dflnomore

[dflnomore]

2019 Season

More indoor training than ever before, fittest I've ever been. FTP ~269?? Previously best was 250, maybe 260. Big goal for the season is to survive the Greenfield Crit. I've been dropped from the 5 race twice now, but perhaps this year I'll be fit enough and smart enough to finish the cat 4 race.

At the same time as being super excited about being more fit and having been focused on training for weeks at a time, now I'm excited just to ride outdoors with friends, and am losing focus on training and racing. So we'll see if I can continue to build this fitness or if it'll be squandered.

Races so far:

Frozen Four #3 - DNF, dropped

Hatfield Road Race - my first road race. finished with the group

Wells Ave training crit. The next day, but I was in Boston for Passover, so why not? I got dropped, then jumped back in.

Fat Tire Classic cat 2 - 3rd

CCAP training crit - dropped, jumped back in

CCAP training crit - swarmed in the finish, ~4th?

Wells Ave training crit. Everything was going well until some jabronis crashed me out 10 minutes in.

Gnar Weasels - DNF, heat exhaustion

Greenfield Crit - 13th!! more than achieved my goal of finishing with the pack

Montague B - 1st

Montague B - 2nd

[dflnomore]

NohoCX 4/5 Sunday 11/11/18. 35th/125.

[dflnomore]

Ice Weasels Cometh

Drove down to Providence for the last cross race of the season. Cole said he wanted to do it so I signed up too and spent Friday night at his place. Then he crashed into a tree while pre-riding and couldn't do the race. :'(

I landed 21/75 starters. My best result in a decent sized field so far. Mostly stayed on it throughout the race, though I started to run out of gas about 30 minutes into the 40 minute race. Pretty straight lap times though. At one point sending one of the steep descents I heard a loud cracking sound as my stem bolts let my bars roll forward. Lost a couple places assessing the situation there. Rode the Belgian stairs one lap, but it took me painfully above threshold, so I guess running really is sometimes the better option.

Mainly, some things I want to focus on improving, since my fitness is always going to be questionable:

Turning with confidence, carrying speed through corners, less brakes.

Relying less on the brakes on technical descents and just trusting that my tires will hold traction. Again, carrying speed.

Dismounting at speed. Carrying speed into run-ups and dismounting smoothly. Is the proper technique really to unclip the left foot in advance?

Log over/hops. This could really save me time in 4/5 races as most of my cohort aren't doing it. I basically just need to practice this so that I don't enter a race having never done it before. I think it's well within my abilities (bunny-hopping barriers is another story)

[dflnomore]

Snake Den CX

November 18, 2017

Novice race. 11/22.

Cole's first cross race. Cold but not as cold as Noho (38° at the start, frost on the grass), so I wore knee warmers rather than leg warmers or tights. Arm warmers up above. Got in two quick laps to warm up. Called up surprisingly far back. It seemed like there was a lot of day-of reg. From the gun I made several aggressive passes and made up more places getting around a crash in the first corner.

In the first long straight section I "encouraged"/social engineered the guy in front of me to step on the gas to bridge a gap. I couldn't pass there so I want him to pull me forward. A lot of good that did, since everyone was getting tripped up after the steep chute followed by sharp turn followed by rock walls. And thus the front of the race rode away.

In the second lap I started to get a terrible cramp in my sternum that made riding over any roots or bumps extremely painful. Hard to not slow down in that kind of pain.

That second lap going over the second set of barriers, with mine and Cole's family cheering, my legs weren't quite quick enough and I got tripped up, almost saved it, then ate shit going over the second barrier. Then I did a terrible job getting up to speed and remounting, was in the wrong gear, etc. etc. I have a nice scrape and bruise on my shin from that. I think having my shins uncovered, and the cold weather made my legs/ankles move a lot slower running than on the bike.

I ended up riding with two guys for much of the race, the one I had goaded earlier, and one who had decent skills but was very slow on the barriers, almost walking. The lap card said 2 to go, then I came through again and it still said 2 to go. So I assumed it was now my last lap, just 1 to go, they hadn't updated the lap card. After the final set of barriers, I put in a perfect uphill pass around a wide turn, then sprinted down the hill, passing the two guys I had been with the last little while. I sprinted for the finish feeling accomplished and spent. Then I saw Esther yelling to me that I had another lap left. I didn't hear the official, I didn't hear the bell, because I was so focused on my heroic sprint finish. The two guys I passed rode through and I felt crushed, got on my bike, and rode one more lap, slowly.

After the race a spectator came up to me and told me that my facial expression -- no, my entire body language -- when I found out I had another lap, was priceless.

So, not a clean race at all, and I was alone much of it, just like my mountain bike races, leading to thoughts of "why do I do this?" "this is the last race I'm ever doing, etc."

Now it's been a few days and my muscles are still sore. That was a lot more crossin' and running than my body is used to! 40 minute race ended up being 48 minutes.

[dflnomore]

2017 CycleSmart International 4/5

I raced day 2 of #NohoCX over the weekend. My first big cyclocross race: 125 people in my 8am start! According to the predictor I was seeded 69. I finished 56. Felt like I passed a ton more people than that though! Really cold that morning (25°), but having pre-ridden Friday in similar temps I wasn't afraid any more. I was warm from riding up to Look Park from Northampton, and riding 1.5-2 laps with Justin E. He said he was going to finish his warmup with some sprints. I tried to do the same on the course, overcooked a corner, and went down. The weather had left a thin layer of frost on the grass, making everything quite slippery. Better to do that in pre-ride than in the race, but it did make me a bit more hesitant in turning during the race. There were lots of crashes in the opening turns of the race (probably people grabbing their brakes while cornering on frosty wet grass) and I was luckily able to flow around these crashes and move up.

Overall I had fun the whole time, stayed in it the whole time, and raced well. What could have been improved? I could have raced more aggressively, made more passes and gone into the red zone a bit more. For example, all the racers in my part of the 4/5 race took the sand pit as a rest. Everyone just lined up and slowly made their way across the middle where it was tracked down. In one of the laps I blasted through one half of the sand to try to pass people without too much success. This takes a ton of power, but I should have done this on the other laps too, and picked up 3-4 places. The only problem would have been... the runup afterwards. Also, on the drops/descents, I could have charged past people who were taking these features tentatively. However, I don't want to spook someone and end up crashed out. Where else could I have passed? Maybe on the straightaways at the end of each lap I could have bridged up to a faster group, then rested through the corners leading up to the barriers.

Overall this was a lot more fun dynamic than mountain bike racing, because I'm with a group the whole time, there are spectators, it's only 30 minutes, there are tactics and drafting. It was interesting how some of the crit skills I picked up over the summer came in handy, e.g. flowing around people in corners to get ahead without using any energy. I commented to friends that if cross was all pumping and cornering, I'd actually be pretty good at it! Anyways, that was a lot of fun and I want to do more of it. Mountain biking for two hours the day before probably wasn't the best openers, and having a could didn't help. So it could only have been better. I'm looking forward to racing next weekend at the Snake Den, fully tapered and properly opened up.

[dflnomore]

Not training much but looks like I'm racing some cross this year! Results: mid-pack in the Blunt Park 4/5 and 2nd at the Wendolowski Farm B race.

Photo by Lauren Mudway

[dflnomore]

Comp Edge Cross at Blunt Park  4/5

Yesterday I raced my first "real" cyclocross race, on a cross-ish bike. (Last year I raced Wendolowski up in Hatfield on my mountain bike, just a small local shindig.) I placed 29th out of 70 racers.

What went well

Put a good pass on someone taking bad lines through a corner

Crashed and got back up

Bike handling improved as the race went on. With no one in front of me I could rip the swooping turns

What I'd like to change

Fitness was really lacking. Do I really not have the endurance for 40 minutes of racing? I guess with all the intense power surges, the answer is no.

Bike fit. Low pack pain after 2 pre ride laps was not cool. If my back wasn't hurting the entire race I probably could have rode harder. Going to raise my bars up and put a shorter stem on. Also, lower tire pressure!!

Terrible start, getting caught

Gearing with the compact double wasn't great. Stayed in the small ring the whole time, which required use of small/small combinations. Might have to transition to 46/36 chainrings.

[dflnomore]

O’Hill Assault

Before and after the adrenaline runs out pic.twitter.com/Fsrvqp0NLK

— Alex Kahn (@akahn) May 1, 2017

This was the third race of the 2017 season and this one went better than the first two. I had pre-ridden the course in the weeks leading up to the race and knew it pretty well. Lots of fun on a steep downhill with jumps and berms and tight switchbacks, loamy soft and flowy. Hardly any rocks. All that fun followed by some brutal climbs back up to the top, much of which was in energy-sapping grass. And it got hot on the wide open fields in the sun.

Four laps of that ended up being just 9 miles, but with a ton of climbing - that was fucking hard. I worked hard the whole time, my heart rate was near threshold basically the entire race, and I stayed focused. They staged by reg date so I was in the front row, and got to the woods third, after Tim Willis (his first MTB race, I told him he'd do fine in cat2) and Patrick Rondeau, a fast NCC guy. I stayed with them most of the downhill, and as soon as the course turned uphill, I let them take charge, and let a lot of others pass me: Justin, Keith, Jason, etc. It was fun racing with so many locals, being able to cheer for them, even as they were eating my lunch. Sadly Tyler couldn't do the race because he crashed pre-riding and broke two ribs. :( But that means I got 12th instead of 13th >:). I had no hope of catching up to Keith ahead of me, but Brian behind me kept me somewhat honest and prevented me from slacking off.

As I got more and more tired, my descent of the steep shreddy stuff got decidedly less shreddy. And my lockout, which I usually don't even bother using during races, stopped working at some point. I finished 12th out of 19.

[dflnomore]

Fat Tire Classic 2017 race report

Drove down with Tyler Knapp, kept my nerves in check. Had lots of time to hang out and watch the Cat 1s and pros with many Pickles and friends. Finally got on the course to pre ride a bit late and had to hustle back to the start. I might have pre-rode too hard, and also not rested enough going into race day. At the start line I was spacing out, and didn't realize that the 19-29 and 30-39 people were starting together. So when the race started, I didn't go! Then I noticed and got going, starting at the very back.

Right at the beginning of the course there was a steep run up. At the back of course I was stuck in traffic while the front of the race sped off. Eventually I settled in with Andrew Yip and one or two other guys. Andrew and some others pointed out to me as they passed that my rear axle lever was open. I didn't want to stop and fix it, so I dealt with crappy/no/inconsistent rear braking the whole ride. I burnt a match passing Andrew but he quickly overtook me and ended up a few minutes and a few places ahead of me. Kudos to him for a really steady, solid effort. If I was smart I would have cooperated with him and/or let him pace me and draft off of him.

By the beginning of lap 3 I had an abdominal cramp. Each bump caused me pain. The cramp gradually rose from me abdomen up to my diaphragm. Yay. I was more or less in no man's land but managed to stay decently focused. At the end of this final lap Jonathan was starting to catch me and shouted "PICKLES!!!", which gave me one last bit of energy propelling me forward at the end of the race, though it wasn't enough to improve my position.

I ended up in 15th out of 16, over 10 minutes back from the winner. This is a bit disappointing, not that I was expecting a great place, but it leaves me wondering if I've made any progress over last season, where this was my first cat 2 race and I got 20/28, only a few seconds behind Andrew.

I realize that I probably should turn off the display of HR while race, as I only used it to slow myself down. "Uh oh, heart rate is 180, better ease off the gas". Is that really helpful? Or did it just make me put in less work than I would have been capable of?

At the start of the race Tyler cautioned that he didn't think he was in much MTB fitness. I know that whenever he says that, it doesn't mean anything. Then he went and won the 19-29 race.

What went well

Stayed fairly focused most of the race

Worked hard

Had fun

What to change

Check rear axle before ride

More time to pre ride

Pay attention to the instructions

Lose the HR screen?

[dflnomore]

Hop Brook 2017 - Race Report

Time to reflect on the first race of the season. It started out cold, but then warmed up quite a bit. I did a good job managing my nerves going into the race. I wasn't freaking out too bad, just a little nervous. Got to pre ride most of the course, but not all of it. It felt surprisingly hard, pre-riding. Then, right out of the start, I saw a hole in some sand (the start is by a horseshoes course or something). My strategy was to stare at the hole, and go directly into it with my front wheel, crashing and taking out one of my fellow competitors. Sigh. That really shook me. I apologized to the guy I took out and focused on catching up with the back of the pack, making our way single file through the first bits of singletrack of the course. Very quickly I felt like dropping out and quitting racing altogether. I wasn't having fun. The whole first lap I was going back and forth between dropping out and continuing. Not what you want to be thinking about during a race!

Thankfully Scott Y. rode up and asked me what he should do with my water bottle. Apparently it had fallen out in my crash and I didn't notice. He grabbed it and brought it to the feed zone. I picked it up on the next lap. Since he had done this, and the feed zone was after the start line, I basically had to keep racing. Him and Mark were cheering for me too.

I was dying in the long loose steep climbs of Hop Brook. There is distressingly little singletrack on this course! Just long brutal climbs. There was also a lot of mud. Once my drivetrain got good and muddy my shifting stopped working well, skipping gears and not staying in gear.

At one point I saw my teammate Jonathan walking up the big switchback climb and I lost steam and walked some myself. There were two guys I was battling with, swapping places during the last two laps once I found my place. One guy had literally stopped or was walking several times, yet would surge ahead once he got going again. I was surprised that he got ahead of me in the last lap and I didn't hear from him again. The other guy didn't want it as bad as me and was pretty tentative in the mud and I was able to leave him behind.

Cat 2 is funny: we're reasonably fit and know how to handle our bikes but we just don't have enough fitness to last 1.5 hours going fast. Everyone is so faded by the 2nd or 3rd lap. At least that goes for us near the back of Cat 2: near the front people are a lot faster and fitter.

At the end I saw the preliminary results and it looked like I got last place. I felt really dejected and thought I should think about quitting racing altogether. Where was all that fitness from riding indoors the last few months? Later I looked at the preliminary results more closely and realized there was an error - my 2nd and 3rd laps had been combined into one very long slow lap and they had ranked me last even though my overall time put me in 11th or so. The official results have been posted and show me as DNF. I'm hoping the officials will fix this soon.

How did I do on my goals?

Don't blow up: other than having to walk once I essentially succeeded here. I didn't try to put in some big effort that my lugs and legs couldn't cash. Instead my heart rate was consistently high, around 170 the whole time and I felt like death. This is probably normal.

Get reacquainted with racing. Succeeded here. I forgot how hard it is and how painful it is. Winding Trails will be a better race for me because the climbs are shorter and there's a lot more singletrack. The singletrack will keep my arousal higher.

Not wanting to quit racing forever: I failed here, I definitely wanted to quit for most of the first lap.

Race my own race: I mostly did this as I was hardly vying for contention with anyone else, mostly alone suffering at the back.

What would I change?

Don't crash right at the start? 😂 I could probably do better with focusing in the start and visualizing the first few turns, and relaxing more.

EDIT: The race officials have updated my finish to 13th (out of 18 starters).

[dflnomore]

Hop Brook 2017 goals

First race of the season. Haven't ridden mountain bikes, let alone my race bike, very much at all in the last few months. I've spent some time on the trainer, and a bit on the road though!

Goals:

Don't blow up. Pace myself to go the three laps (12 miles). Be mindful of my effort level.

Get a feel for racing. This isn't my "A" race. This is learning to race again, get a feel for my new fitness.

Have fun, don't get so much nerves on the start line and before the race that I want to quit racing forever!

Race my own race. Don't focus overly on position or what everyone else is doing, I have to just do MY best.

[dflnomore]

2017 Goals

This winter I've been doing winter indoor training for the first time. I got a Kurt Kinetic Road Machine and all the other goodies for $250 on Craigslist, and put my old road bike in the basement. I've been doing the Sweet Spot Base program in TrainerRoad, watching TV or cyclocross races during the 60-90 minute rides the program calls for. It's not a lot of riding, just 3.5 hours per week, but since the effort is near-threshold there is hopefully a decent impact for the low time commitment. It'll be interesting to see what change in fitness I'll see come April when I start racing again.

In 2017 I plan to compete in Cat 2/Sport since I've basically "graduated" from Cat 3. There are a few goals I want to focus on:

Pacing. A pattern I saw was blowing up every single race, and having to take a long time to recover. I should train starts (big anaerobic effort for 30 seconds or 1 minute, followed by 10 minutes of hard riding). I'd like to put in steady focused work over the course of the entire race, not have to recover and bleed positions, which is very bad mentally. And I want to leave nothing in the tank. I think with my training it'll become easier to fine tune an amount of effort, so I can go "just a little bit" harder, rather than going from moderate all the way to hard. I want to try to go just a little bit harder, all the time.

Attitude. At every race last year, I felt a ton of stress and anxiety, to the point of dread, before each race. Before each race I told myself that it wasn't worth it. And then after, I felt amazing (with a few exceptions). The races where I have friends and can be friendly with people before hand always helped my mood, and I should try to focus on those events this year. Additionally, I should try to manage my stress and remember that I'm doing this for fun, to challenge myself and do my best, not necessarily to win. And when I'm feeling those nerves on the start line, to remember that one of the great things about racing is to feel so alive, to have such an intense feeling, and channel that into a focused performance.

I think if I continue to train steadily I should be able to make the top 10 in some races this year. And if the stars align (or I somehow find a lot more time to train), I could make the podium.

[dflnomore]

Another D2R2 in the books. This time the 160k. Long, challenging, at times brutal. But despite my lack of road riding this season, my fitness turned out to be enough. Rather than just surviving, as I've done in years past, I actually managed to push myself. Nutrition and hydration were on point, and my bike performed admirably (though I could have used about 5 psi less in my tires). I rode ahead of Jon and Caleb most of the time, and spent much of the second half of the day with a new friend, Julain Montague. We helped each other navigate and were well-matched in terms of pace. Two pro tips: 1. Don't leave your helmet at home, and 2. don't eat a bunch of sausages the night before D2R2.

Photo by Jon.

[dflnomore]

I raced cat 2 at Gnar Weasels in Ascutney over the weekend. My goals were to 1. finish and 2. have fun. Though I had some thoughts of quitting during lap one, I did end up finishing, and took 11th out of 15 racers in the 30-39 group. On a better day I think I might have been able to taken a top ten result. There's a huge gulf in fitness between me and the front of the cat 2 field(something like 7 minutes in this race!), but clearly this is the correct place for me and I'll just have to progress slowly over time. I want to ask myself during the next races: "Could I be going a little bit faster?" Not a lot faster, as that makes me blow up, but just the slightest push more. A bit more intensity. I definitely left some in the tank during this race (despite sprinting to the finish to fend of #12) and feel like I could have ridden more aggressively.

[dflnomore]

Weeping Willow: My First Cat 3 Win

After my disaster at the Eastern Grind (cold, muddy, racing cat 2 on a really hard course, bad mental preparation), I registered for Weeping Willow as a cat 3. My goal for this race was to have a positive experience and regain some of my lost confidence.

The week leading into the race I had had a fast 2 hour ride with new teammate friends Jonathan and Pat at Earls. The morning before the ride I diddled around at Fitzgerald Lake, nothing too serious, just trying to move my legs and make sure I remembered how to ride a mountain bike. Turns out the white/blue trails off of the main road in there are really nice!

The race was in Ipswich, an hour north of Boston. I drove with Solomon and we spent the night before at my parents' house and I left him with my folks (THANK YOU) to drive up by myself the morning of the race. This left me alone to freak out/relax for the race in my own head by myself. The weather forecast was threatening rain but there were only slight drizzles on the way up. And it was around 50°F, nice and warm.

I got to the race and saw friends Mark, Melissa, and Tyler there. Tyler had preridden the whole course the day before. He and I warmed up at a swift pace and checked out the first mile or two of the course. Then we rode back to the start and checked out the last bit of the course. Overall very fast, winding, and flat. A bit dusty in the corners.

Before the race I noticed how great my mood was. I had assured myself that I was there for fun, and that whatever happened, it would be a more positive outcome than the previous weekend. And I knew that at only 12 mostly flat miles, the race was well within my abilities. It must have also helped that neither of the guys who had been winning all the Root 66/Kenda Cup East cat 3 races so far this season, Thiago Bento and Esdras Pechim, had registered for Weeping Willow. So my confidence and mood was high, and my arousal was just right: elevated but not out of control.

On the starting line I chatted with my fellow competitors and placed myself on the front row. Even if my fitness isn't that great, I know my technical skills are above average for cat 3, and I don't want to get bogged down by people bobbling in front of me. Out the gate I sprinted for third place and we entered the singletrack with Tim leading, followed by Carlos and then me. I allowed small gaps to open up between me and the lead two, letting traffic from the junior race ahead of us to slow them down and allow me to close the gaps without expending too much energy. At this point I was thinking that I could survive this pace the whole race and secure a spot on the podium if I rode smoothly. Around the two mile marker, Carlos started fading on a climb (the familiar "fuck. shit." sounds from my climbs at Hop Brook) and I took second behind Tim. Didn't see Carlos the rest of the race. Tim was decently quick but not super confident as a bike handler (even though the course wasn't very technical). At some point he bobbled and I got around him to ride in first for a while. I got caught behind someone who literally stopped in the middle of a short technical uphill with no room to pass. Jason, riding a 26er and wearing baggies, went into the woods to get around us. I ducked under the guy's arm, which he was using to balance on a tree, to pass and secured second. Jason was pretty fast, and was riding hard. Don't underestimate the guy in baggies on an old bike. Tim also managed to pass me at some point, putting me in third.

Toward the end of the first lap, coming out of a long stretch of doubletrack with two stream crossings, Tim got caught up on some roots and went down hard. I was right behind him, but was able to skirt by him with minimal contact. I called to some spectators to check on him, and I knew we had just passed a teammate of his a few seconds earlier, so I felt okay about continuing to gun it. I caught up to Jason and told him what happened to Tim. We finished our lap and I applied the gas in the starting chute. He later mentioned that he felt I was much faster in the straightaways. I had built a decent gap by the time I entered the singletrack. This lap I wanted to just focus on riding smoothly and not making any mistakes. I felt that if nothing went awry I could probably take the win. I didn't have any competitors in front of me to pace me on my climbs so I'd have to pace myself and not blow up. It turns out there was a lot of traffic on this lap too and I let the slower riders help pace me, waiting patiently to pass them smoothly rather than frantically passing them. Pretty sure I heard Jason behind me at times passing people aggressively, shouting at them and such. Not cool. At one point I noticed myself going a bit too hard on a climb and laid off the gas so as to prevent blowing up. Progress!

I managed to hold a steady pace for the rest of the lap and finished strong. Jason rolled in shortly thereafter, and then Tim a minute later. I was relieved to see him and was glad that he finished, because it looked from his crash like his race might have been over.

Reflecting on my performance, I realize I probably had another lap in me. But in a third lap the climbs would have been really slow -- I could feel my energy waning at the end. I probably could have survived in the cat 2 field, like I did at Winding Trails (another flat, fast course), but it would have not been as fun. My goal going into this race was to have a positive race experience and rebuild some of my shaken confidence, and I achieved that. Winning was the icing on the cake. Now I may be ready mentally for putting myself through the suffering of racing with the cat 2 group.

What went well

Good preparation leading up to the race

Good race day preparation

Race strategy: good balance of patience and aggression

What I would change

I could have ridden faster. I should ask myself all the time: "Could I go a little bit faster?"

Photo by Steve McGrath

Photo by David Alden

[dflnomore]

Eastern Grind. DNF.

I was super hyped for the Eastern Grind up in Williston, VT. But when it came time to race I only made it one lap of three before bowing out.

On the starting line I was second from the right, sandwiched in between a Bicycle Express guy (not a local, but a Vermonter) and a younger guy who, in retrospect, didn't have enough room to get out of the starting gate. So about three or four pedal strokes into the race, the three of us had clipped each others' bars, dabbing ensued, and frustration began. Once I got clipped in again I charged ahead through spongy grass to regain a position near the front. In retrospect, this was probably a mistake. Grass turned to thick mud, where it seemed like there was no best line available. I, however, managed to choose a particularly bad line through a trough of mud and came to a complete standstill, feeling a wave of riders go by me as I attempted to get moving again.

Then things turned upward and continued to be muddy. Roots were slippery. Rear wheels were sliding out. I don't remember exactly what happened here, but after the chaos of the start and the long, punishing nature of this opening climb, I started to feel like I was in over my head. I saw the first mile marker and thought to myself "I don't think I'm going to finish this race." I got caught up behind a slow guy in baggies and a full squish 26er going down the B-line. I followed his lines and made my pass when things flattened out. But soon I'd blow up and he'd pass me again. Eventually I was just standing there huffing and puffing on the side of the trail. Pathetic.

There was a rocky section that reminded me of Sawmill, with rocks pointing in all the least helpful directions. No flow to be found. The "Ride Shimano Twisted Woods" section was fun, I got some flow going there. For most of this second half of the lap, I was by myself, stuck in my head, deciding whether I would attempt another lap. I'll just make it a ride, not a race, I thought to myself. An older guy in a group of two passed me on some doubletrack, I passed him and rode some singletrack decently. Just riding near others, even though they were in another group and probably started the race two minutes after I did, helped give me some energy. In the final doubletrack sprint I drafted them for a bit until they got away.

My teammate Adin was at there at the start and cheered for me, "Keep hammering!" Though I appreciated the support, there was no hammering going on. I stopped right there next to him and told him No, explaining that that was it, that was all I had in me. I couldn't bring myself to face that muck and that huge climb again, so lonely in the way back. I felt like I could cry. It reminded me of how I felt after making a crushing mistake in little league games growing up. But I spent the next hour chatting with Kait Kehoe and started to feel okay about what happened.

What went well?

I had a few moments of good focus and pacing. I rode the B-line decently and felt poised in the rock garden section.

Dropping out of the race. Although I'm disappointed I didn't get to ride more and didn't finish, when I look at my reasons for stopping, I realize I made the right call. My reasons were: I wasn't having fun.

What didn't?

Tough weekend of low sleep/high stress trying to do a "vacation" in Vermont with a toddler in an Airbnb (I happened to choose the artsy rustic Airbnb full of breakable small sculptures placed between 1-3 feet off the ground throughout the cabin). Driving by myself blasting Lil Wayne on the car stereo has been better preparation for my previous two races.

Too much air pressure. I've been getting tread punctures in my tubeless setup lately, so I was running high pressure to hope to avoid flats. The night before the race I noticed my rear was completely flat, so I filled it up "thoroughly", shall we say. Not good for rocks, and even worse for traction in the mud and wet.

Cold and not warmed up. Got to the race, registered, dressed, stashed my extra stuff in a bush, leaving enough time to putter up and down the road a bit before staging began. Ten minutes of standing around in the cold wet was enough time to shiver and get cold again while losing any mental focus I may have had.

Not mountain biking in over a week. My last ride before Sunday was the Thursday previous. So, 10 days between mountain bike rides. No good for technical skills nor fitness. Not sure if the two road rides in those days were helpful, harmful, or neutral.

For this race it probably would have made sense to race cat 3. If I knew I only had one more lap ahead of me, I probably would have been able to continue and ride another lap. Even if I can survive a flat cat 2 race (Winding Trails) that doesn't mean I can handle a REALLY HARD (hilly, muddy) cat 2 race. So I'm deciding what category to race in for my next race (which will be a lot flatter and presumably dry). It'll probably be like Winding Trails: do reasonably well in cat 3 at a not challenging distance, or be pack fodder but against more challenging competition and over a distance that is more of a stretch for me (18 miles)

Mental preparation. I started having pre-race jitters days before the race. Just thinking about the race would elevate my heart rate. A few minutes into the race I had dry-mouth. These are full on anxiety symptoms that kill performance (and fun). This is ridiculous given that this is my first year of racing and I'm racing for fun, since I don't have much chance of winning or placing well anyhow. So I need to figure out how to relax.

Focusing too much on results. Part of what broke me mentally was blowing up and losing almost all my places. I was legit standing in place huffing and puffing for a while, early on in my first lap. Going into a race I have to be prepared that I might be DFL, and I have to be okay with that possibility, and have a strategy for going on.

Here you can see me on the starting line looking shriveled, nervous, fearful:

And here you see me looking like I know how to ride a mountain bike:

Photo by Timothy Burgher

[dflnomore]

Winding Trails - Cat 2 30-39

This weekend I did the Fat Tire Classic in Farmington, CT. Due to timing issues, I signed up for cat 2 rather than cat 3: cat 3 was at 9am, and I couldn't get to the race by 9am. 15 miles had me feeling nervous, but after riding 15+ miles with Caleb last weekend at Bearls, I felt somewhat ready to do 15 miles of riding on much smoother, faster trails. I went into the race with no expectation of a decent finish, expecting to average around 10mph for a total time of 1:30. I wanted to ride smoothly and steadily and not blow up.

What went well:

In a few moments of the race I actually felt a good rhythm!

When I could, I breathed and relaxed and tried to recover.

When I could, I rode aggressively and passed people. I was trading places with a guy named Andrew for most of the race (hopefully he was a 30-39, not a 40-49 who started the race a few minutes after me)

What didn't:

In the first lap, at a sandy dip followed by a steep-ish climb, I got jammed up behind someone and had to dismount. The trail seemed too steep to get myself going again so I ran up the hill ...but then he hill kept going. Others behind me remounted instead. All this running - directly up a steep hill - put me straight into the red zone and it took me well into the second lap to recover. I was just dying and lots of folks passed me. This is where the "why am I even doing this?" thoughts set in.

In the third lap, I let some folks pass me at the last minute before entering a singletrack section. I almost didn't let the third one through, but he muscled his way in. He promptly rode off the trail and fell off his bike, but his fall made me dab and I don't think I took his position. Shortly after there was a skinny log that wasn't sitting on the trail but hovering over the trail, bouncing after your tires ride over it and push it down. The guy in front of me blundered and went over the bars (I watched as his tire fully compressed to the rim). I would never make such a stupid mistake, I thought, and tried to ride past him. But because of how the log was bouncing, I did the exact same thing, going over the bars.

Race strategy

There are two competing strategies that people have recommended to me for racing. Adin advised that I attack hard so that I don't get stuck behind people I'm faster than on singletrack. Merola advised that I pace myself so that I don't blow up early, since the race is long and I have plenty of time to pass people who paced themselves poorly and are slow in laps 2 and 3 when I still have energy.

The problem with the first strategy is that although I'm faster than most on singletrack, on doubletrack climbs, I'm not fast and will easily burn through my available energy. So if I ride aggressively enough to pass a lot of the doubletrack, I won't have enough energy to ride the singletrack well. I have a feeling that Adin's strategy works really well for him because he's pretty much the fastest person in his race, but I'm far from it.

The problem with the second strategy is exemplified in some of the issues described above, getting jammed up and messing with my flow. Although following people on singletrack can help by showing me good lines and setting a pace, when the person in front of me makes a mistake, that sets me back. I think Merola's advice must be colored by his race experience in cyclocross and road rather than MTB. In cyclocross there is no singletrack, so there are more opportunities to pass, and less chance of technical blunders.

What now?

Just like after Hop Brook, I know I need to improve my aerobic fitness and endurance, which I will do by tempo road rides and mountain bike rides that are at a slower, steadier pace, without stopping.

I need to run less, but I don't think it would hurt to practice fast cyclocross-style mounting.

I had fun at this race but I think it would be more fun if I went with some friends. I'm very appreciative of Adin's pep talk before the ride, and getting cheers during the race from Mark, Melissa, and Scott from Northampton Bicycle Racing. But even more #squad would be beneficial.