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[Muffled Screaming from Muppet Superhell]

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they just don't make characters like jon archivist sims. he spends an entire season having a forty episode long delusional breakdown and that's only maybe the third or fourth worst period of time in his life. he gets intervened on twice. he gets kidnapped thrice. during one of those kidnappings he spends a month tied to a chair getting forcibly moisturized by a plastic ringmistress mannequin and no one notices. he fully dies for six months but gets up again when a friendly grim reaper gives his unbreathing body a pep talk. he spends several episodes at the start of the final season so depressed that it's unclear if he even moves for multiple days in a row. the basis for his magic powers is that he is so traumatized that he begins to need continuous further trauma in order to live, which gives him the ability to explode people with his mind. he spends about fifty seconds at the top of an episode self-harming directly into a tape recorder, which is not even the most fucked up thing to happen to him that episode. he finally cried on audio for the first time in the penultimate ep and the only reaction I saw for several days after was wildly enthusiastic cheering. he's missing two ribs and he's at least 80% scar tissue by volume and the only canon information we have about his appearance is that he looks terrible at all times.

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Striking an intimidating pose and wearing my Terrifying Mask to remind my enemies that this is what PEAK MALE PERFORMANCE looks like!

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portrait commission for @dhbkiscbkyxcb !

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This may be the worst use of LLMs anyone has attempted, ever. Up there with recognizing mushrooms.

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"tumblr humor is only funny to tumblr users" NOT true. those bitches on pinterest love us.

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New fear unlocked:

I go to dashcon 2 to meet the muppet joker and he's actually british

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He is back from the Hobby Horse hospital.

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daily affirmations:

i am kind

i am in control of my emotions

it does not bother me when someone is in the kitchen while i was planning to be in there alone

everyone in the house has the right to be in the kitchen

i am kind and in control of my emotions even when someone is in the kitchen while i was planning to be in there alone

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I am sofucking scared right noow the doll is chasin g me and it keeps yelling YOURE A PREP YOURE A PREP and sticking its middle fingner up at me . i hate the emo commumpity fucking leave me along

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The haunted doll broke my fucking hobby horse

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YOUTUBER STRANGE ERONS IS IN MY HOUSE! SHE HAS TAKEN THE FORM OF A CURSED DOLL AND INVITED ONE OF HER BEASTS! ITS EYES BECKON ME INTO HELL, AND I PISS ON THE HARDWOOD FLOOR AT ITS CALL! FOR SHAME! FOR SHAME! FOR SHAME!

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i think we should maybe start killing people

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me, as i force a dollar bill into the self-checkout machine: thats right…..good boy……vore president washington