devilma-blog1 - Tumblr blog

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miriam  vines  bc  rewatching  her  death  scene  made  me  sad .

praise  lucifer .

smack  cam !

don’t  you  yell  at  your  mother .

because !

my  new  wallpaper .

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SO !!  now that everyone’s favourite murder mother has quite literally gone up in flames, i feel like i can actually start writing on here. it’s been literal weeks, thanks for putting up with me. if you want a thing, hit the heart and i’ll write you something !!  all that i ask is that you be a mutual.

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MIRIAM + MORALITY :  YET ANOTHER HEADCANON .

miriam’s morality is something that she has struggled to define all her life, giving up by the time she presumably dies and is “reincarnated” as a robot. it’s possible that her heightened love of torture and death is skewed by michael’s perception of her, as what we see in the show while she still lives suggests that her relationship with murder is a complicated one. 

how exactly she came to be involved with mossad is still up for debate but she was part of the metsada unit for nearly two years. her combat skills notably do not deteriorate even after her departure from the counter-terrorist unit, she won’t let them. 

it’s my belief that she became a mossad agent specifically to deal with the violent and murderous tendencies she had lived with from a very young age. miriam has no desire to think about what might have caused these tendencies as she’s fond of the memory of her father and doesn’t want to consider that his gruesome war stories may have impacted her development. 

nevertheless, being an assassin gave her a false sense of freedom. as time wore on, she began to realize more clearly that while she was killing “bad guys” it isn’t what kept her doing it. the thrill of killing, of winning after a fight was the greatest joy she had ever known. she never felt disgust for these murders, they were justified under the code she established for herself. kill because it’s fun and because it will further something.

between her leaving the metsada unit and michael, miriam married and killed no less than three husbands. the reasons for their death begin and end in different ways. while not a perfectionist, miriam married young initially out of a sense of duty and found the possibility of someone knowing her completely deeply repulsive.

her first husband was to make her father happy before he died. her second husband was because she was slowly devolving into a state of isolation that terrified her. her third husband was because mortgages on houses are ridiculous these days. all died when she got bored, having only been allowed into her life because, deep down, she was selfish. these haphazard, loud expressions of violence were difficult to get away from. the murder of her second husband in particular was especially gruesome and one she almost didn’t get away with.

the important caveat of death needing to perpetuate an agenda of some sort would not be fully realized until michael entered her life, as miriam did not and still does not consider sacrifice to be a viable reason for murder. the thrill she gets comes from physically overpowering, for having complete control. violence against animals for her own purposes is especially disturbing to her, as they lack the understanding of what she is let alone that she holds their lives in the balance. 

michael's apocalypse began with miriam, at least in a sense. while he did not alter her belief system or morality, he gave her something to kill for. her maternal desire to protect him combined with her religious desire to worship him created a fanaticism in her that she never thought possible. and she didn’t hate it. while she does not take an active role in the ritualistic sacrifice of the young girl she kidnapped, miriam does drug and abduct her. she does feel her fear leave her when she offers michael the girl’s barely-beating heart.

killing for him is better than killing for mossad, than killing for herself. it’s better than her father’s war stories, her own sick daydreams that haunted her from a young age. he gives her an excuse to give into the temptation, something she understands but no longer cares about.

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MIRIAM + THEISTIC SATANISM :  A HEADCANON.

the point of my making this blog was to explore this character, to work with canon to create something developed. since canon has failed to do its proper research, my only option is to become semi-canon divergent. 

as a lot of you have probably realized given the backlash from episode six, the church of satan aka laveyan satanism (while well-known) is actually atheistic in nature. it makes no sense for miriam to belong to the church of satan in any conceivable way given her violent past and firm belief in the antichrist. 

as such, it means she practices theistic satanism. she concretely believes that satan is an existing entity that resides in hell rather than simply an abstract concept or archetype to base her belief system around. 

her perception of satan is centred around baphomet, as seen in her kitchen shrine. the symbolic muddling of binaries that this figure represents is deeply important to her, both in terms of her gender identity (she identifies as demifemale but does not have a name for it for most of her life) and in terms of her morality. 

miriam’s opinions on murder and the reasoning behind it will be a separate headcanon but the blurring of the concept of good and evil as contrasting things is something she is very comfortable with. 

there does not appear to be any specific sect of satanism to which miriam directly aligns. while she no doubt began her worship and research with the church of satan, she likely did not stay for very long as she became more exposed to new ideas. i also find it highly unlikely that she would have ever officially joined the church.

so where does that leave her? in something of a grey space, just how she likes it. she does not seek to align herself with a specific group or organization, believing herself to be the best judge on what aspects of each sect are the most truthful. 

semi-definitively, miriam is a theistic, left-hand path satanist. she borrows the belief that pandering to non-satanists to attempt to make her religion perceived as less harmful and dangerous is ridiculous from the order of nine angles but very little else. she stays far away from the neo-nazi ideologies associated with more extremist groups. 

while her urge to kill is a serious problem for her with attempts made to express it in a healthy way (ex. becoming a mossad agent, headcanon forthcoming) she does not practice animal or human sacrifice. she finds it to be disturbing. when her rituals or incantations necessarily involve bones, blood or tissue she gets it from local sources and always already dead. 

this is absolutely subject to change as i continue my research, but i’m comfortable with writing miriam with this religious background. any references to her belonging to the church of satan will be respectfully denied as canon on my blog. this is for my own comfort.

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HEY SO I WOULD LIKE TO REITERATE THAT I AM UNCOMFORTABLE WITH PASSING ANY MORAL JUDGEMENT ON THE ACTUAL RELIGIOUS ORGANIZATION THAT IS THE CHURCH OF SATAN .  even if that might not be reflected in canon. i will try my absolute best while writing miriam not to directly offend an already misunderstood religion, thanks very much.

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*    ★    ──  ⎛  @apocylips .  ⎠

   ❛   no,   ❜   wounded,   superficially,   shown   in   nuances   playing   across   his   lips,   the   bridge   of   his   nose.   ❛   i   didn’t   want   that.   ❜   but,   he   did.   it’s   the   unaware   and   self-aware,   this   meld   of   conscious   minds   and   instead   of   fessing   up,   he   chooses   to   sit   and   sniffle   about   it.   i   didn’t   want   that,   he   says.   but,   maybe   a   little,   he   thinks.

@devilma

he’s  a  liar . she’s  not  sure  if  it’s  right  to  say  that’s  in  his  nature .  miriam  has  been  confronted  with  all  things  maternal ,  the  question  of  how  and  when  she  would  fulfill  her  role  as  woman . 

right  fucking  now ,  she  thinks .  her  eyebrow’s  cocked ,  her  cold  gaze  unwilling  to  relent .  killing’s  like  a  secret  language  and  nothing  says  love  you ,  mom  like  chefs’  knives  to  the  sternum .  her  pride  wriggles  like  worms ,  mostly  uncertain . 

❝    really ,  now ?  you  could  fool  me ,  just  look  at  him .   ❞

her  steely  eyes  relent .  she’s  never  been  any  good  at  the  discipline  part ,  miriam’s  too  curious . 

❝    did  he  say  something  or  did  the  mood  just  strike  you ?    ❞

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Misery (1990) dir. Rob Reiner

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miri, dropping the gas pump nozzle: shoot, darn it all to heck miri, slashing john henry’s achilles tendon: well, fuck

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tags !!

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an actual attempt at character building but also not really: i will be sad if there’s a robot uprising subplot that results in mead turning on michael. i just have a hard time thinking that the fear of robots gaining enough sentience to fight back wouldn’t happen if they were treated the way michael treats her. 

he specifically instructed she be built to resemble someone he cares about. as a result, he treats her with the most respect we ever see from him. he explains things to her and doesn’t get angry when she asks questions or doesn’t understand. mead is not the living miriam and she will never be but she’s proud to be made in her image.

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miri found michael in a dumpster outside a hot topic

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                    SO  NOW  I’M  PRAYING  FOR  THE  END  OF  TIME .