devastated-muse-blog

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Habit.

I used to have this habit where I love to sit in the car. Just to calm myself.

I sit in the car whenever I want – After I got back from school When I argued with my parents When I bought new album When I was confused When I feel sad When I’m on the edge of crying When I wanted to think

I got into the car Turn on the radio Or insert the CD

Then I will sing my heart out Or close my eyes and pray things will get better. Now that I’ve mentioned the habit. I realise that it comes back.

I want to sit in my car now for some reasons Well, I did.

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What the fuck, bitch !

Why the hell tho you are behaving like that.

You have been stronger than ever. You learnt, you have moved on.

Forget about them, they left you under the bridge. They make you look pathetic 

Why would you still be petty about it ? I thought we have agree on be success ? 

be on top of the world and look fabulous ? you always dreamed of being almost perfect in order for you to help others, so that people will remember you. So that you won’t fade away. So that you, will stay you.

You have made mistakes, people do not get you anymore, they do not think you are relevant. And why are you still there ? at the same zone ? STEP OUT ! MOVE BITCH. PEOPLE DO NOT WANT YOU ANYMORE. THEY HATE YOU, THEY DO NOT APPRECIATE YOU ANYMORE, YOU BECAME NOTHING BUT A NUISANCE.

You never did anything to them anyways, it always them who brought you anywhere, it always them who spend on you, it always them who listens to, it always them who babysit you. You are no longer exist and needed. pack your back and go home. 

THEY ARE ANGEL, THEY NEVER DO MISTAKES.

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I can’t take this feeling anymore.

J.T. Barnett (via jtbarnett)

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shut up, biatch.

She shut me out. 

I get it now.

I won’t bother you anymore. Live your life to the fullest.

Don’t worry. it’s not your fault.

it was never your fault. you can never be wrong. 

You always right. It was my fault my fucking fault.

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It’s not like it was before.

J.T. Barnett (via jtbarnett)

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I admit, I was wrong, I AM WRONG.

for talking behind your backs when i knew you talked behind my back.

then I am angry knowing that you guys talking behind my back.

I have no right to do that.

Well at least I give you reason. My reason why I did such things.

YOU GUYS ? WHY ?

What is it that I do wrong?

Is it because I’m in love ? so you think being in love made me pathetic ? love makes me become a bad person?

It’s soo not fair, you all told me about your dream wedding. 

You wanted your love story to be rainbow and fairy-tale happily ever after.

You guys approve your own love story.

Not me. You don’t want me to be in love.

“ Aku nak semua kawan2 aku happy ( I want all of my friends to be happy) “ you said.

but then , your action said “ Kau boleh happy, eh tak bukan dengan dia ( you can be happy, but no not with him “

IT IS JUST NOT FAIR.

I thought you know me, you understand me friend.

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I always ask this kind of question to myself.

“Why won’t he fall in love with me”

Cause I am deeply in love with him,up to the second I write this.

I always ask myself “ am I really love him? “

after I filtered everything, I still choose to love him.

Is it me ? am I the problem? 

What is the thing I lack at ?

I learnt that sometimes, love is not enough.

You cannot just offer your love and expect the same in return.

cause some people just do not know how to appreciate it.

but then,

I still love him.

[devastated-muse-blog]

The bed itself is an operating table where my dreams slice me to pieces.

Anne Sexton, from “The Lost Lie” featured in The Complete Poems (via watchoutforintellect)

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The longer you have to wait for something, the more you will appreciate it when it finally arrives.

(via motivated-mindset)

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When she is happy, she can’t stop talking, when she is sad she doesn’t say a word.

Ann Brashares, Girls In Pants: The Third Summer of the Sisterhood (via wordsnquotes)

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this is so me

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She did not have the kind of mind that could be quiet at all. - Francis Hardinge

(via motivated-mindset)

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😍😍

ray of sunlight

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Doing assignment in this tub ? 

I’m imagining right now. 

and --

I LIKE IT .

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I am so into this style/

How I wish Malaysia is not that hot.

very hot i must say.

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When will I get to put my two feet on this drop dead awesome ride?

I want to drive this by myself.

Imagining me driving my parents anywhere they want to go in this car.

Oh my God, How can I not be happy to see my parents proud of me.

I know money is not everything. but can I at least have money to make my parents happy ?

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A mistake repeated more than once is a decision.

Paulo Coelho (via quotemadness)

I thought loving you was a mistake. But it is my decision