depressed-vegetable

[depressed-vegetable]

what if i just romanticize the relationship. what if i just pretend i'm a character and this is fine

[depressed-vegetable]

imagine just forgetting to eat. imagine feeling nauseous enough to not eat for most of the day for a week. imagine having some form of self control.

naturally skinny people don't seem to exist. it's a passive lifestyle that i cannot achieve

[depressed-vegetable]

i know that eating less would help avoid this exact icky feeling that i get now. i would feel better it would be so much better SO WHY CAN'T I KEEP IT UP FOR MORE THAN A FEW DAYS

[depressed-vegetable]

i guess i'll just be fat

[depressed-vegetable]

i had an apple and some cinnamon sugar cracker things

[depressed-vegetable]

what is going on with me

[depressed-vegetable]

dude am i about to go all day without eating that's wild

[depressed-vegetable]

or MAYBE my period is just coming soon

starting to wonder if i might be depressed or something

[depressed-vegetable]

starting to wonder if i might be depressed or something

[depressed-vegetable]

seen some stuff that makes me want to start not eating again

[depressed-vegetable]

i just wish i could be consistent really. it would be much easier

like either i have some kind of ed or i don't, why does it go back and forth between "starve all week, feel so guilty about food" and then "idfk i want to eat" and then "i guess i'm eating normally now"

but i feel guilty the whole time, in all of them

i feel like i shouldn't be eating but what else is new

but nothing's really wrong

i'm not in danger

[depressed-vegetable]

i don't know if i even want to get worse atp i just wanted to feel like i'm worth something

i feel weird knowing now that my sister knew about my sh last year

and she told my dad and he didnt' do anything

HE KNEW.

i'm glad neither of them tlaked to me about it because. i hate talking about it but oh my god i'm gonna. i don't know. i feel so weirid about everything now

[depressed-vegetable]

i don't know. idon't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know idont kno w i dont' know i don't know i don't know ii don't know i dont know

[depressed-vegetable]

finding out from my sister that my parents really aren't as good as i thought they were- i thought the problem was me the entire time

[depressed-vegetable]

how is it that they squeeze the fun out of even the things i'm most interested in

[depressed-vegetable]

"How many scars did you justify because you loved the person who was holding the knife?"

[depressed-vegetable]

not even with any kind of ed or weight loss mindset. too much by normal standards (because my stomach hurts from it)

i keep eating too much