desperate-boyclown

[desperate-boyclown]

GUYS (i scream to my five followers) I FOUND AN APPRENTICESHIP!!! IT'S FINALLY 100% CONFIRMED!!!! I'M SO FUCKING RELIEVED AAAAAA

I'M GONNA HAVE A JOB AND MONEY!!

[desperate-boyclown]

there's something so hot about seeing my cuts peak from under his hand when he holds my thigh

[desperate-boyclown]

Credit: @sweatermuppet

[desperate-boyclown]

[desperate-boyclown]

it's one of those days were i really fucking wish i were dead instead

[desperate-boyclown]

Every time I see “do you wanna look like this?” with a picture of someone who’s heavy or those comparisons between midsize people and skinny people wearing the same outfits, it pissed me the fuck off to no end. Chubby people are fucking gorgeous. They’re soft and huggable and comfortable and happy. If they’re healthy, they’re perfect.

We don’t do this because fat is bad or fat is ugly. It’s not. We do this because we’re sick. And how dare anyone talk like that about healthy, happy people. How dare anyone spread that kind of toxicity. Thinspo that positively reinforces the idea of being unhealthily skinny is just as bad, and honestly the whole idea of it makes the sickness worse. But if you’re gonna make yourself worse, leave the people who are lucky enough to not have to deal with this shit out of it.

[desperate-boyclown]

✨Weekly Diary✨

June 2 - June 8

Saw Sinners at the cinema for the second time! I wish I could rediscover it, it just didn't hit as good when I knew what was coming. 😔 Still was great though!!

Went back to my parents', so I saw my biological daughter (a.k.a my cat)!! Went to my aunt's birthday party and made friends with a 5 y.o girl. She was so sweet. 😭💖

ED diary:

I reached my 68kg gw!!! I'm now at 67. 😌 It makes me so happyyy, I'm thankful for the two weeks of forced liquid/soft diet because of my healing tongue piercing haha. Now I have to keep that energy moving forward!

I really need to go back to doing sport. 😩 Miku (from Fitness Boxing) is waiting for meeee. 😩😩😩

See below the cut for pictures of our cats!

(The tuxedo is my family's cat, and the tortie is mine!)

That's it for now! See you next time!

[desperate-boyclown]

all i want is to look sick

[desperate-boyclown]

slowly killing yourself never felt better.

[desperate-boyclown]

The fat phobia in 3dblr is genuinely astounding. If ur the kind of person who consumes f@tsp0 or shames f@t people without their consent then please ffs block me. I hate you sm.

[desperate-boyclown]

I need to be small enough to be held like this

(I know it’s physically impossible but a man can dream)

[desperate-boyclown]

«eww, you smoke» – they never understand that i smoke to suppress my hung3r

[desperate-boyclown]

i'm at my parents' so i got to weigh myself and I'M 66.9 KILOS!!!! i got another gw down!! FIESTAAA 🎉🎉🎉 i feel so happy 😭😭💖

[desperate-boyclown]

[TW: eating disorder imagery, suicidal ideations]

4am vent art and dream physique

[desperate-boyclown]

✨Weekly Diary✨

May 26 - June 1st

We played Dungeons and Dragons with friends for the first time in forever!! We had lots of fun. 🥰 Also, I THINK I FINALLY FOUND AN APPRENTICESHIP??? I'm just waiting for them to send me some documents back, so that my school can write the contract. 😬

ED diary:

Thanks to my tongue piercing healing, I haven't been eating as much as usual! I shall try to keep that energy in the future. 😌 I walked quite a lot too!

That's it for this week! See you soon. :))

[desperate-boyclown]

Things to do instead

Sleep- dont be afraid of a nap

Journal- vent, write out food diary, make little doodles, practice handwriting, make it colorful, add pictures and inspiration

Make a new Pinterest Board

Read- come on pick that book youve been procrastinating

Learn a new language - Duolingo is my choice

Color by number- app or IRL

Sew, Crochet, Knit

Paint your nails- file, shape, color, add designs

Go for a walk- go a little further than last time DONT FORGET WATER

Skin care routine- face wash, mask, toner, moisturizer. Bonus points for a lip mask

Lotion every inch of your body / scented lotion on your hands

Brush your hair slowly methodically

Clean your hair brush

Try a new hairstyle- smallest possible pieces into a french braid is an arm workout

Video games, or mobile app games

Organize your wardrobe- take every single item out. Put in order by color, by season, by dress length, sleeve length, find a motivation outfit

Listen to music- go down a youtube rabbit hole, discover new bands

Wash make up brushes

Vacuum- get every spot on carpet in all directions

Dishes- handwash, hand dry, put away (you dont want to dirty your just cleaned dishes right?)

Dust- base boards, ceiling fans, window blinds

Puzzle- mobile app / IRL

Origami- lots of youtube tutorials, people seem really into paper stars lately, personally I make a bunch of paper cranes I make them in the smallest sizes I can

Clean your shoes

Make a meal plan for the week / month- look up foods search their cals and macros, write out OMADs or fasting times, pre log it so you know what your goals are

Make a new workout plan- doing the same thing every day will platue you, mix it up

Yoga- deep stretches and breathing excerices

Draw in a sketch book- improve your skill, even if your a stick figure kind of artist turn him into a lil flip book

Painting- I will never be Bob Ross but my water colors do just fine

Pets- walks, shower, brush teeth, trim nails, brush

This is a slightly more in depth version from my old list

[desperate-boyclown]