didiwaffles

[didiwaffles]

happy pride month i guess

[didiwaffles]

Spin this wheel first and then this wheel second to generate the title of a YA fantasy novel!

(If the second wheel lands on an option ending with a plus sign, spin it again)

Share what you got!

[didiwaffles]

Had a huge meltdown tonight

Got told I'm having fun

Bye I'm not walking this earth with these people

I'll be burning alive and they'll say I'm being overly dramatic again

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i walk a fine line between “i’m asexual and i hate how much the world revolves around sex” and “sex is way too stigmatized and people should be able to be more open about it if they want to”

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I want to exist, there's so much i want to do

And yet, I sleep

[didiwaffles]

happy pride month y'all

read right to left!! what if their car broke down and they were late to court

Close-up of their expressions because i love them so much

got the idea here, it was very fun to doodle!! (thank you OP for the lovely rendition) also. oh my god. i cannot draw bikes. Join the discord for more fun glimpses of art and these two!! we are so very normal about them, promise.

[didiwaffles]

Happy pride month!

Unfortunately I'm illegal in my country but hey be gay do crimes so gotta exist bleh

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Cringe is dead until you listen to the politicians for one second. Nvm THAT's where all the cringe has concentrated

[didiwaffles]

TW // rant, self-harm mention, suicide mention

Bear with me I didn't take my pills today don't read if you're whatever etc I literally don't care at this point I need to scream it to SOMEWHERE

I don't understand christians. Can't say about other people who believe in god but. How do you live?

How do you keep going when you hit rock bottom? The kinda rock bottom when you have to turn to god. You have nothing else left. Oh wait, HE DID THIS TO YOU. How do you keep being his follower when you realize you have to DESERVE the right to live. You have to DESERVE the right to have your needs met. You have to SUFFER to have something in your stomach. You have to SUFFER just to live the life everyone else didn't have to do ANYTHING for. No, you can't have that. You didn't PROVE you deserve it. When you're all alone, or worse yet, when you have people around you but they won't move a finger for you, how do you keep believing? When he says, no, you don't deserve to feel happy, or even just content. You don't deserve it. Someone else? Yeah, they do. Cause they have people who would help them. You? Nah. Prove that you deserve to have anything. Then we'll talk.

And you keep believing he has your best interests in mind? Please.

I hit that rock bottom. I can no longer afford water and bread every day. Shower? That's a privilege I don't have. A roof above my head. Well.... It's... almost a year? Maybe more, even, since I started living in a state of 'tomorrow, I might not have this'. Ah, I'm not even counting the fear that tomorrow that rogue drone will fall just a few kms earlier. Or that sound last night. Do I know what it was? No. Did it sound eerily similar to the blast of a bomb? Who knows, I never actually heard a sound of a bomb. Maybe it was just a thunder. Just a 'too loud and too unusual of an echo for a thunder and also there was no rain anywhere in the vicinity but okay' kinda thing. No, I'm not even talking about that. Just your usual 'things that I've been deprived of without my knowledge and I could never have a say in it'.

And now I don't even have a right to enjoy things.

'Easy, just don't play a game if it doesn't bring you pleasant emotions' okay and? What then? Oh yeah look how much free time I have now to let my depression consume me altogether until I either want to kill myself or just die, internally or not. 'If you have so much free time just go find a job' oh yeah! That was a part of my initial point! Suffering! Suffering for extended periods of time so that I maybe possibly could have a chance at *checking notes* what everyone else already has! Yay!

(And btw I do understand that everyone has to work it's not about me not wanting to work it's about me being the only one who cares to make my life better with everyone else either simply using the results of my work or actively trying to make my life worse)

But everyone else has someone. Maybe it's their parents who will make sure they don't die in a ditch. Or like. One parent. Parental figure? Older sibling maybe? Extended family member? A friend's parent? A friend. A singular friend that does really care for them. Wow. I wish I had what you have. Maybe I just want one person in my life who would run after me when I'm having a breakdown and not let me stew on my thoughts until I come to the conclusion that I'd really want rn to go to the kitchen, take a knife, and run it through my hand with like, as much strength as I have. It'll hurt as fuck, I know. I might even cut something I shouldn't, yeah. But at the moment, I'll take anything but feeling this pain in my chest from this realization that no one cares about me in the way that would matter.

My dad called me entitled for asking for help. My sister promised to run me headfirst down the stairs from the 8 floor for *checks notes* not returning home after she severely hurt me emotionally? Yeah sounds about right. My brother... Yeah why would he care about me, after all it was I who brainwashed his son into thinking he's abusive manipulating asshole, his ex-wife is an alcoholic whore, and he doesn't care about him one bit (obviously it's me, not their actions.) Since his son decided fuck him he's gonna do whatever he wants and not the idea of what he needs of an idiot who didn't even finish school. he decided okay but let me just ruin his life real quick and by extention mine (cause I said literally you should do what you enjoy fuck your dad (I mean just not LITERALLY)). Speaking of my brother! His existence alone fucked me over because he's mom's favorite child and she put herself (and me by extension) into this shit we're in all for him. And at this point I no longer think it's that much of a reach to think he has a lot of money and just pretends he doesn't so he can drain even more money from mom. I mean either this or he gotta start filming tutorials on youtube about how the fuck did he spend $50k in 3 months to have absolutely nothing. And I do think it's my mom's own fault because EVERYONE been warning her but she doesn't care how many times it burns her, she can't stop won't stop. I just don't get why I am the one suffering but sure. The rest of my family doesn't exist. Well, they're out there somewhere. That's all I know. And, well, grandma. But I'm not even gonna look her way, even if I'll be fucking dying, after that homophobic and plain just fucking DISGUSTING remark she made that one time. Like I'd rather go homeless but not be associated with her after THAT.

As for friends... Well, I never had those. I mean, I THOUGHT I had, at different points in time, but they all eventually showed me that I'm wrong, one way or another. (This does not however include online friends cause it's more complicated here and I just know Emy WOULD fistfight Putin for me irl if she could.)

So like. When it's me against all odds, begs a question. Is it even worth it to keep going? For what? For who? The chances I can solo carry this shit are minimal when these fucking idiots keep feeding like their lives depend on it. I might as well just be the first to push the surrender button like what's the point? They all just gonna surr on minute 6 like fucking degenerates anyways, even if I do try to farm and get a chance at late game. And then they say, 'only bots are playing at grandmaster- THEN WHY DO I HAVE 40% WINRATE THEN HUH. TELL ME. NO, TELL ME. WHERE DID THESE 40% COME FROM IF I CAN SOLO CARRY PLAYING TWO RANGS BETTER THAN ANYONE HERE. EXPLAIN THIS.

[didiwaffles]

anyway,. back to your usual queue'd posts.

[didiwaffles]

Saw a video and it's been on my mind so I gotta rant

It went like this. A person talks about tgcs of small artists who just post random stuff about their ocs, either random oc art or long text posts of convoluted lore (yes this is personal) and they say that no one is actually interested in this aside from some other artists, and what actual consumers want is a finished product.

I won't dig into how wrong this statement is or say anything about this person's own art quality and skill. Let's say... they're correct, in the world they live in.

Now, I didn't do any research on who they are, what they do, how many fans they have, etc. I'm gonna go off the first impression only, based on what I saw and heard in that single video. And what I saw is a beginner artist, who draws ocs and only recently decided to start youtube altogether or talking videos in particular, with quite a small but loyal following. Not saying this is bad, on the opposite. HOWEVER. This person JUST said that no one wants to see random sketches, random art of random ocs, or long convoluted lore posts. Sure, okay. Then surely this person can stand by their words. Surely this oc they draw in the video has a webtoon dedicated to them? Animation? Animated series maybe? Anything that can be called a finished product? At least a small comic that makes sense to a random person without context?

Again, I did not do a research on if they have any of this. I can only judge based on their artstyle, the quality of their art, and what they said in the video. And I'm experienced enough in art to be able to say with some level of certainty: they either do none of that, or didn't do it for a long time for sure.

So who do you think you are to demand others do what you yourself don't? And are you implying that you don't even deserve an attention you're given? From people who do want your opinion on this matter, who like your artstyle, who're interested in your ocs and would actually kill to see a 50-page essay of convoluted lore from you? Are you trying to insult them with this?

[didiwaffles]

Lowkey criminal how no one has a crashout on how Amara treats Nahyuta post reveal in court.

personally, I would be on the news-

but no worries! There's someone who will definitely not hesitate to call that shit out (the only issue is that she is one sentence away from jumping over the prosecution bench to tackle the problem (and that problem is Amara herself))

[didiwaffles]

i love my little violent lesbian

she WILL throw hands for Simon and Nahyuta. Murder charge? Baby who gaf!

[didiwaffles]

asking the real questions

nakano my beloved you would hate half of the yous from other universes (as it should be)

[didiwaffles]

y’all expose yourselves and take this fanfic test i was just forced to by an irl so now i’m making you too

[didiwaffles]

One of Nahyuta's love languages is physical touch and that includes braiding someone's hair! and he is damn good at it, those hands are magic~

and also saying stuff in khura'inese around simon and nakano that he knows they won't understand

cookie to anyone who can decipher the text thou

(join THE blackmadhi discord server or nakano teleports behind u!!)

(not pictured here but nakano's thoughts are "i would kill for him" btw

girlie is experiencing the wonders of FOUND FAMILY AND COMFORT

also. prettiest nahyuta ive drawn to date AND IT'S IN FUCKING MSPAINT OF ALL PLACES

HOW-

anyway. my mouse and paint kissed each other today that's how i was able to make this

[didiwaffles]

Hello, tumblr user. Before you is a tumblr post asking you to name a female fictional character. You have unlimited time to tag a female character, NOT a male one.

Begin.