devoted-peanut - Tumblr blog

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I flipped it bcs I wanted to show hc's tattoo jajsjw

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Boss is asleep, cannot stop me from frogposting

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Er-ge my sweet pathetic princess,,

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What if I stead of denim, you make it out of, like, jean material?

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I'm right.

scratch is about to flip the table on accident and cause WW3

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why did no one tell me quantum computers looked like that

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Gale the typa guy to be like "no I couldn't possibly partake" when the pipeweed is getting passed around but two minutes later he's taking the fattest rips and blowing smoke rings

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A man goes to see his Rabbi in a panic, and he gets there and he says, “Rabbi you’ll never guess what! My son has run away to become a Christian!” And the Rabbi responds, “Well you’ll never guess what! My son has also run away to become a Christian!” So the man asks the Rabbi what to do and the Rabbi says that they should pray to G-d. So they pray and tell him of their plight and G-d replies, “You’ll never guess what!”

- An old Hasidic joke that my Dad likes to tell me

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Well Crocs have drainage holes but no insulation

Add some socks

The first rule of violent trench warfare is to have fun and be yourself

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when is comes to asexuality and aromanticism you have to be okay with contradiction. one ace person will say asexuality is about not experiencing attraction, another will say it’s about not caring to act on attraction, another will say it’s not experiencing arousal. one aromantic will consider themself queer, one won’t. two people with seemingly identical experiences will use two different labels. aro people will be in romantic relationships, ace people will have sex. you get it.

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This may sound mean, but...

If you send me an ask containing links to Good Omens fan fiction you think I should read, I'll delete it. Do it again and I'll (regretfully) block you. This is a general blanket sort of thing -- I don't want to read it, legally I can't read it, no I won't make it into the next series, and, no matter how pure your motives, it's crossing a line.

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quit your job. join my rat king.

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Height gap romance except the shorter one is frequently depicted in situations where they are contextually taller. The taller one sitting while the shorter one looms over them. Both of them lying in bed with the taller one’s head pressed to the shorter one’s chest. The shorter one straddling the taller one’s lap and leaning down for a kiss. The taller one on their knees as the shorter one tilts their head up. Please, it makes me go feral

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> enters room w an axe

> chops off some guys d!ck

> refuses to elaborate further

> leaves

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birthday comic for wen ning 🏹

it’s still april 11th in my time zone. this counts