depraved-lunatic

[depraved-lunatic]

[depraved-lunatic]

If a tall woman and an older man had a duel to win your heart, who would you cry out in Anguish to help in their time of greatest need?

WOMAN

[depraved-lunatic]

tight white t shirt and no bra... my final message. goodbye

[depraved-lunatic]

I <3 objectifying men

[depraved-lunatic]

What's the most unsexy name you've ever heard for boobs?

Mosquito bites. It evokes the image of a very large and very scary mosquito.

[depraved-lunatic]

Whenever I get horny nowadays I just start hitting my head with my fist over and over

[depraved-lunatic]

my breasts look sublime! #beyourownpervyoldman

[depraved-lunatic]

He put his shirt back on 😔

Me 6 months ago: What the fuck do you mean "can I smell your pits"? Where's the sex appeal in armpits?

Me now: (trying not to stare) I still do not like the smell of sweat, I would not put my face there, BUT. Aesthetically speaking. In a sheerly hypothetical sense. Perhaps you could remove your shirt again some time. I prefer chest hair to pit hair but you've got both so uh. Haha.

[depraved-lunatic]

everyone start having unethical fantasies about me NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[depraved-lunatic]

On one hand, damn, sorry you spilled eggs all over your shirt. On the other hand, holy fucking shit. Holyyyyy shit. I think I hauve covid. I need to take a moment to recuperate. I'm going to the bathroom, sorry, yeah, hold down the line for a second, yeah I have to pee not go blog about your chest hair.

Me 6 months ago: What the fuck do you mean "can I smell your pits"? Where's the sex appeal in armpits?

Me now: (trying not to stare) I still do not like the smell of sweat, I would not put my face there, BUT. Aesthetically speaking. In a sheerly hypothetical sense. Perhaps you could remove your shirt again some time. I prefer chest hair to pit hair but you've got both so uh. Haha.

[depraved-lunatic]

Me 6 months ago: What the fuck do you mean "can I smell your pits"? Where's the sex appeal in armpits?

Me now: (trying not to stare) I still do not like the smell of sweat, I would not put my face there, BUT. Aesthetically speaking. In a sheerly hypothetical sense. Perhaps you could remove your shirt again some time. I prefer chest hair to pit hair but you've got both so uh. Haha.

[depraved-lunatic]

[depraved-lunatic]

i was going through boxes in the storage unit, yknow, pushing things around, lifting things, and i was awfully fucking tired after working. but i had to grab some stuff, so i did. i opened a bunch of boxes, looking for the stuff i needed, and found a box of towels. little hand towels. they seemed to be packed around things. probably glass, or pvc figures with delicate parts. i wasnt sure which it was, and i decided to check. i unwrapped the first towel and found a mug, just what i was looking for, so i put that in the box i was taking back home. i unwrapped the next towel. a glass jar. didnt need that. the third had a trinket cup of some kind, painted with movie posters. a nice reminder of high school and my time playing cinephile. the next few, i dont recall. none of them were very interesting. the final towel i unwrapped, though, was chosen for its unique shape. this one was oblong, rectangular, thin. it revealed a small porcelain tray with dental tools that i very nervously purchased at a thrift shop in college. the clerk had asked me if i was interested in dentistry. i lied and said thats what i was studying, see, im wearing a shirt bearing my school's logo. he told me how he had gotten them, i didnt really care, i just thought they were... interesting. when i brought them home, they found a place in my nightstand. i peeled back the rest of the towel to reveal an autoclave bag. four molars, wisdom teeth, gently packed away alongside the tools. i had just spoken, at great length, to a friend about the wonderful experience i had with my dentist, the way he pulled out my sutures and spoke with a honey smooth voice and told me what an amazing job i was doing keeping my wounds clean. coincidences happen. i wrapped the tray again, slid it back into the box, snapped the lid back on, and finished my business. sitting in my car, i thought about the teeth. about straizo. about the doctor. threes come up often. three is a very nice number. three is my favorite number, in fact. not for any sexual reasons, quite the opposite, actually- for the Holy Trinity. but now, standing in my bedroom, things are starting to line up again. i was raised believing that everything happens for a reason. peeling away my sweaty work uniform, grabbing a towel, and stepping into the shower, im having thoughts i havent had in three years.

[depraved-lunatic]

i was going through boxes in the storage unit, yknow, pushing things around, lifting things, and i was awfully fucking tired after working. but i had to grab some stuff, so i did. i opened a bunch of boxes, looking for the stuff i needed, and found a box of towels. little hand towels. they seemed to be packed around things. probably glass, or pvc figures with delicate parts. i wasnt sure which it was, and i decided to check. i unwrapped the first towel and found a mug, just what i was looking for, so i put that in the box i was taking back home. i unwrapped the next towel. a glass jar. didnt need that. the third had a trinket cup of some kind, painted with movie posters. a nice reminder of high school and my time playing cinephile. the next few, i dont recall. none of them were very interesting. the final towel i unwrapped, though, was chosen for its unique shape. this one was oblong, rectangular, thin. it revealed a small porcelain tray with dental tools that i very nervously purchased at a thrift shop in college. the clerk had asked me if i was interested in dentistry. i lied and said thats what i was studying, see, im wearing a shirt bearing my school's logo. he told me how he had gotten them, i didnt really care, i just thought they were... interesting. when i brought them home, they found a place in my nightstand. i peeled back the rest of the towel to reveal an autoclave bag. four molars, wisdom teeth, gently packed away alongside the tools. i had just spoken, at great length, to a friend about the wonderful experience i had with my dentist, the way he pulled out my sutures and spoke with a honey smooth voice and told me what an amazing job i was doing keeping my wounds clean. coincidences happen. i wrapped the tray again, slid it back into the box, snapped the lid back on, and finished my business. sitting in my car, i thought about the teeth. about straizo. about the doctor. threes come up often. three is a very nice number. three is my favorite number, in fact. not for any sexual reasons, quite the opposite, actually- for the Holy Trinity. but now, standing in my bedroom, things are starting to line up again. i was raised believing that everything happens for a reason. peeling away my sweaty work uniform, grabbing a towel, and stepping into the shower, im having thoughts i havent had in three years.

[depraved-lunatic]

happy fangs in your pussy friday or whatever

[depraved-lunatic]

no comment

[depraved-lunatic]

(loud sigh) another day in a world where horny tboys have to be line cooks instead of someone's pet. When is it my turn