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pirates of the caribbean really introduced an eldritch octopus man who kills indiscriminately and torments the dead as their poster villain and then you watch the movies and it's like, "oh no, actually the worst villain in this series is a small white british man who functions as the herald of capitalism" and that was very very brave of them

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"Quivering" is my least-favourite word in the english language. Nothing and nobody should be quivering. If you're quivering right now, stop that shit immediately. Tremble or shake if you must but the quivering has to stop.

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friends

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eagerly awaiting the day daniel radcliffe, elijah wood, and robert pattinson just make the most fucked up bizarre unmarketable film together

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the best part about having a job is being able to go through doors other people aren’t allowed to use the worst part is everything else

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Internet Safety

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this sucks so bad i need to [remembers suicide jokes only worsen my mental health] put on the best talent show this towns ever seen

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do NOT kill a bug loose in your home. do NOT release it outside. mail it to me P.O. box 453 in LA CA. i teach them circus tricks. if my training doesn’t work i will eat it

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I would rather kms than play audio from my phone in public without headphones and I don’t understand how others don’t feel the same

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i highly doubt anyone has a screenshot of this but please if you happen to have a pic of the tweet of the guy’s package on the roof and the caption says “Are you cunts fucking bent? @auspost” please please please reach out

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sylus love and deepspace is fr reiji sakamaki....

man my past rly comes back to haunt me sometimes huh 😭

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Oh nooo I hadn’t noticed that my cat’s automatic feeder was getting low on food so as usual she dashed off when she heard the machine start but I couldn’t hear the usual sound of her food falling into the bowl so I went to look and my poor cat was just. Sitting there. Staring at her empty food bowl. Then for a second she glanced up at me then right back to her bowl with the biggest, saddest, most bewildered eyes you could ever imagine on such a small creature. I filled her bowl and the machine right away ofc but I still feel a little guilty 😭

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i love asking my cat 'what's up?' or 'what is it?' or 'what do you want?' and getting that fancy feast stare back at me. girl has no idea what she wants or what is going on she's just experiencing it

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Me, before posting a chapter on AO3: Wow. This is really good. The syntax, the inner turmoil, the grammar. Impeccable. 10/10

Me as soon as the chapter is live: yeah, no. I deserve to be shot.