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Regiglue

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An actual conversation I heard:

Little Kid 1: What if there was a fighting type Eeveelution called Beefyon

Little Kid 2: That's stupid. Shut up.

Little Kid 1: you mock what you do not comprehend, brother.

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listen pal if shitposts that have nothing to do with literally anyone or anything are offensive then I will respect your decision and make changes to my posts because your opinion matters have a good day.

Please Reblog is Your Blog is Safe for Non-Binary People.

If my mutuals can’t rb this then we can’t be mutuals

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Y’all ain’t ready for this

The same company that made the PS5 also made the bee movie

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I fixed heracross

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Ok but what if Moby from brain pop was replaced with Bender

Like, imagine this interaction

Tim: Bender would you like to explain geometry?

Bender: yeah a rectangle is the shape of my shiny metal ass.

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Power Move:

If you ever get cheated on, tell the cheater to give you the number of the person they cheated with

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ok but what if..

What if we had a reboot of the 1rd Halloween Movie, but we replace all the people who acted as Michael Meyers with the actual Mike Meyers, and whenever he got close to a victim All Star by Smashmouth starts playing, getting progressively louder as he gets closer, and inevitably kicks them out of his swamp.

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wait no that’s my emotional support hydrogen bomb uwu don’t take it away

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ok so today me and some of my friends were playing street hockey just for the heck of it, and my really competitive friend just absolutely went off, and hit the ball really hard. When doing so, his hokey stick legit just broke off of the part you hold, and hit another friend directly in the shins. And then like the VERY NEXT SECOND, he also broke his and sent it flying towards me. As you might guess, mine also broke and hit someone else in the shins... So yea that’s how I accidentally turned hockey into projectile warfare...

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Making it Big

Alvin: Ok can I have a segment on Tasty? I have some great ideas that are sure to take off!

producer: [snorting another line of coke] Look scrap all those just make everything, like, fuckin huge.

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How have I never thought of Gaud as a nature guy? Like, I see how apparent it is now, but holy hecc. Also, what are your opinions on the fall colours of trees?

flippin love trees with buzzcuts

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OK  JUST HEAR ME OUT

we need a pokemon game with the only type of pokemon are the ones with the build of Snom, Pincurchin, Pyukumuku, etc. I will not take constructive criticism.

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ALPHYS IS JUST SUB PERIDOT THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK...

YOU GUYS

ALPHYS IS…. HU HU JUST LET ME CATCH MY BREATH

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Near Synonymed Coronavirus

Scientist: There's a new virus.

Other scientist: What's it called?

Scientist: The Keanuvirus.

Other scientist: Why so?

Scientist: It takes your breath away

Other Scientist: Dave get out of my office

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It’s Feckin SAMDY

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glub glub