detectiveprowler

[detectiveprowler]

[detectiveprowler]

people will be like "i'm bored" meanwhile there's baking soda and vinegar in the cupboard. make a volcano dude

[detectiveprowler]

ai generating my suicide note cause I couldn't think of anything

[detectiveprowler]

get a rat infestation to enrich your indoor cat.

[detectiveprowler]

here is some of David Lynch’s art that i quite like 

[detectiveprowler]

breakfast today was a can of pedigree dog food, 6 shots of espresso, and a tylehnol. lunch will consist of beads and straw

[detectiveprowler]

if i was on the lam and they were combing the woods for me i'd just scatter a heap of $20 bills around for the search party to find. change the narrative

[detectiveprowler]

i was always discriminatorily called last in school whenever the alphabetical order was invoked.

T is basically the last great letter before the alphabet completely goes off the rails

[detectiveprowler]

this makes perfect sense! look at it! this is how it happened!

[detectiveprowler]

i am not capable of blogging without malice

[detectiveprowler]

i need to get an STD so that no one wants to have sex with me, but i would need to have sex to achieve this.

are yeast infections contagious?

[detectiveprowler]

if i'm honest with myself i don't know why bodies don't decompose in a bog. i would have thought they'd have been straight off in there. but actually they're fine

[detectiveprowler]

we need to stop typing shit and find food

[detectiveprowler]

now son don't ye tellenny one i told ye this cause i love ye an i dont wanna git the govment involved but i swear seen our mama barn cat nursin her kittens and done watched all six a the little ones fade away inta nothingness at the same time within halfa minute. alum- gone, turned clear rightin fronta ma eyes. n the mama didnt even notice she just kept a lickin the air where one ums head was wither eyes closed i heard er purrin. n wen i looked up at the trees i saw a popalation divaded, musta been every damn bird in da county was there, half um lookin raght at me, otha half peering down at the mama. non um breaking their gaze. non um movin.. damn it kid whered ya go this is importent.

[detectiveprowler]

the google search results for 'creepy' dont scare me anymore :(

[detectiveprowler]

U live in the same world as Breakfast

[detectiveprowler]

id really like to know what dogs dream about; it's probably funny.