diary-of-a-former-fat-kid

[diary-of-a-former-fat-kid]

The Beginning

When I was born I was 8 lbs 1 oz - that made me the heaviest of my mother's children. I am the youngest of the family. As a baby, being chunky was cute and adorable - I mean who doesn't think chubby little baby legs are cute? As a kid in school, it got you picked on, especially when you add the awkwardness that I never really got out of the oral stage of Freud's Stages of Development and I sucked my thumb until well in middle school, but that's a different confessional blog.

Although following on the oral stage of development, that's commonplace for addicts or those who might have a binge eating disorder (Food Addiction isn't actually in the DSM-V, but is currently being studied by various sources). If I were to diagnose myself, I would say I have a food addiction, because I do crave it no matter if I'm really hungry or not. It has been something that has been a form of comfort since I could remember. On top of remembering the cravings of food and the comfort in them, I also remember my check-up before 5th grade weighing 199 lbs (90.26 kg). Ever since then I've dealt with weight loss and weight issues.

The problem for me, anyway, with the weight issue included a lifetime of self-esteem issues, depression, and self-harm (I think the self-esteem issues along with some other issues going on at the time really prompted that, but different story for a different time/blog). I have tried starving, purging, counting calories, cutting carbs, and a various of other options to lose weight. This constant failure prompted me to get weight loss surgery.

I chose the method called Biliopancreatic Diversion and Duodenal Switch (DS or Switch for short). With the DS procedure a part of the stomach is removed and the surgeon leaves the pylorus intact. The pylorus is the valve that controls food drainage from the stomach. The remaining part of the stomach is connected to the lower portion of the small intestine. Basically that means part of my stomach was cut out (similar to the sleeve) removed and then the part remaining is connected to the lower part of my small intestine. I chose this method because, while risky, it also has the highest success rate.

I had this surgery on December 23rd - the Monday before Christmas. At the point of surgery I weighed 313 lbs (141.98 kg). Today when I weighed I was 285.3 lbs (129.41 kg). While I'm not where I want to be; however, I am on the track to where I want to be. I don't remember the last time I was under 300 lbs, tbh. I think it was after my divorce. So being under 300 lbs has definitely made me happy.

The biggest change for me in the past 3 weeks and 4 days has been not being able to eat bread, drink sweet tea, or pasta. I also have been getting full faster so I'm not eating as big of meals, and that has also been a mind blown moment because I can feel like I can eat horse, but end up eating 3 bites of whatever is on my plate. I also am currently on a plastic fork tender diet, which means things like chicken salad, soup, hamburger, and scrambled eggs. I'm learning in what ways I can get protein my food so I don't have to rely on protein shakes (1 1/2 weeks of those prepaid shakes are disgusting.)

That's the start of my journey. More to come in the coming weeks.