depressed-sara

[depressed-sara]

It’s useless to wait- for a breakthrough, for the revolution, the nuclear apocalypse or a social movement. To go on waiting is madness. The catastrophe is not coming, it is here. We are already situated within the collapse of a civilization. It is within this reality that we must choose sides.

The Invisible Committee, The Coming Insurrection (via tomboy-transsexualism)

[depressed-sara]

*through gritted teeth* it doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be done. it doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be done. it doesn’t have to be-

[depressed-sara]

To myself, raised in an environment that glorified and romanticized restriction and suffering:

There is no victory in skipping dinner, or lunch, or breakfast, or morning coffee, or dessert.

There is no victory in refusing heaters and air conditioners and fans and heated blankets.

There is no victory in denying yourself sleep, or showers, or movement, or water, or a comfortable bed, or taking the elevator vs. the stairs.

There is no victory in refusing pain meds and heating pads and ice packs and medical help.

There is no victory in punishing yourself needlessly, in telling yourself that this pain you feel is because you are bad to the core and deserve it.

There is no victory in choking back your laughter and your tears, to keep an imagined equilibrium of safety that is really just a dry, cracked, empty, endless emotional desert.

You are here. You are in this body, and this body is yours. You deserve good things. You are alive, and that is messy and loud, and messy and loud are okay.

It’s okay to live abundantly. It’s okay to make mistakes, it’s okay to indulge. This paralysis of self-punishment, self-restriction, self-loathing is not healthy or good for you.

[depressed-sara]

Hi this will probably be the last post I make like this bc I’m tired of asking for help.

If u have seen me before I was pregnant and homeless, I found housing, then my bf cheated on me and now he’s physically abused me. like actually beat me and was kicking and punching me. I can’t go into detail but because of him I’m losing hair and can’t use my right hand. I have a 4m old infant which me and her had to leave immediately. I threw all that I could fit into the car and left. I now have no clothes, underwear, etc. No hair brush, no kitchen utensils, no blankets. I have nothing. I have my child’s things and that’s it.

I just want to fundraise so I can get clothes from the thrift store, a mattress, sheets/blankets, some bowls/plates/forks/knifes, and toiletries (toothbrush, soap, etc.) I have housing but nothing for me only for my baby.

cashapp: $bugabooluv

venmo: @bugabooluv

PayPal

I have done my end of things, I am just tired and exhausted. My body can’t take the pain I’m still in right now. If u boost thanks, if u don’t idc. I’m not going to argue or prove anything to anyone at this point this will be my last post on social media for awhile because I’m beyond traumatized and tired of this.

Thank you for your help.

[depressed-sara]

I talked to my mum the other day, and she told me that when you’re in your 20’s, you feel everyone is better than you. You feel that everyone is smarter, they are better, they are doing more, they got it all handled. And then she told me, that as you get older, you learn that it was not true, it was never true. Everyone is not better than you. Everyone isn’t doing more than you, everyone isn’t smarter and everyone do not have it all handled. Now, I hope I get that into my head some day soon. And until then, I’m gonna work on that and talk about it, cause I’m not alone in feeling this. I hope we all learn this, no matter if you are in your 20’s, or younger or older. Don’t sell yourself short.

[depressed-sara]

I always am told or recommended that I need to learn to sit with difficult emotions or feelings. What on earth does that mean and how does one go about doing that?

Good question!

Our culture has a habit of trying to push away or smooth over all negative emotions as quickly as possible. We’re uncomfortable with being uncomfortable. When we’re in emotional pain - or when someone we love is in pain - our instinct is usually to just bombard that pain with positivity and distractions so we can stop dealing with it. Most of us aren’t really raised to be comfortable witnessing or experiencing emotional pain, and as soon as we encounter it, we either want to bury it or run away. 

There are two big problems with this. 

The first is that constantly trying to escape from difficult emotions can lead people down some dangerous paths. If I don’t know how to face my difficult emotions and I just want to run away from them, there are a lot of destructive things I can turn to - things like drinking, spending money I don’t have, using drugs, binge-eating or getting into destructive short-term relationships. Even less extreme options can have a huge negative toll on my life; if I try to avoid thinking about painful emotions by blasting the TV or sleeping all day, that’s eventually going to start to really impact my quality of life. 

Secondly, when we never really get comfortable sitting with negative emotions, we never actually learn how to deal with those negative emotions. If I get dumped by someone I really loved, for instance, and spend a full year avoiding that pain by seeking out every distraction I can find, there’s a good chance that at the end of that year, I still won’t really have come to terms with the breakup - it might still be a really painful subject for me, and I might find myself struggling to cope if I don’t have any distractions available when I’m reminded of it. This can be especially damaging for relationships - if I don’t know how to sit with a friend’s pain, then I’m likely to simply drift away from them when they’re going through a hard time to escape from the discomfort of their negative emotions. 

“Sitting with difficult emotions” can look different for different people, but simply put, it means you allow yourself to experience pain without trying to distract from it, minimize it, deny it, or run away from it. You don’t disguise it or downplay it for someone else’s sake. You let yourself say “This is what I’m feeling right now, and it hurts. I am struggling right now, and that’s alright. I don’t need to pretend to be okay.”

Some ways to sit with negative emotions include:

Label the emotion. What is it that you’re feeling? It can be a complicated mix of things, and that’s okay. What do those emotions feel like for you? Can you feel them in your body? 

Allow yourself some quiet reflection time. Think about what you’re going through. When did it start? What circumstances led up to this? Have you felt this way before? 

Express your emotions. Document what you’re feeling and experiencing through art or journaling. Draw, paint, write a poem. Express your emotions in a way that works for you. 

Remember that emotions are temporary. Remind yourself that emotions - even very overwhelming and powerful emotions - don’t last forever. The things you’re experiencing right now might last for a little while, but they will eventually fade and you will experience other emotions again. 

Accept your emotions. This is what you’re experiencing right now, and that’s okay. You are allowed to make space for this emotion. Don’t pressure yourself to control this emotion or diminish it, and don’t put pressure on yourself to “be okay” for the sake of other people. Accept that this is what you’re feeling right now, and try to be okay with that. 

Sitting with negative emotions without trying to banish them can feel very unnatural or counter-intuitive for a lot of people. It’s not what most of us were raised to do. When someone comes to you in pain and you don’t immediately start jumping through hoops to try to cheer them up, it can feel like you’re not trying hard enough and that you’re letting them down somehow. It’s not true. Sometimes the best thing you can do is just sit beside someone as they sit in their difficult emotions. 

Don’t get me wrong - distractions are not always a bad thing, and there are definitely times when you just need a break from what you’re experiencing. Likewise, it’s not good to spend too much time in negative emotions - if you’re struggling to experience anything but negative emotions regardless of what is happening in your life, you should definitely talk to a professional about that. But sometimes in life, bad things happen to us and it’s okay to just feel bad that about for a little bit. We need to let go of this expectation that people perform happiness, even when they’re going though something terrible. Sitting with negative emotions means accepting that negative emotions happen sometimes, and that that’s okay. 

Best of luck to you! MM

[depressed-sara]

that’s enough emotions for a whole year. ciao

[depressed-sara]

legit the best advice i can give you: feed your friends

any time someone is in any kind of crisis or upheaval, offer to feed them. tell them they don't have to choose what it is if they can't make decisions, just ask about allergies and preferences and tell them you're just gonna make food happen at their house.

friend having a baby? delivery gift certificate to order food to the hospital after the kid shows up.

someone's relative passes away? offer to make them dinner.

buddy gets laid off? ask if you can order them lunch.

pal stuck in a depressive episode? offer to drive them to fucking mcdonalds, if that's what they want.

people in crisis are tired and sad and angry and the last thing most of them are doing is thinking about feeding themselves. so if you have the ability or time or money, providing that is always, always a good move.

legit i do this all the time, and it is 100% always appreciated. i have taught all my friends that when something happens, we feed each other. it makes people feel extremely cared for, and I cannot recommend it enough.

[depressed-sara]

Things no one tells you about when you’ve been mentally ill for years and it won’t get better

— everyone will give up on you. Some will say it upfront, some will have indirect ways of showing it (you’re a lucky mf if you still have someone )

— your symptoms/ breakdowns/ panic attacks are cute for a few months. Everyone wants to help. Later on people find them annoying and inconvenient

— you will be blamed for not getting better. Doesn’t matter if you’re doing therapy, taking meds, exercising, eating well and sleeping. You can do all of it, some of it or none of it. They will find fault in your efforts.

— desensitization to your pain. This one isn’t their fault, it’s human nature. But it happens and yes it hurts cuz you would wish you were desensitized to your own pain but you have to feel it no matter what. Doesn’t matter if it’s the millionth time. It demands to be felt.

— people move on. But you can’t. You see people cope and get over things while you simply can’t. And it’s so much worse if you’ve been mentally ill for years. Even the smallest things break you and trigger you.

— you slowly realize this world isn’t made for mentally ill people in any way

— you’re tired / fatigued all the time. You have been for years now. You simply exist but you aren’t capable of living anymore. Your illnesses have taken everything that made you feel alive. You’re nothing but a shell. A body.

[depressed-sara]

Chrome extensions I actually use as a mentally ill university student

Making websites easier to digest:

Dark Reader - Changes any webpage to dark mode.

Mercury Reader - Simplifies the layout of any webpage to eliminate distractions and irritating formatting.

Podcastle AI - Turns any article into a podcast. This is a lifesaver for being able to process what I’m reading, to be honest.

Spelling/grammar:

LanguageTool - Spelling and grammar check for those of us who regularly type in more than one language.

Grammarly - Spelling and grammar check for those of us who only type in English. Can be used with LanguageTool installed, which is what I do.

Google Dictionary - Define any word on the webpage with a double-click.

Google Translate - Translate an entire webpage or even just a short segment.

Misc:

AdGuard Adblocker - After trying quite a few adblocker options, this is the one I find the best.

The Great Suspender - Automatically suspend inactive tabs to help with performance. <- as an edit, I don’t believe this is available anymore

Honey - Try coupon codes automatically to save money on online purchases.

Built-in Chrome tab grouping - Group your tabs to keep organized and minimize distracting clutter.

[depressed-sara]

we all need someone to tell us we‘re not as horrible as we think we are, right?

[depressed-sara]

December is a bad month and if I could sleep through it every single year, I would. Even if it means I lose a whole month of my life every single year. I would sleep through this whole month just do away with all of it every single second, every moment from December first onward is nothing but despair.

[depressed-sara]

also re: covid vaccines, people have said this but places like India, Korea, etc are very very very good at medical research and India is the biggest distributor of vaccines. it is not “the us needs to give/donate Poor Countries medicines because they are too stupid to figure it out themselves” it is “the us copyrighted the ingredients of the vaccine and so nobody can make them outside of the country”

which is vastly more insidious than simply not performing charity

[depressed-sara]

[depressed-sara]

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[depressed-sara]

i have a hill to die on real quick