detailsinmydevils

[detailsinmydevils]

Dr. Brownstein stared down at the young man who laid unconscious on the hospital bed, hooked to an extensive number of machines that helped keep him alive. He sighed and looked at his file; his condition was very serious. He had been stabbed multiple times, which damaged his internal organs and had bled way too much by the time he got assistance. Not to mention he had arrived nearly dead at the hospital. The doctor tried to piece together the information the group of punks had given him; his name was Kevin, he was not related to anyone in that group and he was seemingly jumped by two unknown Nazis. As one of the punks told him, he also played in an underground band he obviously didn’t know. They also said he had mentioned a “Morgan” before he lost consciousness, but they had no idea who that was and if “Morgan” and Kevin were related at all. The doctor let the group of punks go after they told him everything they could. There wasn’t much he could do with all that. Or at least he thought so.

Until a “Morgan” checked in at the hospital some time later. He had also been stabbed (possibly by the same men) and although his wound wasn’t as serious as Kevin’s, his state was also pretty bad due to the fact that his health was compromised. Morgan was obviously a drug addict. It was also impressive how much both of them looked alike. The doctor supposed they were probably brothers. But they could be just friends too. Or...

The possibility that what happened to them was a hate crime couldn’t be ruled out. Dr Brownstein moved to Morgan’s room. He would probably wake up soon and, when he did, maybe he could help him piece together what had happened. If it was really a hate crime, he would have to get the police involved. Maybe Morgan could help identify the attackers; they couldn’t just keep randomly assaulting people in the streets, they had to go to jail. Whatever the outcome would be, one thing was certain; it would not be easy for the doctor to tell that young man that his brother, friend or lover could possibly never wake up again.

“You know, it fucking hurts me that I have to do that, Morgan. It really does.” Ogre said in a very serious tone, with a hint of sadness in his voice rather than the anger one would usually feel in a situation like that. In the past he used to get really angry with Morgue’s escapes and relapses, but it was mostly because he was extremely worried about his well being. One of the singer’s biggest fears was to lose his best friend to addiction. “But until you learn to have more self control, I’m going to have to lock you up like a fucking animal.” Ogre bitterly said as he locked the last of the locks on Morgue’s bedroom door. He felt incredibly evil and cruel doing that, but he couldn’t take any chances; every time his friend escaped, he got into some sort of life threatening situation. Ogre vividly remembered how stressful and painful all those episodes were to him. “I’m going out, I won’t take too long. I’m sorry, Morgan.” He sighed sadly and made his way out of the apartment.

Ogre mindlessly walked by the sidewalk, even though he knew he should be more careful, living in a dangerous area like that. He hoped one day Morgue would be well enough and they would have enough money to move out to a better place. His mind wandered as he thought about his friend while also being focused on getting to his destination. Suddenly, a loud whistle and a yelled word took him out of his thoughts. “Faggot”. That was what the man yelled. Ogre stopped dead in his tracks and turned around. Two bald men glared at him from the other side of the sidewalk. Feeling his blood boil with anger, Ogre glared back. Looking the way he did, having fluffy teased hair and wearing mostly tight fitting black clothes, he was used to receiving that kind of response from people, but it always angered him. “Fuck off!” He barked at them and resumed walking, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket. The men would probably walk away and mind their own business, or at least that’s what Ogre thought. He didn’t really care when he began hearing hurried footsteps behind him.

“What did you say, fairy?!”

Ogre felt the hairs in the back of his neck stand up as he heard the man’s booming voice right behind him. He spun around, his heart racing, and as the two men walked closer to him, he walked backwards, trying to back away from them. “I told you to fuck off and leave me alone!” Feeling threatened, the singer shoved one of the men. Right as he tried to run away, the other one put him in a headlock. “Get off me!” Ogre yelled, struggling against the man’s grip but to no avail; he was much stronger than him, even with the singer being slightly taller. Still thrashing and struggling, he was effortlessly dragged into an alleyway by the two men. “Let me go!” Ogre choked out as the headlock tightened around his neck to the point he could barely breathe.

“You know, faggots like you shouldn’t live in our society. You’re fucking scum.” The skinhead said, with a malicious grin on his face. Ogre coughed as he was released from the headlock, but his freedom didn’t last long as the man who was holding him grabbed his arms, pinning them to his back. The singer opened his mouth to reply to him, but froze as he saw the faint glistening of a blade in the penumbra. A hand clamped tightly over his mouth, muffling his terrified scream. Ogre began to struggle so desperately that he managed to free one of his arms, but the man was quicker. Tears of pain streamed down his face and he let out a muffled cry as he felt the blade of the knife pierce his stomach. The skinhead’s face was inches away from his and his eyes glowed with pure hatred and joy. Ogre screamed in agony as he stabbed him over and over again.

“Be careful not to get any blood on you, this skinny fag must have AIDS.” The other bald man stated, letting out a cruel laugh.

“You’re right. Just one more.” The man buried the knife deep into Ogre’s stomach, twisting it hard, but slowly. The singer felt as if he was about to pass out from the unbearable pain. “Where’s your boyfriend?” The skinhead taunted him, giving the blade another sharp twist before he removed it from the wound. “Pray that he comes save you. Or don’t, cause if he comes, we’re gonna kill him too.” Putting the knife away, he searched through Ogre’s pockets until he found his wallet. “Let’s go.”

Ogre dropped to the floor as soon as the man released him. He delivered a hard kick in the middle of the singer’s shoulder blades, making him fall over face first on the pavement. Ogre heard the footsteps and cruel laughter moving away from him. For a few moments, he absolutely could not move, being in too much pain to be able to do anything else other than groan and cry, pressing his hands against the bleeding wound. He hoped someone would hear him and come to his aid, but after the skinheads left, the street fell silent. Ogre removed his hands from his stomach and gasped as he saw how badly he was actually bleeding. Sobbing both in pain and in fear, he slowly began propping himself up against the wall so he could stand up. His legs felt numb as he took careful, erratic steps out of the alleyway. Looking around, he noticed the streets were indeed empty. More tears welled up inside his eyes as his dizziness began to increase. He didn’t feel like he could hang in much longer, but he knew that if he passed out, he would bleed to death. “H-Help…” Ogre tried to scream, but his voice came out in a weak groan. He was doomed: there was no one in sight to help him, he couldn’t use a payphone to call for an ambulance because his wallet had been stolen and he had locked up the only person that could come to his aid. “I-I don’t want to die…” He whispered, not realizing he had said that out loud.

Suddenly, a bright light flashed over him and he looked up to see a car coming down the road. Ogre didn’t think twice before literally throwing himself over the car, which stopped abruptly before hitting him. “Please! Please, help me!” The singer found his voice again as he leaned over the hood and staining it with blood, barely being able to support himself anymore. He heard the muffled sound of loud punk rock music coming from inside the car, and he felt relief wash over him as a group of people with colorful mohawks and long hair jumped out.

“Fuck, are you okay, dude?” A man with long, dark hair and a studded vest grabbed Ogre right as he was about to fall to the floor again. At this point the singer was blabbering incoherently, begging for them to help him and sobbing hard as he felt his consciousness slipping as the minutes passed.

“That goth is bleeding like a pig!” A girl with a pink mohawk yelled, horrified. “He needs to go to the hospital right now, guys!”

“Hey, can you tell us what happened? What’s your name?” A calmer and more collected metalhead tried to talk to Ogre. The mess of colors and sounds didn’t help him keep his focus. He felt himself being lifted up and put into the backseat of the car. Someone took his jacket off and pressed it against the wound in his stomach.

“I… My n-name is Kevin… Kevin Ogilvie.” Ogre tried to piece his words together as he felt his mind slipping further. “I-I was attacked b-by… Nazis… I need help!” A punk guy comforted him as he began crying again. “Please, I-I don’t wanna die!”

“You’ll be okay, dude.” The punk guy tried to reassure him, gently stroking his fluffy hair. “Nazis are fucking scum.”

Ogre couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore, but he felt the car going across the streets at a fast speed. “M-Morgan…” He muttered. “Tell him…”

“Who’s Morgan?” Was the last thing he heard before everything went dark and silent.

@bringmemycocaine

[detailsinmydevils]

“You know, it fucking hurts me that I have to do that, Morgan. It really does.” Ogre said in a very serious tone, with a hint of sadness in his voice rather than the anger one would usually feel in a situation like that. In the past he used to get really angry with Morgue’s escapes and relapses, but it was mostly because he was extremely worried about his well being. One of the singer’s biggest fears was to lose his best friend to addiction. “But until you learn to have more self control, I’m going to have to lock you up like a fucking animal.” Ogre bitterly said as he locked the last of the locks on Morgue’s bedroom door. He felt incredibly evil and cruel doing that, but he couldn’t take any chances; every time his friend escaped, he got into some sort of life threatening situation. Ogre vividly remembered how stressful and painful all those episodes were to him. “I’m going out, I won’t take too long. I’m sorry, Morgan.” He sighed sadly and made his way out of the apartment.

Ogre mindlessly walked by the sidewalk, even though he knew he should be more careful, living in a dangerous area like that. He hoped one day Morgue would be well enough and they would have enough money to move out to a better place. His mind wandered as he thought about his friend while also being focused on getting to his destination. Suddenly, a loud whistle and a yelled word took him out of his thoughts. “Faggot”. That was what the man yelled. Ogre stopped dead in his tracks and turned around. Two bald men glared at him from the other side of the sidewalk. Feeling his blood boil with anger, Ogre glared back. Looking the way he did, having fluffy teased hair and wearing mostly tight fitting black clothes, he was used to receiving that kind of response from people, but it always angered him. “Fuck off!” He barked at them and resumed walking, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket. The men would probably walk away and mind their own business, or at least that’s what Ogre thought. He didn’t really care when he began hearing hurried footsteps behind him.

“What did you say, fairy?!”

Ogre felt the hairs in the back of his neck stand up as he heard the man’s booming voice right behind him. He spun around, his heart racing, and as the two men walked closer to him, he walked backwards, trying to back away from them. “I told you to fuck off and leave me alone!” Feeling threatened, the singer shoved one of the men. Right as he tried to run away, the other one put him in a headlock. “Get off me!” Ogre yelled, struggling against the man’s grip but to no avail; he was much stronger than him, even with the singer being slightly taller. Still thrashing and struggling, he was effortlessly dragged into an alleyway by the two men. “Let me go!” Ogre choked out as the headlock tightened around his neck to the point he could barely breathe.

“You know, faggots like you shouldn’t live in our society. You’re fucking scum.” The skinhead said, with a malicious grin on his face. Ogre coughed as he was released from the headlock, but his freedom didn’t last long as the man who was holding him grabbed his arms, pinning them to his back. The singer opened his mouth to reply to him, but froze as he saw the faint glistening of a blade in the penumbra. A hand clamped tightly over his mouth, muffling his terrified scream. Ogre began to struggle so desperately that he managed to free one of his arms, but the man was quicker. Tears of pain streamed down his face and he let out a muffled cry as he felt the blade of the knife pierce his stomach. The skinhead’s face was inches away from his and his eyes glowed with pure hatred and joy. Ogre screamed in agony as he stabbed him over and over again.

“Be careful not to get any blood on you, this skinny fag must have AIDS.” The other bald man stated, letting out a cruel laugh.

“You’re right. Just one more.” The man buried the knife deep into Ogre’s stomach, twisting it hard, but slowly. The singer felt as if he was about to pass out from the unbearable pain. “Where’s your boyfriend?” The skinhead taunted him, giving the blade another sharp twist before he removed it from the wound. “Pray that he comes save you. Or don’t, cause if he comes, we’re gonna kill him too.” Putting the knife away, he searched through Ogre’s pockets until he found his wallet. “Let’s go.”

Ogre dropped to the floor as soon as the man released him. He delivered a hard kick in the middle of the singer’s shoulder blades, making him fall over face first on the pavement. Ogre heard the footsteps and cruel laughter moving away from him. For a few moments, he absolutely could not move, being in too much pain to be able to do anything else other than groan and cry, pressing his hands against the bleeding wound. He hoped someone would hear him and come to his aid, but after the skinheads left, the street fell silent. Ogre removed his hands from his stomach and gasped as he saw how badly he was actually bleeding. Sobbing both in pain and in fear, he slowly began propping himself up against the wall so he could stand up. His legs felt numb as he took careful, erratic steps out of the alleyway. Looking around, he noticed the streets were indeed empty. More tears welled up inside his eyes as his dizziness began to increase. He didn’t feel like he could hang in much longer, but he knew that if he passed out, he would bleed to death. “H-Help...” Ogre tried to scream, but his voice came out in a weak groan. He was doomed: there was no one in sight to help him, he couldn’t use a payphone to call for an ambulance because his wallet had been stolen and he had locked up the only person that could come to his aid. “I-I don’t want to die...” He whispered, not realizing he had said that out loud.

Suddenly, a bright light flashed over him and he looked up to see a car coming down the road. Ogre didn’t think twice before literally throwing himself over the car, which stopped abruptly before hitting him. “Please! Please, help me!” The singer found his voice again as he leaned over the hood and staining it with blood, barely being able to support himself anymore. He heard the muffled sound of loud punk rock music coming from inside the car, and he felt relief wash over him as a group of people with colorful mohawks and long hair jumped out.

“Fuck, are you okay, dude?” A man with long, dark hair and a studded vest grabbed Ogre right as he was about to fall to the floor again. At this point the singer was blabbering incoherently, begging for them to help him and sobbing hard as he felt his consciousness slipping as the minutes passed.

“That goth is bleeding like a pig!” A girl with a pink mohawk yelled, horrified. “He needs to go to the hospital right now, guys!”

“Hey, can you tell us what happened? What’s your name?” A calmer and more collected metalhead tried to talk to Ogre. The mess of colors and sounds didn’t help him keep his focus. He felt himself being lifted up and put into the backseat of the car. Someone took his jacket off and pressed it against the wound in his stomach.

“I... My n-name is Kevin... Kevin Ogilvie.” Ogre tried to piece his words together as he felt his mind slipping further. “I-I was attacked b-by... Nazis... I need help!” A punk guy comforted him as he began crying again. “Please, I-I don’t wanna die!”

“You’ll be okay, dude.” The punk guy tried to reassure him, gently stroking his fluffy hair. “Nazis are fucking scum.”

Ogre couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore, but he felt the car going across the streets at a fast speed. “M-Morgan...” He muttered. “Tell him...”

“Who’s Morgan?” Was the last thing he heard before everything went dark and silent.

@bringmemycocaine

[detailsinmydevils]

Zombie Apocalypse AU (Jessica and Ogre)

“Jess?” Ogre whispered nervously as his trembling hands shook her body in a rough way. He wasn’t sure how she was able to sleep through the commotion happening outside, but he was glad he had stayed awake that night. For once, his sleeping issues had been useful. “Jessica, wake up! We have to go!” He whispered urgently, his chest rising and falling as he panted slightly with fear and adrenaline. As his wife began to finally stir awake, Ogre breathed out relieved. “Go get Ian, we have to leave this house right now. We’ve got no time to pack anything, just get Ian and let’s go. Also, don’t turn on the lights.” The singer barely waited for Jessica to wake up before he began ordering her around. A loud banging sound at the front door made him jump nearly out of his skin. He felt tears burn the inside of his eyes as a low groan was heard. “Oh, God, f-fuck!” Ogre shakily breathed out, terrified. Grabbing Jessica’s hands, he pulled her out of the bed and to her feet as the banging on the door became persistent and more intense. “J-Jess, you’re going to have t-to trust me now. We n-need to be very quiet now. Hold Ian and grab my arm, I-I’m going to lead us out of here. It’s dark as fuck because we can’t turn on the lights so t-they won’t see us.” Before he could even begin explaining who were “them” or what was happening to his very confused wife, Ogre heard the sound of wood beginning to crack. There was no time; they had to leave.

The house had fallen into an unsettling penumbra as Ogre quietly led Jessica and Ian, squinting to try to make out the objects in front of him. As he heard people screaming and sirens outside, he felt his heart hurt. He didn’t really have a safe place to take his family to and he wasn’t sure how the streets were safer than his own house. But with danger right at his door, he had no other options. Fighting the intruder with a kitchen knife would get him killed, as many others would come after them. Now, more than ever, Ogre had to stay alive to protect his family. Right as they got to the kitchen, the singer locked the door behind him just as his front door was blown off the hinges. Wiping the sweat off his hands on his shirt, he firmly held the doorknob, motioning for Jessica to stay silent. They had to hide inside the kitchen and wait until the intruder was further inside the house to they could leave through the front door. He prayed to every higher power that existed that Ian didn’t start crying at that moment. If he did, they would die. Ogre pressed his ear against the door and heard erratic footsteps, along with the same low groan. He could tell the intruder was circling around the living room, looking for a prey. The singer felt his heart sink as the groans got closer to the kitchen. Covering his mouth with one hand, he was able to suppress a gasp in time when the doorknob was forced with an almost inhuman strength and a deafening banging at the door was heard along with angry, frustrated groans. Ogre pressed his body to the door with all his strength, keeping a death grip on the doorknob, as best as his shaky body allowed him to. If felt like an eternity, but the banging eventually ceased and the footsteps were getting distant now.

Ogre’s heart was pounding inside his chest as he tried to hear what was happening on the other side. As everything grew silent enough, he gently unlocked the door, trying not to make a sound. The living room was empty. He took Jessica by the arm and slowly and quietly led her to the front door. As he stepped outside, Ogre began to run for his life, dragging Jessica and Ian with him. The night sky was a weird shade of red that matched the dark blood on the streets. Trying not to get disturbed by that sight, Ogre kept running until he spotted a mass of equally terrified and confused people being led by what seemed like men of the army. He didn’t think twice before following them, even though he was unsure of where that would take him and his family.

@hisdevilcharmer

[detailsinmydevils]

Ogre was able to calm down at least a little when Jessica assured him she was not going to leave him. Losing her was his worst nightmare. “I’m with you, babe, don’t ever forget that. I’m here for you, forever. We can do this together.” Ogre whispered, lovingly kissing her lips. He never thought he would ever love someone as much as he loved her. When Ian came along, his love only grew stronger; they were the most precious thing in his life. He felt that he could withstand anything with them by his side. With Jessica losing the baby, though, he was reminded of how fragile life truly was, of how in a mere moment everything they had fought so hard to build could be completely destroyed and that terrified him. “You didn’t kill the baby, Jess. You did nothing wrong, I’m sure of that.” Ogre reassured her. “It’s just that... I-It’s...” He struggled trying to think of a logical reason to give her, but his mind was a blur and he couldn’t come up with anything. “M-Maybe... Fuck, never mind.” The singe pinched the bridge of his nose, overcome with stress. Maybe his existence was what was wrong. He felt cursed, that was the only explanation he could come up with to everything. He felt like all his life had been one catastrophic event after the other and even though he was doing his best, he would never be able to get out of that vicious circle. He feared he had passed this curse on to Jessica; he always thought of how she deserved more than what he could give her. Ogre didn’t feel like he was enough, or that he had enough power to protect the people he loved the most in his life.

“Do you wanna go to bed? We should go see a doctor tomorrow, to check if everything is okay.” The singer sighed and tried to brush off the darkness that took over his heart. He gently rubbed his thumbs against Jessica’s cheeks, placing a kiss on her forehead. Turning his gaze to the backpack, he became silent for a moment before he spoke again. “W-What should I do with all of that? I think Ian is a bit too old for some of the stuff I got.” Ogre forced out a chuckle, trying to lighten the mood. “Where is he? Is he asleep? I want to see him.”

Jessica fumbled with the tiny baby rattle in her hands. She knew it was probably best to put these things out of sight, but couldn’t bring herself to pack the few toys away. She wondered if she was blaming herself and felt she deserved to have her heart crushed every time she saw them. The young woman had thought of every thing that could have been done differently, counting them over and over in her mind, but still couldn’t find any reason for her miscarriage.

Ogre would finally be back home from the tour in a few hours and Jessica had no idea how she would tell him that their child was dead. It had been impossible to place an overseas call each time she had tried and eventually she realized that the news would only cut short a tour they were depending on. Ogre would have insisted on coming back to her. The miscarriage had happened late at night while she slept, holding his pillow close to her as she had each night he was away. The pain was so intense she had barely been able to reach for the phone to call Patricia. The future she and Ogre was preparing for bled out on the sheets of the bed they shared. Her best friend had done her best to help care for her in the following days but Jessica began refusing her offers to stay the night. She wanted to be alone while her 3 year-old son slept. She needed the darkness to cry and talk to the baby that would never be born. “Mommy and Daddy loved you…. we had so much love to give you….”

Jessica saw the taxi pull up and rushed to the door. He was back. Ogre’s arrival had never made her feel pain before, but thinking of the awful news she had to tell him almost made her wish she had another hour to walk their apartment in silence. She fell into his arms immediately, crying as she pressed her face into his neck. “I… I missed you so much, Kevin… I” Her voice caught in her throat as she saw a backpack full of baby toys. For a second she almost thought she was going to pass out. To blurt out the news was the last thing she had wanted, but, as her husband reached for a small teddy bear with large shiny eyes, she feared her heart would shatter if she didn’t. “Kevin, I have awful news. I’m, I’m s-so sorry but…” Her pale, trembling hands went to her stomach. “I lost the baby. I-I couldn’t get a hold of you and… and… I… I miscarried the baby..” Violent sobbing stole any further words from the young woman’s throat.

@detailsinmydevils

[detailsinmydevils]

Ogre’s entire body felt numb as Jessica led him to sit on the couch. He was thankful for that; he felt as if he stood there a second longer, his legs would give in. Few times he had felt so empty in his entire life. He wrapped his arms around his wife and as she laid her head on his shoulder, he kissed her head, inhaling the scent of her shampoo. Ogre listened quietly as she began speaking. “You know I would have c-come back right away if I knew. Fuck the money, Jess.” The singer angrily said, running a hand over his face in an aggressive gesture, trying to stop his tears from flowing but to no avail. As she began describing the experience of her miscarriage, Ogre felt an intense burning sensation in his chest, as if it were about to explode. He shook his head as he began sobbing again. “Y-You did nothing wrong, you’re the best partner and mother to my kids that I could ever I wish for...” Ogre’s voice cracked as more hot tears streamed down his face. “T-This is bullshit!” He angrily stated. “I-I’m so sorry I made you wait so long... I’m so fucking irresponsible.”

Ogre tried to get his breathing under control as Jessica pulled him tighter, but as she mentioned Ian, he felt his heart breaking all over again. “My boy... I missed him so much. I missed you two so much... I couldn’t stop thinking about you, everyday, anywhere I went. About how I wanted you to be there with me, you, Ian, and...” The rest of his sentence died with a deep, sad sigh. His heart sank as he noticed how Jessica’s last sentence ended. Ogre cupper her chin, gently tilting it up so she would look at him. “I love you so, so much, Jessica.” He whispered as his eyes filled up with tears again. Pressing his lips against hers, he tasted her tears as he kissed her. “Don’t ever forget that.” Ogre began as he broke the kiss. “II don’t know what I would do without you, you’re the love of my life. You and Ian are my everything... Please, don’t leave me. I c-can’t lose you!” His last sentence came out more as a desperate plea as he broke down, sobbing hard, feeling utterly heartbroken.

Jessica fumbled with the tiny baby rattle in her hands. She knew it was probably best to put these things out of sight, but couldn’t bring herself to pack the few toys away. She wondered if she was blaming herself and felt she deserved to have her heart crushed every time she saw them. The young woman had thought of every thing that could have been done differently, counting them over and over in her mind, but still couldn’t find any reason for her miscarriage.

Ogre would finally be back home from the tour in a few hours and Jessica had no idea how she would tell him that their child was dead. It had been impossible to place an overseas call each time she had tried and eventually she realized that the news would only cut short a tour they were depending on. Ogre would have insisted on coming back to her. The miscarriage had happened late at night while she slept, holding his pillow close to her as she had each night he was away. The pain was so intense she had barely been able to reach for the phone to call Patricia. The future she and Ogre was preparing for bled out on the sheets of the bed they shared. Her best friend had done her best to help care for her in the following days but Jessica began refusing her offers to stay the night. She wanted to be alone while her 3 year-old son slept. She needed the darkness to cry and talk to the baby that would never be born. “Mommy and Daddy loved you…. we had so much love to give you….”

Jessica saw the taxi pull up and rushed to the door. He was back. Ogre’s arrival had never made her feel pain before, but thinking of the awful news she had to tell him almost made her wish she had another hour to walk their apartment in silence. She fell into his arms immediately, crying as she pressed her face into his neck. “I… I missed you so much, Kevin… I” Her voice caught in her throat as she saw a backpack full of baby toys. For a second she almost thought she was going to pass out. To blurt out the news was the last thing she had wanted, but, as her husband reached for a small teddy bear with large shiny eyes, she feared her heart would shatter if she didn’t. “Kevin, I have awful news. I’m, I’m s-so sorry but…” Her pale, trembling hands went to her stomach. “I lost the baby. I-I couldn’t get a hold of you and… and… I… I miscarried the baby..” Violent sobbing stole any further words from the young woman’s throat.

@detailsinmydevils

[detailsinmydevils]

"My lover boy? Happy New Year, my handsome! I love you so much!" -tinytinabutterfly

Ogre smiled sweetly down at his girlfriend. “Happy New Year, my love! I love you too.” He said, putting his hands around Tina’s waist to pull her into a passionate kiss.

[detailsinmydevils]

Being in Europe and away from his family became more bearable for Ogre when he thought about how he would come back to each of those incredibly fascinating, historical places again, with his wife and kids. They were always on his mind; whenever he was on stage or exploring places in his rare day offs, all he could think about was how much he missed Jessica, Ian and their upcoming baby, and how he couldn’t wait to travel the world with them one day.

The singer smiled to himself, pressing the teddy bear he had just bought to his chest as he walked back to the tour bus. He thought about how he was spending most of his day offs in toy shops, buying everything he could for the baby. He remembered how it crushed him to walk past toy shops and not be able to afford anything, back when Jessica was pregnant with Ian. It almost felt like he was given a second chance to do everything he wanted to do when he had his first son, but couldn’t. Still, he did everything he could to ensure Ian’s happiness, and watching his little blue eyed boy grow filled his heart with joy. Ogre felt like he was living his best life.

The singer threw himself over the backseat of a taxi and sighed deeply as the driver headed towards his house. Ogre was tired and relieved that a successful tour had finally ended and it felt almost surreal to him that he was back in America, going home. He had worked so hard. Closing his eyes and resting his head against the window, he thought about how Jessica was probably anxiously waiting for him to return. He couldn’t wait to tell her the many stories about the places he had visited and to show her how much stuff he had bought for their baby. It was with those thoughts that he drifted off to sleep.

Ogre woke up to the sound of the driver’s voice, telling him they had reached his destination. The singer hurriedly paid the man and leapt out of the car, rushing to the front door of the house. He barely had time to call out Jessica’s name; as soon as he opened the door, she fell into his arms. Ogre smiled for a second as he pulled her closer, being careful not to hurt the baby, until he noticed she was crying. “Hey, babe... What’s wrong?!” He asked as he set the backpack filled with toy to the floor. Scanning the room, he looked for signs of another possible invasion, but everything seemed fine. He gently broke out of Jessica’s embrace, now scanned her arms for any marks. Everything seemed okay, so why did she look so broken? “I bought all of this for the baby while I was away.” He said, trying to lighten up the mood, picking up the teddy bear from the backpack. As she began to talk again, Ogre stared at her, wide eyed. As her hands went to her stomach, the singer felt his own stomach drop. He began to visibly shake moments before she confirmed his worst fear was true. As Jessica sobbed, he stared down at the teddy bear and his vision became blurry with tears. “N-No...” Ogre covered his mouth to try to muffle his sobs, but it was of no use. The teddy bear fell from his hands as he pulled Jessica into a tight hug. He felt like his whole world was falling apart and he just desperately needed to be held. There was too much going on inside his head, and nothing at the same time. Tears streamed down his face as he shook with sobs, not knowing if they were his own or if they were mixed with Jessica’s violent sobs.

Ogre felt like there was nothing he could say to her in order to make things better. His mind filled up with thoughts of how he should have known something was wrong when she didn’t call him, how he could have tried harder to contact her, how he shouldn’t even have left her alone to go on tour, how he should have tried harder to get her and Ian on tour with him. “I-I’m so s-sorry...I’m so s-sorry...” Ogre choked out as he sobbed, feeling his legs trembling as they tried to support the weight he felt on his shoulders.

Jessica fumbled with the tiny baby rattle in her hands. She knew it was probably best to put these things out of sight, but couldn’t bring herself to pack the few toys away. She wondered if she was blaming herself and felt she deserved to have her heart crushed every time she saw them. The young woman had thought of every thing that could have been done differently, counting them over and over in her mind, but still couldn’t find any reason for her miscarriage.

Ogre would finally be back home from the tour in a few hours and Jessica had no idea how she would tell him that their child was dead. It had been impossible to place an overseas call each time she had tried and eventually she realized that the news would only cut short a tour they were depending on. Ogre would have insisted on coming back to her. The miscarriage had happened late at night while she slept, holding his pillow close to her as she had each night he was away. The pain was so intense she had barely been able to reach for the phone to call Patricia. The future she and Ogre was preparing for bled out on the sheets of the bed they shared. Her best friend had done her best to help care for her in the following days but Jessica began refusing her offers to stay the night. She wanted to be alone while her 3 year-old son slept. She needed the darkness to cry and talk to the baby that would never be born. “Mommy and Daddy loved you…. we had so much love to give you….”

Jessica saw the taxi pull up and rushed to the door. He was back. Ogre’s arrival had never made her feel pain before, but thinking of the awful news she had to tell him almost made her wish she had another hour to walk their apartment in silence. She fell into his arms immediately, crying as she pressed her face into his neck. “I… I missed you so much, Kevin… I” Her voice caught in her throat as she saw a backpack full of baby toys. For a second she almost thought she was going to pass out. To blurt out the news was the last thing she had wanted, but, as her husband reached for a small teddy bear with large shiny eyes, she feared her heart would shatter if she didn’t. “Kevin, I have awful news. I’m, I’m s-so sorry but…” Her pale, trembling hands went to her stomach. “I lost the baby. I-I couldn’t get a hold of you and… and… I… I miscarried the baby..” Violent sobbing stole any further words from the young woman’s throat.

@detailsinmydevils

[detailsinmydevils]

“Happy Birthday, love!” Jessica said as she presented Ogre with a plate of chocolate muffins. “We didn’t have any cake mix but I found a box of muffin mix in the back of the shelf and I think it’s still good....” - Jessica, 80s au

Ogre felthis heart flutter as he looked at Jessica holding a plate of chocolate muffins.“Thank you, my love! They look delicious!” He smiled, moving to passionatelykiss her lips. The singer was so thankful for Jessica being in his life and hewas so proud of the family they were able to build together, even between ups and downs. He never hadanyone in his life that looked after him and cared about him as deeply as shedid, and he felt the same endless love for her. “Let’s eat them, I’m hungry.” Ogrechuckled, taking his girlfriend by the hand and sitting down at the living room’scouch with her. Picking up one of the muffins, he took a bite, letting out asatisfied sound. “It’s so good. Thank you, babe!”

[detailsinmydevils]

Ogre smiled lovingly as he watched Jessica proudly show the pictures she had taken of Skinny Puppy’s last show to her friend. “That’s a great shot, babe. Only thing ruining it is that ugly guy in the center.” He chuckled.

“I love watching my guy perform” Jessica sighed happily as she showed Patricia her latest photos.

@detailsinmydevils

[detailsinmydevils]

[detailsinmydevils]

Ogre appreciated the way Tina was treating him so kindly and carefully when she was also hurt. Admittedly, not as badly as him, but still... The young man was quite surprised, in a positive way. The harsh words he had spoken to her a few hours prior wouldn’t leave his mind, though. He wanted to tell her how sorry he was and how thankful he was for her having saved his life, but being too focused on walking without making his entire body hurt, he couldn’t find the strength to articulate proper sentences. As Tina revealed to him they were going to her house, Ogre tensed up again. “Uh, I... I don’t wanna bother anyone!” He said, his voice cracking a bit, but then again, he had no other choice than to accept Tina’s help. What would he do if she left him in that state?! He couldn’t even walk back to his own house, let alone face his father’s certain anger. Maybe Tina’s family was a bit more understanding and supportive than his. Ogre realized with sadness he didn’t know a thing about the girl’s life, apart from the fact she was bullied like him. There were some rumors floating around the school about her reputation and private life, but the young man never thought much of them because he honestly didn’t care. But seeing how Tina was so compassionate to him, he started to believe the rumors were false.

Ogre frowned every time Tina coughed, certainly due to the pain in her throat. He pressed his lips together, lowering his head as she gave him a quick answer and changed the subject. “I-I’m sorry.” He stuttered nervously, speaking in a quiet voice. He didn’t want to anger her and he could understand her reaction, since he didn’t like talking about the bullying he suffered as well. Soon, they arrived at her house and Ogre marveled at how beautiful it looked even from the outside. It was certainly very different from his own home. Feeling shame strike him again, he spoke. “Listen, I really don’t want to bother-” The young man began, but was cut off by Tina’s words. He relaxed a bit knowing no one was home. The inside of her house was as beautiful as the outside, but Ogre could barely focus on that as he winced at the sharp pains that shot through his ribs as they went up the stairs. He breathed out relieved as Tina helped him sit on the comfortable bed. “Thank you.” Ogre tried to smile at her through his pain as she left the room. The young man carefully took off his black jeans jacket that was soaked in gasoline, sighing sadly as he threw it on the floor. Lifting up his tank top, he hissed as he saw the blossoming dark bruise over his ribs and prayed they weren’t broken. He wondered if his father would even take him to the hospital if that was the case, or if that whole stress was really worth it. He would probably yell at him the whole way to the hospital and back. Ogre mindlessly stroked a fading bruise on his arm, one that his father had left there. It didn’t help how he was also too pale and bruised easily, but with long sleeves no one noticed anything... Ever.

High School AU (Ogre and Tina)

[detailsinmydevils]

Being too overcome by exhaustion, Ogre sat there on the pavement, bracing himself while he cried desperately. His confused mind still raced as he thought about what he should do next. He wanted to get the hell out of there before Alan regained consciousness. Maybe he would kill them both after what happened, even though the bully hadn’t seen Tina before she knocked him out. Ogre had almost forgotten Tina was even still there, when she rested a gentle hand on his shoulder. The soothing way she spoke to him made him feel more relieved. Still, the young man tried to flinch away from her touch, but his body didn’t respond to his will and he stood there, accepting the hand on his shoulder. Ogre felt his face flush and a new feeling arose inside him: embarrassment. He was embarrassed Tina was seeing him in that terrible state, beaten up and crying like a wounded helpless puppy. But most of all, he was embarrassed at the way he had previously treated her. Who knew she would have been the one to save his life.

Unable to react much, Ogre let Tina lift him up and he was surprised at how gentle she was with him. The young man couldn’t remember the last time he had been treated so kindly. He still winced as they began walking, the sudden movements making his injuries hurt. “I-It’s okay.” He reassured Tina that it wasn’t anything she was doing wrong and kept walking with her, gladly accepting her support. When she said he was going to take him to a safe place, Ogre frowned, confused and a bit alarmed at the fact he didn’t know where she was taking him. “Where?” He whispered, but something in his intuition told him to trust the girl. After a few minutes walking in silence and biting back every moan of pain, Ogre spoke again. “H-Hey, Christina... Are you okay? Y-Your neck...” He quietly asked, hoping she wouldn’t be offended by him asking about the bruises and just throw him on the pavement.

High School AU (Ogre and Tina)

Ogre nervously tapped the end of his pen on his notebook as he impatiently glanced over to the clock on the wall. Just one more minute, and that class would be over for lunch break. He had given up focusing on what the teacher was saying a long time ago; not that he was able to really understand anything, no matter how hard he tried. He had always been bad with numbers. It was especially hard for him to focus on that day as he was battling sleepiness, since he hadn’t been able to sleep well that night. Things were as bad at home as they were in school. Ogre rubbed his tired eyes as he tried not to think about… Everything. He was startled by something hitting the back of his head and glanced down to see a paper ball on the floor. He sighed, rolling his eyes and turned around. The group of jocks tried to muffle their laughter as one of them presumably the one who had thrown the ball, made an offensive gesture. Ogre looked back at the teacher, ready to complain, but as usual that worthless hag hadn’t seen what had just happened, being too focused on writing absences and marks down.

The young man sunk into his chair and was slightly startled again when the alarm went off. A sea of kids rushed in a wave past his table, running to the door much like inmates being released. Ogre stayed in his seat, waiting for everyone to leave the classroom. Suddenly, someone bumped hard against his table, making all of his stuff fall to the floor. The young man clicked his tongue, trying to calm his anger down, as he reached down to pick everything up. Another jock kicked his notebook across the classroom, as the others laughed. Ogre heard the word “freak” being muttered as he walked to pick up the notebook. When the class was finally empty, he let out a relieved sigh, sinking back into his chair. Grabbing a sandwich and a carton of orange juice from his bag, he turned his attention the notebook opened in front of him. He had been stuck in a piece of poetry he had been writing in that class. For some reason, the words wouldn’t flow. Ogre sighed tiredly, taking a sip from his juice. He sometimes brought food from home, when he wasn’t feeling like being pestered by jocks in the cafeteria.

Only then, he noticed he wasn’t completely alone in the classroom. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a girl sitting a few chairs behind him. Not only that; he could feel her eyes on him. She was staring at him. Ogre took a deep breath as he tried to ignore her. He hated not being alone during lunch break. With people around, he couldn’t focus on his poetry, always fearing someone would try to read it. The contents weren’t really that bad; he was just scared he was going to be even more tormented if everyone found out the weird goth kid also wrote edgy poetry. He tried once again to focus on the notebook in front of him, but the girl’s eyes were almost burning him. Who was her, again?… Oh, Christina! That was probably her name, he thought. Whoever she was, she was still a normie, worlds apart from him. When Ogre finally had enough, he spun around in his chair in a quick, aggressive movement. “Aren’t you g-going to leave?!” He angrily said, becoming even more pissed when his stutter didn’t help him sound more confident.

@tinytinabutterfly

[detailsinmydevils]

Ogre had shut his eyes in fear and refused to open them. He felt his whole body tensing up to the point he was numb and unable to react. The strong smell of gasoline was suffocating him and no matter how much he wanted to scream and beg Alan not to kill him, his jaw was clenched and the metallic taste of blood filled his mouth. He waited for the flames to engulf him and he wondered how long that would take, if it would feel scalding hot or if it would even hurt. Maybe dying that way would be quicker than he thought. He just hoped it would be painless. Either way, it would be the end of a life of misery and suffering, even though the young man still wanted badly to live.

It was only when Ogre heard a thud near him that he was able to open his eyes. He gasped, choking a bit on the blood inside his mouth when he saw Alan lying by his side, unconscious. Spitting up blood and frowning in confusion, it took him a while to understand what had happened and to finally notice Tina standing by, holding a piece of wood and looking down at him. At that sight, Ogre felt panic rise back inside him. He fearfully crawled backwards and away from the girl. “S-Stay away from m-me!” He exclaimed in a high pitched voice, feeling his whole body trembling in fear. The young man tried to get up and run away, but his legs were shaking too much and gave in after two steps. He looked back at Tina, and only then he realized she wasn’t a threat; even more than that, she had saved his life.

The tears finally came after the shock began to fade. Ogre, who was on his knees, sobbed hard as he thought about how he had just almost died. He couldn’t understand what he had ever done to be hated so much to the point someone would try to murder him in such a brutal way, but then again, he had never felt like he was loved in his whole life. Pain came next and the adrenaline faded and he almost threw up again due to the pain of the hard kicks he had received, mostly to his ribs and stomach. As Ogre moved to try to wipe the blood from his face with the sleeve of his jacket, he noticed he was still drenched in gasoline as the cut on his eyebrow stung, making him flinch. More tears welled up inside his eyes. “D-Dad’s gonna kill me...” He muttered to himself, his mind racing to try to come up with something to tell his father. The relationship between them was far from good and Ogre knew he would never believe a classmate had tried to set him on fire and would find a way to blame him for something that wasn’t even his fault.

High School AU (Ogre and Tina)

Ogre nervously tapped the end of his pen on his notebook as he impatiently glanced over to the clock on the wall. Just one more minute, and that class would be over for lunch break. He had given up focusing on what the teacher was saying a long time ago; not that he was able to really understand anything, no matter how hard he tried. He had always been bad with numbers. It was especially hard for him to focus on that day as he was battling sleepiness, since he hadn’t been able to sleep well that night. Things were as bad at home as they were in school. Ogre rubbed his tired eyes as he tried not to think about… Everything. He was startled by something hitting the back of his head and glanced down to see a paper ball on the floor. He sighed, rolling his eyes and turned around. The group of jocks tried to muffle their laughter as one of them presumably the one who had thrown the ball, made an offensive gesture. Ogre looked back at the teacher, ready to complain, but as usual that worthless hag hadn’t seen what had just happened, being too focused on writing absences and marks down.

The young man sunk into his chair and was slightly startled again when the alarm went off. A sea of kids rushed in a wave past his table, running to the door much like inmates being released. Ogre stayed in his seat, waiting for everyone to leave the classroom. Suddenly, someone bumped hard against his table, making all of his stuff fall to the floor. The young man clicked his tongue, trying to calm his anger down, as he reached down to pick everything up. Another jock kicked his notebook across the classroom, as the others laughed. Ogre heard the word “freak” being muttered as he walked to pick up the notebook. When the class was finally empty, he let out a relieved sigh, sinking back into his chair. Grabbing a sandwich and a carton of orange juice from his bag, he turned his attention the notebook opened in front of him. He had been stuck in a piece of poetry he had been writing in that class. For some reason, the words wouldn’t flow. Ogre sighed tiredly, taking a sip from his juice. He sometimes brought food from home, when he wasn’t feeling like being pestered by jocks in the cafeteria.

Only then, he noticed he wasn’t completely alone in the classroom. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a girl sitting a few chairs behind him. Not only that; he could feel her eyes on him. She was staring at him. Ogre took a deep breath as he tried to ignore her. He hated not being alone during lunch break. With people around, he couldn’t focus on his poetry, always fearing someone would try to read it. The contents weren’t really that bad; he was just scared he was going to be even more tormented if everyone found out the weird goth kid also wrote edgy poetry. He tried once again to focus on the notebook in front of him, but the girl’s eyes were almost burning him. Who was her, again?… Oh, Christina! That was probably her name, he thought. Whoever she was, she was still a normie, worlds apart from him. When Ogre finally had enough, he spun around in his chair in a quick, aggressive movement. “Aren’t you g-going to leave?!” He angrily said, becoming even more pissed when his stutter didn’t help him sound more confident.

@tinytinabutterfly

[detailsinmydevils]

Ogre walked quickly to the venue, desperately trying not to think about Matthew and Jessica and how he was probably kissing her one last time before he had to go. The more the singer tried to shove that thought away, the more vivid it became. He wanted that, he wanted that so badly. Lately, it was everything he could think about and he had never felt more alone. If at first he thought it was the jealousy one feels when their friend is leaving them for a girl, now he clearly knew that was not the case. He wanted to be in Jessica’s place, feel everything that she felt, all the kisses and loving caresses and the sex... As a very angry Cevin came into his view, Ogre’s thoughts vanished.

“Ogre, where the fuck were you?! You’re late as fuck, we’re not gonna have time to-“

“Sorry, I’m here now.” The singer mumbled, walking right past the keyboardist and forcing out a friendly smile to Justin before he stepped on the stage. Putting on his ear buds, he moved to turn on his microphone and amp. Ogre’s heart fluttered painfully as Matthew stepped on stage with him. He smiled to him just as he did to Justin, but maybe it came out a bit wider than he intended. It was getting particularly hard for Ogre to hide his attraction to Matthew and the singer generally tried to pass off his flirting for on stage playfulness. It was the only time he got with him those days. But the guitarist was starting to get it, it seemed. Ogre felt his heart breaking when he toyed a bit with his guitar strap, like he would always do, only to be met by Matthew’s confused blinking. The guitarist no longer smiled warmly at him like in the other times. Ogre just wanted to vanish at that moment. He counted the seconds for sound check to end, barely being able to focus on it with so much going on inside his head.

The singer breathed out relieved when it was finally over. As he was about to hop off the stage, he saw Cevin approaching him again. “Can we talk? I-“

“Later.” Ogre muttered, walking away from his confused band mate. The last thing he wanted at that time was to talk to anyone. The raven-haired man walked towards the bus again, hoping he could get some time alone and hopefully rest before the show. He had forgotten Jessica was in there, until he opened the door and met her at the stairs. Ogre rolled his eyes, walking quickly past her in order to avoid her, especially because he could tell she was drunk. He still heard what she said, very loud and clear, although slurry. The singer stopped in his tracks a bit, feeling suddenly sick to his stomach. She couldn’t know, she had to be lying. She was only doing that to get on his nerves, he thought. “Give me a fucking break, Jessica.” Ogre barked as he stormed into the bus, going to his bunk bed and slamming the corridor door shut.

Throwing himself on the bed, Ogre cried softly with a pillow pressed against his face. He didn’t know how long he stood there, feeling his whole body aching and tired, but he was almost falling asleep when he heard a commotion going on the other side of the door. The singer got up and decided to check it out. He had barely opened the door when Matthew began spitting furious accusations at him. “What the fuck are you talking-” Ogre began, but went silent, as he processed everything. It seemed like drunken Jessica had somehow hurt herself and this was somehow his fault and Matthew was furious with him. Ogre was taken aback by the way the guitarist spoke to him; he had never heard him talk like. The singer felt like he wanted to cry again, but as his gaze shifted to Jessica, that feeling vanished, being replaced by a bubbling anger that coursed through his veins.

“Listen,” Ogre began, crossing his arms over his chest as he tried to get a hold of himself and not explode right there at the amount of bullshit all of that was. “I don’t know what happened, but I didn’t push Jessica off the stairs. I wasn’t there when she fell and if I were, I would have helped her. I-It’s even insulting to me, Matthew, that you would ever believe I would do something like that to anyone, especially your girlfriend. You f-fucking know me!” The singer’s voice cracked a bit and he felt his hands begin to shake. “You know me even better than you know her! Who do you trust more, your friend and band mate of years or your fuck-hole lying cunt of a girlfriend?!” As soon as the words left his mouth, Ogre knew he had lost it. He stomped towards the couch they were sitting in, slamming his fist on the table in which Jessica’s leg rested. “Okay, let’s sort this out.” He began, leaning down to look at the young woman’s eyes. “I don’t fucking like you, Jessica. I never did, I only respected you because you’re Matthew girlfriend, and I put up with you getting on my nerves every single tour because of him. But since you’re gonna start talking shit and lying about me, I don’t think I have to do that anymore.” Ogre’s chest was rising and falling as adrenaline pumped through his veins. He pointed a finger at Jessica’s face. “Don’t ever talk shit about me again, don’t ever fucking talk to me again or I’ll make sure next time you fall down the stairs you break your fucking little neck!”

Three’s a crowd

Jessica honestly had no complaints about her relationship. Matthew had been nothing but wonderful to her since they first stared dating. He was loving, supportive, and always made her feel wanted. The almost constant touring could be a little difficult, with city after city starting to blend together, but as long she got to be with him, she could handle it. The only issue, if you could call it that, was Matthew’s bandmate - Ogre.

At first Jessica thought that Ogre had turned cool to her due to his breakup. Seeing a happy couple every day could be hurtful during such a painful time and she understood that. Purposely cutting down on displays of affection didn’t help, though, and only seemed to serve to make Ogre more clingy toward his guitarist. “You know”, Jessica began as she and Matthew lay in bed the night before the latest tour began, “sometimes I think Ogre has a crush on you!” The comment seemed funny but there was a degree of seriousness behind it. “I mean he’s constantly hanging around you more than the other guys and what about the way he acts on stage with you? Isn’t that just a little weird to you?” What Jessica didn’t mention, fearing it might damage Matthew’s friendship with the industrial singer, was that she found the way Ogre treated her to be increasingly hurtful. He barely said two words to her now days and tried to avoid her at all costs. She couldn’t think of a single thing she’d done to deserve that behavior.

The night of the first date on the Skinny Puppy tour found Jessica sitting on her boyfriend’s lap. “Are you nervous?” she asked, raising a hand to play with his hair. She heard someone enter the room of the tour bus and knew instantly who it was. All the band and crew always said “hi” to the couple as they entered the room - all except one. “Are you having a problem with your costume?” Jessica asked Ogre, looking to the man who was increasingly getting on her nerves. “What’s a matter? Can’t find your tail?”

@detailsinmydevils @guitaristatskinnypuppy

[detailsinmydevils]

Ogre felt darkness and silence envelop him for what seemed like one second, and then in the next second he felt a blinding light burn his eyes through his closed eyelids. The air around him suddenly didn’t feel hot and suffocating anymore and he could even feel a slight cool breeze brush against his skin as his whole body relaxed. Dying felt way more peaceful than he had imagined. The singer knew something was off, though, when he heard a muffled familiar voice. He frowned as he recognized it; it was Jessica. How was it possible that she was there with him too? Had she... Died?

Her voice suddenly became crisp and clear and Ogre felt as if he had been ripped out of the void. His eyes shot open and his body jerked violently as he gasped sharply. The singer blinked a few times trying to adjust his eyes to the bright daylight. Scanning his surroundings, he saw that he was laying in what seemed like the backyard of a house falling apart. His stomach dropped as he noticed he recognized the house and he felt like throwing up when he realized Jessica was by his side. He had survived, or better yet; she had saved him.

Ogre half pulled his wife into an awkward hug with his tied hands and half collapsed on her lap. He sobbed painfully, his body shaking as he did so. “I... I was going t-to... Die...” He was so dehydrated that his eyes couldn’t even produce tears anymore and his throat and mouth felt like sandpaper. The singer didn’t know if his body was shaking because of how cold he felt or due to the intense fear that still pulsed through his veins. Ogre finally slightly pulled away from Jessica to look at her face. It was stained with tears and dirt and he reached out to stroke her cheek. He sobbed more as he frantically began kissing her face and neck as if that was the last time he would be able to do that. Inhaling her scent that he loved so much, Ogre buried his face into her chest. “J-Jess, I wanna go h-home... P-Please...” The young man couldn’t think of a moment in his life that he sounded so broken and terrified. He also knew Jessica wouldn’t be able to untie him if he kept holding onto her like that, but he clinged to the young woman as if his life depended on it. And in a way, it did.

Buried Alive (Jessica and Ogre/80s AU)

Ogre suddenly jolted awake, making his forehead hit against a hard surface as he gasped in horror. He didn’t know why, but the feeling of fear was almost smothering him. The singer looked around; or rather, tried to. His surroundings were pitch black and the air around him was hot. When he tried lifting up his hand in front of his face, trying to adjust his eyes to the darkness, he realized his wrists were tied tightly in front of him. As he attempted to move his legs, he noticed his ankles had also been tied. A frightened groan left Ogre’s lips as he fruitlessly began struggling against his bonds. He didn’t understand why he had been tied up or even where exactly he was. After a few moments, realizing he couldn’t break free, Ogre settled down, panting from adrenaline and effort. The singer closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to recollect his thoughts, very much against his throbbing headache. The last thing he remembered was being in his apartment, taking care of Ian while Jessica was out running errands. The afternoon was hot, but calm. He remembered he was playing with his son, when a loud bang in the living room startled him. He placed Ian back into his crib and closed the door before going to check out what it was. Ogre barely had time to react when two men ran to him and slammed him up against a wall.

“For the last time, are you going to pay us or not?!” The man who had him pinned against the wall barked, tightening his grip around his throat.

Ogre felt his stomach drop. He knew who they were. “I fucking told you, I’ll have the money after the tour!” He tried struggling against the man’s grip, but it was useless.

“Forget it, that fucking faggot won’t pay us back.” The other man bitterly said.

“I-I said I will, I-” The singer began, but he was interrupted.

“Hope your family won’t miss you much, kid.” As the man hit him on the temple with a hard object, Ogre’s world went dark.

The singer’s eyes shot back open as he resumed his struggle. He had to get back to Jessica and Ian; he didn’t know what had happened to them. Only then, Ogre seemed to realize his surroundings were not only dark and hot, but also incredibly tight. And deadly quiet, save for the accelerated heartbeat in his eardrums. Fumbling with his pockets, Ogre pulled out his lighter, flicking it on. “Shit…” He muttered. It looked like he had been locked inside… A box? He frowned, then spotting a bit of dirt covering his clothes. Everything went dark again as Ogre dropped his lighter, shrieking in horror. “SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HERE!” He yelled, thrashing violently and banging on the lid as best as he could with his tied hands. “HELP! HELP ME!” Tears began streaming down his face as panic settled in. With his imminent, horrible death, his family would never see him again.

[detailsinmydevils]

“Fuck!” A hoarse yell came out of Ogre’s lips as he broke into frustrated and terrified sobs. Even as he felt his hurting body going limp due to the exhaustion of thrashing around for what seemed to him like hours, his breath was still coming out in short, quick gasps, as he was not being able to get it under control. At that point, he didn’t couldn’t even tell if he was sobbing or hyperventillating. He tried not to think about how that box felt hotter and more suffocating with each minute that passed. Part of his confused mind refused to believe he was going to die that way. Ogre tried to focus on how his knuckles hurt from punching and slamming against the hard wooden lid and on the stinging pain of the tight rope digging into his wrists, which he imagined were bleeding by that point, his blood mixing up with his sweat. The singer cleared his aching throat, feeling the faint metallic taste of blood in his mouth. He had screamed for so long his head began to hurt due to the sound of his deafening screams echoing inside the box. “P-Please...” Ogre murmured almost incoherently as his fingertips traced the wood.

He had thought of the possibility of escaping only for the crushing dirt to fall on top of him, killing him. He honestly didn’t know if it was an even worse way to die. It terrified Ogre to think about how maybe his body would never be found, but he also hoped for that to happen. It hurt him to think about Jessica learning how much he had suffered before he died and how his corpse had been found with signs of a violent fight for life, his mouth perpetually agape in a last desperate breath for air and his face contorted in an expression of pain and horror. At least the drug dealers would finally leave him family alone. Ogre could accept his horrible death if that meant Jessica and Ian would never be hurt again. Tears welled up inside his eyes as he remembered the night he had arrived home to the sight of his wife beaten and tied up. Ogre never forgived himself for that. “I-I’m so sorry, J-Jess... I love you.” He whispered into the nothingness, mindlessly stroking the wood of his coffin. “I... Tell Ian that daddy loves h-him so much.” Ogre broke down sobbing again as he thought about his son and about how badly he wanted to see him grow. God knows he tried to be the best father and husband he could. But maybe that life had never been for him and his destiny was truly being a worthless human being and dying horribly to pay for all his sins.

Ogre felt his consciousness slipping and fought not to pass out. He knew if he did so, it would be a matter of time until he finally died due to the lack of oxygen. He barely realized it, but he had tilted his head up trying to get more air and was now taking deep breaths. “I.... I don’t wanna die... P-please, I don’t wanna die...” The young man mumbled in between sharp gasps as he felt his chest tighten considerably. When he felt like he was passing out again, he was suddenly startled by the sound of something moving on top of him. At first, he thought he was hallucinating, but as he heard the sound again his eyes shot open with a sudden rush of adrenaline. “H-Hello?” Ogre tried calling out, but his voice was long gone. “Is somebody there?! Please... I’m in here... Let me out...” He tried banging on the lid as well, but his body was too weak as he faintly knocked on the wood. “H-Help...” Ogre whispered as he felt his eyes closing against his will and his hands falling limp.

Buried Alive (Jessica and Ogre/80s AU)

Ogre suddenly jolted awake, making his forehead hit against a hard surface as he gasped in horror. He didn’t know why, but the feeling of fear was almost smothering him. The singer looked around; or rather, tried to. His surroundings were pitch black and the air around him was hot. When he tried lifting up his hand in front of his face, trying to adjust his eyes to the darkness, he realized his wrists were tied tightly in front of him. As he attempted to move his legs, he noticed his ankles had also been tied. A frightened groan left Ogre’s lips as he fruitlessly began struggling against his bonds. He didn’t understand why he had been tied up or even where exactly he was. After a few moments, realizing he couldn’t break free, Ogre settled down, panting from adrenaline and effort. The singer closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to recollect his thoughts, very much against his throbbing headache. The last thing he remembered was being in his apartment, taking care of Ian while Jessica was out running errands. The afternoon was hot, but calm. He remembered he was playing with his son, when a loud bang in the living room startled him. He placed Ian back into his crib and closed the door before going to check out what it was. Ogre barely had time to react when two men ran to him and slammed him up against a wall.

“For the last time, are you going to pay us or not?!” The man who had him pinned against the wall barked, tightening his grip around his throat.

Ogre felt his stomach drop. He knew who they were. “I fucking told you, I’ll have the money after the tour!” He tried struggling against the man’s grip, but it was useless.

“Forget it, that fucking faggot won’t pay us back.” The other man bitterly said.

“I-I said I will, I-” The singer began, but he was interrupted.

“Hope your family won’t miss you much, kid.” As the man hit him on the temple with a hard object, Ogre’s world went dark.

The singer’s eyes shot back open as he resumed his struggle. He had to get back to Jessica and Ian; he didn’t know what had happened to them. Only then, Ogre seemed to realize his surroundings were not only dark and hot, but also incredibly tight. And deadly quiet, save for the accelerated heartbeat in his eardrums. Fumbling with his pockets, Ogre pulled out his lighter, flicking it on. “Shit…” He muttered. It looked like he had been locked inside… A box? He frowned, then spotting a bit of dirt covering his clothes. Everything went dark again as Ogre dropped his lighter, shrieking in horror. “SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HERE!” He yelled, thrashing violently and banging on the lid as best as he could with his tied hands. “HELP! HELP ME!” Tears began streaming down his face as panic settled in. With his imminent, horrible death, his family would never see him again.

[detailsinmydevils]

Ogre had always enjoyed going out alone for walks in every city they stopped by during tours. It had become almost a ritual he had to do before every show; it reduced his stress and helped him clear off his mind. He had learned to treasure moments like that, of exploring a new city and taking everything in, ever since he left Vancouver for the first ever Skinny Puppy tour. He remembered how touring the United States felt like a dream for a young Canadian who never thought he would ever leave his home town. Sometimes Ogre couldn’t believe how far he had made as a musician. He never thought he would live past his thirties, let alone still tour and make music at 50 years old.

But that day, his ritual wasn’t making him feel more at ease. If anything, he was starting to feel more unnerved as the tour went by. Not even the beautiful sunset in front of hm could take his mind off his problems. Ogre took a deep breath as he felt his phone buzzing inside his pocket. He ignored it for the third time. Cevin would kill him when he showed up for soundcheck later. But the singer just wanted to be alone at that time and try to ease his heart ache.

It hurt him deeply to admit to himself he was indeed in love with Matthew. He missed him terribly with every tour that ended, and after his recent break up, the singer tended to feel a bit more lonely every time he returned home. Ogre blamed himself for letting the strong friendship both had built turn into romantic feelings he couldn’t escape from. He loved him so much; he loved those striking green eyes and that gorgeous smile and his heart of gold and youthful spirit and how Matthew had always been there for him. At his age, Ogre never thought he would feel such a strong connection with anyone anymore in his life, but Matthew came along and proved him wrong. The singer was so scared of his own feelings, though; he had really bad experiences with men in the past, from rejection to an abusive relationship. He couldn’t see how with his guitarrist it would be any different. And after breaking up with his last girlfriend, Ogre felt like he couldn’t go through another heartbreak anymore. But somewhere deep in him, he had hopes that Matthew would prove him wrong again.

All his hope vanished when he got the news Matthew had begun dating Jessica. Ogre tried his best not to hate her at first; she had nothing to do with his own feelings. But as they grew closer and the relationship became more solid, Ogre felt his jealousy seeping through the cracks. It already hurt him every time the couple displayed public affection, but what hurt him the most was the feeling that Matthew was drifting away from him. Ogre could see Jessica slowly, but surely begin to fill up a space that perviously belonged to him. He sometimes thought she even took pride in that, in having Matthew’s rare attention during busy tours all to herself. Ogre tried to make the most out of the time that was left for him and the guitarrist, that is, on stage. But soon, that wasn’t enough anymore to him. 

With a fourth call from Cevin, Ogre decided to head back to the tour bus. He took a deep breath, trying to shake off the dark feelings that settled on his chest and greeted every vrew member as best as he could. But as he opened the door to the bus, he was greeted with the sight of Jessica sitting on top of Matthew’s lap. His blood boiled inside his veins. It took everything within Ogre’s power not to reply to Jessica’s remark with the snarky sarcasm that he forcefully gulped down. “Matthew. Soundcheck. Let’s go.” Ogre’s deep voice seemed to boom inside the tour bus. The singer spun arond and left, trying to to slam the door shut with his shaky hands. Biting down into his lip, he did his best to control his anger as he headed to the back of the venue.

Three’s a crowd

Jessica honestly had no complaints about her relationship. Matthew had been nothing but wonderful to her since they first stared dating. He was loving, supportive, and always made her feel wanted. The almost constant touring could be a little difficult, with city after city starting to blend together, but as long she got to be with him, she could handle it. The only issue, if you could call it that, was Matthew’s bandmate - Ogre.

At first Jessica thought that Ogre had turned cool to her due to his breakup. Seeing a happy couple every day could be hurtful during such a painful time and she understood that. Purposely cutting down on displays of affection didn’t help, though, and only seemed to serve to make Ogre more clingy toward his guitarist. “You know”, Jessica began as she and Matthew lay in bed the night before the latest tour began, “sometimes I think Ogre has a crush on you!” The comment seemed funny but there was a degree of seriousness behind it. “I mean he’s constantly hanging around you more than the other guys and what about the way he acts on stage with you? Isn’t that just a little weird to you?” What Jessica didn’t mention, fearing it might damage Matthew’s friendship with the industrial singer, was that she found the way Ogre treated her to be increasingly hurtful. He barely said two words to her now days and tried to avoid her at all costs. She couldn’t think of a single thing she’d done to deserve that behavior.

The night of the first date on the Skinny Puppy tour found Jessica sitting on her boyfriend’s lap. “Are you nervous?” she asked, raising a hand to play with his hair. She heard someone enter the room of the tour bus and knew instantly who it was. All the band and crew always said “hi” to the couple as they entered the room - all except one. “Are you having a problem with your costume?” Jessica asked Ogre, looking to the man who was increasingly getting on her nerves. “What’s a matter? Can’t find your tail?”

@detailsinmydevils @guitaristatskinnypuppy