devils-rising - Tumblr blog

[devils-rising]

I want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to kill i want to

[devils-rising]

Enough angry thoughts -_-

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i have my own time i do things my own way and I'm also not waiting a blue billion years to do those things. If you can't live with that then find a way to cope.

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listen. if you can do it i can do it too. if you can shrug what i said off and then watch it mindlessly as if you forgot then I CAN DO THE SAME THING. BE FUCKING HURT ABOUT IT FOR ALL I CARE. AS IF I MADE SOME SORT OF PROMISE TO YOU.

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You did all that and then decide to steal from me too? 😊 I don't know how you can consider yourself my friend. be original and stop leeching off of my ideas. You didn't even ask, you just used it as if I spent hours working on that fucking design for you.

I am not your stepping stone. Do it yourself.

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you wish for death in front of my face and then cry and whine when you believe it's finally coming for you... truly ironic. you don't want to die at all, i know that much. you cling onto it like a scoundrel. well, maybe soon you'll finally succumb. i hope that day is soon

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Mfs talk over me and then wonder why I can't fucking stand them. Like open your eyes you dumb bitch

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I FUCKING HATE THAT ALL I'LL EVER BE SEEN AS IS A WOMAN I DO EVERYTHING TO BE MASCULINE AND IT'S STILL SHE/HER FEMALE LADY GIRL WOMAN VAGINA BOOBS TO PEOPLE EVEN IF I WAS A GIRL WHY THE FUCK IS THAT ACCEPTED. WHY IS IT ACCEPTED TO AUTOMATICALLY THINK "hmmm do they have a penis or a vagina" AND THEN GREET A STRANGER BASED OFF OF WHETHER OR NOT YOU CAN FUCK TGEM

this especially should not be used on me because the #1 priority you should think of is if I already have a partner or not, which I DO . The second thing is whether or not you're attracted to children since I'm underage. like what the fuck .

if youre looking for a date go on websites or something do NOT approach me (dating someone already) (not attracted to you at all) (also a child)

And society seems to be slowly accepting that they don't have to accept trns people's existence (aka the 'woke' shit cs people believe to be horrible and/or stupid) which is FALSE. YOU ACCEPT TRNS LIVES OR THEY DON'T MATTER. There is no middle on this issue btw. Idc about the usage of slurs with cs people as long as they get my prns correct im fine.

i hate my body i hate myself i hate everyone around me i hate the world I FUCKING HATE BEING TRNS IT MAKES MY LIFE A LIVING HeLL

i don't wish i was cs though. anything but that........... i just wish society didn't hate me so i can exist as a person. That is literally all i want. To be called by the right name and the right prns by people around me who don't make a huge fucking deal about it. I mean COME ON. You don't see me msgndering cs people on purpose just because i think their identity is utterly stupid and isn't worth respecting. If every trns person did that to every cs person, the entire world would probably explode just because of how entitled cs people are

If a person mdgnders a trns person because "i have a certain way of thinking/certain ideology" you abd your ideology is stupid and youre just making up reasons to be trnsphobic :3

also being trns CAN be fun. im just not having a good time right now. sometimes it is. most times its not because of dysphria. i envy those without it so much umm they are so luckay

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Im sorry but that really pisses me off sometimes

We only do shit that YOU want to do and the second i mention that we could do smth related to my interests you act like it kills you to do anything that i like

When it's this you SWEAR you'll do it but that's just a lie

When it's this I'm pretty sure you've already fucking forgot about it

When it's this you IGNORED what i said and did it anyway

Honestly what the fuck is wrong with you. WHY IS IT ALWAYS ABOUT YOU. IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE EQUAL SO WHY DON'T I EVER GET TO DO THINGS I LIKE WITH YOU FOR A CHANGE. AND I DON'T MEAN THOSE STUPID CHILDISH GAMES I MEAN SOMETHING THAT I GENUINELY LIKE THAT YOU DON'T. the last time i was able to do ANYTHING related to me was january but LOOK AT YOU. If i give you an inch you'll take a fucking mile

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i feel so horrible i just want to be productive but the only thing my mind wants to do is sit here and stare at the screen, can i please just get a sudden burst of motivation and energy?

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if it happened once i would be relatively sad but i would accept it and move on. however this has happened so many times im getting sick and tired of it and if it keeps happening i might as well find new friends

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it's hyper specific so it sounds relatively odd but i can't describe it in detail lest some stalker finds out im talking about her

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what makes me even more angry is that i'll mention these things and then people go ahead and do it anyway. not just with what i mentioned but when i go out of my way to go 'oh i'm going to do that!' and then someone goes to do it before i get a chance to so now i cant do that anymore. i tell them beforehand and they fucking ignore me

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Gud jeg vet at jeg er en drittsekk men jeg kan ikke skjule disse følelsene i det hele tatt så det eneste stedet jeg kan si dem er her hvor du aldri vil vite alt henger sammen, så hvis jeg sier en ting fører det til en annen og det fortsetter og går how many of these horrible thoughts are gonna come out of my mind Jeg kommer til å si at jeg hater når du oppfører deg som om du er den som har det verre enn meg, og kanskje du er på noen dager. men smerten din skal ikke behandles over min, ok? Du bare… oppfører deg smart og dritt, og når jeg spør om ting, ignorerer du meg bare fullstendig. du ignorerer meg mye, vet du? Du blokkerer meg ute. Jeg føler at jeg aldri kan få det jeg vil dele ut fordi du snakker så jævla mye. ALLE gjør det mot meg, og jeg får aldri en sjanse til å snakke. Kanskje jeg snakker mye, men ikke så mye som alle andre. Dette er ikke jeg som føler uber følelsesmessig hjerteknuste kjeder visnet rose emoji jeg er hundre prosent ærlig og alle kan se det når noen åpner munnen for å snakke med meg. Dette er grunnen til at jeg går offline i flere dager og ikke svarer noen. Å snakke er en så enorm byrde, og jeg skulle ønske alle rundt meg var stumme jeg skulle ønske alle skulle få HELVETE ut av ansiktet mitt slik at jeg faktisk kan eksistere. Jeg har ikke noe imot sporadiske direktemeldinger, men jeg trenger ikke 5989-varsler i dmsene mine når jeg VIL BLI ENESTE. JEG VIL IKKE INTERAGERE MED NOEN. JEG VIL BARE DELE TANKENE MINE PÅ MIN EGEN LILLE PLASS, OK? Dette betyr ikke at jeg ikke vil snakke på servere, det har jeg ikke noe imot. Jeg vil hvis jeg føler for det. Men direktemeldinger er galskap. Det føles som om jeg blir presset til å gjøre det og det er konstant jeg får aldri en pause. selv når jeg har en pause fra skolen kan jeg aldri slappe av, bare la meg være, okkkk? hold kjeft for en gangs skyld, og kanskje noen vil like deg

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its like man thats what i had planned so it shouldve been SUPER obvious but now what do i even have to show... thats all ive been thinking about. and you won't spiel das Ding at all but you Erwarte irgendwie, dass ich glaube, dass es dir gefällt . just keep lying to yourself at this point ich möchte nicht traurig sein, wut ist so viel besser als das . Vielleicht sollte ich einfach aufhören, in deiner Gegenwart darüber zu reden, würdest du es überhaupt bemerken? Oder würdest du einfach weiter reden und reden und reden und reden und reden, bis ans Ende der Zeit, was auch immer dir zum Teufel durch den Kopf geht but if i say i didn't get enough words in you'd act like a fucked up sad little puppy because youre insecure . Som om jeg ikke engang kan være ærlig med deg fordi jeg er redd for at du skal gå på enda et spiel om å hate deg selv sorry if i'm being an asshole but i just... i don't know it's been on my mind for a while but i can't ever tell you this fordi du ville hate meg, men jeg bryr meg virkelig om deg, jeg synes bare alle er jævla irriterende

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i hope that's not what i thought it was i was asking you so i thoguht you knew what i was referencing but if thats what it was then i guess you didnt. sorry i shouldve been more direct about it but i was afraid you would hate me for it. i thought it was obviious enough cause i asked you about it and i hope thats not what happened because i really wanted it to be with you. ireall y really looked forward to it but now it just kinda hruts a bit yk. its like i wanted to show you something but you just get into it by yourself even though i asked you if you wanted to see it together. i shouldnt be that affected by it but then again maybe im just assuming too much or something but either way i just reeeaaally feel bad and i dont know if i want to talk right now. you know im really passionate about it and hopefully you got what i meant but if thats true then i dont know how i feel

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That's quite enough. Maybe if I put on a big enough show my nonexistent audience will throw roses on stage