deryapinar

[deryapinar]

"  i'm  terrified  "  he  mutters,  hand  raised  to  prove  his  comment  true,  a  laugh  slipping  from  his  lips.  "  you  don't  have  to  resort  to  violence,  i  did  tell  you  i'd  give  it  back  "  though  a  part  of  him  wouldn't  mind  keeping  a  piece  of  her.  always  the  pessimist,  always  imagining  when  people  would  leave  his  life  even  after  they've  just  walked  in.  and  she  so  quickly  became  someone  he'd  want  to  remember.  "  how  about  i  buy  you  a  drink  and  we  can  discuss  ransom  ?  "  he  teases,  brows  rising  before  he's  sliding  to  the  side,  opening  space  for  her. 

" you still have something that belongs to me, " attempts to remain serious, but the moment she's in front of him, smile is growing. knows she isn't supposed to be flirting with anyone, nor growing any kind of attachment. yet here she is. " i've come to collect, even if it costs you a hand, " teases, head tilting as she pretends to size him up. @malboraslihan liked for a starter ♡

[deryapinar]

there's  a  gleam  that  lingers  in  the  air  as  she  watches  him,  brows  rising  slightly  at  every  single  microexpression  that  surfaces  on  his  features.  it's  been  far  too  long  since  they  last  saw  each  other,  far  too  long  she  had  touched  him,  smiled  at  him,  and  it's  just  now  she  realizes  how  much  that's  left  a  hole  inside  her  chest.  "  carmen  said  it,  a  few  times  "  every  time  she  attempted  to  coax  hazel  into  doing  anything  outside  of  her  house,  especially  when  her  father  had  been  so  adamant  in  locking  her  between  four  walls.  "  we  had  some  good  fun  together,  and  we  almost  never  got  into  trouble  "  she  teases,  smile  blooming  instantly.  "  noah  had  to  intervene  once  or  twice,  but  nothing  that  would  get  us  hurt  "  and  that's  mostly  on  her  brother,  too.  but  she  feels  the  need  to  reassure  him,  even  if  it's  in  the  worst  way  she  possibly  can.  there  was  quite  a  lot  to  catch  up  on,  from  the  day  he  walked  out  on  all  of  them  until  now,  but  that  wasn't  something  she'd  discuss  right  now.  especially  when  he's  walking  towards  her,  contradicting  every  single  thought  that  lived  in  her  head  during  the  years  he  was  away,  the  no  visitations  warnings  that  came  from  each  time  her  brother  got  a  phone  call.  "  i  had  a  feeling  you'd  inevitably  find  a  new  shower  partner  "  openly  pouts  now,  not  bothering  to  hide  the  innuendo  in  her  comment,  even  as  it  paints  her  cheeks  pink.  even  as  she  wonders  if  she  shouldn't,  if  too  much  time  had  passed,  if  things  had  changed  too  much.  "  that  does  sound  a  tiny  bit  better  than  sometimes  "  tone  is  playful  again  and,  this  time,  she's  the  one  crossing  the  distance  between  them  just  enough  for  it  to  be  noticable.  "  what  are  your  plans  now,  then?  besides  grounding  your  sister  for  losing  curfew  a  few  times  "  god,  she  felt  seventeen  and  ridiculous  for  hoping  they  could  still  include  her. 

watches her with quiet contemplation, tries not to let his mind wander too much to who there's been, or what they might have done wrong. isn't too fond of people who hurt the ones he cares about. father had always said he was almost the perfect solider, but his heart was always where he fell short. but to mateo, it was a strength. having people you cared for, wanted to protect, could often drive you to be the kind of crazy that was needed in their world. " i'll take your word for it. " brow playfully raises at her words, eyes narrowing. " i don't know who told you that, but i think they might have lied to you, " he teases, smile growing. he'd missed this. conversation that didn't revolve around prison life, or parole hearings. " recklessness gets a lot of people hurt, especially when carmen is at the forefront. " loves his sister more than anything in this world, but he knows her. notices the frown she wears so beautifully, curses himself for the way he wants to kiss it until it forms into a smile. restrains himself. barley. but the distance between them is evaporating step by step, and he isn't sure how many more he'll gradually take before he's withing distance to reach out and touch. " there was a lot of supple asses in the shower, " he jokes, grin growing as he lets out a laugh, " was almost enough of a distraction to stop me from thinking about yours. " slips out before he can think to stop himself, but he keeps it light, like it's part of the teasing, laugh faltering just that little bit. and now he is close enough to reach out, but he doesn't, not yet. " i missed you all of the time. is that better ? " is that allowed ?

[deryapinar]

knows  he's  fucked  up  the  moment  she's  walking  out  of  the  room  .  freya  shined  in  confrontation  ,  he'd  learned  that  too  easily  from  the  day  they  began  living  together  .  she  enjoyed  picking  fights  and  thrived  off  of  his  reactions  ,  and  maybe  that  was  why  he  was  depriving  her  of  any  now  .  to  punish  her  ,  to  make  her  feel  bad  ,  to  give  her  a  taste  of  what  he  was  feeling  .  it  was  terrible  ,  of  course  ,  and  he  realizes  that  too  much  .  he's  in  the  kitchen  for  another  half  an  hour  ,  organizing  things  that  didn't  need  change  and  tapping  his  fingers  against  the  counter  for  far  too  long  before  he's  climbing  the  stairs  .  three  light  taps  on  the  door  and  he's  weirdly  nervous  ,  as  if  he  was  the  one  to  start  it  all  .  "can  i  come  in  ?"  he  mutters  ,  barely  loud  enough  for  her  to  hear  . 

she knows he’s lying because she knows him , letting him walk off when he puts space between them again , refusing to go after him like a dog . if he wanted to avoid her and treat her like shit when all she was trying to do was the right thing then so be it . she won’t chase a man who didn’t want her . has her hormones to thank for deciding she wasn’t going to lash out tonight . “fine ,” turning , she exits the kitchen to take the stairs to her bedroom , slamming the door shut behind her as she takes slow steps to the mattress , peeling the comforter back to lay in it as she cradles the fabric and wraps it around her frame , staring at the wall as she fights tears back , hating how this feels .

[deryapinar]

"  he's  a  very  busy  man  ,  you  know  .  i  doubt  he  has  time  to  worry  about  what  i  do  with  my  time  "  a  lie  ,  as  her  dad  continues  to  blow  her  up  for  an  appearance  at  another  event  —  and  no  doubt  a  comment  about  the  latest  deuxmoi  post  regarding  her  late  night  adventures  .  "  i  can  be  pretty  convincing  "  perks  up  ,  head  tossed  over  her  shoulders  as  smile  grows  further  .  "  don't  even  need  to  get  money  involved  "

“   and   why   is   that   ?   i   think   he   deserves   to   know   what   his   daughter’s   been   up   to   ,   don’t   you   ?   unless   ,   you’re   trying   to   buy   my   silence   .   ”

[deryapinar]

the  sigh  that  ripples  through  her  almost  screams  relief  at  his  suggestion,  had  been  sitting  on  the  edge  of  her  seat  until  now  but  the  thought  of  their  first  kiss  —  real  kiss,  for  the  matter  —  being  captured  by  a  camera  and  done  in  front  of  a  crew  they  barely  knew.  it  was  too  much  pressure,  too  manufactured.  and  god,  she  shouldn't  be  wanting  for  it  to  be  anything  other  than  that,  it  was  only  pretend  or  at  the  very  least  it  should.  an  actual  kiss  is  just  a  matter  of  technique,  she  has  to  tell  herself,  so  her  cheeks  will  give  her  some  break  and  stop  heating  every  single  time  their  eyes  meet.  "  it's  like  ...  running  lines  ,  right?  "  forces  a  laugh  that  barely  sounds  like  one,  offering  him  a  reassuring  smile  that  holds  no  real  ground.  the  anxiety  that  twists  her  stomach  feels  to  foreign  around  him,  his  presence  so  often  bringing  her  comfort  and  calming  down  whatever  turmoil  that's  happening  inside  her  brain.  but  god,  this  time  it  was  butterflies,  clear  as  that.  shifts  closer  on  the  couch  to  him,  hand  reaching  for  his  thigh  for  support  before  she  brushes  it  off,  like  she  might  have  accidently  touched  a  hot  pan.  "  this  won't  make  things  weird,  right?  it's  work  "  she  needs  him  to  confirm  it,  so  her  brain  can  actually  believe  it.  cause  as  much  as  the  rush  in  her  veins  feels  real,  at  the  end  of  the  day  they're  simply  friends.  

it would be silly, wouldn't it ? a little too telling if he suggested a practise run. but when she sits up, looks at him with that smile, and those eyes that say she feels safe with him, it takes everything in him not to lean in and kiss her without any illusion at all. " it could, " nods in agreement, softness to his smile that is reserved, it seems, only for her. " i think it would. " of course it would. because he'd finally stop holding himself back, show a real glimpse of how he actually feels, even if he'll likely have to conceal it once again once the scene is over. runs a hand through his hair, glancing away for a moment. just long enough to catch his breath. isn't usually one to fold so soon, but he can't help himself. not with her sitting this close. not with her looking at him like she might be wondering the same thing. " maybe before we go back out there, " begins as he lets his warm gaze settle on her once again, voice lower now, " maybe we should try it first. just us, no cameras. no pressure. " it's a terrible excuse, but there's part of him that can't help but to want a moment just for the two of them. though he realizes now that may not be the most professional move in the world. " just to see if it feels right. don't want to second-guess ourselves mid-scene, right ? " does his best to make a save, keep his cool composure. but heat is rising to the back of his neck, threatening to tint his cheeks. " just a test run, " breathes out, a subtle hint of nervousness not often found. " and only if you want to. "

[deryapinar]

"  they're  not  allowed  extra  minutes  "  he  mutters  under  his  breath,  a  rule  he  had  made  up  on  the  spot.  a  ridiculous  explanation  to  his  behavior,  simply  because  jealousy  would  never  be  acceptable  here.  "  fine,  "  he  scoffs,  shifting  to  retrieve  his  wallet  from  the  back  pocket  of  his  jeans.  "  you  want  the  money  i've  lost  you?  here,  take  it  "  holds  a  few  hundreds  in  direction,  it's  pathetic  and  he  feels  like  it,  regretting  the  way  it  looks  the  moment  he  does  it.  but  he's  been  known  for  his  impulsiveness,  and  even  more  for  the  lack  of  control.  "  who  cares  if  he  goes?  there's  another  rich  guy  trying  to  get  with  you  in  every  corner  we  go  "  fuck,  he  should  be  doing  a  better  job  at  keeping  his  cool.  at  pretending  he  wasn't  bothered  with  the  job  his  dad  forced  onto  him.  "  please  do,  i  hope  he  changes  his  mind  hearing  it  from  you  because  from  me,  it's  been  useless  "

" he was willing to pay double for a few extra minutes, " and sure, while she often couldn't wait for it to be over, at this point she disassociated so much during the act, it really didn't make much difference either way. but money is the reason she's in this, and she isn't happy about losing out on it. " you just cost me a couple hundred in tips, asshole. and potentially one my my best clients. " and in this line of work, it was better the devil you knew. regulars you grew familiar with would always be safer options than new. eyes narrow in on him, loud scoff sounding, carries like an echo. " oh, don't you worry about that. if i have it my way, i won't have to see you around here again. "

[deryapinar]

hates  that  the  question  on  the  tip  of  his  mouth  gets  swallowed  instead  of  spoken  into  the  air  ,  he  was  rarely  one  for  holding  back  and  yet  ,  he  can  feel  something  is  happening  that  she  doesn't  really  wanna  share  .  she  probably  wouldn't  have  gone  to  his  game  if  she  suddenly  had  a  boyfriend  ,  right  ?  he  nods  at  her  proposition  .  "  we  can  definitely  have  a  raincheck  "  smile  spreads  over  his  features  ,  making  sure  she  knows  he  means  it  .  "  i'll  drive  you  home  though  "  wasn't  really  interested  in  the  bar  that  badly  anyway  ,  not  if  she's  not  going  to  be  there  . 

" i really do . " her frown matches his , hating how so many new responsibilities have taken over of her life , keeping her from staying out with a cute guy into the early hours of the morning . despite the disappointment it brought her , she was quickly learning that anyone who deserved a place in her life would understand ... if only she could muster up the courage to tell him why . " raincheck ? "

[deryapinar]

it's  not  the  comment  she  expects  from  him  after  the  night  they  had  ,  and  yet  ,  she's  not  surprised  .  was  slowly  building  up  a  wall  when  it  come  to  him  ,  something  she  had  never  thought  would  be  necessary  .  "he's  my  boss  ,  not  my  boyfriend"  scoffs  ,  arms  crossing  over  her  chest  in  defense  .  "and  it  was  just  a  drunken  thing"  brows  rise  as  if  waiting  for  confirmation  ,  or  denial  ,  cause  it  hadn't  just  anything  for  her  ,  even  if  she  wouldn’t  be  caught  dead  admitting  it  . 

"did it make you feel bad when you cheated on your man last night ?"

[deryapinar]

she's  hardly  one  to  get  shy  and  yet,  a  little  hesitation  blooms  from  his  question,  shaking  her  head  both  eyes  as  smile  spreads  further.  "i  don't  think  you'll  ever  get  to  find  that  out"  bullshit,  and  she  knew  it  well.  the  growing  sexual  tension  between  them  was  already  too  much  for  her  to  keep  pretending  she  couldn't  stand  his  presence,  but  she'd  hold  it  for  longer  —  out  of  spite,  maybe,  or  because  it  was  a  little  too  fun.  "that's  rude"  lesser  pops  out,  pout  blooming  on  her  features  as  arms  cross  over  her  shoulder.  can't  tell  if  he  means  it  and  that  might  be  the  worst  part.  "you  could  ask  around,  you  know"  shrugs  her  shoulder,  deciding  to  turn  back  the  provocation.  "that  cute  bartender  over  there?  he  can  tell  you  what  i'm  into,  he  did  pretty  good"  smug  is  clear,  head  tilting  victorious.  "he  usually  gets  me  drinks  on  the  house  anyway  but,  "  another  shrug  of  her  shoulders  and  she  leans  into  the  space  between  them,  brims  spreading.  "i  could  get  a  new  one,  probably"

a smile appears on his face. for once not the type of smile that's just an accessory to his flamboyance — but a genuine one. she's funnier than he's given her credit for. "i'm an open book, darlin'. real question is, what's it you're into, huh?" he twirls his drink around his glass while auburn-hued irises refuse to let go of her. "you've always given me vanilla vibes — ain't gonna lie." it's not an insult or meant as one. at the end of the day, he sees the beauty in normality. on top of that, she's good-looking in a way where pretty much anything would work to get most guys off, including him, as much as he likes it or not. "ruin it? i would never." holding up his hands in an innocent manner, he shrugs his shoulders. "if anything i'd love to make your day better. the drink, for starters." he points at it before a dirty smile falls onto his lips. "and whatever else you're suggesting."

[deryapinar]

"can't  keep  pushing  me  away  if  you're  gonna  end  up  on  my  door  drunk  by  the  end  of  the  night"  tone  isn't  as  sharp  as  the  words  coming  out  of  his  mouth  ,  shoulders  falling  into  place  as  he  leans  over  the  kitchen  counter  .  "but  you  can  enjoy  the  party  ,  reid  .  i'll  just  see  you  later"  and  in  a  few  minutes  ,  if  the  guy  he  had  told  to  stay  away  decided  to  be  stupid  tonight  .  

"you can get the fuck away from me ."

[deryapinar]

"  you  do  realize  that  makes  you  the  worst  future  husband  in  the  entire  world  ,  right  ?  "  pushes  a  playful  tone  though  she's  still  speaking  through  her  teeth  ,  sighing  as  arms  lay  crossed  against  her  chest  .  "  are  you  gonna  be  doing  that  for  the  rest  of  our  lives  ?  "  narrows  her  eyes  and  then  they're  rolling  upwards  ,  shifting  on  her  feet  to  step  closer  to  him  ,  chin  raised  up  to  meet  his  gaze  .  "  or  is  that  your  plan  to  get  off  of  this  ?  cause  i  can  get  behind  one  ,  as  long  as  it  doesn't  fuck  me  over  in  the  process  "

" he asked me if you were giving me any trouble . was i supposed to lie to him ? " didn't see any issue with telling the truth — that she was quite a handful at times , " besides , i didn't tell him the worst parts . "

[deryapinar]

her  voice  sounds  like  a  death  sentence  to  his  brain  ,  he  knows  then  and  there  that  he  wouldn't  be  walking  away  from  this  .  it  was  their  wish  ,  their  daughter  and  somehow  the  two  of  them  managed  to  be  chosen  to  carry  that  .  except  they  never  expected  worst  would  come  so  quickly  ,  so  out  of  the  blue  ,  in  a  rainy  night  .  he  nods  at  her  just  out  of  habit  ,  to  make  sure  he's  heard  even  if  he  doesn't  have  an  answer  yet  .  he  knew  well  enough  he  wouldn't  let  her  do  it  alone  ,  keegan  didn't  know  how  to  be  selfish  ,  and  to  strip  her  off  any  help  or  throwing  the  work  all  into  her  hands  ,  it  simply  wasn't  fair  .  "  i'm  not  walking  away  "  he  mutters  ,  after  some  time  .  "  but  how  are  you  so  sure  ?  it's  a  child  "  an  entire  life  they  could  potentially  wreck  .  and  the  fact  she  seemed  so  calm  and  collected  regarding  it  made  his  meltdown  feel  worse  .  that  wasn’t  who  his  dad  had  raised  to  be  ;  a  quitter  .  so  ,  of  course  ,  he  won’t  leave  .  

she would never say it out loud , least of all to him , but their shared suffocating feeling of uncertainty and fear was impossible to ignore . every dream , every goal , every aspect of her life had changed overnight . not just with the newly awarded guardianship , but with the loss of her closest friends . nothing about her life going forward would be the same whether or not they accepted their friend's wishes . the last thing she wanted to do was fail them in a time where she was needed the most . " it's what they wanted , keegan . " she reminds him as if their decision wasn't sending her down the same spiral he was on . " if you want out , the door is right there . i'm probably better off doing this without you anyway . "

[deryapinar]

the  ball  had  always  been  hanging  over  her  head,  ready  to  drop  and  ruin  whatever  they  had  going  on.  she  should've  kept  her  guard  up,  as  she  did  once,  but  he  had  so  easily  creeped  into  the  cracks  she  was  constantly  allowing  her  worries  to  slip  away.  "  why  would  your  sister  think  that  ?  "  it's  not  instant  denial,  because  god,  she'd  hate  having  to  lie  to  him  directly.  it's  clear  though,  by  the  way  blush  paints  her  cheeks  and  how  quickly  she  avoids  his  gaze  that  it  couldn't  be  more  true.  "  can  we  not  do  this  right  now  ?  "  when  alcohol  is  pumping  through  their  veins  and  she  suddenly  feels  sick,  needing  an  out,  an  escape  —  a  little  more  before  she  can  watch  him  start  to  hate  her.  

" i was hoping you could clear something up for me, " smile is faltering by the second, an attempt to keep his composure failing miserably. mood had already been low, but not enough for him to overlook his sisters obvious distaste towards hae. something he couldn't quite understand until he'd finally manged to source the reason. a reason he hopes isn't true. jaw tenses, and he's closing in on her, voice hushed. " see my sister seems to be under the impression that you're fucking my dad, but that would be pretty sick. right ? " @deryapinar ft. maddox & pain <33

[deryapinar]

doesn't   hide   the   way   eyes   narrow   at   the   choice   of   nickname   she   drops   so   casually   into   conversation   .   feels   a   bit   ridiculous   ,   even   ,   had   never   been   given   one   before   and   much   less   in   such   a   careless   way   .   "   i   don't   have   any   romantic   endeavors   appointed   right   now   ,   eden   "   saved   from   the   occasional   hook   ups   in   the   past   years   ,   had   barely   engaged   in   any   type   of   romantic   anything   .   he   was   married   to   his   work   ,   his   friend   would   always   joke   ,   but   the   truth   is   that   he   barely   had   time   to   think   about   it   or   the   courage   to   bring   someone   into   the   type   of   life   he   was   trapped   into   .   whatever   ,   that   was   part   of   his   past   and   now   he   was   in   a   different   phase   .   finding   himself   at   a   bar   on   a   friday   night   ,   for   once   ,   and   having   someone   whose   company   didn't   bother   him   —   even   if   she   was   merely   a   friend   .   or   so   he   kept   trying   to   remind   himself   .   "   you're   very   hard   to   ignore   "   he   teases   ,   nothing   meaningful   behind   his   statement   .   eyes   fall   to   where   she's   touching   him   ,   corners   glued   into   place   before   he's   quickly   restoring   eye   contact   ,   ignoring   the   way   skin   burns   under   soft   fingers   .   "   she   bought   me   one   drink   and   it   was   only   because   she   accidentally   bumped   into   mine   "   which   ,   looking   back   ,   might   have   been   a   bit   of   a   move   on   her   part   .   "   it's   not   a   competition   ,   eden   "   reminds   her   ,   though   ,   it   plans   a   seed   inside   his   brain   he   won't   allow   himself   to   look   into   now   .   "   you   know   me   ,   she's   just   a   girl   in   the   bar   .   it's   simple   as   that   "

"   nice   translates   to   boring   .   unless   you're   into   that   ,   of   course   .   i'll   always   support   your   romantic   endeavors   ,   uggy   .   "   says   sweetly   ,   though   she   doesn't   mean   it   in   the   slightest   .   may   as   well   be   struck   by   lightning   with   the   weight   of   that   lie   --   her   intentions   clearly   not   to   wingman   him   ,   but   to   cockblock   him   .   which   ,   so   far   ,   was   a   complete   success   .   "   because   you   just   can't   keep   your   eyes   off   me   ,   huh   ?   "   teases   on   a   smile   ,   fingers   curling   around   his   arm   in   a   friendly   gesture   ,   "   it's   not   rude   if   i   like   you   staring   at   me   .   "   squeezes   his   muscle   gently   but   doesn't   take   her   hand   away   ,   purposely   keeping   it   there   as   gaze   lifts   towards   the   other   femme   he's   referring   to   .   his   friend   .   "   didn't   realize   you   two   were   so   familiar   with   each   other   ..   she's   buying   you   drinks   ?   she   must   reallyyy   like   you   .   "   and   it's   clear   by   the   way   the   other   woman   won't   stop   glancing   over   at   them   ,   the   corners   to   her   lips   threatening   to   fall   from   the   radiant   smile   still   curving   them   .   "   too   bad   i   know   your   drink   order   and   she   doesn't   .   point   for   eden   .   "

[deryapinar]

sits   with   the   reminder   ,   that   whatever   they   had   before   was   now   turned   into   something   completely   new   ,   something   he   despised   but   would   have   to   deal   with   .   "   you're   right   ,   i   could   have   told   you   that   "   except   ,   it   would've   been   a   straight   up   lie   .   he   was   still   interested   ,   in   fact   ,   thinking   about   her   had   made   the   entire   trip   slightly   less   traumatic   in   some   ways   .   she   was   his   escape   from   reality   but   that   was   also   not   fair   to   put   on   her   plate   ,   so   he   had   her   only   through   his   own   memories   ,   no   contact   ,   keeping   her   out   of   whatever   his   life   had   become   for   those   months   .   "   i'm   sorry   i   didn't   end   things   with   you   before   going   away   ,   didn't   really   plan   it   "   never   did   ,   if   they   made   a   decision   at   the   drop   of   a   hat   ,   he   was   forced   to   abide   .   to   drop   everything   he   had   built   ,   everything   he   had   ,   in   order   to   protect   a   family   he's   never   part   of   —   and   never   would   .   "   you   know   what   i'm   referring   to   ,   dove   "   almost   grimaces   with   words   ,   the   image   planted   inside   his   brain   ,   of   the   moment   he   was   back   in   town   ;   his   hands   around   her   waist   ,   her   sitting   on   his   lap   and   whatever   had   happened   in   that   office   before   he   was   called   in   .   "   but   it's   true   now   ,   apparently   "   holds   a   grudge   of   his   own   ,   unable   to   swallow   her   assumption   that   easy   .   he   had   done   too   much   bad   ,   her   thought   process   shouldn't   surprise   him   in   the   slightless   .   but   it   still   hurt   ,   knowing   even   she   didn't   see   any   humanity   left   in   him   .   "   you're   right   ,   no   point   in   going   in   circles   "   admits   defeat   as   it   comes   ,   nodding   simply   at   her   words   .   "   i   hope   you   know   what   you're   doing   —   with   him   —   because   he   doesn't   deal   well   with   dead   and   gone   "  

"   not   your   honey   .   "   corrects   immediately   ,   the   tick   to   her   jaw   giving   away   her   irritation   .   didn't   understand   why   she   assumed   they   could   be   friends   --   in   her   sea   of   guilt   ,   she   thought   it   was   a   good   idea   .   now   that   it   all   cleared   ,   realizes   that   friendship   is   the   last   thing   they   could   ever   share   together   .   "   right   ,   stuff   to   do   .   could've   just   told   me   you   were   no   longer   interested   in   fucking   me   instead   of   going   ghost   .   "   there's   a   bitter   upturn   of   her   lips   ,   one   that's   quickly   washed   away   .   is   already   over   this   conversation   ,   especially   when   it's   revealing   a   little   too   much   about   her   :   that   he   got   to   her   ,   that   their   few   encounters   dug   beneath   her   skin   more   than   she'd   willingly   admit   .   brows   shoot   up   her   forehead   at   his   choice   of   words   ,   a   laugh   of   her   own   escaping   ,   "   yeah   ,   quite   a   few   actually   .   that's   my   job   .   or   are   you   referring   to   a   specific   lap   ,   one   of   them   bother   you   more   than   the   rest   ?   "   not   that   it   matters   .   she'd   only   seek   out   the   other   person   as   a   way   tospite   him   if   he   showed   his   cards   and   admitted   it   .   "   that's   not   true   .   "   shifts   from   one   foot   to   the   other   ,   visibly   uncomfortable   .   "   wasn't   always   ,   at   least   .   "   her   grudge   ,   however   ,   definitely   made   her   feel   that   way   sometimes   .   "   nothing   ,   forget   it   .   whatever   existed   between   us   is   dead   and   gone   ,   anyway   .   there's   no   point   in   going   in   circles   .   "

[deryapinar]

doesn't  entertain  his  statement  too  much,  glare  burning  into  his  own  before  she's  shifting  on  her  feet,  arms  still  crossed  over  her  chest  as  she  holds  for  an  explanation.  didn't  really  mind  the  place  he  came  from,  no  matter  how  hardly  he  tried  to  highlight  the  difference  in  their  upbringing.  he  only  knew  the  good  about  her  family,  what  made  it  to  the  news  and  the  campaign  her  father  had  put  around  the  city,  but  there  were  too  many  skeletons  in  their  closets  —  some  put  there  by  her  own  doing.  "prison?"  she  repeats,  shock  runs  through  her  but  she  forces  it  to  the  back  of  her  head,  blinking  rapidly  to  recover.  "are  you  okay?"  that's  probably  the  wrong  question  to  ask,  and  she  knows  it.  "that  happens  to  be  a  fine  excuse  to  not  pick  up  my  calls"  shrugs  her  shoulders,  lips  pushed  into  a  line  as  brows  furrow  with  his  comment.  "you're  pushing  me  away  because  i'm  a  model?"  asks  dumbly,  knew  well  enough  what  he  was  doing,  but  didn't  care  either.  if  he  wanted  to  keep  her  away,  he'd  have  to  say  it,  not  blame  it  on  their  differences.  

with  the  tilt  of  his  head  and  he  quirks  a  smile,  while  he  looks  at  the  brunette.  it  takes  him  just  a  second  too  long  to  respond.  "you  probably  should  —  hide  me,  i  mean."  he  chews  his  lower  lip  as  he  watches  her,  wondering  how  he  never  clocked  it  before  that's  she's  from  —  *class*.  all  the  while  he's  from  somewhere  she'd  barely  survive.  it  all  makes  sense  now,  but  that  doesn't  mean  the  initial  attraction  has  gone  away  all  of  a  sudden.  "i  was  in  prison,  that's  most  likely  why  i  didn't  pick  up  any  calls."  he's  saying  it  dryly,  with  a  nonchalant  shrug  of  his  shoulder  while  he  eyes  her  up  and  down.  "if  anything  —  point  proven,  you've  got  no  business  spending  time  with  someone  like  me.  i'm  sure  you're  doing  fine  for  yourself.  making  thousands  from  that  face of yours,  just  to  smile.  congrats."

[deryapinar]

she's  left  feeling  a  bit  ridiculous  when  the  other  speaks  again  ,  heat  painting  her  cheeks  and  creeping  into  the  back  of  her  neck  .  she'll  blame  it  on  the  alcohol  again  ,  whatever  .  and  if  jodie  wanted  time  for  herself  or  other  friends  ,  what  was  the  issue  ?  "  you  can  ,  of  course  you  can  "  rolls  her  eyes  playfully  as  laugh  is  forced  past  her  lips  ,  tossing  a  piece  of  hair  over  her  shoulder  .  "  it  was  just  a  joke  ,  that's  all  "  and  that's  a  lie  ,  such  an  easy  one  to  notice  though  with  the  way  she  traps  her  bottom  lip  between  her  teeth  the  moment  words  are  out  of  her  mouth  .

" oh , thanks . " she reaches for her mouth , wiping around her lips to rid her face of the lipstick she hadn't known had smeared . the tension between them seemed to rise with each and every assumption she was greeted with , the contents of her stomach dropping with her final blow . " i didn't disappear on you , saja . " she clarified haphazardly , leaving out every detail the femme was asking for . " what ? am i not allowed to spend time with any of my other friends now ? "