danish mom

As this new year and decade begins, let’s take a moment to think about all the people for whom this will be their very first year, all the Emmas and Emils and Aasmas and Szymons whose birthdate will be 2020.

If trends continue, there will be more than 61,000 newborn Danes joining us this year. And according to Denmark’s Statistik, 22% of children born here will have a mother who is not ethnic Danish.

That’s something I know a little about, being a non-Danish mother myself. Free play and bonfires It’s an interesting position, being a parent in a culture where people are very confident about their approach to parenting. The free play! The bonfires! The outdoor excursions even if it’s raining! The creativity! The collaboration!

Parenting is one of the many ways in which Denmark confidently feels it leads the world. Non-Danes who live here, the suggestion goes, should simply watch and learn from the masters.

But us 22% of mothers are secretly parenting our kids a little bit differently.

What the Danes do – and a bit more Many of our kids are half-Danish, and we do all the things the Danes do. We encourage our kids to join football clubs, we put together costumes for Festelavn, we show up to take photos on the first day of school. (Although I missed this because I didn’t realize it was a thing, and ten years later my daughter is still angry about it.)

But we do more. Behind the quiet doors of Danish neighborhoods live Chinese parents who send their kids to Chinese-language classes on the weekends and Indian parents who enroll their kids in cricket.

There are African parents who make their kids dress up in suits and dresses to attend the local African church, and American parents who make them follow all the US political developments so they can be ready to vote at age 18.

And when it comes to school, we non-Danish parents tend to be a little pushy. Yes, pushy.

Preparation for life in a social welfare state When Danish parents are asked what’s most important when it comes to their child’s school experience, and they will generally say, “That they have friends”.

That’s because social fit, being able to fit in well with the group, is important in Danish life and in Danish business. “Pear Danish” kids are being prepared to spend their lives in a social welfare state, where competition is discouraged and where there will always be enough to go around if we only share.

Having come from the rest of the world, we non-Danish moms know that life isn’t always like that.

More emphasis on competitiveness There is not always enough to go around, and some people will have more than others, and those will usually be the people who have the best educations plus the drive and discipline to put those educations to use.

Unhampered by Janteloven, we want our kids to be the best, and we put much more emphasis on academics, grades, and competitiveness than many Danish parents do.

Ask a Danish parent what they want for their children, and they’ll say, “We only want them to be happy.” Ask a foreign parent, and they’ll say, “We only want them to be happy, and to have an advanced degree in law, medicine, engineering, or business.”

Scare stories about China This is why so many of the kids profiled in the media with the “top karaktergennemsnit” of the season are not ethnic Danish, and nydansker girls, despite the occasional differences in language, culture and fashion choices, are collecting almost as many higher education certificates as their Danish counterparts.

No one can argue that there aren’t many positives to the Danish way of parenting. After all, Denmark is a prosperous country with a knowledge culture that rewards cooperation and innovation, plus the whole happiest-nation thing.

That said, scare stories about how China, Singapore and other countries are outpacing Denmark in the PISA educational rankings have become a standard in Danish media, along with worries about Danish students’ competitiveness.

Maybe those worries are misdirected. The real competition is probably sitting at the next desk, with a pushy foreign parent at home.

This column originally ran in the Danish tabloid BT on January 1, 2020.

Hear all our How to Live in Denmark podcasts on Spotify and on Apple Podcasts (iTunes).

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[denmark101]

Christmas Eve: The Danish Church’s Big Moment

As Christmas Eve approaches, we’re nearing those few magical hours that happen only once a year. Not just when the 24/7 Netto briefly closes…not just when the buses stop running, and the electrical grid hops because everyone turns on their ovens at once….but those precious moments when Danish churches are actually full.

Really full. Needing crowd-control full. Pushing each other out of the way full. Very Christian, loving, I-have-saved-these-seats-for-my-extended-family-and-you-will-just-have-to-sit-somewhere-else full.

A couple of weeks before, there was plenty of room at the inn.

Elderly, teenagers, chamber music lovers In fact, most of the off-season Danish church services I have attended are a thin mix of the very old, a few sullen teenagers required to attend in order to qualify for confirmation (and a confirmation party), plus five or six chamber music enthusiasts from a local conservatory making up the choir.

Sometimes there are a few tourists, if the church is downtown or designed by Jorn Utzon. In the case of a children’s service, there may be a dozen restless children and their parents listening to Bible stories and marvelling at how the priest’s kæreste has been persuaded to wear a robe and fake beard to portray Jesus.

Very rarely, the young hipster crowd will turn up for a jazz service that has a stand-up bass and hand-torn organic spelt bread for the Eucharist.

For most of the year Danish churches are less than a quarter full.

The center of Danish culture But not on Christmas Eve. For the afternoon and midnight service, it’s pine boughs, candles, hymnals, and standing room only. This is the Danish church’s Superbowl, its World Cup. For a few moments – usually the afternoon and midnight service – Christianity is again at the center of Danish culture.

The Danish church confuses internationals. I met an Egyptian Christian once who had been looking forward to moving here, having grown up a minority in a mostly-Muslim country, only to be disappointed to get here and find out nobody was religious at all.

There is a giant Christian cross on the Danish flag, but nobody ever talks about faith, or cites the Bible to explain why they are doing something. If Danes choose to pay church tax, they often say it’s just to preserve the pretty church buildings, or some vague kind of comment about cultural heritage.

Danes love Gospel music But at the same time, they love American Gospel music. There seem to be at least a dozen amateur Gospel choirs in Denmark, and a few semi-professional ones: Danes seem to like getting carried away by the passion and joy of Gospel, along with the fellowship of singing together. I frequently recommend Gospel choirs to internationals as a place to meet Danes and find friends.

Outside of Gospel music, Danes often laugh at the American approach to religion. Sometimes it is indeed laughable: I roll my eyes myself when an American football running back points up at the sky after scoring a goal – God assisted him!

And I’m guessing that God himself rolls his eyes when a country-western or R&B star accepting a music award thanks Him for her long and successful career singing pop songs in sparkly clothing.

Europeans are the strange ones But what was once called the “Bible Belt” is much more diverse than it once was, with a steady stream of immigrants bringing in their own approaches to Christianity, as well as Islam, Hinduism and Sikhism. There are also churches that specifically appeal to the LGBTQ community, plus megachurches that can bring ten thousand worshippers to an arena with rock music and a laser light show – fun stuff. Religion is still big in America.

As a matter of fact, religion is pretty big all over the world, in Africa, the Indian subcontinent, and Latin America; it’s actually the nonreligious Europeans who are the strange ones. And the Danes, like the Swedes and Norwegians, regularly make the list of the world’s least religious countries.

But the Danes do love tradition and they love family events, and that’s what the Christmas Eve service is really about. Merry Christmas.

This article originally appeared in Danish in the newspaper BT on December 16, 2019.

Hear all our How to Live in Denmark podcasts on Spotify and on Apple Podcasts (iTunes).

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[denmark101]

What hygge is and isn’t: Thoughts on a misused word

It’s unusual for us Americans to miss a business opportunity – it feels a little unnatural, to be honest – but for some reason, I have never before written about hygge.

Hygge is big business. Hygge housewares catalogues offer candles, soft blankets, earthenware coffee mugs, and warm socks that will help you, too, experience hygge. Hygge tours are offered in major Danish cities.

And authors who do write about hygge are richly rewarded. They’re interviewed by glossy magazines, their books are arranged in elaborate piles in the shops at Copenhagen airport, and they speak to adoring audiences in London, Paris, and Rome. Meanwhile, my next exciting engagement is at Holsterbro Gymnasium. (I really am excited, kids – see you there!)

Selling hygge has become an industry. But hygge, like love, is not really something you can buy.

You can’t show it off It’s also not something you can show off, which doesn’t mean that people don’t try.

At last check there were 5.4 million images hashtagged #hygge on Instagram, featuring mostly the winter version of hygge, experienced indoors near a cozy fire with tea in an expensive mug and carefully arranged decorative items. (Women’s magazines also sometimes run the summer version, featuring models in light makeup setting their picnic tables with wildflowers and flawless red strawberries).

This type of hygge seems exhausting to me.

Real hygge is enjoyment without ambition, a contented celebration of what you already have. Hygge means you’re together with people you already know and like, so there is no one you need to impress. If you’re trying to show off how well you hygge, you’re doing it wrong.

Time is precious Drill a little deeper and hygge is really about time. After centuries of preparing to survive long, dark winters, Danes are productive and practical people who like to get stuff done.

That means time is sacred in Denmark, more valuable than money or prestige. (It also, conveniently, cannot be taxed.) The best way you can show you care about somebody is to spend your free time with them. And you don’t have to buy anything to do that.

My favorite example of hygge is the nature walk many Danish families take on the day after Christmas. Off they go through the wintery forest, or wintery parks in the big cities, kids and parents and grandparents and sometimes great-grandparents, looking for birds and picking up pinecones.

Granny is a shark Also hyggelig are the hours families spent inside on chilly afternoons playing board games. The game itself isn’t that important: nobody ever seems to remember who won Ludo or Scrabble or Monopoly last month or last Christmas. It’s just an excuse to spend time together, and perhaps discover hidden aspects of each other’s personalities. Who knew granny was such a shark?

Time with friends can be hyggeligt too. You can go out in town and have a gløgg or some beers, or go to a movie or a museum. You can also play on a “hyggehold” for football, volleyball, or handball, in which winning or losing the game is less important than the friendship between the team members and the beers they share afterwards.

A hobby business Or you can run a “hygge business”, in which you will never get rich selling handmade jewelry or raising chickens, but just cover your costs (if you’re lucky) while you indulge your creative side and enjoy yourself. This is so common that SKAT even has a classification for it, although they call it a “hobbyvirksomhed.”

The common denominator is fun and enjoyment and a total lack of agenda.

My own favorite form of hygge is trying out various recipes in the kitchen, either on my own or with my daughter, perhaps with my favorite podcast in the background.

Unlike the ladies in the magazines, I do this without makeup, without Instagram, and without a pair of expensive socks.

This article originally appeared in Danish in the newspaper BT on December 3, 2019.

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