dennise-b - Tumblr blog

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“3.5 servings per can” me, eating the whole can: interesting

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i would get married solely for the dress and the attention 

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when u make a mistake

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Marvel Exec #1: Quick, we need a new villain for Captain America 3

Marvel Exec #2: Maybe the real villain was the friends we made along the way

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“can i ask you something?” my immediate reply says “go for it" but my mind has already gone through the seven stages of grief

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a millennial: i work three jobs and still don't make enough to live comfortably or save for my future

a baby boomer: well then why don't you have four jobs?

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in cutthroat kitchen the challenge in spaghetti and meatballs and this guy buys a sabotage to take away all of 1 ingredient from any chef. so he takes away this lady’s garlic. and everyone’s like “why the fuck did you not take her pasta” and he’s like “i know what i’m doing”. when the judge gets to that lady’s dish (and this was her only sabotage) he’s like “this is really underseasoned i’m not tasting any garlic or seasonings you’d expect from spaghetti and meatballs” and the camera just zooms in on the guy grinning. goddamn

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*seductively takes DS stylus out of mouth like a cigarette* So… i heard you like Pokemon…..

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brain: hey u should act on this impulse that might have bad consequences

me: why

brain: You Gotta

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If you ever wonder what goes on at Nike once the store closes…

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“be careful with my emotional baggage,” i say. “it’s designer.”

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when someone you barely know jokes on you

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What diversity actually is:

How Hollywood sees diversity: