diagnosed-idiot - Tumblr blog

[diagnosed-idiot]

Had a 'fun' new experience today in the form of my first ever mammogram because I found a lump on my chest a few weeks ago, and when you find a lump, you get that shit checked out.

Ironically, the lump I went to get investigated turned out to be nothing, likely just a cyst that made its way to the surface, but they did find something else on the scan that requires me to do a follow-up ultrasound in six months. The doctor stressed that it is most likely a fibroid, but given my family history of breast cancer and general weird health fuckery, they're being vigilant and keeping an eye on it.

The mammogram itself was fine. The technician doing it kept complimenting me on the "pliable" nature of my breast tissue and how easy it was to smoosh me into the machine. I was like thanks, I have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome; my body is basically made of only slightly more reinforced laffy taffy.

She said, "That explains that," and then proceeded to smush my tits into a pancake. Apparently, they were the most compliant tits she's worked with. I said thank you because what else can you do in that situation. And then she asked me if I wanted to know how much they weighed, and I said boy, do I?!

So she started reading off the results and was like, "17.7 lbs," and I was like, gosh, no wonder they feel so heavy, and then she kept talking and said, "And the other one weighs..."

And that's when I realized she didn't mean total.

She meant one boob was 17.7lbs.

So in case you've ever wanted to know, my right boob weighs 17.7 lbs, and my left one weighs 17.3 lbs, bringing the grand weight hanging off my chest to an even 35 lbs.

The tech was like "gosh! That's a lot for someone of your size!" and I was like "ya fucking think?!"

For a frame of reference, I weigh 136 lbs total. One-quarter of my weight is tits.

I am one-quarter titty.

And I'm telling that to the next doctor who suggests I lose weight.

Anyway. Remember to do regular breast exams, and don't be afraid of mammograms. Yes, they're checking for cancer, but they also tell you fun things like how much your chest weighs and whether or not your boobs are compliant.

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The sexual tension between a girl and not feeling real every time her birthday comes around

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Fuck Israel and fuck everyone who still wants to pretend this is confusing or complicated. Is it really that hard to point out the "bad people" in a scenario where a multi-billion military apparatus is handcuffing and killing children and medical staff inside a fucking hospital?

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legitimately so scary that i just made a doctors appointment for 2025. you mean the far distant sci fi future 2025? you mean the pacific rim 2025? you mean i have to go to the doctor while giant robots are fighting the fucking kaiju? fuck all the way offfffffff

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randomly remembering the time in 2012 when everyone kept saying the world was going to end at midday that day and like, i didnt really believe it, but i didnt want to be a complete fool if i was wrong, so i excused myself from class to go sit the field and perfectly timed the beat drop to a skrillex song just in case something happened. and im just. retroactively amused by the idea of ushering in the appocalypse with skrillex. most 2012 thing you could possibly do.

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i feel so bad every time (my sweet sweet beloved) harvey says "i worry about you" because i am heading down to the mines and im biting the heads off bats like ozzy osbourne i need a way to communicate to my babyboy that im not in danger i AM the danger

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"whatever, who cares anyway?" a meme redraw of a pic i found on pinterest and thought it'd fit Shane perfectly lol. *i love Shane* · · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

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Me: I hate gossip

Also me:

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I personally headcanon that the reason that the townsfolk all unquestioningly accept the farmer despite them being the weirdest person (?) alive is that they've all lived in the same tiny, rural, seemingly isolated town for most of their lives and have no real experience with someone from outside it. They probably just accept that that's just how cityfolk are, and it would be rude to question it. Like yeah, they sometimes barge into their bedrooms wearing a trashcan lid as a hat, present them with their favorite meal, and then fuck off to fish until they pass out at two in the morning, and routinely take one-way trips to Calico Desert with no way to get back, only to be spotted heading into the mines early the next morning, but they're from Zuzu city. Besides, that meal they pulled out of their backpack was pretty damn good

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trying to experiment more with color agh!!!