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#I thought this was like. an explosion of mud and Debris#then eyes focused#(didn’t realise they were unfocused)#(very fatigued)
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huge shout out to this little kid for writing my favorite poem
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cheapskate bleach tutorial

Sticking it under a readmore but this is how i make my shirts etc for like a fiver's worth of materials. I am far from being an expert btw im just playing with chemicals. also probably do this in a ventilated area or something
You will need:
Bleach (I use thick toilet bleach it's like 80p)
The thing you want to bleach onto (In this case, a tote bag for a friend. usually i thrift old black shirts.) You should do a patch test before any real bleaching -- dab a tiny bit on the inside of a hem somewhere before you commit. I don't show that below because i forgot to do it but you should. You should ALSO iron the thing before you bleach it. So it's flat. Do as I say not as I do etc.
Something to put inside / between your garment and the table (Asda brand weetabix box babyyy)
Paintbrush (Mine is from a multipack from Poundland. I also accidentally left it in bleach last time and it kind of dissolved so I had to cut off the most egregious of the stray bristles.)
Chalk (For snacking) (I'm joking please don't eat the chalk) (I only have big pavement chalk, again, from Poundland, but you can get a good point with a craft knife)
Step one: move the cat
Step two: insert cereal box into / behind the thing you are bleaching.
Step three: chalk on your design. this is the logo of a wine brand i have never tried but i like the snail. It can be super rough or very precise, whichever helps you know where to put your lines.
As you can tell it's easy to move stuff and redo it by just smudging the chalk away, or, worst case scenario, giving it a wash. Though that sucks if you're impatient like me bc you do NOT want to bleach this while it's wet. Once you're happy with your design, smack it around a bunch to take off most of the chalk, so you wind up with a vague outline. I didn't get a pic of this stage but here's what the iasip one looked like:
Step four: Acquire your bleach and put it in the special bleach jar your hosuemates labelled so you would stop drinking normal water out of it. Accept that Nyx hates you for not letting her drink it.
Step five: Go for it man. The bleach is kinda goopy so don't expect it to come out like paint, but it does mean that you can control the line crispness and width quite easily depending on how hard you press the brush down. I find it really helps for stuff like serif fonts.
You can dilute your bleach with water, which can help it get into all the little crevices esp if your fabric is a little bumpy, but do another small patch test before committing to anything on the main piece, because some fabrics absolutely suck up water and your lovely crispy lines will blow out like an old tattoo. don't do it. Unless you want that look, in which case get silly with it
The other weird thing abt it is obviously that you can't see what you painted right away, it takes a couple seconds to show up, so it's a pretty slow process. The fabric will first go darker where you painted, then lighten from orange to a pale yellow over about 30 seconds. DON'T go "this bleach aint shit" and paint over it to make it lighten faster -- overbleaching it can weaken the fabric and make it tear.
Tragic.
Here are some progress shots of the snail! When you're finished, you should wait for it to develop properly, but it depends how light you want it to be. I let the lines sit for a while before doing the details, and then washed it a bit prematurely so they'll stay a little darker. For nice pale yellow you want to wait around an hour.
Step six: drown her


Nice cold water, wash out all the remaining bleach and chalk. I chucked it in the wash for ten minutes because it's a weird shape and size to wash in the sink and I'm a lazy bastard. but handwashing works just as well.
Step seven: revel in your new bootleg merch. You made that. You did that. thrive. go forth and make weird shit.
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I love you, bee cute furry face.
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people who are just finding out about internet tracking and data mining in the year 2025 and that your special robot friend does not respect your privacy lol
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will is always like “im so fucked up and twisted” you’re not evil dude you’re a closeted 34 y/o with untreated brain damage just take your anti-inflammatories and suck some dick. NOT THAT DICK jesus christ
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mermaid internet cafe in an upside down boat, where the mermaids go to read fanfiction, and do whatever else they do on the internet. remote work, probably.
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Tooth fetishizing is wholly unchristian behavior for this website.
... 🤨
Remember to brush and floss, friends! You're worth the effort, so keep at it!
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some of you have never even known anyone that grew up in poverty so your line of where poverty begins and ends is based on nonsense and a desperate need to be 'one of the good ones' in every situation. there's people living in the same city as you who go without food in order to pay for their children's school uniforms. there's people sitting in their beds with their winter coats on under the duvet because they can't afford to turn the heating on. but you want people who are desperate and terrified to hold your hand and tell you "don't worry: you're not rich, so that makes you poor." let's bring back checking our privilege maybe. wasn't a bad idea
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*through gritted teeth* it doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be done. it doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be done. it doesn’t have to be-
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